Big Disclaimer: I don't own Nintendo, the Mushroom Kingdom, and/or Toad. I don't even own Toad's diary. So how did I get a hold of it? Like this:
Dekadeci: Can I please borrow your diary? I want to publish it.
Toad: Why is everyone borrowing my diary nowadays for the same reason?
Dekadeci: Same reason that everyone wants to borrow it.
Toad: Fine. First and last time I'm ever going to bend to you fanfiction writers. I'll let you borrow it. But can you please return it soon?
Dekadeci: I'll return it within a year!
Toad: You better promise that.
Dekadeci: I promise!
So now I have access to 52 weeks' worth of diary entries, a ripped-up page or eight, and maybe even an ink blot or two. Hopefully you'll get to see what an aggravated Toad really feels like when he writes in his diary...
Toad's Diary, Week 1
Week 1, Day 1:Yawn. Another Monday, another attendant duty day. Today, nobody is on babysitting duty, which is rather bad, as those babies can get rowdy at times. Really rowdy.
Anyway, my attending duties today went so far as to accompany Princess Peach in the races. Now, since it's still currently the Double Dash Grand Prix (though I have heard rumours that the DS Grand Prix is coming soon), that's easy. I'll just be in Peach's kart. Seat? Doesn't matter. I'm pretty good with the mushrooms and the steering wheel, after all.
What? You want the outcome? Well, we ended up in third place. Bowser and Petey Piranha won again, partially because the underwear-wearing plant stole my Star at a crucial moment of the race. Stealing it back wasn't worth it, though. Oh well, good times at the castle and some time with friends!
I also talked to Acamis, a fellow attendant, today. His duty day is Tuesday, so he'll be busy then. I asked him about the editorial comics he's doing for the Mushroom City Daily, and he said he has no ideas for one. That's odd, as he usually has ideas. I guess nothing really has been happening lately since Mario's incident with the X-Nauts.
Well, at least the babies are safe and happy. Yoshi and Daisy unofficially took up babysitting duty today, so I'm not worried. And Baby Luigi hasn't got his head bitten off by Chompy (his Chain Chomp) yet. That's excellent.
I'd better go to bed now. It's 11:00 PM and I'm getting really sleepy. The babies don't need me right now.
Week 1, Day 2:Mario is babysitting today. Good—those kids are very unpredictable. I like them, but I sometimes wonder whether I can control them or not. They really like their Chain Chomps.
Chainer (Baby Mario's Chain Chomp) is acting weird today. He's unusually vicious. Is he being influenced by Chompy?
This is also the day of the week I usually visit my family, so I drove to the castle and met Dad (also known as Toadsworth). He's not very happy about stewardship duty today—Edithbourne and Ellesweet have been at it again for the fifth time this week. Good thing they're not on duty today.
Anyway, I tried asking Dad about how the day was like (bad idea). This is how the conversation went:
"Hi!"
"Hello."
"How's your day today?"
"You really want to know?"
"Um…" (looks sheepish)
"Bargh, don't ask."
Yeesh, Toadsworth. Do you have to be so pessimistic?
I also visited Mom and Little T. (my little brother) today. As usual, Mom's eternally eager to hear from me and Little T. wants nothing about castle life from me. He really doesn't want to be Steward Apparent in case I die. Rohan (my dead older brother) would have been Steward Apparent if only he didn't die in that kart crash…but I'd better get back to normal here.
Being Chief Attendant and Steward Apparent (and grieving for your brother's death) is harder than you think, okay?
Week 1, Day 3:Luigi's babysitting today, and there's nothing to do. The babies are with Luigi, and, from what I heard, old Lu was nuts enough to bring them to his uncle, Cyrus Elmer Gadd (he likes calling himself E. Gadd). Here's what I heard from Luigi:
Apparently, Luigi took Babies Mario and Luigi to their great-uncle, E. Gadd. Now E. Gadd is quite the mad (as in crazy) scientist, so he took the kids through all his inventions. He also showed them Igor, his assistant, which might have been a big mistake. You see, Igor is one of Bowser's step-kids, so that might put bad images in the poor babies' skulls. Luckily, when they came home, they don't seem to be affected…yet.
