Chapter Thirty-eight

An hour later Haley remained downstairs, Dan had left fairly soon after Nathan's outburst and although she had wanted nothing more than to go straight upstairs and try to talk to Nathan she had somehow refrained from doing so. If she knew Nathan as well as she thought she did then she knew that going after him before he had a chance to cool down would be a mistake.

Cory was still asleep and so she had nothing to do. She had tried flicking the TV on but nothing had caught her attention as she had found herself straining for any sound that might indicate movement from upstairs. But the house had remained quiet bar the light hum of the television and the occasional canned laughter that sprung forth every so often from the sitcom Haley had on.

Finally unable to bear the silence anymore she stood up and walked to the kitchen turning the radio on and singing along as she began the task of sterilising Cory's bottles.

Nathan paused at the top of the stairs he had been on his way downstairs to see her, to try and call some sort of truce. He knew it couldn't be good for their baby to be putting Haley under such stress and there was no way he was prepared to do anything to jeopardise the health of his unborn child. He grimaced as for what seemed like the fiftieth time since he had witnessed Dan and Haley's little moment the image of his father's hand pressed against her stomach replayed in his mind. As he stood there the faint sound of singing floated up to him and he almost laughed out loud at his own stupidity. Here he was worrying about Haley and their child when all the time she was downstairs singing along happily with the radio. Apparently his concern had all been for nought.

He continued down the stairs schooling his features into bland neutrality not wanting to give her even the slightest glimpse into what he was now feeling. She turned as he entered the kitchen the lyrics dying in her throat as she saw him standing watching her the way someone might observe a complete stranger.

"We need to talk," he told her without preamble.

"Ok," Haley said uncertainly as she placed the last bottle into the sterilising machine, "What about?" she asked.

"Well I guess we're not exactly short of topics are we. I think there are a hell of a lot of things that could be up for possible discussion between us but in case you weren't listening before I'm going to make it real simple for you. You and I are only living together for the sake of Cory and this baby that you are carrying. Brooke and Lucas obviously had some reason for choosing the two of us to do this together so we are going to respect their wishes, but that's it. The only other thing that you and I are going to be involved in together is our child," he said gesturing towards her stomach. "I'm not going to miss out on another one of my children coming into this world and I'm not going to let you cut me out of this. I'm going to be a part of that child's life whether you like it or not."

"Nathan I would never…."

But Nathan wasn't prepared to listen to her excuses or pleas for understanding.

"You know what Haley, it doesn't matter what you say. You try and tell me that you would never do something like that but you've done it before and I have no reason to think that you didn't have every intention of doing it again."

Haley opened her mouth to speak but Nathan continued before she could.

"Don't even bother trying to argue your case Haley. Unless you can honestly tell me that you would be here with me now having this conversation without the accident occurring."

Haley's mouth closed as she shook her head in mute denial.

Nathan laughed his disdain evident. "Oh really Haley and just when were you planning on coming back here and telling me that you were pregnant again. That I was going to be a father again. You know I thought after everything that happened before you left that maybe just maybe you would have some sort of understanding of how much that information might matter to me. I mean did you not see how devastated I was when you told me about Schapelle or were you just too caught up in yourself as usual to notice that maybe I was hurting too."

"Nathan stop it of course I knew that hearing about Schapelle hurt you but what did you expect me to do? I told you everything and you left without a backward glance. I didn't know where you'd gone or even if you were ok."

A bitter smile crossed Nathan's face as he heard her words. "Yeah well welcome to my world. Now you know how I felt when you walked out on me all those years ago. It sucks doesn't it? The constant worrying, the self recriminations wondering if there was something you could have done that could have made things work out somehow, the agonising days just waiting for the phone to ring and the sleepless nights as you realise that it's never going to. Oh but wait you only had to deal with that for like a day didn't you whereas I had five long years of it. But you go ahead and tell yourself Haley that you're the wronged party and that it all comes back to you. We should all feel sorry for Haley."

Haley looked at him stung for a moment hardly able to believe that this was the same person that she had been in love with for her entire adolescence and adulthood thus far. "If that's the way you feel Nathan then I guess there's no point in us even continuing this conversation."

Nathan looked at her stiff shoulders and sighed as he realised that rather than somehow easing the tension between them he had only served to increase it. This was not the sort of environment that Brooke and Lucas would want their baby subjected to and it certainly wasn't the atmosphere he wanted his own child surrounded in.

"Look Haley, obviously we both have a lot of stuff that we have to work through but I think for Cory's sake we have to somehow find a way to be civil to each other so I think we should call a truce at least for the moment. We'll do whatever is necessary to make sure that Cory is not wanting for anything and I'll do my best to control my temper but you have to start being honest with me. I can't handle any more of this deceit so if there's anything else I need to know you had better tell me now, I don't want any more surprises ok. I think I've had about as much as I can take."

