in total, this fanfic will have 2 more chapters (16, 17) and then an ending, which is literally 177 words. just to warn people, there will be character death, so...yeah. i think just skip 17 & 18 if you can. 18 is literally barely an epilogue. it's just a couple of sentences, but ends the story how i want it to.

i edited this enough that i think it reached the point where i can accept how it is. i'm not a big fan of the 'i'm going to die' dialogues when i write them (looove reading them though, of course.) but when i write them, i always find them cheesy so editing this was a nightmare. i don't know if i've missed much whilst editing but i tried my best, my last few edits were really just dialogue edits.

Momentary Illusions

Chapter Fifteen

Not the Lemon Sweets

Percy had felt like the weight of the world was finally off his shoulders. He had decided to back himself up, but he hadn't expected Audrey and his daughters' support either. He thought they'd be calling him a selfish arsehole right to the day that he died, so that was a pleasant surprise to him.

After he made the announcement about his impending death, the mood of the night turned sour.

There were murmurs around the table. George looked like he didn't know how to give up on telling him to do things to extend his life. And confronting the fact that he'd gotten sicker wasn't anything that his family could cope with easily.

Percy finished his food; his dessert and Audrey even pushed her beautiful Opera cake towards him. He'd cut that into pieces and tried not to wolf it down as fast as possible. It was the first time in ages that he'd had an appetite for food. At some point in the evening, he was the only one still eating and it bothered him a little bit that everyone else was turned off from their food and couldn't even pretend to enjoy the evening. He knew it was quite hypocritical of him, but he didn't want to come there to begin with and he was the one that was trying so hard to be as normal as he could. After the dinner had ended, his mother suggested they all head back to the Burrow for some tea.

He wanted to decline and apparate back to his homely flat but agreed out of politeness. They all headed back to the Burrow. His mother made him a nice mug of tea, but there was so much steam coming out of the cup that he had to wait an hour to drink it.

"I just wanted things to be okay," George finally said, very quietly, into the silent room. "I thought I was doing you a favour, making sure that you don't give up on yourself. I…I really thought that you had a chance."

The silverware barely made a sound as his siblings stirred in lumps of cream and sugar in their tea.

"I know you thought you were doing me a favour," Percy blew onto his mug. He hated doing it. It never looked professional and even in his family home, he felt like he was about eight when he did it. "And I kept telling you that you were talking out of your arse." He smirked. "And you dare call me Big Head Boy."

George laughed a near hollow laugh. "I know you kept saying that you were sick, Perce, but it just felt like…if they just took it out, I didn't see any reason why it would come back. With the chemotherapy, with everything, I thought…"

"You've always been hearing stories about people that survive. Thought you in with a chance," Ron agreed. He glanced back at Hermione, who looked a little sympathetic towards him. She probably told him the same thing. That he was very ill and probably didn't have much of a chance even when they've chopped half his abdomen out.

Percy rolled his eyes. "Your son was right, you know," he told George. "You should've read the brochure."

He always knew that his odds were dire. He knew it from the moment that the healer gave him that pitying look. From the moment that they said that they'd removed three-quarters of his abdomen. Why were you so aggressive with your treatment methods if not for the fact that that was the only way that they knew they could give you a fighting chance?

He watched his younger brother scoff. "Merlin, Perce, I'm scared. I don't want you to…"

"I know," Percy felt like he was finally making a breakthrough. They were finally, finally on the same page. They realised that it was not about convincing a stubborn, cynical man that it was worth 'fighting his life'. It was a bleak outcome no matter where they looked. But considering the tension in the air, he almost wanted one of them to break into song and tell them that he could still beat this no matter how dire his outlook was.

George then cocked his head to one side. "It's genetic? Does that mean that your...girls...?"

Percy's ears went red. "They'd need to be tested early," he mumbled quietly under his breath. He didn't want to think about that aspect. He supposed that Molly and Lucy should be screened incredibly early. The thought of one of his daughters becoming ill like that left him distraught. And like a coward, he was almost relieved he wouldn't have to see the outcome.

