to the TheUltimateBookworm1234, i haven't noticed. i'm so scared to have sentences only paragraphs that i think i may overdo it on the size of the paragraphs. i'll try to break them up in the future.

i really hope you enjoy this story. i really dislike writing details of medical things because i feel like it doesn't flow easily but i hope this is alright.

Momentary Illusions

Chapter Six

The First Visit to the Gynaecologist

It was about noon when Bill had just barged into his office like Percy had a scheduled meeting with him that he'd had forgotten about. His older brother's face was white, with beads of sweat adorning his temple. He was holding his hands together as tight as ever. He looked furious. Bill hadn't bothered to pull his hair up into a ponytail and let it lay flat over his shoulders, thin and insipid over his narrow frame. He was decked into his dark-navy-and-red Gringott's work uniform, which was pressed and smelled heavily of his cologne.

"Well?" Bill asked, squaring his shoulders up and lifting his head up in a rage. "What do you have to say for yourself?"

Percy put his quill down very calmly and opened his mouth to—

"Mr Weasley, I am SO sorry about this!" Elora walked into the room with an apologetic expression on her face. She tossed a look of contempt towards Bill. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail and she was wearing a rather shocking shade of Quiberon Quafflepuncher pink that morning. Percy shuddered just looking at it. "I don't know what to do about your family, I swear! All of them just barging in without so much as a hello! I'll escort him out—"

"It's fine," Percy waved it off.

"—right now!" Elora continued, waving her arms around angrily. "The absolute nerve of them!"

"Miss Dunn," Percy's voice remained quiet. "It's perfectly fine."

Elora looked surprised but then turned to Bill, glaring at him. "I'm watching the lot of you," she wagged a finger at him. "You're lucky that-that Mr Weasley is such an upstanding head of department because if you were my brother, you'd be banned from coming!" and then walked out of the room, her flamingo-pink skirt swaying behind her.

After she left, Bill stared at Percy with a detached look on his face. There were no laugh lines on his face, no joking about how his secretary could probably knock herself out with her own knockers with the way she kept on strutting about (thank Merlin for that). His face was stern, and his eyes were vacant. He looked in genuine pain.

"Percy," he called out heavily. "Dad said—"

Percy pushed his glasses up his nose and with about the tact of an Inferi said, "I suppose this means that you know now."

"About you having cancer?" Bill enunciated the last part in disbelief. "What are you doing at your JOB? Are you serious?"

"What did you expect me to be doing?" Percy couldn't hide the annoyance in his voice.

"I don't know," Bill slapped his hands to his sides in defeat. "Maybe staying with your family? Maybe talking to your kids? Maybe spending a little bit of time away from this stupid fucking desk for once?"

Percy didn't do as much as flinch.

"Did you know what my daughters told me yesterday after I've come out to them and told them that I've had cancer?" Percy uncomfortably whispered the last few words, as if Bill didn't know, as if the walls had ears and that within the next few hours, the whole Ministry would know. "Oh, thanks for telling us…I guess."

Bill flinched. "Oh, Merlin, Perce, I—"

"You're what? You're sorry?"

"Yeah, Perce." What fucking good would that do? "But you know, the girls are confused, they're—"

He could still feel the gaping hole in his heart thinking about it. "Confused! I would've thought the news of me being really ill combated the news of having a bloody…" Percy swore under his breath because he would not say that word and ruin his bloody day. "Don't you dare blame me for not wanting to be with my family," he said that last part stiffly.

Bill offered an understanding smile. "I know, Perce, but it's just we had to hear this from dad! Over dinner! Do you know how dad doesn't know how to break any sort of bad news? Just went right out and said it during pud, Percy has bloody cancer! Like he's talking about the weather!"

"Well," he doubted he'd fare any better. "Well, please, forgive me for not being the one to deliver the news personally when I've received such a cold reception the day before. I didn't need anyone else barging on my door, demanding me to explain myself." He stared down at his report, where a big splodge of ink had made its way to the top. He put his quill down. The only place he'd ever feel anywhere near close to home and it had to be his sodding office. "He was the one that agreed to it too! It's not like I've forced him down and put an Imperius on him just to…to…"

"Yeah, I know, Perce. I know."

They lapsed into silence. Bill looked overwrought with emotion and Percy just wanted to get back to his job.

"When's…when's your appointment going to be? I'm going with you," he decided. "If mum isn't going to be the one dragging you to it about two hours earlier than you need to be that is."

