The Girl Next Door

Christine set her alarm clock half an hour early the next morning. She was out of the building before Erik had even emerged from his apartment.

This is how you deal with things – you just avoid them. You run away. A little voice in the back of her mind hissed at her as she made her way to the café. She was tempted to bash her head into a lamppost in order to remove the voice. Instead she chose to drown it out with caffeine.

With a chocolate croissant and a double café latte, Christine claimed their usual table and sat down to wait for Stuart. She touched her arm. There were purple bruises on the pale skin. He was so strong, she hadn't realised. She rolled down her sleeve and looked out of the window, waiting for Stuart. He arrived fifteen minutes later and sat down with his usual coffee and bagel.

"How are you feeling today?" He asked, kissing her.

"Much better. Ready to get to work and spend a day designing and advertising." She smiled. Stuart grinned.

"Any chance of meeting for dinner tonight? Or are you and Erik working again?"

"No. No, I'll meet you for dinner." Christine said quickly. He looked at her, surprised at the speed of her response. But the moment passed and he smiled.

"Great. I worry about you spending so much time with him sometimes. Should I be getting jealous?" He said in a teasing way.

Blood pounded in Christine's ears as she stammered a reply. Stuart looked at her strangely and she picked up her bag.

"You know what? I've just remembered that I've got a meeting with Firmin this morning. What time do you want to meet for dinner?"

"Six thirty? I'll pick you up from your apartment."

"No! I'll meet you at yours, I don't know if I'll have time to get home after work." Christine said speedily. She kissed him and hurried to the door.

Stuart watched her go, his heart sinking. Something had happened between her and that man. Christine was usually very good at hiding her emotions but now… now she was unable to cope with them.

Suddenly Stuart didn't feel at all hungry and he threw the uneaten bagel into the bin, leaving the café with dread in his heart.

"Christine, some of the Hawthorn people are coming in today." Firmin said. Christine knocked over her pencil holder and stared at him.

"What? Why?"

"To check progress, of course." He looked at her. "Is everything alright?"

"…Yes. It's fine. What time?"

"Eleven, be in the boardroom at ten to." Firmin said.

Christine watched him go and then forced herself to be calm. Erik couldn't try anything in her workplace, he wouldn't. She didn't need to be…

Why are you so afraid? The voice demanded. Christine chewed on her lip.

…I don't know.

Nadir and Erik arrived at exactly eleven, finding Christine, Firmin and Carlotta waiting for them. They took their usual seats and Firmin looked at Christine.

"Christine's been doing most of the work; I'll leave it up to her to fill you in on the progress."

Christine spread out the designs and explained each one briefly. She was horribly conscious of Erik's eyes on her, but every time she glanced at him, he was looking elsewhere. Nadir seemed extremely impressed.

"This is good work. The designs are particularly well done."

"You can depend on Christine." Firmin said proudly.

"I'm sure you can." Erik said quietly. Christine looked at him and he turned his attention to the posters. Christine bit her lip for a moment before saying,

"The radio advertisements are going to be recorded next week. I believe that the theatre is going to be organising that."

"Yes, that's right." Nadir said. "But we'd like someone to be there."

"I'll send Meg, she's good with that sort of thing." Firmin offered. Christine nodded.

"Then I think we've covered everything so far."

They all stood to shake hands. When Erik reached Christine, she didn't change the blank expression from her face, but shook his hand as briefly as though he were just another client before picking up her things, with not so much as a hint of eye contact. Firmin said,

"Will you both stay for a coffee?"

"That sounds wonderful." Nadir agreed and Erik nodded briefly. Firmin looked at Carlotta and Christine.

"You'll both join us?"

"I've got a lot to do today." Christine said. "Please excuse me." She was gone before anyone had a chance to stop her. Erik watched her go, regret eating at his mind and sorrow eating at his soul as he sat to drink bitter coffee with Nadir, Firmin and Carlotta.

"Would you care to explain the situation between yourself and Christine Daae?" Nadir said sharply on their return to the Hawthorn Theatre. Erik looked at him.