"Genetic?" Molly looked confused until she remembered herself. "Oh, Merlin! How could I have forgotten!" his mum looked flustered. "Runs in the family. I do remember. But it's not been in for generations. I've almost forgotten all about that because Gin and I both tested negative for it."

Ginny remembered too. "Yeah, mum and I had to go to the hospital for it. Neither of us…" Percy couldn't blame her. Who dragged their brother down for ovarian and breast cancer screening? "You're really fucking unlucky, mate."

"I'm aware."

There were a few moments of silence. Percy took a few sips of his tea. His mum still knew how to make his tea the way that he liked it.

"What…what are you going to do now?" Arthur cautiously asked.

Percy shrugged his shoulders. If you'd asked anyone what they'd want to do in their final days, maybe they'd give you a list of things. Percy didn't think he'd have as much of a list beyond drinking tea and having to genuinely say goodbye to his department. He'd been mentally preparing Audrey to take over, even though she wasn't aware of it. He wasn't even sure if she wanted that. They didn't have a proper conversation about it after all. "I haven't decided."

"We really should go on holiday," Audrey told him. "No shopping. We can go to all the boring museums you want to go to and spend the whole time fighting with the tour guide about their outdated information."

"Yeah," his daughter, Molly, beamed. "And eat all the weird authentic food you want to try."

Lucy perked up too. "We can go to boring seminars and totally stay there until our thigh sweat glues us to the chair." She was smirking, her eyes had that mischievous glint that he had come to expect from her mother.

"I can book you for all of that in Romania—with the dragon reserve experience, Perce," Charlie's lip twitched into a smile. "Have been easy going in and out. Lax portkey services, Perce. Not like your department—though I'm sure your department don't care about authenticating your portkey requests."

"I suppose," Percy could just imagine his daughters in the sweltering heat with pink cheeks as they complained. He did like dragons, but he wasn't as obsessed with them as Charlie was. But he did have a camera just filled with photos of beautiful wizarding paradises he'd been to throughout the years. Sometimes for work. Sometimes with his family. Meanwhile, during their holidays, his daughters bought expensive summer frocks they insisted they had to have but barely wore when they came back to England.

"Oh, you go off," his mum agreed. "Have a nice holiday. Go away for a couple of weeks."

"Anyone that wants to come is invited," Charlie grinned back at Percy. "For a life-changing experience. Perce and his museums and his libraries and his never-ending bloody book tours."

"That's rather nice, thank you," even Percy had to melt at the gesture.

Before Percy could realise what was happening, Charlie grabbed his cup from his hand and put it down beside him when it was just half full. Charlie took him by his waist and hugged him as tightly as he could, placing a hand on the back of his head like he was cradling a newborn infant.

After they'd had their tea (and a few biscuits), Percy, Audrey, and his daughters headed back home. Percy practically collapsed onto the sofa the second that he walked into the flat, and it took Audrey all of her energy to pull him to his feet and drag him to their marital bed. She took off his shoes and his clothes with ease. She put on his favourite pyjamas. They were pretty pyjamas, with white and red satin stripes. Very luxurious. But he bet he looked like a gnawed on candy cane. As she was closing his buttons, he felt even groggier than ever. He was falling asleep as she was buttoning his shirt. He could hear Molly and Lucy in the living room, talking about Molly's job perks and if Lucy could really buy something half-off if she went there.

"Percy," he felt her hand on his cheek.

"I shouldn't have said it like that," Percy finally said. Audrey deserved better.

"I knew that—we knew," she meant Molly and Lucy, "that if you stopped doing the treatment, that you'd…" her voice went low. "But we didn't think that it would be so soon is all. I just thought that we'd have more time."

"You thought you'd have more time with me being terminally ill?"

It made her smile too, as she laid down beside him. She placed a hand in the crook of his elbow, and he could hear her soft breathing. "You can sleep," she said, but it didn't look like she was going to any time.

Percy looked back at his wife, who looked like she would be up all night. "Yes, but I won't. I think I speak for us both when I say that it's been an eventful evening."

"It was," she agreed. "Eventful."

"Can you make me a coffee?" Percy asked. He held the small drawer beside him and pushed himself up to a sitting position. Once he was sitting upright, he felt like he could stay awake too.

