A/N: Ah…Talk about brain crunching eegah! Well I did it…finally. So review me and I'll love you forever and it's sure to cure the dreaded 'writer's block' I've been going through.

Much Thanks to Jen and Ellex on SGAHC for supplying the description of the slime engulfing the jumper.

... .LV. ...

Part 5:

The End of Antics

By Lady Valmar

Song Inspiration:

The Great London Traffic Warden Massacre by Morcheeba

Sheppard slapped the first man, who startled awake.

"Whaaaat?" grouched the man, sitting up slowly. Sheppard eyed his hair, it was sticking out every which way. Then when he saw the position he was in, he startled and leapt away from his colleague.

"Ohhh nice," said Rodney sarcastically, eyeing the man's unruly hair. "Now move."

He pushed past the man to the panel and pried it off. Then began to move several of the glass slides in and out of the console, while attaching the leads from his laptop to its central interface.

If he didn't figure out a way of contacting Atlantis soon or at least figure out how to stop that oozing slime from swallowing the ship whole, they were screwed and nevermind when the jumper ran out of power…

Rodney tried to force himself to focus on one problem at a time but it was a little hard considering the headache he now had thanks to the Tweedles and Sheppard's noisy antics previously.

"Wat's go ng onnn," said the second man, grinning stupidly at Rodney.

"Sorry but I don't have time for explanations, so Tweedle-Dee or Dum or whatever your name is go over there," said Rodney pointing with one hand while typing with his other.

So the power was being drained from the ship, maybe there was a way to suck power from the ooze…but he wasn't even sure how to do that let alone…oh for crying out loud, thought Rodney, as Tweedle-Dum guy threw his arms around Rodney's middle.

"I love you Rodders!" He squealed, before trying to plant a wet kiss on Rodney's cheek.

"Yuck! Get off me! You sick bastard!" screamed Rodney, as he turned to disentangle himself from the man.

Sheppard smirked as he watched Rodney's attempts. This really wasn't the time to be getting revenge but really, it was just so darn hilarious to see this full-grown man, trying to cuddle Rodney, who was just shrugging off his attempts.

"No not me you idiot! That one. You! Get this idiot friend of yours to get his filthy hands off of me, we don't have time for this!" snapped Rodney, his stylus rushing across his tablet PC, as he held the man at bay with his other hand.

"What am I your maid? Do it yourself!" snapped the man, whom Sheppard presumed was Tweedle-Dee.

"Alright now. Settle down everybody," said Sheppard, watching as Tweedle-Dum began to giggle non-stop and attempt to reach for Sheppard's vest zipper. This wasn't funny now.

"Settzle…ooowww nnna…Wa…Oww…my head…" said the scientist, clutching it with his hands.

"Whoa take it easy, come on sit here," supplied Tweedle-Dee as he reluctantly eased the man down onto the other side of the jumper, on the seats.

"What happened?"

"Your guess is as good as mine," said Tweedle-Dee.

Sheppard was about to supply the explanation when he turned at Rodney's 'hm-ing'. "Rodney?"

"Strange…"

"What's strange?"

Rodney held up his finger as, he began to tap the tablet with his stylus. Peering closer, he noticed a noticeable energy spike in the power. Was the spike coming from? Well he knew one thing, the slime thing was draining power but that shouldn't have caused the spike.

He was picking up spikes of energy readings throughout the ship, and yet it couldn't have been from the ship itself, as its power was being drained. So what was causing the spikes? It had to be the slime. There was no other explanation. Was it trying to communicate…?

That's ridiculous, Thought Rodney, tapping his screen as he monitored the power. There was now 1 hour and 30 minutes of power left, maybe he could leech these energy spikes into the main system and once he got enough he could attempt to use communications.

So simple yet the slime was the cause of lack of communications so it would be pointless to…

"Rodney?"

"Just a minute…"

How about instead of leeching power for communications he could use it to power the cloak and… Rodney snapped his fingers but his excitement was quickly quelled when he saw the spikes dissipate.

Reluctantly Rodney pried his eyes from his tablet to look at the control crystals. Those spikes of energy if they had been able to they could have possibly friend the crystals, and that would make their chances of getting out of the situation they were in worse.

Sheppard walked to stand beside Rodney whose face was inches from the glass slide crystals, his eyebrows furrowed. "Rodney!"

"Yes WHAT!" screamed Rodney; his voice cracking as the ship lurched suddenly backwards.

"What the hell?" screamed one of the Tweedles nearby.

"Rodney? What did you do?"

Rodney looked up at Sheppard from where he was sitting. "I didn't do it!"

"Gee Rodney, could you be any more guilty?" questioned Sheppard sarcastically, his eyebrows raising.

"I swear I didn't. It's that blasted slime stuff and in case you didn't know we're having fluctuations of energy spikes…"

"And that's bad because?"

"Because…they could fry our systems…or worse damage the crystals permanently and without them…"

"We're sitting ducks, right. So can you somehow use these spikes to our advantage?" asked Sheppard, eyeing the roof of the jumper as the sudden sound of something squelching a lot like mud began to move over the metal exterior of the hull.

"Um Rodney. I'm no scientist but I don't think that sounds good," said Sheppard.

Before Rodney could supply a come back the slime in a maddening rush of squelching sounds that slurped and sputtered voraciously over the jumper's roof. As the sound ceased, the console Rodney had been working on began to pop and sizzle.

Sheppard luckily made a grab and knocked him out of the way as sparks descended right where he had just been sitting.

"What the…?"

Rodney stared at the console, the control crystals were cracked and blackened. He stared over at Sheppard, who sighed. "Now what?"

"Rodney?"

Rodney shook his head then felt his eyes drawn to the front windows of the jumper, "I don't know…their…uhh…Sheppard…look," said Rodney, pointing to somewhere behind Sheppard.

"What?"

Turning Sheppard saw what had Rodney speechless, a wall of the brown and green slime was descending down the front window of the jumper, bubbling and oozing rapidly covering what little light there was outside. Sheppard turned back to look at Rodney and said sourly, "This just keeps getting better and better doesn't it?"

A/N: So sentient lifeform or nay?