Title: Nightmare Seductions
author: Jmaria
Rating: FR-18
Disclaimer: Joss is god, I am a lowly worshipper.
Spoilers: The series, but not the big damn movie. Also, for Baby on Board and Just Unsettlin'
Summary: . . .rarely ever works unless you're a mind-reading genius or a big dumb ox.
A/N: According to my little list of to-do fics - I'm supposed to be on a Zoe baby!fic. Unfortunately - or fortunately for those who are enjoying the Rayne ones - I'm not, and mini-set Rayne continues to prosper.

Nightmare Seduction

Jayne half expected to wake up in the airlock. Weren't quite sure why he wasn't there. His head was throbbing worse'n anything since he first got sick on alcohol. He nearly jumped out of his skin when two fingertips snaked their way along his jaw line.

River stood beside him, one hand on the small bulge of her belly, while the other rested on his cheek. Jayne's eyes focused on her belly. Where two babies were cuddled up napping, two of his babies. Babies he couldn't remember making. Which was bad. Which made him a bad guy.

"Not bad, just confused," River whispered, making him even more twitchy.

"Ain't right, what I did. Makes me bad," Jayne muttered, thinkin' maybe he deserved to be in the airlock right now.

"No. Makes me bad, I'm not right. I meddled when I didn't have the right," Tears pooled in her eyes as she smoothed back his hair. "I'm a monster."

Zoe coughed then, making her presence known. Jayne waited for her to shoot him, but Zoe merely motioned for him to follow her. Jayne gave her a look, but River squeezed his hand and smiled through her tears. He was gettin' more befuddled by the second.

"Can we go back to the part where Jayne's the father?" Wash cried, looking between a bruised Simon and a seriously pissed off Mal.
"Did I miss any exciting revelations?" Shepherd Book asked, coming into the galley.

"Apparently, Jayne's the father of River's twins. It's all very confusing."

"Jayne? Jayne Cobb?"
"The man-ape gone wrong, yes." Simon snapped.

"And he hit Simon?"

"Naw, that'd be the result of little River's mood swings. Seems the doc hit Jayne with a bedpan," Mal sighed.

"Hospital hysterics," Wash cut in.

"Wash."

"Sorry, Captain."

"Well, y'all can shut up now. If'n yer planning on killin' me, do it quick." Jayne snapped, sitting down heavily at the table.

"There'll be no killing, not today," River snapped, more force and sanity than they'd heard in her voice, well, ever. "Jayne's not responsible."

"River, honey, you didn't get yourself . . in the family way," Book said gently.
"I did. I manipulated him, plied him with wood alcohol, got him excited and used him to my own means," River replied, her eyes locked on Jayne's.

The room was quiet for a moment, and Jayne just stared blankly at her. He remembered the booze, 'membered passing out, just like he had when Mal'd got hisself hitched to Saffron. Didn't remember much else.

"River, a man remembers that sorta thing," Mal said, glaring at Jayne.
"Man also remembers getting married. 'Sides, Simon didn't remember on Canton," River shrugged.

"That's because it didn't happen on Canton!" Simon snapped. "Kaylee was upset and -"

"I don't remember."

Jayne said it clearly, and the room descended into quiet once more. He stared at his hands, his mouth set in a grim line. He didn't understand why the gorram girl'd done what she'd done, but it didn't change nothing. She was carrying his kids, weren't she?

"That ain't an excuse," Jayne continued. "Don't know why she - well, that ain't true neither. Wouldn't pick Book, he bout got it chopped off fer religion. Wash's got Zoe, and Zoe'd likely kill 'em both for even tryin'. Simon's kin and that just ain't natural. And Mal -"

"Only logical choice," River cut him off. "Unattached. Strong, healthy, not kin."

"So the question is why at all? Why go through all that trouble to get pregnant at all?" Zoe asked.

"Subterfuge."

"Subter-what?" Wash asked.

"Disguise. Looking for a Tam, no Tam. Just a Cobb. Looking for a girl, finds a mother, a respectable family."

Shepherd Book nodded his head. Jayne had fallen silent again, staring at his hands. Mal, Wash, and Kaylee still looked confused. Simon looked upset. And Zoe, well, Zoe was hard to read.

"I think it might be best if we leave them to talk a spell," Book said, resting a hand on Kaylee's shoulder. "They have quite a bit they need to discuss."

"I'm sorry."

"No, you ain't. Got what you wanted."
"I wanted us safe. I wanted Serenity safe."

"Coulda asked me, 'steada usin' me."

"No, I couldn't."

"Well, gotta make it legit now don't we?" Jayne said angrily.

"No."

"I ain't havin' any a my blood goin' round being unclaimed," there was fierceness in his voice. Something she hadn't read before. Because her food had been problematic.

"Mattie's unclaimed."

"No, she ain't. Ma claimed her for me, cuz I was too stupid to do anything bout it. I ain't stupid now."

"Big sister, important to everything. Didn't see it coming."

"Just cuz yer a genius don't mean you see everything," Jayne shoved the chair back forcefully, making his way towards his bunk.

River stood in the common room by herself, blinking back tears of guilt. Her hand rested protectively on her stomach.

"I didn't see twins."