The Girl Next Door
The drive to Sorelli's, usually twenty minutes or so, took a great deal longer. The reason for this was that Christine had gone no further than a few streets before her vision, so blurred with tears, forced her to pull over. She sat behind the wheel, breathing ragged and tears falling unstoppably. A few small sobs escaped but once she was able, Christine continued to drive, knowing that if she dawdled for too long she would end up turning back.
Sorelli was sitting on the porch outside her house, talking with Meg when Christine drew up in the car. They both went down to the curb. Sorelli took Cat indoors and Meg seized Christine's things as Christine locked the car door and turned to her friends. Within moments they were taking her inside, assuring her that everything would be alright and that they'd help her.
They went into the kitchen and Meg sat down with her as Sorelli began to make tea. Christine bit down on her quivering lower lip.
"Meg… I don't know what to do."
"You've done the right thing. I assume, since I don't actually know what's going on." Meg said, patting her hand. Christine swallowed hard.
"I just left him there. After everything, I just left him…" Tears threatened again and she put her head in her hands. Sorelli sat with them as the kettle boiled.
"Why don't you tell us what happened?" she asked. "I mean, if it's private, give us a censored version."
Christine didn't speak for a moment and then said,
"There's someone else."
"What? Who?"
"…His fiancée." Christine whispered. She looked up, eyes red and puffy from weeping. "She died almost seven years ago, and Erik found out that she had been pregnant with his child. But he's been… been having dreams about her. And last night I found him looking at pictures of her, going through her things."
She moistened her lips and shook her head slowly.
"He can't let go. I just want to be with him so badly but I can't, because I don't know if he's thinking about me or her, or if he even wants me at all." It was no good. She started to cry again, covering her face with her hands. Meg hugged her tightly as Sorelli poured hot water into the teapot.
"What did you say to him?" Meg asked.
"I-I told him that… that he had to decide one way or the other. That he couldn't have both of us. And that I had to leave because he couldn't decide with me there."
Don't leave me.
The words rang through her skull, Erik's pained, sorrowed tone inflicting more pain on her than if she had been beaten bloody. Christine's chest tightened and she gasped for air between sobs. Meg looked to be on the verge of tears herself as she held her. Sorelli put mugs of tea down in front of them, putting milk no the floor for Cat, who was sniffing interestedly at the floor.
"Christine, you did the right thing. Erik clearly has a few things to work out and if you're with him day and night, he won't be able to think straight. You just need some time apart." Sorelli said firmly. "She's right. It took a lot of bravery for you to walk away like that." Meg assured her.
And although she appreciated them, their words were of little comfort to Christine.
Meg stayed until quite late in the evening. They spent the day trying to take Christine's mind off her debacle, with various videos, conversations, jokes and frequent cups of tea. Once Meg had gone, Christine helped Sorelli clear away their plates, saying,
"Thanks for letting me stay, Sorelli."
"Not a problem, sweetie. Besides, you'll be paying for coming here." She grinned. "We've got a bedroom to decorate for this little guy." She patted her protruding stomach cheerfully. Christine smiled weakly.
"Oh… yay."
"I thought you might be pleased."
Christine went up to her room to sort her things out. She'd brought a week's worth of clothes. If it looked like she was going to be here for any longer she would go home during lunch. Sitting on the edge of her bed, she looked around the strange room. Cat strolled in and jumped into her lap, perfectly at ease. Her head was aching and she just wanted to sleep for a few days. But tomorrow was Monday. Which meant work. Which meant Carlotta.
It was almost enough to make her start crying again.
"Oh, the party was just fabulous! It was such a success, everyone told me so." Carlotta was announcing as Sorelli and Christine got to work the next morning. Meg joined them rolling her eyes.
"Thank God, you're here. All she's talked about for the last ten minutes is that bloody party!"
"You poor tortured soul." Christine said in mock sympathy, patting her on the shoulder. Sorelli grinned and Christine went off to her office.