"It's in a few days," Percy replied in a detached tone. The idea of any more speculums being dislodged into his pelvis sent him rocking to the far edge of the room. He couldn't imagine how much more invasive they had to be. "Wednesday." Percy had even made Elora put it into his schedule. He was not looking forward to his family coming along with him when he was aware that they'd just be asking too many questions. "It's with a gynaecologist."

"Oh, Perce, I'm sorry. That's shite. Absolutely shite."

Sorry wasn't going to be helping him much now, was it? It wasn't going to help him when he was debasing himself for the sake of his family. Percy clenched his jaw. "If you're really sorry, then you wouldn't make me go."

"What do you mean not let you go? I thought you'd have to be there so that you could know the next step."

"Maybe I don't want a 'next step'."

Bill went white, all the blood was drained out of his face. "Perce, you can't fucking mean that! What do you want to do? Do you just want to die? Is that what you want? Merlin, you're just fine with letting our mum and dad lose another child? We have to lose another brother? And what about your fucking daughters?"

Percy stood up from his desk, slamming his fists into the table. "I'm not going to a bloody gynaecologist!"

Bill winced. "Perce, I know that it's bad but—"

"But what?" Percy challenged. "Why don't we go right now? I'll book you an appointment and see how you like it. Force you to go into that room where everyone sat down on the chairs is wearing frocks and carries eight-pound children? Why don't you sit down, have yourself be violated with lubricants and speculums and see how you bloody well like it? Why don't you try living one single day in my shoes and see how it's like? And then I'll let you come and judge me for what I decide to do with my body."

"Perce, that's different!" Bill argued. "I mean I'm a—"

"You're a what?" Percy caught him right where he knew he would. "You're a man? Is that what you wanted to say? And what does that make me? Primpernelle's Next Top Model?"

Hot tears began filling Percy's eyes and he looked away from Bill.

"No, Perce, no," Bill shook his head. "I just meant to say that I'm a bloke that doesn't have those parts. You're a bloke that does. And unfortunately, that means going to a bloody healer that treats people that have those parts. And a good majority of them are women. It's not your fault that you're like this. Not your fault that people don't understand that you can't tell your gender from where you piss from."

Percy let out a nervous laugh and let tears stream down his face. "I can't."

"Yes, you can, Perce," it was so easy for him to say, wasn't it? "We're right here with you."

"My family is falling apart," Percy just got back together with his wife after the 'divorce' debacle. He was just trying to form a relationship with his daughters from new. That could all go down the pan right now! "Ron and Gin and George…they're going to have to know and…the whole bloody department! Do you understand that? Do you understand that if I take this route, I'd have to tell everyone because the bloody head of department can't just be slogging off to appointments without an explanation! Do you know what they'll think of me? What they'll say to me?"

"We'll cross that bridge when we get there," Bill insisted. "Do you think Kingsley is going to let people slag you off?"

"I'm not letting the Minister of Magic tell my employees not to be mean to me."

Bill moved close to Percy, wrapping his arms around him. Percy had always been a few inches shorter than him, and the differences felt so vast that moment when Bill clung onto him as hard as he could.

"Perce." He must've noticed the look on his face. "We'll do this together, okay?"

"No."

"No?"

"I'm not going to-to make a fool out of myself if there's a chance I could still die anyway," Percy shook his head.

Bill was sobbing into Percy's shoulder, holding him as tightly as he could. "For fuck's sake, Perce, if you don't do this, you'll definitely die, you bloody twat. If any of us have to lose you too, we'll bloody lose it." He was so stunned with how tight that Bill was holding onto him. Percy could barely breathe without feeling Bill's hold tighten around him. As if he were afraid to let go just in case he'd collapse and pass away right in front of him. "Mum and dad can't bury another one of their kids. They just can't. It'll kill them." He let out a strangled wheeze. "And Godric, Percy, would you really be okay d-dying knowing that you're terrified of what people thought about you all your life?"

"No," he sounded like a child. He didn't want to die like that. He knew that Bill was right, but he was so bloody scared.

"I know you're scared, Percy."

"What do you want? A trophy for that?" Percy yelled. "No, I'm absolutely excited!"

"You know what we think of you and that's all that matters, alright?" Bill kept telling him, soothingly almost.

"I suppose."

