Chapter 1 - The Return

The revolution was over and Batista had fled the country. It took almost three weeks for Ford to finalize our retreat from Havana and in that time Javier and I danced as much as we could. No, our night on the beach on New Years was not our last, we did love dancing together after all. The need to be in each other's arms was powerful.

After my mother's disastrous attempt at the talk, she must have slipped the small package of condoms under my pillow one evening while I was out with my Cuban. Too little too late, mother. Javier and I didn't stop that dance on the beach.

The last night we were in Havana we were the King and Queen of La Rosa Negra, and we knew it wouldn't be our last dance. I wasn't trying to sound romantic or metaphorical when I told Javier that I was leaving with a piece of him. We didn't win the prize money to help his family, so even with the volume of love spilling from it, I didn't have the heart to tell him I was pregnant.

I spent the remainder of my senior year in Miami home-schooled by my mother, still dancing. Telling my parents was difficult, but as they had come to know Javier in the time before we left, they realized he was more than just a dance partner. With the new Cuban government settling in, my father set to work on his contacts within both countries to make a deal under the table. I was offered special dispensation because we lived close to Cuba and I was carrying the child of my "Cuban lover" as my sister, Suzi, called him. The documents stated that I had been in an already established relationship with a native resident.

So there I was, 6 months pregnant, boarding my final flight home - to Havana.

On my flight, I began to wonder how I was going to explain to this man that I'd fallen in love with in such a short time why I was already returning. Admittedly, my small 6 month belly would probably give away my little secret, at least according to Yolanda. Because of my height, a healthy 5'9", my slim figure hid what should have been a much larger baby bump.

What would Javier say? His mother and brother? I desperately needed him to believe that this child was also his, that I hadn't broken my promise as soon as I returned to the states.

I wanted to surprise Javier so no word was sent ahead to him. Instead I called our former housekeeper, and my friend, Yolanda, who agreed to pick me up from the airport and keep an eye on me. As we drove through the streets, I took in the sights and smells of home. I couldn't believe I was already back.

It was late evening by the time I'd rested from my journey and after a quick bite to eat, Yolanda set out our plan to surprise Javier. We would go to La Rosa Negra, it was after all a Saturday night and all of the real dancers are there on Saturday night.

Being pregnant in the summer in Havana may sound like hell to some women, but if I could find my love, it would be like a cool breeze every day.

That night, somehow I was still in heels, we made our way into The Black Rose and mixed ourselves among the chaos of the dance floor. The heat and the sweat swept away my worries with the beat. Not two songs had passed when someone in the crowd recognized me - I was the only blonde, white girl there - and shouted for all of the bar to hear, "The Queen of La Rosa Negra has returned!"

Shouts and calls went up around me and hugs came from every direction. Gradually I could feel the crowd parting at my back, silence hushing the dancers, and a pair of familiar, strong hands found my shoulders. Hot breath rushed past my ears as he spoke, "Katey, you have returned, and much sooner than we expected!"

In our haste to see each other face to face again, I may have forgotten about one small detail between us. Javier's hands slid from my shoulders down to my hips where they encountered so much extra terrain.

Strangely, I could see as the brightness of his dark brown eyes dimmed in an instant, not by much, but still noticeable to me. I felt Yolanda nudge me from behind and nod towards Carlo, who was whispering something into his younger brother's ear. After a quick nod to his brother, he dropped his hands from my hips as if a Cuban fire had hit him. Perhaps it did. "Goodbye," was all Javier had said as he followed his older brother out of the bar and into the humid night.

I turned to Yolanda who seemed to understand at once and suggested we return home, "Don't worry, Katey. Get some rest and you try again tomorrow."

She was very much a mother hen tucking me in with the covers pulled tight around my swollen front. I knew she was only trying to be reassuring, but I wasn't sure if it was helping. "Tomorrow you'll go to his home and talk to su madre, your child's abuelita." She squeezed my hand one more time before leaving my bedside, "Make sure she understands, and I'm sure she will. She loved you, if I remember right."

I turned on my side as she went to leave the guest room, "Are you sure, Yolanda? What if he doesn't believe me?"

With a parting goodnight, she said, "trust me, it will work out,' and she closed the door.

A baby kicking you inside wasn't exactly the easiest way to sleep at night, added to my anxiety about seeing the Suarez family again. I knew I couldn't have gotten more than two hours of sleep all together. I rose with the 5am sunrise and sat in Yolanda's little courtyard sipping tea and admiring the colors of the new morning.

Yolanda appeared in the doorway after an hour or so and dragged me to a shower in the back of the house to freshen up. "Now wash away those worries, child, everything will be alright."

I tried for a small smile, "Thank you again, Yolanda. Truly." With a parting squeeze of my hand and two towels, she left me in peace for a hot shower.

Unfortunately, I couldn't stomach more than a cup of tea so breakfast would have to wait. Less than 24 hours after I entered the country, I'd be entering the Suarez family home after five months away. Is it a big enough surprise to have me back? Well buddy, part of me is bigger than all of us.

Reminiscent of my first visit right after Javier was fired from the hotel for walking me home, his little sister Antonia answered the gate when I rang the bell. I could see the exact moment she recognized me and shouted one of the few English words she knew as she threw open the gate, "Katey!"

The sudden shout brought Angelica Suarez running from the house, only to stop dead within two feet of me. The stunned expression and silence extended for what felt like hours though only minutes before pure joy shone on her face and she embraced me, careful of my stomach.

She pulled back a little for breathing room, Mrs. Suarez still held me close as she gave me a small questioning look. With a slight blush, I looked down at my hand resting on my belly and nodded. Some looks transcend languages.

The two-time abuelita hugged me again and pulled me into the house where abuelo and Rafael, Carlo's son, were playing. As the toddler ran to hug my legs, abuelo gave me a light peck on the cheek and a knowing smile.

Thankfully there wasn't much talk needed as Mrs. Suarez sat me down at the kitchen table with a bowl of green beans to be snapped and a glass of lemonade.

There I stay into the evening helping cook or chop, anything I could do while sitting instead of standing on my swollen ankles.

Around 7pm, the back door slammed twice and I could hear Mrs. Suarez shout what I could only assume was an order for the boys to wash up as dinner was almost ready.

I took my place between abuelo and Antonia, settling in for whatever reaction was about to come my way.