CHAPTER 13: HOW BART DOES IT
Journal Entry 183574, Garsuss , Bart.
Soul Point. A barren no man's land forsaken by fate. I didn't like it much, though it kinda reminds me of home. But I was raised in the cityscape and the pill factories, not knowing how people like Hibiki would live out there, toiling in the wasteland. I assumed the gene people made them stronger or something, but that's no business of mine. I didn't count on experiencing it firsthand.
Except for dust clouds, the sky was empty and lifeless as the ground below it. The Nirvana crew were busy as usual, running about and setting up things. Parfait tells me she might try analyzing the planet's system. Why she told me and not McPhail remains a mystery. Or perhaps he already knew, hanging out around our resident engineer all the time. What are they always up to, I wonder? But don't ask me, I'm just the helmsman. I don't even know if the Doctor has a right eye or not. Ignorant Bart Garsuss , that's me. I volunteered to come down for several reasons, many of which I had forgotten when we 'touched' down. It would be nice to walk on terra firma again, but the main reason was I wanted to get away from the Pegasus system. With the pilots, they hardly feel the extent that our green friend influences their lives. With me, I can feel it all over. Frankly, that scares me. I can feel it in my head and in my body, which is how I "do" it, as Belvedere puts it. I'm moving the ship with my mind, something which takes a lot of my energy out. Still, I don't feel too changed by it myself. To tell the truth, I can 'feel' it talking to me, even when I'm out of my station. I can feel the Pegasus reaching into my mind and putting new information there all the time. A strange rapport is the best way to describe what we have, I guess. Is it correcting the mistake that is/was Bart Garsuss?
The situation on the planet was very bad, from what I could tell. The atmosphere was not doing anyone any favors, being barely sustainable. It reminded me of one time where my dad told me a story about one of our "air cleaners" (the Seven Old Men aren't too artistic, I guess) going haywire. Somehow we managed to save thousands of our workers from choking on their own breath, but I didn't think a whole planet would suffer from this. Out of boredom, I sometimes took short walks when nobody wanted my help. I guess outside of the bridge, nobody knows my name. I walked in on Duerro and Pai, who were talking to a little girl lying on a bed.
Noticing me, she called me in. She told me her name was Shirley. I fell in love with her that instant. The next few days were probably the happiest in my life. She believed all that stuff I've told everyone else about me being the Ikazuchin pilot or about my pending inheritance or any old crap I could dish out. She listened eagerly, laughing at parts she knew I made up. Hearing her laugh made the little boy inside me laugh as well, like when my Grandpa would tell me about his adventures fighting pirates and all. I can tell you that I would never see more receptive eyes in my life. I felt a release of sorts, an invisible burden coming off my shoulders. We talked about life, dreams and even love. She told me she had a simple dream: she wanted to sit on top of the roof of the building next door. I promised her that as soon as Duerro clears it, I'll take her there. In the meantime , she would be making me a present. What present? Secret.
The Boss Lady took many of us out the next day, to help Parfait figure out a way to control the atmosphere. Ed mumbled something about Lunarian terraformers in the region, but for that to happen we would have to wait a long time. And time was something I couldn't buy with all the family gold. I got a call from acting captain BC, ordering me to come back up. I wanted to see Shirley again, but I guess it couldn't be helped. I came back up via the DD (damn, it's big) and went through the usual routine. Once again, it was me and BC all alone on the bridge , but I didn't feel like trying (and screwing up the message , no doubt) again. Instead, I wanted to see Shirley' s present and hoped she was getting better. There was a little small talk between me and BC, mostly about the planet. She avoided almost all mention of 'that' night in Lunar 21. And for the sake of my reputation , I will too. Needless to say, we were totally professional that whole time on the bridge.
The next day, I squeezed myself into the drop schedule, much to BC's consternation. Suits me fine if she sits up there typing all the time. Is telemetry that hard? I wonder. I instantly went to see Shirley but found Duerro in the room as well. She was wrapped in pins and tubes, with machines all round. Her innocent eyes looked at me and a weak smile came out. I simply wanted to lift her off that bed and carry her out of the known universe. Duerro' s news was not good; her exposure to the atmosphere from birth was taking its toll on her nervous system. I couldn't and didn't believe him when he let out the punchline-there was only 10% chance of her survival. I was devastated. To make things more heartbreaking, she held a doll of me, sans hair. She said she had been making it for me, but had problems with a few parts. Then the machines went berserk and Duerro ordered everyone but his medics out. I was the last to be thrown out. I looked at the door and held the doll in my hand. I hoped she would survive, since Magno told us about what the Harvesters wanted with the dead on this planet. It's too gruesome to tell, but I can say this much- there are no cemeteries on this planet.