"Yeah, well, we'll-we'll go through all of this together. Me, you, mum, dad, the whole family…alright? And we're going to help you go through whatever is happening back home with Audrey and the girls. Whatever will happen next. We will always be there for you. We don't care what kind of bloody underpants you put on, Percy, why the fucking hell would we? We're the only people that matter, and we'd be fucking devastated if something happened to you."

Percy nodded his head numbly, but he had no idea what he'd agreed to. "Okay."

"I'll come with you to your appointment," Bill stated. "I'm pretty sure mum will too."

He winced at the idea of his overprotective mum coming with him to his gynaecology appointment. But at the same time, if he was stood there with his mum, maybe people would think that he was a dotting son that came with his mum to her appointment. And he was holding onto that right now because he didn't have anything else to hold onto.

Bill had refused to leave his office and instead sat with him when he was doing his work. As Percy worked, Bill played with his quills and drew unattractive pictures of trolls on discarded memos. Bill was far older than him so Percy felt like it wouldn't be fair to ask him if it were wise for him to skip work when he knew how stringent the Gringott's goblins were. He even walked him back to his flat and invited himself to lunch at Percy's flat. As Bill walked in, Audrey looked up from her mysterious pot of ill-looking vegetables. It stunk like Hagrid's Hut. A cookbook was on the counter. She sheepishly discarded the inedible vegetable soup, and they ended up ordering breaded, fried chicken from the chicken shop next door. Bill had changed into a pair of sweatpants Percy had never worn (Audrey had gotten it for him) and an oversized button-down. Molly and Lucy practically sprung to life the second that they noticed that Bill had visited and had gone on to talk mindlessly about their mutual interests, of which Percy shared absolutely none of. Not to Quidditch, not to new board games that exploded or Gringott's politics.

Bill must've noticed this too because he kept glancing at Percy, who felt more like he was about to fall asleep onto his lunch than actually eat it. Percy had eaten a few bites, then had the worst heartburn of his life, which made him wish he hadn't even attempted to eat what he did.

"I'm going to bed," Percy decided in the middle of Molly going on about something uninteresting to him.

Audrey nodded her head, squeezing his hand lightly. By the time that he'd changed into a pair of flannel pyjamas and got to his bed, he was exhausted. He lifted his wand to cast a silencing charm around the room so that he wouldn't have to hear his girls getting on with his brother more than they'd ever get along with him. Just as he was beginning the incantation, he could very clearly hear Bill say, "Girls, we need to talk about what happened yesterday with you and your father." Percy paused in the middle and put his wand down onto the table. "I'm sure your mum would agree with me when I say that it's important that your father know that you're supporting him. He's going through a really hard time."

"We know, it's just that…" Percy could very unmistakably make out Lucy's voice. "We don't really know what to say."

"Yeah, it's not like talking to dad has ever been easy," Molly answered, and Percy felt the same way when it came to talking to Arthur. Was it his fault that he wasn't so easy to talk to? The more that Percy blamed himself, the heavier the burden felt. He felt he might just be crushed under the weight of it.

"Is it really bad?" Molly sounded more like an eight-year-old than an eighteen-year-old asking that. "I mean I know that he said cancer—and cancer is…you know, deadly and all, but isn't it on the type? I mean…he looks okay. Most days."

"We don't know yet," Audrey's voice was warm and comforting even when he was in his bed. "We don't know anything about what his treatment plan would look like. What he could expect. Any of that. Your uncle, Bill, your father and I are going to go to one of his appointments on Wednesday to the gynaecologist. They're going to be able to help him."

"Can we come with?" Lucy sounded nervous. "Do you think…dad would know we're coming for him?"

"And that we don't hate him?" Molly added on. "That we don't think that-that…he's not our dad like we said before."

"Of course, he will, love," Audrey answered. "And he knows that it was just a shock."

Actually, I didn't know, he thought. Percy decided he couldn't hear the rest of the conversation after that. His eyes were welling up with tears again and he was bloody exhausted, spending most of his day crying about being ill. He waved his wand and cast the silencing charm, buried his head into the pillow and sobbed as hard as he could.

