The Girl Next Door

On Sunday evening Erik invited Christine to apartment 5a. She came with only one condition and Erik agreed to it.

They would tell each other everything and it would be the complete truth.

Erik wanted to go first and Christine promised that she would tell her story the next evening. They sat, with coffee and freshly baked cookies, in Erik's living room and he was silent for a few moments as he collected his thoughts. Christine waited, sat in a comfortable chair and patient for him to begin. This would not be easy for either of them.

"I have two questions for you." She said eventually. Erik seemed almost grateful to her for giving him a starting point.

"Ask them."

"Why Carlotta?" Christine asked, looking him straight in the eye.

Erik felt his heart sink. Why that, of all things? But they had both promised to tell the truth and he was nothing if not a man of his word.

"Because I knew that it would hurt you." He said.

"..Oh."

"I felt… so terrible after what had happened. I knew that I was to blame and I hated the fact. It felt that it would be so much easier to blame you. I wanted to hurt you to make myself feel better so I chose the one person that I thought would hurt you most. And I don't think I can properly convey exactly how sorry I am for what I did."

"Did you… I mean… with her…?" Christine really didn't want to ask but she had to know. Erik shook his head.

"Nothing happened."

"Thank God." Christine muttered. Erik smiled and said,

"What is your other question?"

"Who painted that picture?"

Two excellent questions. Both ones that Erik was reluctant to answer. Christine was watching him patiently, her hands wrapped around her mug.

"She was… my fiancée." Christine's eyes widened and she opened her mouth to speak. But no words came out. Erik sighed heavily.

"Her name was Anna. I met her ten years ago. We became engaged eight years ago. And she died six and a half years ago." He said slowly.

"Oh my God…"

Erik settled back in his chair, feeling far more vulnerable than he ever had before as he admitted the next part.

"And when she died, so did our child." He said quietly. Christine put a hand over her mouth. Erik didn't look at her, gazing into space as he considered Anna.

"She was the sort of person who could do anything she wanted. Everything she tried, she succeeded at. Even if she wasn't very good at something, she was always satisfied that she'd at least tried it. She was wilful and… and headstrong. When she became sick, she refused to admit that there was anything wrong. The illness quickly took hold and she died on some cold hospital bed. She didn't even know that she was pregnant. I only found out afterwards, from a doctor." He swallowed hard. "To lose Anna was horrific. To then find out that I had lost so much more was more than I could bear."

He met her eyes.

"She painted that picture a couple of weeks after we first became engaged. Art had been something of a hobby for her."

"But… but why did you destroy it?" Christine asked, growing confused. Surely if his beloved fiancée had painted it, he should have treasured it above all things. Erik tried to think of a way to explain it without showing her.

"She saw me. All of me. I hadn't wanted her to see it and I hurt her because of that. I dreamt it and it… it reminded me of what I had lost. I was angry at myself and at her and it was the only thing of hers that was present."

"I'm so sorry…" Christine whispered, feeling tears pricking at her eyes. Erik smiled wretchedly.

"Six, nearly seven years of thinking about her. I left the country and was in Iran for a few months before Nadir found me and brought me here. And for all this time, I have been dreaming of her. But they stopped recently, after I destroyed that painting in fact. I believe I have you to thank for that."

He stopped for a moment before continuing.

"The only thing that she admitted to not be capable of was singing. And believe me, she tried. She practised so hard before finally admitting that she couldn't do it. In fact, she said I was a brave man for staying with her while she made such an awful noise."

Christine didn't know what to say. So she didn't say anything. Erik spoke again, after a few minutes of contemplation.

"I have many regrets. I think the greatest one of all is that I couldn't save her."

"You couldn't have. You aren't a doctor, Erik." Christine pointed out.

"I could have tried."

She paused.

"What do you mean… by that she saw all of you?" She asked tentatively. Erik looked at her slowly and lifted a hand to tap his mask softly.

"This isn't just for decoration. It is… my protection. My shield against the world."

"Did she care when she saw what was under it?"

"…No. No, she didn't." Erik said quietly. "And to this day, I still wonder why she didn't."

He sat, reflecting on what he had just told her. How strange, that it should come out so easily after so long of holding it back. Christine had taken down his defences as though they hadn't even been there in the first place.

"She loved you. It doesn't matter what someone looks like if you love them as much as she must have loved you." Christine said. Erik gave a tiny smile, no more than a miniscule movement of his lips.

