Kim was dreading seeing her husband, their conversations lately had barely been civil and she was angry with him, furious in fact. Adam had been surprisingly rational, he was certainly adamant that Oliver was not to be left alone in his care again although he did relent and agree not to confront Steve, this time. He wanted to beat the living shit out of him.

The only way Kim could talk him into staying out of it was to remind Adam that Steve would probably take out Protection Order against him and if he included Daisy that would mean that Adam couldn't come to the house when Daisy was around. That would restrict his time with Oliver to every second weekend and never during the week. They would never be able to go out all and do things together. "Is that what you want?"

"Of course not, but he can't get away with it. Kim, I want to hurt him as much as he hurt my boy. He hurt my son. You know me, I could never stand child abusers."

"Neither can I. I will make sure that he stays away from Oliver, but please, for me don't do this." Adam nodded but it churned in his gut. The guy had one chance and he made sure Burgess damn well knew it.

Oliver was more than happy to stay with Adam and his Pops for the day. Kim didn't even really need to ask. They were building a dollhouse for Daisy's Christmas Present, the time and effort they were putting into it Kim wouldn't be surprised if it was bigger than her room. It had been Ollie's idea and Bob loved tinkering away in his shed with his Grandson. Adam would just watch them; he had enough of building shit at work although it was hard not to get sucked into helping them. It was three generations of Ruzek that a few short months ago seemed impossible.

Fortunately, for Daisy anyway she had gone to the Mall with her Grandparents. Steve just rolled his eyes when he opened the door. "Let me guess? I am about to get another lecture?"

"What the hell did you expect? How could you leave him like that? What the fuck were you thinking? He's a little boy." Fire spat from Kim's eyes and she almost had to physically restrain herself from delivering a well-deserved Voight slap. She may have talked Adam down from the ledge but she was still teetering on it herself.

"I am sure his father came to save the day."

Kim pushed past him; she wasn't having this out on the front porch. The neighbour's curtains were probably already starting to flutter. Not much happens in this street so when there was even the hint of drama it bought them out in force. "Well I am glad someone did. Why are you taking this out on Oliver?"

For a moment he did think of not following her. He was sick of this, they were just going around and around in circles. "He's not my problem." Sad thing was Steve knew precisely what he was doing; he was trying to hurt his wife as much as she had hurt him by giving up on them. He just couldn't stop himself and he was still willing to lay most of the blame at her feet. The jealousy wasn't helping him.

"Okay, fine I get it. You've wiped you hands of Oliver." Kim slammed her bag down on the table having made her way into his parent's kitchen. "Don't worry I won't ask you to care about him again. You do however realise that it's hurting Daisy too?"

"Daisy is fine."

"Daisy is not fine, she loves her brother and hates to see him upset."

"What the fuck is he upset about now? He's got what he wanted."

"Steve, he's 8 years old. Yes he's happy that Adam is around but for his whole life you were there for him, you were the only father he knew and he looked up to you and he's confused as to why suddenly you don't like him."

"You never wanted me to be his father, I was just your safety net. You're ex left you stranded, where has he been all these years? Now he's come crawling back and you just open your legs."

"Go to hell. I've never lied to you. Never."

"He wants to fuck you, you know that? I asked him and he told me straight to my face. Maybe his motives aren't as altruistic as he makes out."

"So what?" The way he spat that out and the hatred in his eyes made her blood run cold. "Doesn't mean it's going to happen. It's the last thing on my mind believe me. I don't need any more drama in my life and neither do the kids. Adam is just trying to be a father to Oliver."

"Whatever, Kim. Do whatever or whoever you like, it's none of my business anymore." Why did the men in her life treat her like an object that they owned? Adam had done it years ago and it had forced her into that bloody mess with Roman and now her husband was telling her to do the same. Who gave them the right?

Kim ignored it. "I will tell you something for nothing. Adam knows that you hit Oliver. Oliver told him, last night when he was scared because you had left him alone at home in the dark." She saw a fleeting look of terror on his face. While he tried to be all tough he had a fair idea that Adam would kick the living shit out of him without raising a sweat. "So you are damn lucky it's me here and not him."

"I'm not scared of him."

"You probably should be." Kim warned him, despite telling Adam in no uncertain terms that he needed to keep his hands to himself. "Lucky for you he's being somewhat rational about it as long as you stay away from Oliver."