The days to the appointment seemed to go by quickly. How fast time went when you were facing down something you were dreading with all of your might. Percy particularly couldn't take it when he and Audrey were—err, having intercourse for the lack of the better word and she'd stopped in the middle because there were spots of blood on her fingers at some point. She'd went to take a shower, spent the whole time in the shower weeping and had insisted he'd put a water bottle underneath his arse just to soothe the pain. When Percy went to take a leak that morning, small little spots of blood came out with his—well, you know what he was doing. But honestly, what was he supposed to be doing with this? Was he supposed to be taking a record of such incidents and report it back to his healer? In front of his mum and children too?

The gynaecology clinic was Percy's worst nightmare. The second he stepped in, he wanted to run off as fast as possible. He saw Molly and Arthur sat beside the waiting area, probably there an hour before his appointment was supposed to be at. His mum was biting her nails, a habit he'd never seen her do. She'd managed to smooth down her hair, her mauve robes looked freshly made up and she was wearing a new pair of flats that he'd never seen her wear. She'd had a pair of studded faux pearl earrings on. His dad looked like he hadn't even been to work because he was too nicely dressed to have spent the past hour behind a desk. Percy looked down at his appearance, taking a sigh when he realised he looked exactly the same as always. Like a berk that wore the same three shirts on a rotation. He'd had his hair slicked back, his glasses had just been polished, and he thought that he glowed a little too much for someone that was potentially dying.

Molly got up and hugged him as soon as she saw him, probably so tightly that Percy was scared that she'd never let him go. Percy let out a sigh of relief when his mum hadn't burst into tears.

Bill walked out of one of the rooms and gestured for Percy to come in. Before he'd left, his daughter, Molly, reached out to hold his hand as tightly as she could. Percy looked down at her face. She gave him an unsure smile, and before Percy could even think about what he was doing, he'd grabbed her and hugged her so tightly that he was afraid that she might disappear if he let her go. Lucy quickly joined in on the embrace, and they held his hand as he walked inside the room. He could feel a few eyes on them, but he just kept convincing himself that normally, just one person went into their visit.

The clinic was a light purple with transparent curtains. Natural sunlight encompassed the room. Percy found himself sitting down beside the healer, and Audrey sat down beside him. The rest of his family stood up, which just felt strange to him. He felt like he should be offering someone his seat.

The healer had closed the door with a flick of her wand and charmed it shut, which Percy appreciated. It was a little daunting seeing how serious she looked. She had a sleek, black bob, and grey eyes. She was flipping through his file with her long, well-kept fingernails. There were posters that reminded him of the transgender clinic. RATES OF TRANSPHOBIC CRIMES HAVE INCREASED AFTER VOLDEMORT'S REIGN. DO YOUR BID TO REDUCE THIS BY… and a bullet-point list. He doubted if anyone ever stood there reading that. The font was so small that Percy felt like he'd need to break out his telescope just to be able to read it beyond the title.

"Percy Weasley?"

"Yes," he answered back.

"My name is Healer Stewart," she went back to reading his file. There was that massive report that was labelled a shocking URGENT, stamped with more red ink than one of his reports. "How are you doing?"

"I'm alright, thank you," he answered, feeling Audrey's gaze on him.

"He's in pain a lot," Audrey decided to say. "He's been complaining of heartburn every time he looks at anything edible."

"I suppose," Percy just shrugged. "It's not really an issue of pain as much as I'm just not interested."

Percy's ears went red. A Quick-Quote Quill was writing that down. Her eyes never broke from Percy's face. "That can be expected with your condition," she said. "I will able to prescribe you some potions to help with that. And we'll also refer you to a dietician too to see if it'll help with your nutrition. It's important we can help optimise that early on."

"That sounds good," Bill decided to say from the door. "A dietician maybe."

Percy could imagine drinking those tiny three-thousand-calorie-cup drinks and felt himself grow nauseated. If it were up to his family, they'd make him gain three stone in about a week just so they could feel better about themselves.

"Now, Percy, we need to do more tests for you so we can find out what kind of treatment plan we'd like to start for you," when he heard her say that, he nodded in acknowledgement. He was sure that everyone else would be rather gutted that there were more tests involved but he supposed that it was logical. "There are many types of ovarian cancer, but from the mass biopsy results we have, we've garnered that you have what we call an invasive epithelial ovarian cancer. It's the most common type of ovarian tumour and unfortunately, well, usually by the time that they're diagnosed, they tend to be more advanced than we'd like. See, these tumours grow from the pelvis and go to the abdomen and that's what may cause bloating, discomfort and indigestion when it comes to eating in the first place. And by the time they spread, their treatment becomes more complicated than we'd like. I don't want to tell you that to frighten you but just to prepare you…"

Percy obviously wasn't frightened, so she just continued. Audrey, however, was as white as a sheet.