"Yes, I can," she replied. "Are you really going to drink it?"

"Of course, I am."

"Are you?" she teased with a knowing twinkle in her eye. "I bet you five sickles that you won't."

"I don't have five sickles. You've taken everything from me. I'm bloody well skint!"

When Audrey had disappeared into the kitchen, he opened the drawer beside him and took out a packet of soft sweets he had there for a while. He opened the bag, the sickly smell of gelatinous sweets left him salivating. He could hear the kettle boiling. He could hear the sound of Audrey putting sugar cubes into the mug and stirring them. He could hear Molly and Lucy continue talking as they headed to their rooms. As they passed by his and Audrey's rooms, they looked at him, giving him an uncertain smile. Lucy walked over to him and placed a pillow underneath him. Molly squeezed his hand and they both kissed him goodnight.

Audrey came back when he'd started eating through his massive packet of sweets. He offered it to her, and she looked a little nauseous. "I think I've had enough," she said. "Are you going to be alright eating all that? I mean—you're not going to be upchucking it all at some point, are you?"

Percy shrugged as she placed the cup of coffee next to him. He felt alright right now. He couldn't predict how he'd feel in a couple of hours. "Are you sure you don't want one?"

"Alright," Audrey reached in to pick up a sweet.

"Not the lemon ones."

Audrey snorted and purposefully grabbed a handful of lemon sweets to cram into her mouth. "Hey!" he cried out in mock distress. Percy feigned a look of absolute shock and horror, and then went back to eating his sweets. All he could think about as he was eating them was, was this going to be the last time he'd have them? What if he went to sleep and didn't wake up? The prospect of death was always in his mind, daunting. One day, it would come. Soon.

"Percy—"

"Yes?"

"We have to talk about this. We have to have a proper talk because you're dying."

Percy did not want to talk about this.

"There has to be something that you want to say..." Audrey's eyes were pleading for more.

"You don't want to hear what I have to say."

Audrey flinched. "What do you want it to be like?" she asked. "At the funeral...at...after?"

After.

"Nothing. I don't want anything. You will bury me and forget about me, is that understood?" Percy said. He looked at Audrey with the sternest expression he could harbour. Audrey must have let out a gasp.

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Y-…yes." She was stroking his cheek. "I'll forget about you quickly. I don't even like you that much."

"Yes, well nobody does," Percy agreed. "Find a strapping, young bloke that makes me look like a right git."

"What if I want a strapping, young woman?" Audrey's voice was cracking just thinking about sharing her life with someone other than Percy. She couldn't even imagine how it would be like without him lying there beside her, breathing the same air as her, complaining about how much money everything cost and how he might as well roll over and die.

"Well, I don't mind that," Percy told her. "No competition for me. Better all around."

He never got to talk to Molly. He'd always known that she liked girls. Even when she was a sixth year, he'd always made it blatantly obvious that he didn't think that she should be having sleepovers. He found magazines of nude women in her dresser a few times when he'd been cleaning out that sixth makeup sample that she'd never used. He was sure he'd once heard Lucy say that "that Alice girl isn't even your type" when he'd just come home from work. Honestly, those girls could learn a thing or two from Fred and George about keeping a secret.

Audrey shook her head. "You know as well as I do that this is all just pie in the sky, Percy."

Percy let out a strangled exhale. "Yes, well…" he knew that his wife wouldn't exactly court another person near his grave. He had no doubt that Audrey would not get over his passing for many years to come. That was what left a steel rod in his stomach. Because there was always a chance that she wouldn't get anyone else besides him. "You're the one that asked."

"I know." She sighed. "I don't need another person in my life, Percy," it was like Audrey knew what was he was thinking about. "I'm not short of love, you know."

When Percy looked at her, he knew that she was saying the truth.

"You've given me such a fulfilling life," Audrey whispered. "Despite…despite everything that has happened recently. I know how hard things have been like, but I wouldn't trade what I've had with you for anything." She reached out and held his hand. He was starting to nod off. "Your coffee is getting cold. I thought you were actually going to have it this time."

"Hmm? I'm having it right now... just...after a moment..." Percy had dozed off without even touching the cup.