She managed to spend the morning avoiding everyone. But at lunch time she was forced to venture out in search of food and caffeine. As she filled a cup from the coffee machine, Firmin stopped to talk to her.
"Christine, might I have a word about the Hannibal opening night? Mr Khan wants us to some publicity for the event."
"Of course."
"Where have you been all morning?" Meg said, marching up to her. "I haven't seen you at all! I wanted to make sure you were OK."
"Why wouldn't she be?" Firmin asked. Christine cleared her throat and looked at him with a calm face.
"Erik and I have separated. I'm staying with Sorelli for the time being. And, just so you know, this isn't going to affect my work. I'll still be working on the Hawthorn Projects. Excuse me, I need to go to the shop and get some lunch."
She picked up her Styrofoam cup and vanished. Meg winced.
"Wow. That was… Is this one of those moments where someone should tell me to shut my mouth?"
"It is."
"OK."
Erik stared into the centre of the crystal paperweight that he held in his hand. He was sat in his office, where he had been all day, not working but just thinking. There was a small sphere of blue gemstone in the centre of the paperweight, refracting the light through the rest of the object. The weight of it in his hand was strangely comforting, the smooth cool surface fitting perfectly into his palm. He moved it slightly so the light changed direction through the centre.
There was a knock at the door and Nadir entered without waiting for an answer.
"Erik, why weren't you in the rehearsal this morning?" He demanded. "We have very little time left before the opening night." Erik didn't reply. His jade eyes were still fixed on the crystal in his fingers. Nadir stared at him, closed the door and sat opposite him.
"Well? What's wrong?"
Erik looked at him for a mere moment before returning his gaze to the paperweight.
"…Christine left." He said quietly, no emotion in his tone. Nadir's eyes widened.
"What?"
"She left."
"How? Why?" Nadir said, leaning forward in a sort of morbid curiosity. Erik exhaled heavily, still staring intently at the orb.
"Because of Anna."
"Your dreams?"
"Yes. She told me… that I had to decide. That she didn't want to love me if I couldn't let go of Anna." Erik said in a slow voice. He wasn't entirely sure why he was telling Nadir this. Because he was his friend? Or because he would be willing to listen? Or even for the simple fact that Nadir cared?
Erik didn't know. He didn't care. He lowered the paperweight and said,
"She's staying with Sorelli. Until I decide what I want."
"And what is that?" Nadir pushed. Erik shook his head.
"I want her. But I can't… I can't forget Anna. Even if I wanted to, the dreams are… too frequent. Too dark."
"Dark?" Nadir let the point drop and then said, "I can't offer anything except advice. And that would be to remember the main difference between Christine and Anna."
"Oh?"
"Christine is alive. She's not Anna but she loves you, she's willing to spend her life with you. I know that you loved Anna and I'm sure that she loved you too but Christine is here and Anna is not. You just need to find a way to let Anna go."
"How do I do that?" Erik asked, sounding genuinely in need of help. Nadir shrugged.
"If I knew, I would tell you. Now, I'm going to send the cast and crew to lunch for an hour. I expect you to be in this afternoon's rehearsal. I covered for you this morning but I have an engagement this afternoon."
"What engagement?"
"I'm going to Populaire Advertising to sort out the opening night. The one you're refusing to help organise." Nadir said dryly. He got to his feet and then leant over to pluck the paperweight from Erik's fingers. "And you won't find any answers in there."
He left the office and Erik stared after him. After a few moments of contemplative silence, he got to his feet and walked from his hiding place to catch up on the rehearsal details from that morning.
"Christine?" She looked up from her desk to see Jammes standing nervously in the doorway. She smiled.
"Come in, Jammes. Is everything alright?"
"I don't know." She sat in the chair opposite Christine's desk, sat upright with her fingers twisting together in her lap. "It's about Carlotta."
"What's wrong?" Christine said, frowning. Jammes swallowed.