I also heard from Luigi that his birthday's coming up next week. And guess where he's hosting the party? That's right…in E. Gadd's Garage. I never liked that board myself (and I'm not too good at everything other than the mini-games), so I might not participate. Mario and both babies seem to like the board, though.
Week 1, Day 4:The babies were with Peach today, so I thought I'd pay them a visit. At least the Chain Chomps weren't in the castle. Then again, Peach never liked her son and nephew bringing Chain Chomps into any residence other than the forest.
It turned out that the babies, without their Chain Chomps, were surprisingly well behaved. They didn't cause food fights, purposely spill their milk, or hit each other. They seemed more like twelve-year-olds than the five-year-olds they are now. (I seriously should stop calling them Baby Mario and Baby Luigi and start calling them Mario Jr. and Luigi Jr., but no one else would change their nicknames.)
At any rate, the babies are now at Mario and Luigi's home, and I think they're sleeping safe and sound. I think…
Week 1, Day 5:Daisy's babysitting today, just like she had for the weeks Peach was kidnapped (the latest kidnappings were not my fault). She's pretty good, especially after all those months of practice. The babies also seem to like her.
I got invited to another race as an unpaired driver, and guess who I got as a partner? Bowser Jr.! I actually don't mind him, if only he would stop spitting fire, clawing the seats, and having a severe case of bad attitude disorder. At least I don't have to use my kart—he'll just wreck his own kart instead, as we're using it. I also have some experience with driving that big bullet, so I'll be okay.
Sheesh, you want the outcome again? Well, I finally won! Bowser Jr. and I were nearly overtaken by Luigi and King Boo (they didn't normally go well together), but we won by 1 point! Bowser Jr. was definitely gloating to his dad after that.
Week 1, Day 6:Yahoo! I'm babysitting today! Just got to write that.
I'm currently babysitting today, and Yoshi told me that I had better race with Baby Mario for some reason in next Monday's race. So, I hopped into my car and tell the little tyke to drive around in the driveway. He only took five minutes to adjust from his Goo Goo Buggy, and then he drove decently. I think we will do well next Monday.
Poor Baby Luigi, though, also wanted to try driving a kart, so I told him to try Yoshi's (I asked the green reptile for permission first). He nearly crashed it into the fence. Luckily, the kart was unharmed, but the hedges near the fence pruned themselves. I think he's much worse than Baby Mario in terms of driving skills.
When Yoshi heard what happened to his kart, he wasn't too surprised, as Baby Luigi was always worse at driving than his cousin. However, he wanted Baby Luigi to drive it back to the garage. Baby Luigi did, but he smashed through the garage door in the process (the kart's still unharmed). Now the door's a total wreck. We had to take the money out of Mario and Luigi's plumbing revenue in order to pay for a new one.
I nearly ended up telling Mario and Luigi that the garage door was busted, but they found out for themselves when they arrived home from servicing a Paratroopa's sink. Of course, they were a little outraged. After all, it was the third garage door the babies broke in a month. Thank goodness garage doors are extra-cheap now…
Week 1, Day 7:Yoshi was babysitting today, and he took the babies to his family business. From what I got from him, the babies sure increased his shop's popularity. Everyone was asking who the babies were, so business was booming more than usual.
After Baby Mario and Baby Luigi arrived home, Yoshi asked me to come with his amateur jazz band, the Quad-Colour Yoshis, as a guest musician. (I can't resist any opportunity to display my musical skill with the piano.) I accepted, so we drove to Lavalava Island, picked up Yoshi's friends (who were also amateur jazz musicians), and arrived at the Jazz Spot in Lavalava City.
I barely made it through my piano part (and, from what I could hear, Yelle botched the rhythms on the drums), but Yoshi's alto saxophone solos sounded excellent. Everyone gave us a standing ovation. (I later heard from Yoshi that standing ovations aren't uncommon among the better bands.)
Anyway, we arrived home, and now it's 1:00 AM and I'm really getting sleepy. Hopefully, I won't be so tired by the race on Monday and Luigi's birthday.