At around five in the morning, Percy very tiredly rose from his sleep. He knew that this was going to be his last day of work. He knew it in his heart after the revelations that came the day before. It would be short notice. He hadn't even talked to Audrey about how he wanted her to take his place. He hadn't even made arrangements for anything. He looked at his pile of crisp, white shirts but his heart wasn't in it. He didn't want to wear a crisp white shirt anymore.

He'd woken Audrey up on five on the nose, and she found him sitting at the edge of his bed, still in his pyjamas.

"Do you want me to get anything for you?" Audrey asked. "A pair of pants or…or maybe spell a shirt for you?"

Percy looked down at his clothes. He was in his pyjamas. He hadn't even brushed his hair. He had half-drunk the cup of coffee that was leftover from the night after he'd heated it up. He had found his slippers. "I've drunken the coffee."

"Yes, I've seen," Audrey was hiding a smirk. "Well done. Now, what are you wearing to work?"

"I'm ready."

"Ready for what? Another kip you mean? Because there's no way you're possibly insinuating that you're going to work in your pyjamas," Audrey was terrified of what he'd been doing recently. He seemed unpredictable.

"Who bloody cares?" he asked. He realised that he looked like a sixth year that practically had to drag themselves awake as he sat at the edge of his bed in a pair of pyjamas that were so loose on him that they were hanging off his hips. "It's my last day to work," he finally announced. "And well, these are quite a formal pair of pyjamas I'd say. No images of flying broomsticks, cauldron cakes or the like. I mean it's practically a full-on suit I'd say." Audrey stared at him for some time, but then grabbed the comb from the dresser and combed his hair a little bit but paused when clumps got into the comb.

"Actually, I think I'm really overdressed compared to the new temp that we've signed on," Percy added to his argument. "At least you can't really see my bodily cavities if I sit down for a coffee."

"You've been looking at the new temp then. Should I be worried?"

"Yes, you should be," Percy seriously replied. "She makes awful coffee."

Audrey laughed. The new temp came in dressed like she was going for a night in Leaky Cauldron rather than a stuffy office job. "What am I going to do without you?" she asked before leaning in to kiss him again.

As she turned away from the kiss, Percy reached in and hugged her tightly. Audrey suddenly dissolved into his hold and started sobbing into his chest. He held her for as long as he could, feeling her wet his perfectly fine and tidy pyjamas. In this alternate world where he was so ill that he was dying, things like crisp white shirts and doing what was expected of you seemed to be so…unimportant.

"Audrey, would you…" Percy dropped to his knees and grabbed her hand. He pressed his lips against it, feeling reckless and dazed. "Would you please give me the honour of taking over my department?"

This was a department he'd fashioned and looked after for years. It meant a lot to him. In fact, it meant the world to him. Audrey knew that. He could feel her nodding her head into his arms. "Of course," she replied. "I'll do anything for you. Absolutely anything." Her voice almost got to the point of desperation. "Just… just…"

"Wait a minute now," Percy looked at her in a shocked expression. "I haven't even sealed the deal."

Percy had taken a shiny golden seal from the pocket of his Ministry robes and placed it in her hands.

"Just… just go make us a coffee, please," Audrey finally said, her voice still cracked.

Just please don't leave me went unsaid in the air. He knew what she'd wanted to say all along.

As Percy walked to the kitchen to make them cups of coffee, his daughters, already dressed in their work clothes, swooped in like vultures and had him sit down whilst they made two impeccable cups of coffee. Percy was sure that if he ever lifted a finger to do anything around the flat, one of his three girls' senses would start to go into overdrive, and they'll have him sit down.

When Audrey had come around, she was wearing his crisp white shirt and a pencil skirt. He smiled at her. This was his new Head of Department, his very capable beautiful wife, his best mate in life, his partner through everything. His eyes were starting to water a little. He thought about buying her something on his way home from the Ministry. He'd thought about getting her a bunch of roses when he could still remember. He'd thought about getting her favourite Thai dinner from a restaurant that he hated.

They left late that day, about two hours late. Percy had been eating a pastry with Molly and Lucy, who had chattered about their day and it was such a pleasant conversation that Percy hadn't left until they did.

