Kim sat at her desk and tried to read her emails but they all just blurred into one. It was hard to concentrate so she just gave up and jumped up to make herself a coffee instead, her fourth for the day, which was alarming because it was barely eight and no doubt that would come back to bite her later.

The buzz of the gate and footsteps on the stairs pulled her out of her daze, she had felt like she had been walking around with her head in a bucket for days. Antonio stopped by her desk and tapped lightly. "Can we talk?" he pointed to his office.

Antonio had been watching her and he didn't like what he had seen the past week. She was a bloody good cop and had been for a long time, she was less hot headed than the rest of them and that bought a good balance to the team. Things rarely threw her off but something had lately, big time. Even when Steve was at his worst Kim never let it affect her work and he wasn't the only one that noticed. Platt had commented about how off she seemed and she had started using the back entrance again. She closed the door behind her. "You okay Burgess?" Indicating that she could sit.

"Not really." She pressed her hands together tightly and squeezed them between her thighs. "You remember that case, that FEDS case." Of course he remembered, they all did. It was a black cloud that always hung over this place and they were reminded of it every time they walked through the front doors of the District where Adam's Memorial stone smacked them in the face. It had taken Kim a long time to walk through those doors; she had used the back entrance for months. The day they unveiled it still haunted them, Platt and Atwater both catching Kim as she crumpled.

That day, at Molly's where they all gathered for a drink in Adam's memory afterwards she told them that she was pregnant with Adam's child and every person in the bar cried with her.

"Al got a call about it a couple of weeks ago." She sucked in a deep breath but it did nothing to stop the shake in her voice. "On the weekend I went and met Adam."

"Adam who?" he dropped his pen on his desk as he gaped at her. "Ruzek?"

"Yes."

"Burgess, what are you talking about?"

"Sarge, Adam's alive. He's been in witness protection for the past nine years."

"Hang on." Antonio rubbed his hand across his forehead, for a brief moment he thought he'd heard incorrectly. "What do you mean?" Standing up suddenly and came and sat next to Kim, slipping an arm around her shoulders. "What? How?"

"It's complicated, but that case wasn't all above board. He was made, someone ratted him out and it was the only way out."

"We looked into in from every angle."

"I know. I have the file that Adam had, you can read it." She had read it a hundred times. The first time even the sight of his handwriting sent her spinning. Running her fingers over it as if she could feel him, why couldn't she feel him?

Atwater was surprised to see Kim in their boss's office and the conversation looked intense. "What's up in there?" he nodded at Halstead but he was just as in the dark as anyone. Antonio had come to him yesterday and asked him if Burgess was okay. He knew that she wasn't but every time he asked she blew him off, he figured it had something to do with Steve but even when that was at it's worse she wasn't like this.

Antonio benched her for the day and in all honesty at any other time she would have protested but not today. They called Platt up and Antonio stood next to Kim as she nervously addressed her work colleagues. Just because she kept saying it didn't make it seem any more real. "Al called me a couple of weeks ago about an old case, about that case." She didn't need to elaborate, the look on her face as well as Antonio's let them know exactly what case she was talking about. "He'd taken a call from someone in Detroit. On Saturday I went and saw Adam Ruzek."

"Hold up?" Halstead looked confused as Kim sent a photo to their whiteboard from her phone, they had definitely moved with the times. It was a photo of Adam taken on the weekend; they had taken it like a hostage photo with proof of the date. While they laughed about it at the time it was a little awkward that they both agreed that if they didn't people wouldn't believe it. He was older but most definitely Adam Ruzek.

"I don't understand?" Kevin's voice was barely above a whisper as he stared at a photo of his best buddy who they had buried years ago. What did she mean he wasn't dead?

"Hard to believe." She nodded and pointed to the photo. She had spent a lot of hours staring at this photo over the past week. "I saw him on the weekend. Adam is well and truly alive and kicking."

"What the actual fuck Kim?" Atwater narrowed his eyes and stared at the screen, surely this was some sick and twisted joke. Why would she be doing this? It did not make any sense.