"She must have loved me very much to see past this." His hand went once more to the mask.

"Can I ask you another question?" She asked quietly.

"You may."

"When… when I found you after you had destroyed the painting, I saw scars on your back…"

"You wish to know how they came to be there." Erik said. Christine nodded and he let out a hollow laugh.

"I believe I told you once that I didn't have a very good relationship with my mother."

"What?" Christine said, unable to believe what he had just said and what he seemed to be implying. Erik continued as though there had been no interruption.

"And I have also made it clear that I do not have a good relationship with God."

"I… I don't understand."

"My mother was a very religious woman. Almost insanely so." Erik said, his voice no longer filled with tenderness and regret but with anger and seething hatred. "To have a son born like this… well, she imagined that she was being punished for some terrible sin."

He moistened his lips and then said,

"The scars are grouped into threes. For the Father," He held up a finger, "The Son," another finger, "And the Holy Spirit." A third.

He tightened his hand into a fist. "Amen."

Christine bit back a gasp. Erik looked at her.

"But it wasn't just her, Christine. She belonged to a group of people. Some intense Christian sect. They made it a regular… activity. They believed that by punishing the Devil's Child they would be forgiven for their sins."

It had been so many years ago but still Erik could remember the chanting, the lines of people that were waiting to inflict their sins on his body. After the first few times he had stopped begging for mercy. They would not grant it to him.

"Through the punishment of my flesh, their souls were saved." He said broodingly.

"I… that's… how could she?"

"The son of a religious woman, born with the face of a demon. What else could she do, other than pay a penance?" Erik said calmly.

"That is disgusting." Christine spat angrily.

"And that is the reason why I have never felt the need to worship a Higher Being. What sort of God would allow that practise?" Erik said. "But I prayed for the first time in my life on December 24th of last year. Do you remember why?"

"…I told you to."

"Yes."

"Erik, I'm so sorry." She whispered, appalled at herself for inflicting that on him. "I made you… after what they did…"

"Please don't be sorry. You were right. I found peace that night." Erik said softly. "I made peace with Him."

A tear escaped the rim of Christine's eye and she sniffed, fighting back further tears.

"Sorry. I just… it's so unfair. You didn't deserve to suffer like that." She said, her voice constricted by the lump in her throat. Erik watched as another tear escaped.

Part of him was so desperate to cross over and pull her into his arms, to kiss those tears away and let everything out whilst they held each other. But he didn't. Instead he pulled a clean handkerchief from his pocket and handed it to her. She dabbed at her eyes with it before saying,

"It seems like nothing has gone right for you. And you deserve so much goodness."

"You think so? I have always felt that a lot of it was justified."

"By what? What justifies a mother beating her son? Or the death of someone you love? There is nothing to justify that, Erik." Christine said angrily.

They were both silent. Christine looked across at Erik and said,

"I want to see your face."

"No."

"Listen to me…" She got out of her chair and knelt in front of him, tears still staining her face. Erik felt his hands begin to burn as she took them in her own tiny palms. "You are good. You have done nothing in your life to deserve what happened. There is no face on earth that could validate what has happened to you, Erik."

She looked him in the eyes.

"I want to see you. You. Not the mask."

"Christine-"

"Shh." She reached up and grasped the edge of the mask. Erik caught her wrists.

"Not yet." He said softly.

"What?"

"Not yet… tomorrow. When everything is out, when we've both told everything. Then… if you still wish it, I shall show you."

Christine considered this and then nodded. It was a fair bargain. If he was to bare his soul, she should first bare hers. She lowered her hands but Erik's hands slid up to grasp hers as they fell into his lap. Erik watched as she looked from their hands to his face.

"Christine… I don't want you to say anything now and I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable. But it is important to me that you know that everything I said that night was the truth." He said tenderly. Christine didn't say anything.

She looked back at his hands and then lifted them to her face, holding them against her cheeks as still more tears slipped from her eyes. The wet warmth of them on his fingers almost broke him there and then. He fought inwardly to control himself.

After a moment, Christine released his hands. She laughed feebly.

"Sorry, I… I got them all wet…"

"It's fine." Erik said quietly. Christine wiped her cheeks, a little embarrassed at herself.

"God, if this is what I'm like in your turn, what am I going to be like tomorrow?" She said. Erik didn't reply and she looked at him.