"There's nothing else I'm keeping from you Nathan, I promise." Haley told him.

Nathan simply looked at her but Haley could see the doubt in his eyes and she was left to wonder if he would ever feel that he could trust her again. She knew that if they could not somehow regain that trust that there was no hope of them ever even being friends again. She needed to at least be able to cling to that hope because without that well she didn't know what she had left.

Hearing Cory begin to stir upstairs Nathan turned to go and get him. "I'm going to get him up, why don't you get a bag ready? I think we should probably take him over to the hospital. I need to see Lucas anyway and I'm sure you want to see Brooke."

Haley forced a smile to her lips, "that sounds good," she agreed. "But are you sure you don't want me to come help you change his diaper?"

Nathan visibly paled at the thought of what could await him upstairs. "Oh God I didn't even think of that. Yeah on second thought you better go sort him out. I'll get his bag organised."

"Nathan why don't you just come upstairs with me I can show you how to change his diaper and then we'll come back down here and make up his formula?"

"Wow," Nathan said shaking his head in disbelief "this baby stuff is more complicated then I thought. How do you know all this stuff anyway?"

Haley shrugged as she turned to him. "Books mostly, I did a lot of reading in the months leading up to Schapelle's birth. I just never got the chance to put it into practice until now."

Nathan opened his mouth ready to say something but Haley didn't want any platitudes from him at the moment. One day they might be able to discuss Schapelle honestly and openly but that day was not yet here and the last thing she wanted to do was taint her daughters memory with an argument or a barrage of half truths. Hearing Cory begin to cry she turned back to Nathan. "I think that's our cue," she said smiling slightly.

"Yeah," Nathan said with a quiet chuckle "I guess it is."

Together they walked to the stairs to go and tend to the baby that they had both promised to care for. Entering the room first Haley walked to the crib peering in at the red faced infant as he continued to squall. She wrinkled her nose at the smell emanating from him and reached in to lift him out. Cradling him close to her body she spoke to him softly. "Hey Cory, its ok. Don't cry. Although judging by the smell coming from you I'd say you have a pretty good reason for the tears." Suddenly without warning Haley pulled her hand away from Cory's back looking at it in distaste. "Ooh gross," she commented.

"Yeah," Nathan said coming to stand behind them "I'd be crying too if I smelt like that. What's wrong with your hand Hales?" he asked for the first time noticing the look of abject horror on her face.

"Here," she said to Nathan "take him but be careful how you hold him. Apparently I'm not as good at this as I thought."

"At what?" Nathan asked before noticing the brown stain now showing on Haley's arm. "Oh man that's sick," he said disgustedly "you've got baby poop all over your arm."

"Yeah believe it or not I am aware of that Nathan."

"Nathan looked at the infant that he was now holding at arms distance in front of him. "You better not even think about doing that to me little guy." He told him firmly.

Haley couldn't help but laugh at his statement as she walked through to the bathroom to wash off her arm and remove her sweatshirt. Walking back into the room she took Cory from Nathan and carried him over to the change bench. "Let's have a look at you," she said to him undoing the buttons on his tiny jeans. If there was one thing that you could count on above all others it was that no child of Brooke Davis – Scott's would ever be dressed in anything other than the height of baby fashion.

As she removed his diaper Nathan came to stand behind her, "Now that is disgusting he said vehemently. "Who knew such a tiny little guy could produce something like that?" he said in wonder.

Haley turned away to get some wipes to clean the mess off his tiny body but as she did she heard Nathan call out in surprise.

"What the…" he said as Haley turned just in time to see Nathan being hit in the chest with a stream of urine.

"Oh yeah apparently that's one of the hazards of life with little boys," she said sheepishly.

"Yeah well thanks for warning me." He said gruffly. "Now I guess I'm going to have to change my clothes too before we can go to the hospital."

Haley was struggling to hold back her laughter at the consternation on his face. He looked so funny standing there with the big wet patch on the front of his shirt and a look of such total bemusement at the events that had occurred.

"You think this is funny?" he asked in disbelief.

Silently shaking now with laughter she could only nod her head in response to his question as he continued to look at her quizzically. She definitely found this highly amusing.

"What could you possibly find funny about this?" he asked although she saw his own mouth begin to twitch as he asked the question.

"I'm just thinking about how it says in one of the books how we should be prepared for a whole lot of extra washing. I never for a moment thought that it would be us that would be having to change clothes a couple of times a day. I mean look at him Nathan, he's lying there so perfectly clean and contented and you and I look as if we've just about been through a war zone."

Nathan began to laugh too and for the first time almost since they had returned from Barbados they were able to simply relax and enjoy each other's company.