A/N: Two chapters and a day early because Mondays are Mondays and I figured you could use a pick-me-up! Enjoy!
I watched as Cullen and Cassandra conversed before turning to Ellana, Varric and Solas. Ellana took a slight step back towards Solas, almost imperceptible, at Cullen's approach. He had a dark look on his face as he spoke, Ellana lifting her chin in response. Their conversation was brief before Cullen turned. Ellana and the others headed for the inner part of the temple. Cullen headed towards me, slinging one of my arms over his shoulder before hoisting me up by the waist.
"I told you to get behind the wall," he growled.
"I tried, a demon had other plans," I ground out, he gave a wry twist of his lips.
"Your sister is headed in to try and close the Breach. The able bodied soldiers and I will remain here; you and the other injured are to be returned to Haven. Have Bethany see to your wound as I am certain we will need all the healers we can get after this," he spoke.
He sat me up on a wagon being pulled by a druffalo among other injured soldiers and those unable to fight. As he released me, I grabbed his hand. He looked at me expectantly, but no words came. Instead, I squeezed it gently which earned a nod from him before being shouted off. The trip back was much different from the trip up. Bodies had been placed on pyres, demonic beings removed, fires put out and a quietness that followed us.
By the time we had reached Haven, the sky had darkened with what must have been nightfall. The Breach made any sense of day or night impossible to make out. Bethany had healed my leg and listened as I recounted what happened. Shortly after, I returned to work with her. Once all the wounded were cared for and resting, Bethany and I headed for the tavern to sit and eat a quick meal. Beans again, no meat.
Neither of us had the energy to talk, we were barely sitting up straight. The portly barmaid dropped two ales at our table without a word but offered a small smile. I had no taste for the stuff, as it left me dizzy and sluggish. Bethany knocked hers back in a few large gulps. She gestured to mine with one brow quirked, I slid it to her. She downed it within seconds.
Soon after, she was swaying in her chair and her eyelids were trying to shut themselves. I chuckled and helped her stand. I slung one of her arms over my shoulders and held her waist, walking her back to the cabin we had been moved to. Asaala had returned with us to remain my guard and keep watch per Cassandra's orders; I found the qunari's presence reassuring instead of threatening.
As we walked out the tavern's door, a deafening crack reverberated through the air. I looked towards the Breach and saw a great light pulse up the vortex in its middle. A light bloomed from the top and vibrated all the way to Haven. The Breach didn't disappear, but the groaning ceased. Cheers resounded through the village.
"Bethany," I exclaimed, "She did it!"
I looked at Bethany and found her asleep. Once we made it back to the cabin, I fell asleep and slept well for the first time in a week.
...
"Bethany!" Cassandra's steel voice snapped.
She was trying to wake the drunken mage, but to no avail. Bethany was snoring loudly, blissfully unaware of what was going on.
I sat up, rubbing sleep from my eyes, "What is it?"
"Your sister was injured in her attempt to close the Breach," she explained.
I blinked, "What do you need?"
"Solas says all she should need is an elfroot poultice and rest."
"Can he not make one?"
"He says he is adept at healing magic but not a talented apothecary."
"Very well."
I threw the covers of the cot off of myself and walked to the ingredients cabinet. I took stock of our limited supply, but we had just enough to make a few poultices. Cassandra leaned against the fireplace mantel of the small cabin Bethany, Minaeve, Asaala and I were housed in. Bethany said Minaeve was hardly ever in the cabin, usually working late into the night or falling asleep at her desk. Asaala wasn't sleeping, instead she was watching me. Cassandra's dark eyes followed my every move as I prepared the poultice. When I had finished, she motioned for me to follow her, signaling for Asaala to stay. I slipped my boots onto my feet and wrapped the blanket from my cot around my shoulders.
The village was serenely quiet. Snow fell silently and the stars were bright in the inky sky above. I blinked, I could actually see the stars.
"Did she close it?" I asked.
"For the moment, but it is not permanent. At least according to Solas. He says more power is needed to truly seal it," Cassandra explained.
"More power?"
"Solas believes we need more magic to power her mark. It has the ability to close the tears and rifts in the Veil. It is of magical origin."
"But you don't believe she is guilty?"
"No, I do not. We saw a vision at the temple ruins. Divine Justinia called out to your sister for help. She responded, but was attacked alongside the Divine by whoever was behind it."
"Did everyone make it out alright?"
"When she attempted to close it, she had to first open it to be able to seal it properly. When it opened, a pride demon emerged. It attacked. We lost a few recruits and a dozen more were injured, but considering..."
I nodded, "Have the people calmed down?"
"Yes, thank the Maker."
We had walked to a small cabin near the front gate of the village. It was nestled away from the main path. Cassandra rapped her knuckles on the wood before opening the door.
"Red lyrium...what's it doing here?," Varric's gravely voice spoke from a nearby chair, full of...fear.
"I don't know," Cullen's voice murmured.
Cullen was standing near the mantle of the fireplace, his back to us. The knots in my stomach eased when I saw him unharmed. He turned and was surprised to see me. His armor was caked in black blood and he had a few cuts on his face. He looked exhausted. His eyes traveled up and down, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment. My cheeks reddened as I realized I was in only my nightshift.
"Perhaps the Breach's magic could have drawn on lyrium beneath the temple, corrupted it," Solas theorized as he motioned to Ellana.
"I didn't even know lyrium could be corrupted. What does that even mean?" Cullen growled.
"It's evil," Varric stated.
"We will have to worry about it later," Cassandra commanded, "For now we have more pressing issues."
I focused on Ellana and winced at the gash across her belly. Thankfully, it was not deep. Solas had stemmed the bleeding and knit the flesh back together, but it was not fully healed and looked aggravated. I looked at Solas with a brow quirked.