"Believe me Kevin, I had exactly the same reaction and I still can barely get my head around it. I thought Al had gone stark raving mad." She tried to laugh but it came out as some weird half moan. "As you can imagine it's been fairly intense the past two weeks."

"Where is he?" Halstead was slowly organising his thoughts. Platt wasn't fairing so well, she hadn't moved an inch or said a word, which was un-Platt like. Very little rendered her speechless.

"In Detroit. He wants to come back to Chicago."

"He's been in Detroit all this time?"

"No, he was living on the East coast and travelled around for a bit, lived in Canada and France for a couple of years." She rambled nervously. "Anyway, he was released from Witness Protection just over a month ago. Everyone related to that case had died so the FEDS let him choose whether to come out or stay in. He wanted to come back home."

Through Al they had arranged to meet halfway between Detroit and Chicago. Adam wanted to jump on his bike and ride straight to Chicago as soon as Al told him that Kim wanted to see him. "Hold on Kid. Kim has agreed only if she comes to you." Al offered to come with Kim but it was something she needed to do herself. Daisy and Oliver were with her sister for the weekend so she nervously drove the 175miles to Battle Creek.

Adam had arrived early and sat in the café for an hour waiting, he didn't want to miss her. What if she got there early and then left? What if he broke down on the way? What if she didn't come? His gut churned and he checked his phone a million times to make sure he didn't get a message to say she wasn't coming. He folded and refolded the napkin in front of him and tried to imagine what she looked like now and what he was going to say. Their only contact up to this point was through Al; she had refused to let him give him her number. This had to be on her terms and he got that.

This was hard enough, trying to piece his life back together and while he knew that she had moved on and got married he also knew that things weren't going well for her on that front. Al hadn't told him much but he had admitted that she was separated. Not that it mattered one way or the other, that wasn't what this was about. He needed to see her and apologise for all the pain this had caused. He needed her to forgive him and then if he had to walk away he would.

Kim paused at the door, peering through the grimy window trying to get a glimpse of him. Even now she still had this nagging pit in her stomach that it wasn't really true. Somehow this was a joke, and this imposter had conned even Al into believing that he was Adam Ruzek. The place was almost deserted but she caught sight of the back of his head and she knew in an instant and her heart almost stopped. How many times had she caressed that neck, held onto it while he kissed her or ran her fingers through that hair? Those types of things never left you. She tried to shake those memories loose, now was not the time to be taking that trip down memory lane.

The hair stood up on the back of his neck as he heard the bell ring as the door opened. He resisted the urge to swing around as the footsteps approached. "Adam."

He closed his eyes momentarily and let that single word filter through him. The sound of her voice was like honey; everything had been ripped away from him in an instant so to hear that again was overwhelming. Suddenly he propelled himself up out of his seat and came face to face with his past. "Oh God Kim, I'm so sorry." For the briefest moment neither of them moved and then she fell into his arms and his barely pieced together heart broke into smaller shards as she sobbed his name.

"I can't believe it's you." She ran her hands over his arms and leant back to look at him. "Adam."

"I know. I never thought this would happen, I never thought I would see you again. I wasn't even sure you were going to come. I kept checking my phone." He pulled out a chair for her and slipped back into his seat. Now that the initial shock had worn off she folded her hands in her lap and tried to breathe.

"I had to see for myself."

"Here I am, in the flesh." He smiled, a little uncomfortably and held out his hands.

"I thought you were dead. I buried you, I cried night after night for you."

"I hated every minute of the past nine years. I hated the thought of what I did to you. I hated everyone, the FEDS who screwed me over," Kim heard the anger and bitterness in his voice "the bastards who threatened my family and the people I loved." He lowered his eyes a little as he spoke those last few words. He wanted to tell her that he had walked away because of her, to protect her but he didn't.

Kim reached across the table and rested her hand on his cheek. Dragging her thumb across his rough stubble. He had deliberately kept it that way, knowing that he was seeing her again and how much she liked it. Well at least she used too. Now he had no idea. "You are real."

He placed his hand over hers. "I am." He pulled his hand away suddenly and she knew why. He had felt her wedding and engagement rings and dropping her hand back down into her lap she covered it with her other hand and averted her eyes. "I never expected you to not move on. I was gone."