"I was… wondering about the cutbacks. The firings. I haven't been with the company all that long, I'm the most recent employee and I don't have much experience… I guess I just want to know if it's possible that I could be one of the ones to go." She said in a rush, avoiding Christine's gaze. Christine was silent for a moment, wondering how to answer. After a pause she sad,
"Jammes, I'm not going to lie to you. Carlotta is on the warpath. You know that she and I… well, we don't get on."
"Bit of an understatement." Jammes said with a small grin. Christine smiled.
"Yes, that's true. Well, the thing is that she can't fire me. Firmin wouldn't allow it. But she knows that I like you and I take a special interest in your work. I promise that if you get fired it's not because you're not good at your job."
"But…?" She waited. Christine licked her lips.
"I've already told Firmin that if Carlotta tries to get rid of you, I'm leaving too."
"Christine, you can't!" Jammes cried but Christine held up a hand.
"No, I won't. Carlotta is not getting rid of anyone from my department. I won't let her. I promise you, Jammes, I won't let her fire you."
"You shouldn't make promises that you can't keep." Jammes warned. Christine shrugged.
"I didn't."
The phone on her desk rang and she picked it up. It was Firmin's receptionist.
"Christine, Mr Khan is here."
"Can you send him to my office, Shelley? Thanks." She put the phone down. "Excuse me, Jammes; Mr Khan is here for a meeting."
"OK. Thanks Christine."
"No problem."
Christine stood and walked with her to the door. Nadir was crossing the office floor towards her. Jammes thanked Christine again and waved to Nadir as she went to her cubicle. Christine smiled briefly at Nadir.
"Come in."
"Thank you." He closed the door behind him as Christine went to sit behind her desk.
"I'll be honest, I've barely had a moment to think up any ideas for the opening, but I was thinking that we could-"
"Christine."
She looked up. He was standing by her desk, a solemn expression on his face. Christine felt a lump rise in her throat.
"Nadir, I can't talk about that. Not right now. I just need to… to work."
"Very well. We'll work first." Nadir said, sitting down. Christine was silent for a moment before taking out the folio of all of the work she had previously used on the Hannibal. For nearly an hour they came up with various ideas and Christine got into it, running various thoughts by him, designs and ideas already popping up in her mind. When they finished she went to the machine, returning with coffees for them. She gave him a resigned look.
"Go ahead." She said tiredly, knowing what he wanted to talk about. He looked at her pityingly.
"Erik told me what happened."
"I thought he might. What did he say?"
"That you left because of Anna. Is that true?"
Christine sipped her coffee and then nodded slowly.
"It's true."
"He does love you."
"But he loves her as well. And I don't know how much. I'm not trying to be selfish, Nadir. I know that he misses her and that he's always going to love her. But… I can't fight for his love. I don't even know if I should. I love him but I can't fight for him. You can't fight someone who's dead."
"It's not your place to fight for him." Nadir said firmly. "He has to learn to let go of Anna."
"But if he does, it'll be because I made him. And what will that make me in his eyes?" Christine pointed out.
"It will make you his salvation."
Poignant words, solemnly spoken. Christine considered them for a few minutes as they silently drank their coffee. She looked up.
"How is he? I mean… did he seem angry? Or upset?"
"I'm not entirely sure. He missed rehearsal; he was just sitting in his office playing with a paperweight all morning. But he emerged this afternoon so I could come here for our meeting. In truth, Christine, he seemed numb. As though he weren't entirely sure that it had actually happened. Well," he grinned, "Either that or he was sulking."
Christine smiled at that statement and drained her cup, dropping it into the bin. Nadir stood and smiled at her.
"Give him time, Christine. He'll make his mind up."
"One way or the other." Christine added. Nadir nodded and she followed him out of the office. Sorelli instantly appeared at Nadir's side.
"Trying to sneak out without saying hello?" She demanded with a smile. Nadir returned the expression.
"Of course not." He kissed her sweetly and then nodded to Christine. "I'll see you soon."
"Yes, you will. You're coming over for dinner tonight." Sorelli told him. Nadir smiled and headed to the exit. Sorelli looked at Christine.