"We'll discuss treatment plans after we know more about how much more might be involved, but generally, we need to remove the mass and the extension of the mass as much as we can. This may be difficult because sometimes, it has spread far into the abdomen, and it's sometimes impossible to have most of it out without damaging other structures. This will be done with wand-based procedures, so there will not be much scarring involved and any scarring involved can be easily removed by scar removal creams." Percy raised an eyebrow at that because it wasn't like he cared about how many scars he'd have after that. And neither did his wife. "Sometimes, we may give you a course of chemotherapeutic potions prior to this, and sometimes, we may give you after, and sometimes, we may give do both. These kinds of decisions are made by a specialist who can titrate these potions for you, and we will have a better idea of what would suit you more in the future. Because these potions do have very horrible side-effects—again, telling you this purely to prepare you—so we don't want to give you the side effects of a lowered immunity if it wouldn't actually help improve your survival risk."

Bill shuddered at the term 'survival risk', meanwhile Percy was just sat there like they weren't talking about him.

"Of course—" Healer Stewart was interrupted by his older daughter.

"Why did this happen to my dad?" eighteen-year-old Molly suddenly asked.

"Oh, love, well…" she must've realised that she was his daughter and the fact that it took her so little time to figure that out made Percy's heart swell. "Sometimes, there's a family history. Even sometimes very way back when we don't even know. Your risk increases as you grow older, as you go through menopause, the more overweight you are too. But those don't increase your chances by a lot. Sometimes, these things just happen and that's the most common reason for something like that to happen. It's nothing your father could've done that could've made him ill. It's purely by luck—or lack of really."

"Would he have gotten it if he had done the second procedure when…before?" Arthur had to ask.

Healer Stewart frowned. "It would've reduced his risk. And if he'd done the procedure that would've removed his ovaries too in the process, it would've…well, he couldn't have a cancer started in his ovaries without ovaries now, but it's not something that you could've predicted would've happened." She paused and then asked, "And forgive me for intruding, but is there any reason why you haven't done that second procedure?"

Percy's whole face went red. "Money," was all he replied.

"Oh." She looked genuinely sad for him. Well, how was he supposed to know that if he'd done the second procedure, he'd have prevented himself from being ill? "I'm sorry, that's very unfortunate. But hopefully, with the correct tools, we'd be able to see what we can do for you. There are tonnes of support groups too if you'd like to be a part of them."

Percy would not like to be a part of any support group. "No, thank you."

Audrey's face remained unchanged. "I'll take the details for those support groups. Just to know we can call them."

"Of course."

They lapsed into silence, and Percy found himself staring at the clock. He didn't want to be there. He had about a million things to do that day that didn't involve being told that his cancer wasn't his own fault.

"Are you okay, Percy?" Healer Stewart was looking at him rather oddly. "Do you have any questions?"

"Whatever you want to ask, sweetheart," his mum looked a little shaken. "It's alright."

"Yeah, dad," Lucy nodded her head.

Percy thought about this for a while. "Can I still go to work?"

Bill sucked in a deep breath. "Oh, for fuck's sake…"

He could practically see his parents losing it when he'd asked that. Even Healer Stewart looked gobsmacked when that was the first thing that flew out of his mouth. "Well, um…of course, you can," she said, trying to be supportive but looking like she was a little confused about what to say. "But I can write you a slip anytime that you like and give you a few days off… oh, and you'd also need to take time off for the procedure you'd have to do and the chemotherapy. I'm not sure how you could fit that into your lifestyle. They tend to be a little taxing on their own without a gruelling work schedule."

Percy understood. "I'll make it work—"

"—we'll talk about that," Audrey said at the same time.

They looked at each other. Audrey's face clearly said that she'd tie him to the bed if he even tried to go to work a couple of days after he had a life-altering procedure done. He was sure that the rest of his family would help her out. But he was the Head of Department for Merlin's sake. He couldn't just disappear on a whim, even if it were for a life-saving procedure.

"Audrey," Percy looked at him with an almost begging expression.

Audrey shook her head, looking like she was about to cry. "No." Then she paused as if to think about it and sighed. "Less working hours."

Percy knew that was as much as she'd ever give him. "Less working hours," he agreed half-heartedly.