"That's fucking big of him. How about he stays away from my daughter then?"

"No."

"No?" he took two steps closer to Kim but she didn't flinch and wasn't about to back down.

"You heard me. Adam is in Oliver's life and whether you like it or not that means he is around Daisy. I want him around. I will tell you at this stage that I won't leave Daisy alone with him because neither of us is ready for that. Adam's not and neither am I but he comes to the house, he spends time with Daisy, we all spend time together."

"I don't want him around my daughter." He repeated.

"Too bad. He is."

"I will fight you on this."

"No you won't." Kim held up her hand angrily. "Because if you do you will lose. You know you will. You have a problem with alcohol, you abandoned an 8 year old and so help me god if you try I will report you for abusing Oliver."

Steve took a step back when they heard his parent's car in the driveway. Daisy spotted her Mom's car and was calling out for her as soon as she got out of the car. Kim met her on the front porch. "Hey Baby." She scooped her up. "Where have you been?"

"We went to the shops. We are making cupcakes. Do you want one?"

"How about you bring one home for me tomorrow?" It was Daisy's weekend to stay with her father and at this stage that was going to continue as much as Kim wanted to punish him and take her with her. It was punishing Daisy though and Steve's parents and she didn't want to do that, it wasn't their fault.

Adam bought Oliver home just before dinner. She had spent the afternoon cleaning the house and trying to clear her head. He had no idea what had gone on with her husband but she didn't want to talk to him about it and certainly not when Oliver was around.

He let it ride until Oliver had gone to bed. "So?"

"I told him that you know about what he did to Oliver and he's lucky it was me standing there instead of you. I also told him that you don't want him alone with Oliver again." She replied flatly, barely stopping from loading the dishwasher.

"How did he take that?" Adam hadn't moved from the table. He watched her, her movements were jerky and he'd seen that before. She was pissed off. With him? He wasn't sure, it seemed that way but he had no idea what he'd done. When she left this morning sure things weren't all sunshine and roses but they were okay.

"How do you think he took it?" She dropped the cutlery into the basket with a clatter.

"You are pissed with me it seems?"

"How do you think I felt when he informed me that you told him you want to fuck me?"

Ahhh, and there it was, the reason she was so pissed. He always knew that was going to bite him one day. He was surprised it had taken this long; he thought that Steve would have told her that weeks ago. "What did he say?"

"Just that, so now he is jealous which makes him so much more easy to deal with."

"Well I know how he feels." Suddenly Adam was on the defensive. Not that matching her snippy tone with one of his own would help one iota but she had no right being pissed off with him, not when there were bigger things to worry about; like the fact that her ex was abusive towards his son.

"About what?"

"It's not nice watching someone else desperate to screw the woman you are in love with."

"What are you talking about?"

Adam took a deep breath. This had to come up at some point, it may have been a long time ago but it had eaten away at him. He was always wondering if they had hooked up again after he left. "So how is Roman?"

"Really? You want to talk about this now?"

"It's as good a time as any."

Kim slammed the door of the dishwasher. Adam's random questions used to throw her, not anymore but she did know he didn't let them go. It was easier to just answer them and move on. Mostly they were good, he would ask about Oliver's birthdays, first day of school or Christmas but occasionally it was about painful and uncomfortable memories. "I haven't spoken to him in a while. Last time he called me was just after you came back, he left a message and I didn't call him back."

"Did you see ever see him?" If it was just a conversation over the phone he could deal with that.

"He came back after you disappeared." Kim refused to say the word 'died' she didn't want to tempt fate. It was such a nasty bitter word and memory.

"And?"

"Nothing. I was four months pregnant."

"He was still sniffing around?"

"I guess so. He came back again when Oliver was a couple of months old."

"Did you sleep with him again?" It hurt to ask and by the look of her face she was feeling the same kind of pain.

"No, I told you it was a mistake, a huge mistake. I was never in love with Roman. I was trying to get over you." Kim never forgot her first few days in Intelligence either, Al had told her that she was basically a 'badge bunny' and that had hurt. She never saw herself like that, but then again self-reflection was not one of her strong points in those days.

"I never got over you." Of course she knew that, deep down she knew that the moment he heard those words in the courtroom and saw the look on his face. She had stupidly convinced herself and let other's convince her that maybe he didn't care about her enough, but that day she had broken him. That day, the look of absolute agony on his face told her otherwise but it was too late, the damage had been done.