"There is no situation."

"The frosty looks and awkwardness between the pair of you would imply otherwise."

"I assure you, Nadir, that there is nothing between myself and Miss Daae." Erik said icily. Nadir eyed him.

"What happened?"

"Nothing that concerns you."

"Erik, Populaire Advertising are the best around. We need them and Christine Daae is a key part of our advertising staff. We need her. If you have issues with that, I suggest you sort them out quickly." Nadir said, his calm demeanour becoming tense at the unfortunate situation. He turned and walked to the office.

Erik went to his own office and sat in pensive silence. So many times he had gone over the previous night in his mind, replaying the dire incident until he had forced himself to sleep, with a little help from a bottle of whiskey. Words alone could not describe the regret he had.

He had had someone. For the first time in so long, there had been someone who had wanted to be near to him. The way she had spoken, the way she had described how much she had enjoyed being with him had overridden his common sense and allowed instinct to take over. He had destroyed all that they had had together. The sweet friendship of a person, the companionship of a good woman, the equality they shared in their music.

It was all gone. Because he had acted without thinking. Now she was gone, most probably forever. He could see no way of her forgiving him. And he knew for certain that she would never feel the same way about him. Even though she hadn't said it, it was quite clear…

Damn her!

Erik's sorrow and regret turned, in a flash of lightening to unreasonable anger. How could she? How dare she? To act like that, to say those gentle words only to throw them back in his face moments later!

Erik knew that this fury was unwarranted and unfair. But he could not stop it. He wanted to hit something, wanted to find something and drive his fist into it, damaging the healing wounds that only served as a constant reminder of her. He wanted to make her feel the way he did, wanted to shake her until she felt as terrible as she made him feel. To have this aching in her chest, this knowledge of unhappiness in her heart.

He wanted to hurt her.

The telephone rang and Erik glanced half-heartedly at the caller id. Populaire Advertising. His heart leapt into his mouth, his feelings a mixture of hope and of fury and he picked up the telephone.

Christine rubbed her eyes. She had half an hour before she had to meet Stuart. She supposed that she should go, although the idea seemed thoroughly unappealing now.

She just wanted to go home, curl into a foetus position and sleep for days, turn the whole ordeal into some fuzzy dream and go back to what she had had before.

But… what exactly was that? What had she had?

A boyfriend. A job she adored and worked hard at. A neighbour who was one of the best friends she had come across, one of the only people she had ever related to properly.

And now – a boyfriend whom she didn't love and never could. A job she would now face everyday with the knowledge that at any minute she may come across Erik. A neighbour whom she could never see again without feeling…

Feeling what?

There were so many questions. And Christine had none of the answers.

"You're still here?"

She looked up and saw Meg peering through the office door. She smiled weakly.

"Looks like it. I was just about to go though. Why are you here so late?"

"My home computer is dead and I needed to get some work finished." She looked at her. "What's with the long face, Chris?"

"Just my world falling apart." Christine said dryly.

"Oh, is that all?"

Meg plonked herself down into the chair opposite Christie' desk and said,

"C'mon. Tell Meg all about it."

"I can't."

"Tell her some of it using cunning pseudonyms." Meg suggested. Christine smiled and shook her head.

"Where do I start?"

"I believe the beginning is traditional." Meg said helpfully.

And so, never using Erik's name, Christine related the story to her friend, who listened with concentration.

"So what did you do when he tried to kiss you?" She asked as Christine paused to collect herself.

"I ran out. Well, I tried. But he grabbed my arm and sort of yelled at me that he cared about me and… and I brought up Stuart but he said that he knows that I don't love Stuart. And then I just ran out." Christine said slowly. Meg whistled.

"You've got serious problems."

"Tell me about it."

Meg considered her for a moment.

"Chrissie?"

"Yes?"

"…You've got to let go." She said softly. "This isn't about Stuart and Erik."

"I never said-"

"Oh, please. You're not exactly a mastermind; your ingenious code wasn't hard to crack." Meg scoffed. Christine sighed and Meg continued.