"I am afraid her Mark interferes with healing magic. It was all I was able to do," he explained.
"Have you encountered magic like this before?"
"Never."
I pushed her shirt up to get better access to the wound. I heard Cullen turn around, clearing his throat awkwardly. I opened the pouch the poultice was in before spreading it across the wound. Once finished, I had Solas lift her by her shoulders in order for me to wrap boiled cotton around her waist to cover the wound. He laid her gently back down on the bed.
"Do we fear that she will use the Mark in her sleep?" Cullen asked.
So, he'd been here to prevent any disastrous outbursts of magic.
"I think not," Solas shook his head, "She is in a peaceful state of unconsciousness."
"I will take my leave then," Cullen said.
"I think we can all get some rest," Cassandra agreed before striding out of the cabin door.
Solas and Varric followed closely behind. Cullen motioned for me to leave before him.
"I can walk you back to your cabin?" he offered.
I nodded.
...
We walked in silence for a time. I fiddled with a curl and he with his gauntlets.
"I'm so -" he started.
"It's so-" I started at the same time.
We looked at each other, both of us blushing.
"You first," I said, flinging the curl over my shoulder.
"Well, I've been meaning to tell you how grateful I - we - all are for your help. Bethany was breaking under the strain of being the only healer," he said.
"I'm just grateful to be able to be of use, having my magic back makes that possible."
"You were quite the prodigy in magical talent at the Circle. Is it back in its full force?"
"No, which is something I want to ask you about," he looked at me, perplexed.
"I was wondering if you could train me. I want to be able to defend myself without relying on my magic. Also, Minaeve thinks if I get stronger physically, my magic may strengthen as well. Being Tranquil took its toll."
Cullen seemed to mull this over for a few minutes. "I think it's a good idea. However, I can't train you individually, I just don't have the time with the way things currently are."
When I looked dejected he quickly added, "That's not to say that I can't train you," I could tell he was fighting a smirk before he said, "you'll just have to join the other recruits."
"I suppose that makes the most sense," I nodded, though apprehensively.
"What were you going to say before you let me speak?" he asked.
"I just - I," butterflies flitted in my stomach and I couldn't find the words, "I'm just glad you're here."
Cullen's eyes turned molten and a warmth came into his face that I hadn't seen since we'd been thrown back into each other's lives.
"As am I - that is, that you're here," he stammered, "Are you alright? You seemed to be in a difficult state when I left and we didn't have time to talk up on the mountain."
"I am better now. Breaking the Rite...it was...very painful. I had to face and feel things all over again. Imagine everything you've ever felt hitting you all at one time."
"That would be...I am sorry," he murmured, "Did you remember everything then?"
"Enough," I whispered.
I looked at him when he did not speak; that haunted look was in his eyes again and I knew he was returning to his own traumatic time. I wanted to distract him from that, not remind him of it.
"But it's over now. Alrik is dead, we are no longer in Kirkwall and the Breach in the sky is the threat we must face now."
I started walking towards the cabin when he said nothing, but felt his hand on my arm. He turned me towards him. His eyes were molten again, but with rage this time. He pulled me close, forcing me to keep eye contact. Not speaking right away, instead his eyes studied my face. I studied his, both of us memorizing each other again.
My heart ached with the handsomeness of his face, the kindness of his eyes. He had new scars and old ones. Eyes like gold in the starlight, brow furrowed in concentration, full lips in a tight line, the deep scar above the upper one prominent. I watched his lips as they parted before he spoke.
"Meira," my heart quickening at the sound of my real name on his lips as he said it like a prayer, "I am so sorry for not being there to protect you. For turning my back on you after what happened. I regret nothing more than my actions towards you these past few years. I hope you can forgive me and give me a chance to show you who I want to be - who I am trying to be."
Tears wet my eyes at the sadness in his words, the self-loathing. He thought himself to blame for my suffering when nothing was further from the truth.
"You have nothing to apologize for. Nothing," I emphasized when he opened his mouth to protest, "You were hurting and needed away from there. I understood that. Your trust was betrayed and you felt that you couldn't trust any of us. I understood that. Following you was my choice, what happened with Alrik was his."
His eyes bored into my own, "I want to believe that, I really do, but if I hadn't left, you never would have followed me to Kirkwall."
I couldn't argue with that, but I had to make him see. Hesitantly, I reached up and placed a hand on his face. My heart pounding in my chest. He closed his eyes, leaning into my touch and gripping my wrist with his hand.
"I won't deny that it hurt when you left without a word," he winced, "but I will never blame you for what happened. Youare the reason I endured."
His eyes snapped open. Surprise colored his face; he had not expected me to say that. His eyes studied my face again, as if he'd be content to do it forever. My cheeks heated under his stare. When he said nothing, I ran my thumb over the scar on his lip. His hand twitched on my wrist.
"This is new," I observed.
He smirked, his skin pulling under the pad of my thumb, "An interesting tale, that one."
"I'm sure it is, you'll have to regale me with it some time, Commander."
I dropped my hand and we continued walking. His smirk deepened, a smugness coming into his face.
"Impressed are you?" he asked.
"Indeed, why I want to swoon at the intense attraction to you it causes me to feel," I joked, breathily fanning myself.
I won the desired response from him as his smugness vanished and in its place undeniable nervousness.
"Maker's breath," he swore, turning pink.
I laughed. I realized it was the first time I had truly laughed in years. With joy and warmth. More laughter bubbled up, but tears of happiness came with it. Cullen looked at me with concern, despite the small smile on his own lips.
"I'm sorry, I haven't laughed in so long. It kind of overwhelmed me."
He looked at me seriously again as we stood before the cabin, "I vow to do everything in my power to keep sadness at bay for you."
With that, he kissed my hand and left me standing in the starlight.
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