It was a dreary day outside, with more clouds adorning the sky than he liked. It was grey, dull and uninspired and it made Percy walk to climb into his bed back again. He was in his pyjamas and his Ministry robes when he'd apparated to his department one final time. They didn't know it was going to be his last day. They hadn't organised any glossy parties or had balloons in his path everywhere he went. They hadn't done so much as organised a card signed by everyone at the office. For his department, it was a normal dreary Wednesday morning when Percy Weasley had come into work.

It was hard to deny how sickly he'd become with how often he'd left the department. He wasn't really there much anymore to be fair. But just breathing the scent of the parchment paper made his spine tingle with anticipation.

Michael walked over to him when he walked into the office, properly looking pastier than he looked last time. "Hey, boss," he'd got a sad glint in his eyes when he saw him nowadays. He'd had a stack of papers in his hands, and Percy would give anything to be able to sort that out. But his paper sorting days were over and he'd have to accept that. "Looking sharp."

Percy raised an eyebrow at him.

"It's Percy's last day at work," Audrey grabbed Percy's arm and soothingly ran her hand over it. Then she leaned over and kissed him a little bit too tenderly and too publicly for him, but he'd supposed he'd have to let that one pass. Every time he looked at her these days, a surge of affection just overtook him. He felt it was likewise for her. It was like they were back to being in their honeymoon period where they couldn't get enough of each other. It felt like they were joined at the hip sometimes. Not that he was complaining. He had an eternal fear that he would die miserable and alone.

Percy couldn't help but smile at that himself. She'd certainly lightened the mood a little bit.

"Sure, sir," Michael looked as white as a sheet.

"You don't have to look at me like that," Percy crossed his arms. "It's not like your nan's come to visit." He then turned to look at his operation. The one that he'd craved by his hand, the systems that he'd implemented and employed. He extended his hand out and Michael shook it rather fervently, before pulling Percy in for the most half-arsed hug he'd even received.

"Good luck, mate," said Michael, as if luck would have anything to do with it.

"Hey," Oliver moved in on that too. "I've not seen you in that since you've been at Hogwarts." Percy's cheeks were pink. He always felt like they'd had a mutual respect for each other in their Hogwarts years, even now. He never thought that he'd have Oliver Wood work at the same department as him.

"Are you going to be alright?" he asked tensely.

Percy looked at him as if he was mental. "Yes, perfectly fine," he said sarcastically. "Expected to make a full recovery just like your ACL did." He watched Oliver flinch because as far as Percy knew, Oliver had about six knee reconstruction surgeries and was putting off using a walking stick. He was limping everywhere he went. The healers reckoned he'd have to get a knee replacement within a few years.

"That bad, huh?" Oliver gave a small smile. "You're not taking the piss, are you? You're going to…?"

"You can say what you want to say, it's not Voldemort's name," Percy even flinched nowadays long after You-Know-Who had gone and even Oliver gave an involuntary twitch. When his daughters saw him do that, they thought that he was being weird. "Yes, I'm going to die." He didn't say that bit loudly, but somehow, it had echoed around the room, and everyone had stopped tucking their stacks of paperwork away. Elora, who was passing by, looked particularly less cheery in her vibrant purple velvet headband and clownish red cheeks and blue eye makeup. "But well, everyone has to sometimes. Some earlier than others."

"We should do something," Felix decided to mention at the end of the room. "Come on, Percy. You're not letting us down like that. We need a…a massive office party with enough drinks to drown in." Percy couldn't think of anything he'd want less. He didn't even like drinking. Whenever he did, it was for the sole purpose of getting sloshed. "Or you know, a weekend in Thailand. That sort of thing." Percy's lips upturned into a small smile. "Going out with a bang."

"You should talk to my brother, George, then," Percy had no intention of going out with a bang.

Audrey, though, looked like she had other plans on her mind. "You know, it'll be quite easy to organise a party. We can even do it tonight," she'd said. That was his wife. All for doing thing as quickly as possible now that their time was limited. "And face it, Percy, you're a lot more fun when you've had a few drinks."