"This isn't about Stuart and Erik. This is about what happened before. You've got to let go."

"Let go?"

"You're so scared by what happened that you're afraid to even give someone else a chance." Meg pointed out. "Face it, Christine. You've got two gorgeous guys falling over themselves to be with you and you're refusing to get into anything because of the slight possibility that you might get hurt. I hate to break it to you but it's too late – you're already into something. Two somethings."

"It's so easy for you to sit there and say that!" Christine said angrily. "You never went through what I did!"

"No, but I was there the whole time, wasn't I?" Meg demanded. "I was always there; I was with you the whole time. I know what you went through, because I saw it. And maybe that's why I can speak so easily about this. Outsiders perspective or whatever."

Christine stared at her and then put her head in her arms.

"Meg…"

"Make a decision, Christine. I can only deal out advice. I can't tell you what to do." Meg said, getting to her feet. Christine looked up at her.

"What would you do?" She asked suddenly. "If you were in my position?"

"I'd clean myself up, go and see whichever of the guys I wasn't going to be with, tell them it's over and then go to the other one and get it all out. Men aren't psychic, Chris. You've got to let them know." She glanced at her watch. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Christine watched her go and then contemplated her advice.

Let it go…

It was true. She was being pathetic, letting her past rule her like this.

Erik had made the first move. He had given Christine a chance to decide one way or the other. And now it was her turn to be brave, to try and release the chains of her past. Perhaps she had burnt her bridges with Erik, destroyed their valuable friendship.

She still had time to save Stuart from more hurt than was necessary.

Since she was running late, Christine called Stuart to tell him to meet her in the pub. He was sat at a table in the corner when she arrived. She didn't buy a drink but crossed straight to him. He smiled at her, holding the menu in his hands.

"Hey. How was work?"

Christine didn't know what to say. She sat down and looked across the table at him. His smile faded.

"Everything OK?"

"…No." She said quietly. "I… Stuart, I need to talk to you."

His expression became resigned.

"Chrissie-"

"Stuart, I can't do this. I… I've been leading you on for so long now and it isn't fair." Christine said, forcing the words out. Stuart tried to interrupt but she held up a hand. "I've been so terrible to you. You've given me everything and I've given you nothing. I was only holding on to you because I was too afraid to be alone."

"This is because of Erik Destler, isn't it?"

His words felt like a blow to her skull. Her mouth opened but no words came out. He was looking at her a depressed look on his face.

"Isn't it?"

"Stuart… there isn't anything going on between me and Erik." Christine said.

"But he wants there to be."

"How did…?"

"Come off it, Christine, it was bleeding obvious!" Stuart said, growing angry but keeping his voice low. "I saw the way he was looking at you in the bar at the theatre! The way you're always spending time together, you said yourself that you have so much in common with him… I'm not a complete idiot."

Christine took a deep breath. How was it possible that Stuart had seen this coming and she hadn't? She licked her dry lips.

"I'm… he…" She stopped and tried to start again but Stuart interrupted her.

"What happened last night?"

"Last night?"

"Yes." He watched her closely. Christine swallowed hard.

"He… he told me that he cared for me."

"And?"

"I left. I was angry and I walked out and… and then I ran into you."

They sat in silence. Christine finally understood the full meaning of wanting the ground to swallow her up. She just wanted to crawl into a corner and die, anything to get away from these awful feelings. Stuart was staring at the table, his brow furrowed in deep thought. Christine wondered if she should speak. But what could she possibly say to improve the situation?

"I didn't mean to hurt you." She said, sounding like a child. Stuart looked up and then said quietly,

"I'm going to ask you something. And I want you to think about it and answer honestly. Can you do that?" She nodded and he took a breath. "Do you have feelings for Erik Destler?"

Christine made to protest but the look in Stuart's eyes made her fall silent. She closed her eyes tightly, thinking desperately. Stuart watched her closely. After several long moments, she opened her eyes and looked at him.

"I don't love him."

"I didn't ask that." Stuart said shortly. Christine swallowed hard.

"…I don't know. I don't love him, I know that much."