"I know." Kim finished wiping down the benches and put the kettle on to boil while she came and sat at the table opposite him. Adam was flicking through his phone trying to distract himself. "Can we just back up a little?"

"How far?"

"To your comment about you know how Steve feels."

"I was hoping you'd let that slide." The way she looked at him he knew that she was not about to drop it. "It killed me watching Roman follow you around with his tongue hanging out. I imagine Steve doesn't like me being around you either." Adam couldn't look at her right now. This was not where he wanted this conversation to go, he didn't want to admit to her that he still wanted her. That wasn't going to help anyone, least of all him. He was trying to ignore those feelings but they beat louder within him everyday. "I don't think it's any great secret. Is it?"

"Not really helpful though."

"Which is exactly why I've done nothing about it. I have no intention of making things hard for you or put my relationship with Oliver at risk." He would just let it chew on him from the inside.

"And?"

"And what?"

"Is that how you feel? That us together will ruin your relationship with Oliver?"

"I don't know. I know we can't do friends with benefits so what does that leave us with?"

"Pity." There was a faint twinkle in her eye.

"It is."

"When did you last…"

"Have sex?" he jumped in and Kim blushed.

"No, I was going to say have a girlfriend."

"Same thing. That's why I had relationships, for the sex. I was never a one night stand type of guy and I tried but it didn't make me feel any better." He smiled a little ruefully. "I was seeing someone, only for a few months when the FEDS came to me and I found out that coming home was an option so I pulled the pin."

"Why?"

"Because I didn't love her and Paul Benson was about to fall off the face of the earth."

"Like Adam Ruzek did."

Adam smiled painfully. "Yeah, but I didn't leave any time bombs behind. And FYI I haven't had sex since." He winked. This was hardly an easy conversation to have.

"You know it made me feel pretty crappy knowing how you were talking about me."

"He asked and I was honest." Adam grabbed her hand, turning it over and drawing circles on her palm. It was something that he knew she once liked and by the way her hand relaxed she still did and there was something in her eyes that told him that she wasn't as annoyed as she was making out. "However I would like to think that you got this little tingle up your spine" He walked his fingers up her wrist. "..and gave you a bit of a thrill." He winked at him and she just about died.

"Damn you Adam Ruzek. Damn you and your charms."

Eventually they got back to Roman, much to Kim's disappointment. She had wanted to forget that whole sorry saga. When Roman first left she didn't blame him for the situation she found herself in, that was all on her shoulders but she did like to think that maybe he regretted his part in it all. Turning up when he found out about Adam had shocked her and when he saw her pregnant he offered to take on her and her baby, like she was some obligation. Kim had no intention of revisiting that relationship; it wasn't that great the first time around.

While she knew that Adam wasn't coming back she also knew he would hate the thought of Roman being a father to his child and that would eat away at her. Adam made it quite clear that there was no love lost between the two of them; he had screamed that at her that fateful night when Oliver became a reality.

Coupled with the fact that she knew that she could never love him; she never did, not even close.

Then he tried again when Oliver was a couple of months old and that had made her angry. It had taken her quite a few years to even take a call from him again. He had always taken advantage of her and usually when she was at her most vulnerable. Why hadn't she seen that earlier? He had got into her ear about the wisdom of marrying a cop but was then quite happy to start a relationship with her. God she had been so dumb.

"Honestly, if Al had told me that you'd married Roman I might never have come back."

"Really you hated him that much?"

Without a moment's hesitation he answered. "Yes."

"You would have let your precious male ego get in the way of having a relationship with your son?"

"I didn't know I had a son back then. Remember you decided to keep it a secret." It still did hurt him that she didn't tell him right away. He knew why she did it, why she wanted to keep it a secret because as soon as he did know he did jump in with both feet. It still hurt though and didn't help his anxiety and it confused his feelings for her. Did he want her because she was the mother of his child or did her want her because they were meant to be?

"And if you did?"

"We'd be sitting here but probably we wouldn't be friends."

"I didn't do it to hurt you."

"But you did. You hurt me."

Kim jumped up to make them both a coffee, the air in the room was heavy with too many painful memories and mutual hurt. "We didn't treat each other well did we?"

"No, not really."

Kim slipped both arms around his neck as he sat at the table and he held her hands against his chest. "Thank god for second chances." She kissed his cheek.