"It's complicated." Kim had no idea why she was even still wearing them. Perhaps they were a safety net, coming to see Adam again she could run and hide behind those rings if she needed to.

"Al told me you were married. I am not here to cause trouble for you."

"I know. It's just a bit of a mess right now." She looked uncomfortable and it was obvious that she didn't want to talk about that so he changed the subject.

"You have kids right?" Kim just wished he hadn't chosen this one.

"I do. I have two. Oliver and Daisy." Over and over in her mind for that past week and on the entire drive up here she tried to figure out what to do about this. It was too early to introduce the fact that Oliver was his son. She had no idea if he would want to be a part of his life. "What about you?"

He shook his head, almost sadly. "Nope. It was strange I guess, I never felt like I could bring a child into the world under false pretences. I wasn't a real person, I never felt comfortable with who I was. How could I pretend to be this whole other person with a whole other family when deep down I was always Adam Ruzek? So I decided never to settle, I spent a year here and a year there."

"You still deserved to be happy."

"I had relationships and I was happy enough, I wasn't always alone I just didn't settle down. A year was my limit. Then, you know things needed to start getting serious, questions about my past started to get asked and I pulled the pin. I wasn't Adam Ruzek anymore so I didn't have the same propensity to propose." His eyes suddenly looked a little lighter when Kim laughed a little.

They talked about Atwater and Adam couldn't believe that he'd finally settled down and had kids. "Buster and Grady? Really?" He cocked one eyebrow at her and smiled crookedly. All the familiar facial expressions were heartbreaking and comforting at the same time. It really was him.

"Well Buster's name is actually Adam, but we have always called him Buster." Kim had always thought it was really sweet that Kevin and Joelle had named their first son after Adam. They had asked her if she minded and also asked her to be his godmother. When Oliver was born she had contemplated naming him Adam but the thought of saying his name everyday was too much too soon but by the time Atwater's twins came around the intense grief had well and truly passed.

She told him about Erin's struggles and their little girl, Grace. "Erin never did cope well with stress."

"No, she was a godsend to me in the beginning and it was hard to see her go through all that particularly after what she did for me." Kim quickly looked away and Adam got the distinct impression that she had stopped herself. "So she will be back in Intelligence in about six months. She is getting to enjoy the wrath of Platt for a change and I can tell you Platt hasn't mellowed with age."

They ordered some lunch and Kim let Adam tell her about some of the places he'd been and things he'd done. He was now working in construction and while he did miss being a cop the scars from that UC assignment were far to deep for him ever to go back. It was surprisingly comfortable, surreal but while they kept the conversation away from anything too deep it wasn't awkward.

"I want to come back to Chicago." Not that he needed her permission but he wanted to know she wouldn't hate it. He did think about just turning up but he wasn't ready for that. This wasn't easy on anyone, especially him. It was like trying to fit into your High School prom suit; you desperately wanted it to fit but no matter what you did to convince yourself it never felt quite right.

"It's your home. Have you spoken to you Dad or Mom?"

"No. Not yet. I don't know how." It wasn't easy. How do you just pick up the phone and say 'hi Mom' I'm back? It was hard enough to summon the courage to call Al.

"Adam, they need to know."

"Do you still see them?" That was such a loaded question. Of course she still saw them, they were a big part of their grandchild's life. They adored him, it was the only piece of their son they had left and from the day she told them about the baby they had buried their hatchets and agreed that that little sliver of light was all that mattered.

"I do. Surprisingly they actually get along okay now."

"Really?"

Kim bit her tongue. Perhaps she had said too much but then suddenly she could see an escape route, just enough to give her some breathing room. She hadn't thought about what would happen when Adam contacted his parents. Surely they would tell him about Oliver and she needed to be the one to do that. "Do you want me to tell them? Al and I could break it to them. I think you turning up on the doorstep would give them a heart attack."

"Is that asking too much?"

"No, Adam it's not."

"I don't know when I will be ready." He looked down at his hands. "I don't feel like Adam Ruzek yet."