"You don't mind him coming over?"
"No, don't be silly. Nadir's a darling."
"Isn't he just?" Sorelli grinned. She stretched and rubbed her stomach. "I wish he'd stop kicking. It was cute at first but it's starting to get a little annoying."
"Energetic little guy, isn't he?"
"Sure is."
"Got any names yet?" Christine asked. Sorelli nodded.
"A couple. I quite like Sean. And I'm leaning towards Tristan as well."
"Those are both nice." Christine agreed. She glanced at her watch. "I'll go and finish some work before we go home."
She went back to her office and sat at her desk, thinking about what she had told Nadir. It was true. She almost viewed Anna as competition for Erik's affections. And you couldn't win against the dead. She sighed heavily and shook her head.
She hated herself for leaving. She hated herself for wanting to go back. And, more than anything, she hated herself for hurting Erik. Everyone was telling her that she had done the right thing, but what could she do if Erik decided that he was better off without her? How could she start again after all that had happened? She wanted him to need her, but in truth she needed him just as much. They had gone through so much pain and trauma just to be together in the first place. And if he made a decision against her, she would have to start anew.
Christine decided then and there that if the worst happened and Erik turned her away, she would leave. Not just across the town, as she had done with Raoul. Out of town. London, maybe, or even further. It would be easier to start in a strange town, where she could be completely anonymous.
She sat perfectly still for a moment, contemplating the decision. And then she put her head in her hands, not crying but feeling utterly defeated.
Christine sat in Sorelli's lounge, working on the Hannibal opening. Some classical music played from the CD player, Beethoven's 9th symphony filling the room quietly. Christine tapped her pen in time to the music as she leant over the low coffee table. The doorbell rang and Christine let Sorelli get it. At least, that was the idea. The doorbell rang a second time and Christine called,
"Sorelli, get the door!"
There was no reply. Christine listened carefully and heard running water. She must be in the shower. Sighing, she got to her feet and pulled open the door, ready to rebuke whoever it was simply for interrupting her work.
Raoul stood on the porch, hands stuffed into his trouser pockets. Christine looked at him blankly.
"What are you doing here?" She said, genuinely confused. How had he known where she was staying?
"I heard that you and Destler had split up." Christine felt irritation rising in her chest and leant against the doorframe.
"Raoul, no. Erik and I are trying to work things out, I don't need you-"
"Hey, hey!" Raoul frowned, holding up his hands to halt her speech. "I'm just here to make sure you're alright. It's all over the Hawthorn. I heard that you'd moved out of your apartment and I wanted to make sure you were safe and had somewhere to stay."
Instantaneous guilt flooded through Christine like hot water. She looked down at the floor shamefully.
"Oh…"
"Yeah, 'oh' is right. I was worried about you, that's all. Believe it or not, I'm really not that evil. So I called up Populaire Advertising to talk to you but whoever answered said that you'd already gone. I got the address and came to check up on you." He grinned at her pink face. "Bet you feel pretty bad right now."
"I've felt better." She admitted. "I'm sorry, I've just had a rough weekend and seeing you…"
"You assumed I was here to make it worse." Raoul finished. He smiled and shrugged. "Afraid I'm going to have to disillusion you. I'm here to make peace."
He sat down on one of the chairs on the porch. Christine took one as well and he looked at her,
"So, what's going on? I mean, if you don't mind telling."
"It's rather personal." She replied. "But it's not just Erik, although that's the main thing. Work is hell at the moment."
"How come?"
"You know Carlotta Guidacelli? She's been made an envoy of Guidacelli Tech at Populaire. She's on a total power trip and is trying to get one of my friends fired because she can't fire me."
"Why don't you just get rid of her? Can't Richard Firmin get her out?"
"Guidacelli Tech backs Populaire. They provide our equipment and a big chunk of our funds. Without them we'd go under. So we're stuck with her." Christine sank back into the chair, staring out at the road, cars trundling past in the hot weather. "I'll see how things go. They can only get better, right?"