"I think I'm going to go and… well, collapse in a heap."

"Understandable."

"I'll see you tomorrow?"

"I can say with some certainty that you will. Nadir and I are paying a visit to Populaire. Hannibal is a go-ahead and we wish to brainstorm ideas." Erik said. Christine smiled.

"Good. I mean… yeah."

He accompanied her to the door and she stopped as he opened it.

"So… tomorrow."

"Tomorrow." He repeated. Repeating was safe. It didn't involve emotional trauma for the most part. Christine steeled herself and then slid her arms around him for the briefest moment, hugging him tightly before disappearing into her own apartment. Erik watched her go and then closed the door. He reached up and touched the mask yet again.

Tomorrow…

Christine went into the bathroom and began to run water into the bathtub. She dribbled some bubble bath liquid under the tap and watched as the water foamed into white bubbles. Slowly, she began to undress, turned off the taps and stepped into the hot water. It was almost too hot and she bit her lip as her skin accustomed to the heat. She sank into the water and closed her eyes and she went over everything that Erik had told her.

Why? Why had all those horrible things happened to him? What could his face possibly look like under that mask to make what had happened conceivable? Christine looked at the silver cross that was lying on the surface with her watch and earrings. She reached across and picked it up, examining the cross.

How could this symbol have brought him so much pain? What mother could take this to mean what Erik's mother had?

Christine dropped the cross back onto the shelf and ducked her head under the water. She whipped her wet hair back out of her face, sending droplets across the bathroom. She wiped her eyes and glanced at the bathroom door. Cat was sat outside. He refused to enter a room where water was so readily available. Christine watched him for a moment and then reached for her towel, pulling the plug and allowing the water to spiral into the darkness.

"Christine, Sorelli, Carlotta and Meg, we've got a meeting with the Hawthorn at ten. Be in the boardroom at ten to." Firmin called as he rushed past to sort out a drama in processing. They all nodded from their separate points and Meg looked at Christine.

"Did you know about this?"

"Yes."

"And?"

"And what?" Christine asked, pencilling a design onto a piece of blank paper. Meg sighed.

"And what's going on with you two?"

"…I don't know. Please don't ask questions." Christine said tiredly. She was exhausted, physically and emotionally. Sorelli gave her a one-armed hug.

"Cheer up. It could be worse."

"Things aren't bad. They're just… stressful." Christine said quietly. She looked at Sorelli. "How are you feeling?"

"Got my first morning sickness today. Boy, was that a whole load of no fun." Sorelli said, rolling her eyes. "But as long as it sticks to the morning, I can handle it. If I have to start dashing into the office toilets at random times in the day I'm going to get annoyed."

"It only lasts for the first few months." Meg said. "And then you get all the crazy cravings!"

"You know, I have been wanting a tuna fish sandwich." Sorelli grinned. "But I want those all the time anyway. I love tuna."

Christine glanced at her watch.

"Well, we've got fifteen minutes until the meeting. I'm going to finish off this last bit of editing and I'll meet you in the boardroom."

"OK." Meg said. "Keep smiling, OK?"

"Sure. But you might want to tell Sorelli that." Christine said, nodding to their friend who had gone rather pale and was stumbling towards the bathroom.

Carlotta, apparently, had not been informed that Erik was back. So when he and Nadir entered the boardroom, Christine glanced at her to find her staring at the masked man. They all sat down and Firmin said,

"A new opera, Hannibal, I believe. I'll let Mr Khan and Mr Destler give details."

Nadir proceeded to give a brief outline of the plot and hand out folders with all the details, pictures and information that they would need. Christine glanced through the folder and found a list of the music that was performed. Her eyes fell upon a particular song and she spoke before she could stop herself,

"Think of Me?"

"Ah yes, Erik decided to put that piece in on Saturday. It was only written recently." Nadir said. Christine looked at Erik and saw a very slight smile on his face - almost self-satisfied. She returned the smile and looked back through the folder.

There was a knock at the door and Sorelli came in, looking a little worse for wear.

"Sorry I'm late." She said, slipping into her chair. Firmin looked at her in concern.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." She smiled, taking a folder. Nadir smiled at her.

"I believe I should offer my congratulations."

"Thanks Mr Khan." Sorelli beamed. Christine smiled at her and passed a bottle of water. As she sipped it, Christine asked the two men,

"Do you need the full works again?"