The alarms went off on my wrist com- speak of the devil. I could only hope McPhail would succeed as Hibiki shoved me into his broom closet of a cockpit and lifted off. The Harvesters sent out two egg carriers this time (probably the corpse gatherers) and that Red thingamajig was on it, with the Dread ladies. The cube pests were at it again, breaking up and joining up the Vandreads. I wasn't doing too good myself, not able to move the ship without letting them get a beeline to the planet. I wasn't going to allow them to take poor innocent people like Shirley and take their body parts. I wasn't. I suddenly felt angry, more at myself than the enemy. What was my purpose in all of this? Why didn't I get a snazzy fighter or bad-ass robot? Why was I chosen to become the guy who is told to run away all the time? Even Gascgone gets to make a difference! Here I was, getting shot at and immobilized ! God, why was I so helpless?
The Pegasus must have heard me. I felt a surge of energy between us, in my body. All my life flashed before me and I wanted to die, since that was what it felt like at the moment. I saw Shirley' s face before me, giggling away. That was it. I pushed back at Pegasus, screaming my lungs out. My mind was in all places at one time, and I saw what more I could do. I felt every single weapon on the ship energize and charge. Barrels were exposed and silos opened. I don't know if it was the colonials, Pegasus or even the Seven Men that built them, but my next command shaped the rest of my life. I fired all weapons at the two carriers, blue threads of light slicing through every enemy I could think of. Hibiki and Ed were swearing , even though I primed the threads to avoid allies. Yes, I could even do that at point blank range. It was a tremendous release , blue being the color of the day. I stood in my helm chamber, eyes fixed on the exploding carriers that I had single-handedly blown apart. I swore out loud: if the Harvesters ever touched this planet again, I would drag this ship back across the universe to fight them. The bridge had never heard this from me. Neither had I. For the moment, the universe and all its children were under my protection.
I rushed as soon as I could to Shirley' s room with the doll. But all that greeted me was a dipping sunset and an empty bed. The whole room was empty, as a matter of fact. I looked around, hoping I was in someone else's room. Duerro walked in, his stone face proving my fears. Shirley hadn't survived. For the next few hours I sat alone beside the bed, not knowing what to do. I wanted so much to complete Mini-Bart and play with her. I wanted to make Minis of everyone with her and have little pantomimes with the 'Bart and BC show' being the main attraction. I wanted to invite her on board to join us, since she was an orphan. I wanted her to visit old man Bart Garsuss, helping my aged self do simple things like walk or eat bread. But now, I just wanted to cry.
Parfait pointed to the spot where Shirley was buried, the first grave on Soul Point. It was a simple grave, with her name and birth -death dates inscribed on the small stone. Others were nearby, but to me there was only one. I kneeled on the stone and put Mini-Bart on its base. I couldn't hold back the tears any more. I had never seen anyone die or even experienced death before. I imagined the other Minis being there with Mini-Bart and only cried more. Loss was not something I did much in life. My heart sank so deep I wanted to become a tree and root right there, watching over her forever. Instead of a tree, a rock came to see me. Old Magno stood behind me, her face as warm and understanding as usual. She saw me crying and held me close. It was alright to cry for other people, she told me. Tears probably end up somewhere in the heart, changing into light that lets people remember each other even in darkness. My words, not hers. The old woman simply let me cry for as long as I wanted. I'm glad there are children and old people in this world…they see it all in front or behind them.
The next day, we set off. I proudly walked in with Mini-Bart hung around my neck. We were now mirror images of each other, down to my newly bald head. I didn't get to make hair for my little partner, being too busy making another Mini to keep Shirley company. That one had hair, just as she would have remembered me. I jumped into my console and set off for our next destination knowing Shirley would always be with me. Thanks to Mini-Bart and his cute smile.
End Journal Entry 183574