She was silent for a moment.

"But… but I don't want to… to be without him in my life." She whispered. "He… he's too…"

"Special." Stuart finished the sentence. Christine felt tears pricking at her eyes.

"But I was so angry. I shouted at him."

"You're a coward, Christine Daae." Stuart said coldly.

She looked at him in surprise. He had his arms folded across his chest.

"You couldn't be alone so you stayed with me. I'll forgive you for that. But you're so damn wrapped up in being afraid that you're using it as a security blanket. Why the hell won't you let yourself be happy? If you care for him that bloody much, just get out of here and stop pretending for once. Whatever happened to you before we met is over. So get over it." He said viciously.

Christine stared, shocked at his change in attitude. He shook his head in despair.

"I do love you. I admit that. But you refuse to admit anything at all."

"Stuart-"

"I think it'd be best if we steered clear of each other for a while." Stuart cut in. "It'll be easier that way."

"I'm so sorry." Christine whispered, the tears now threatening to fall. Stuart swallowed the lump in his throat.

"Yeah… me too." He stood, picked up his coat and looked down at her, frowning. "Don't be afraid to be happy, Christine. Happiness won't kill you."

He walked out. And he didn't look back.

Christine stared at the closed door for a moment before standing and walking out, with one destination in mind.

Apartment 5a of 142 Gaston Place.

The elevator rose slowly. Christine watched in dread and anticipation as the numbers flashed past, coming to a stop on the five. She stepped out into the corridor and walked down towards the two doors.

She went to her own apartment first, putting her coat and bag away and taking a quick glance in the mirror. Oh, why the hell did it matter what she looked like? Christine glared at her reflection and then pulled open her door. She moved forward and lifted her fist to knock on the door to 5a. The sound was hollow, yet full of possibilities.

Christine dug her nails into her palms, terrified and desperate. There was no reply. She knocked again and then ventured a call.

"Erik? Are… are you there?" She said in as loud a voice as she could muster through her nervousness. She knocked again.

And then she heard the door handle being turned. Her heart seemed to be jumping from her feet to her mouth in agonising motions. Christine took a steadying breath to face the man within.

But it was not Erik Destler who stood in the doorway.

It was Carlotta Guidacelli, a smirk on her beautiful face. A tight pain shot through Christine's chest as she took a step back from the woman.

"Can I help you?" Carlotta asked in a sweetly venomous tone. Christine couldn't reply. She didn't need to. Because Erik had emerged from the kitchen. Carlotta looked over her shoulder.

"Erik, I think it's for you."

Erik looked over and stopped in his tracks. Christine stared straight at him, the air being sucked from her lungs, leaving her head spinning and her chest pained. Erik moved towards the door and Christine took another step back. Carlotta slid an arm around Erik's waist but he didn't seem to notice. There was an expression in his eyes that Christine could not recall having seen there before, even though she couldn't name it.

All this happened in less than a minute. Erik forced himself to speak.

"Christine…"

But she had turned on her heel and was rushing back to the elevator as quickly as she could.

Sometimes it was easier to just run.

A/N: I am SO relieved that the last chapter went down so well. I was so unsure about it. And this one...? Well, I know it's all dramatic, but the drama is going to seriously tone down a bit over the next few chapters. I promise you that!

I'm also rather glad that you don't like Christine all the time. That's real life, right? You don't like everyone all the time. Even people you DO like can annoy you. So that kinda cheered me up a bit! I also promise that Christine's reasoning will become clear eventually, and both hers and Erik's pasts will come out. Just not yet.

Thank you all for the wonderful reviews! Last chapter for a while, so treasure it! And I know it's mean to end on a bit of a cliffhanger, but hey, it keeps you all reading, so there you go. Oh, and I wanted to say how surprised I was at how popular this story is getting! I was looking at the stats for this fic and it currently has over 13000. 'Cold, Cold Heart' only has around 5000! You guys are awesome.

A Very Merry Christmas to you all. May God keep you and your families safe (apparently he didn't mind me being stinky at church!)

Love

Katie