"Of course." Nadir said and passed her a sheet. "A list of requirements. Programmes and advertising, as usual. But we thought we might ask if you could make up a few different designs, as you did with the Heaven and Hell concert. We found that advertising in different designs brought more attention to the theatre."

"That's not a problem." Christine said and looked at Firmin. "Richard, I'd like to get Jammes involved on this project. She's been working solitarily so far and I think she could bring a lot to this."

"If you think it's a good idea, by all means see what she can do." Firmin agreed.

With business completed, Firmin invited them for coffee. Sorelli excused herself, saying the smell was making her nauseous. They put the business away and Firmin engaged Nadir in conversation about the success of the Heaven and Hell concert. Christine went over to the window to open it. The room was horribly stuffy and warm. She looked around and saw Erik rising to join her. But Carlotta moved into his path.

"Mr Destler, I didn't know you were back." She smiled beatifically.

"I only returned on Friday evening."

"How was Paris?" She asked.

"Productive."

"I was hoping you'd come back soon. I was rather eager to see if you'd care to go for dinner sometime, pick up where we left off before you had to leave…" She said, clasping her hands coyly behind her back in an effort to seem sweet and appealing.

"Thank you for the offer, but no." Erik said calmly and stepped past her towards Christine. Meg let out a snort at the horror-struck look on Carlotta's face, which she hastily turned into a coughing fit.

Christine turned back to the window, smiling helplessly as Erik joined her. Carlotta cast her a foul glance before moving off to talk with Firmin and Nadir, positioning herself so that she had a clear view of Erik and Christine. Both of whom were ignoring her.

"What made you put Think of Me in there?" Christine asked curiously. Erik shrugged.

"It's a good song. I didn't intend to put it in there. Consider it a dedication for all of your hard work. One of the perks of the job."

"That's an impressive perk." Christine pointed out. "Most people just get wine, or chocolates."

"I sent champagne last time. How does one one-up on expensive champagne?" Erik asked. Christine grinned.

"That's a good point."

"Of course, if you'd prefer wine or chocolates-"

"No." Christine said quickly. "No, having my own song is good too."

Erik smiled slightly.

"Then we have nothing to debate." The coffee arrived and they all helped themselves. Christine dropped a lump of sugar into her cup and began to stir it. She lifted it to take a sip as Erik commented on how he wanted one of the designs done but Carlotta 'accidentally' knocked into Christine, spilling hot coffee down her white shirt. Christine swore loudly, as the boiling water scalded her skin and she dropped her own cup. It hit the floor and shattered, sending more coffee onto the ground. Tears spring to Christine's eyes as the pain set in. Erik turned to Nadir swiftly.

"A cold, damp towel." Meg went running off and returned moments later. Carlotta stood a little back, her eyes a little too widely innocent and a hand over her mouth.

Meg returned and passed the cold towel to Erik. He pressed it against Christine's shirt, a little too aware of exactly where he was holding it. Christine gritted her teeth and Firmin bent over her.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah…" Christine hissed through her teeth.

"Carlotta, fetch the first aid kit." Firmin ordered. Carlotta looked remarkably unimpressed at being told what to do but flounced away. She returned with the box and Meg said,

"I'll take Christine to the ladies. I don't think it's a good idea for her to be taking her shirt off in a roomful of men."

"Ah, yes, of course." Firmin blustered.

Once encased safely in the ladies room, Christine took off her shirt and winced at the bright red patch on the left side of her chest, just below the shoulder and neck. Meg rooted around in the medical box.

"Here's some antiseptic cream. I think we can safely say that you'll live. The shirt on the other hand…" Meg glanced at the large brown stain. "We may have to say goodbye to it."

"What am I going to do? I can't wander around the office for the rest of the day in just my skirt and bra!"

"Erik might not object." Meg sniggered and Christine pinched her. She scowled. "Hey, I'm helping you here! Hold still." She rubbed on some of the antiseptic cream and Christine winced.

"Ouch."

"Sorry." Meg muttered. "Anyway, I saw all the flirting between you two."

"… I'm going to tell him everything tonight." Christine said quietly.

Meg looked at her in surprise.

"Everything? As if in-"

"Everything. Yes." Christine took a deep breath. "He told me about his past last night. Mine seems like nothing compared to what he went through."

"Jesus, that has to have been on traumatic childhood to beat yours."