"By the sounds of it, they can't get much worse for you." Raoul agreed. Christine looked back to him.
"What about you? How's life been treating you?"
"Since when? Since you left or just recently?"
"Your choice."
"Well… after you left I pretty much just dived headfirst into the family business. Phil's been taking care of me but I've got the ropes by now. That's why he's been sending me out to places, finding business to invest in. I caught wind of all of the hype about the Hawthorn and went to see one of the shows. I can't remember what it was called…" he frowned, trying to remember, "Il something. I think it was Italian."
"Il Muto."
"Yeah, that's the one. Anyway, I went to see that and it was good. So I convinced Phil to invest. Obviously, I didn't realise at the time that you were doing work for them, as well as being involved with Destler."
"To be fair, Erik and I weren't involved when you came to my apartment." Christine said. Raoul chuckled.
"Anyway, yeah. That's about it. I've done a lot of work mostly. Spent a few weeks in LA, Phil's investing in some new company there and he wanted me to check it out. That turned out pretty well."
"It sounds like you were busy." Christine said. He nodded, putting his hands behind his head, lounging in the sunshine.
"Yeah. It's been crazy. But I'll admit I nearly fell to pieces when you left. I mean, I know we both wanted the divorce over. But it was a case of not knowing what you've got until it's gone." He looked over at her and smiled faintly. Christine felt rather uncomfortable, but maintained eye contact until he looked away.
He stretched his legs out.
"But things are better now. Phil's engaged, they're getting married next year, if they ever decide on a date."
"What about you?" Christine asked, not entirely sure why she was. "Are you seeing anyone?"
"I've been on a few dates. Phil set them up mostly. But I haven't really met anyone. You're hard act to follow, Chris. But, what with my charms, good looks and enormous piles of cash, I'm bound to meet someone sooner or later."
"And so very modest." Christine said lightly. Raoul grinned.
"Come on, you know I'm adorable."
"I'm not saying anything." She said firmly. He laughed and glanced over at her.
"Fine. I won't force you to. We both know the truth."
She couldn't help smiling. A clock chimed through the open front door.
"Do you want a drink or anything?" She offered. Raoul shook his head.
"No, I'd better get going." He stood up and brushed down his shirt. Christine got to her feet and he smiled at her. "It was good to see you, Chris. It was also great to have a conversation that didn't end up with one of us being completely insulted."
"A rare moment for us." She agreed. He smiled and patted her on the shoulder in a friendly gesture.
"I'll see you around. If things get tough, give me a call. I know what you're like, so bloody proud. It won't kill you to accept some help." He warned. Christine nodded and he sloped down the steps towards the pavement where his large, expensive car was parked. Christine went inside and found Sorelli standing nearby, eavesdropping with damp hair and pink skin from her shower.
"Sorelli!"
"Hey, this is too good to pass up. What was Mr Ex-husband doing here?" She eyed Christine. "Trying to get back in your pants?"
"Charming, Sorelli. And no. He was… making sure I was alright, if you can believe it." Christine closed the door and shrugged. "It was… weird. But nice. He's easier to deal with when he's not hitting on me all the time."
"I'm going to start dinner. Do you want finish up your work?" Sorelli said. Christine nodded and went to sit in the living room.
It had been a funny sort of day.
A/N: I hope this chapter helps to clear up a few things. And I know, Raoul isn't a complete loser anymore. In truth, I like Raoul, he's not a bad guy and I didn't want to make him one. A little irritating, maybe, but no evil. He's not going to start slapping Christine about any second either!
This chapter is lovingly dedicated to the wonderful Killer Veggies for her Fanart:
http/ img . photobucket . com / albums / v159 / Squirrelie / Art /TGND01 . gif
Thank you for the awesome reviews, I can't believe how many people are reading this story! I'm a self-declared review whore and you wonderful people are feeding my addiction. Thank you!
Love
Katie