"It was."

She didn't say anything further. She had no right to say anything. The door to the ladies opened and Sorelli came in with a spare shirt.

"Here, Christine. I was going to the doctors after work and I brought a spare shirt in case I had time to change beforehand. But I'd say that your need is greater than mine right now. What happened exactly?"

"Carlotta."

"Ah." It was explanation enough. Christine pulled the shirt on and Sorelli grinned. "Well, it's little big in some areas."

"Stop showing off." Christine muttered, tugging at the shirt.

"And don't they get bigger during pregnancy?" Meg said. Sorelli rubbed her hands together.

"Great! You can have some of my old shirts if you want, Meg, yours will probably fit."

Christine glared at them both and they both laughed.

"Don't worry, Christine. Yours are nice too. I'll bet Erik likes them." Meg teased. Christine rather wanted to slap her a little bit.

Erik and Nadir were still there when the three women emerged from the bathroom. Firmin went to Christine.

"Are you alright? Perhaps you should see your GP…"

"It's fine. Just a little sore." Christine assured him.

"If you're sure." Firmin said. Erik looked at Christine and she smiled briefly.

"I feel a little silly right now."

"It's no laughing matter." Nadir said firmly. "Burns like that can be quite serious."

"Well, I'm fine. Embarrassed, for the most part, but I'm sure it was an accident." Christine said. Erik lifted an unconvinced eyebrow but, diplomatically, chose not to voice his opinions.

"Erik, we really should get back to the theatre and see how rehearsals are going." Nadir said.

"Very well." Erik said, pulling his coat on. Firmin went to shake hands with Nadir and Erik took the opportunity to move closer to Christine. "I shall see you this evening."

"Yes." She said. Erik considered her for a moment and then placed a hand on her shoulder for the briefest of moments before following Nadir out.

Meg appeared at her elbow.

"Oh yeah. He wants you."

Christine proceeded to dig aforementioned elbow into Meg's ribs.

Erik walked swiftly back to Gaston Place after work. He was keen to hear what Christine had to say. He wanted to know what had happened in her past to bring her to this place. To know what had occurred to mould her into the person that she was now.

Only after everything was out, once they had bared their souls to each other, could anything happen between them. He now knew that what he felt was requited, that the next time he kissed her, she would not run. Something unspoken had passed between them and it was clear what would happen next.

And Erik longed for it. He wanted to start anew. He wanted to leave behind the memories. Man could not dwell forever on what he could not possibly have. Erik wanted to leave it, not to forget, but to move on to this wondrous new life that was lying for him to reach out and take. He knew that with Christine Daae, he could be happy.

It had been so long since he had been able to claim that he was happy.

He walked across the car park to the door of Gaston Place and found someone was waiting outside. Cat was sat some way off, next to a bush and was glaring at the strange for taking his place. When he saw Erik, Cat followed him to the door, recognising him. The stranger pressed the intercom button again. Erik caught sight of the button.

It was for apartment 5b. He paused and looked at the man. He was probably a few years older than Christine, much younger than himself. His blonde hair was tied into a stylish ponytail and he had bright blue eyes. He caught sight of Erik and grinned with a charming smile.

"Do you live here?"

"I do." Erik replied guardedly. The guy scratched his head and said,

"I don't suppose you know Christine Daae, do you?"

"…Yes, I do."

"Fantastic, do you know when she's due back?"

"Any minute now." Erik said, glancing at his watch. His heart had turned to stone and was swiftly sinking. The man was clutching a bunch of flowers and offered his hand to Erik.

"Raoul de Chagny."

"Erik Destler." Erik replied, dropping his hand.

Raoul leant back against the wall, unconsciously putting himself out of sight of the path and at that moment Christine turned the corner. Cat instantly set off towards her and Christine bent down to pick him up. She moved swiftly to the door, seeing Erik.

"Hi." She said, almost breathlessly. But before Erik could return the greeting, Raoul tapped her shoulder.

"Hey Christine."

She turned and took a step back instantly. Erik saw that her face had gone strangely pale. Raoul grinned at her.

"How are you doing?"

"What are you doing here?" Christine said, apparently in shock. Erik looked from one to the other, not liking the situation at all.

Raoul let out a slight laugh.

"Come on, Chris. Haven't you even got a 'hello' for your husband?"

A/N: Mwahahaha.

And that's all I have to say.