Kyou never understood why all the lessons in life that you had to learn, had to hurt. Had to leave scars on your soul. Had to bruise you for eternity.
Love was one of those lessons.
The cursed cat of the Sohma family stood looking out the window, watching Tohru laugh and Yuki smile. He saw Shigure's eyes glint in that all too familiar way when he looked at the couple, and he sighed.
That was the way it was supposed to be. He was supposed to pretend to hate Yuki and dislike Tohru, but every once in awhile, he would accidentally let his mask slip and show his true feelings. That he cared for both of them deep down.
Yuki was supposed to pretend to hate Kyou and simply like Tohru for just a friend, but every once in awhile, he would accidentally let his mask slip and show his true feelings. That he cared for Kyou and loved Tohru.
Tohru was supposed to be oblivious to the way Kyou and Yuki felt for her, and oblivious to even her own feelings for the rat of the Sohma family. The completely clueless one, but the glue who actually held them all together.
And Shigure, he was supposed to be the one who understood everything. The wise one, the one who knew everyone's true feelings. And every now and then, he would give them hints that only they could see.
And in the end, they were supposed to all comprehend everything, to all live happily ever after, like in the fairy tales.
That was the way it was supposed to be— the way it was meant to be.
But somewhere along the way, things just screwed up.
Kyou did follow his path— he did pretend to hate Yuki and dislike Tohru. But instead of falling in love with Tohru like he was meant to... he fell in love with Yuki.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
What was worse, was that while trying to get Yuki to hate him more so he would have an excuse to start despising him again— he did just the opposite.
The cat made Yuki fall in love with him, as well.
Damn reverse psychology.
Kyou's eyes gathered a far away look, and he remembered the time he and Yuki had first bonded.
Flashback
"Kyou? What are you doing?" Yuki asked, confused, when he walked in Kyou's room to check on him, just like Tohru had asked.
"What does it look like I'm doing?" Kyou mumbled. He buried his face deeper in the book he was reading.
"Well, it looks to me like you're reading, but that would be very un-Kyou like, wouldn't it?" Amusement lit Yuki's eyes.
"Shut up!" Kyou shouted angrily. "I am reading, damn rat."
Yuki strolled over to the boy. "Reading what, and what for?" He asked with interest.
"Damn you're nosey!" Kyou yelled again.
"You don't have to yell, I am not deaf," Yuki stated matter-of-factly.
"I know that," The cat muttered. He continued to read, his eyes moving along the page quickly.
Yuki leaned back so he could see the title of the book. "'All About Rats'?" He questioned, looking at his cousin, surprised.
"Yeah." Kyou looked away, a blush forming on his cheeks.
"Why on earth are you reading that?"
This only made Kyou hold the book closer to his face. "...Well, you know...I thought if I understood you more, maybe we could get along better..." He trailed off.
A genuine look of shock appeared across the rat's face. For once, Yuki was stricken speechless.
Kyou put the book down, embarrassed. "So...what did you come in here for, anyway?"
Yuki blinked, trying to remember. "Miss Honda told me to check on you and tell you dinner was ready."
"Oh, uh...well, thanks." Kyou's cheeks turned even redder.
For some reason, the fact that Kyou was trying to understood him, struck something deep inside Yuki. He looked at Kyou with a new light.
"...No problem."
End flashback
Outside, Tohru was spinning around and around as the leaves fell around her, looking like a dancing angel. Yuki began to join in with her, chuckling the whole time. Shigure's eyes were still glinting, and he was smiling that I-Know-It-All smile.
Kyou felt a warm tear run down his cheek.
'Look at them... They look so happy together,' Kyou thought sadly. 'They belong together.'
Yuki stopped twirling with Miss Honda for a moment so he could catch his breath. He looked up, still laughing, when he saw a figure standing behind the window. His laughing stopped.
"Yuki? What is it?" Tohru's voice asked him, laced with concern.
He smiled kindly at her. "It's nothing, Miss Honda. Don't worry. I just feel a little dizzy from all that spinning."
"Oh, I'm sorry! I will get you something to drin—"
The rat shook his head. "No thank you, Miss Honda. I'll be fine. I just need to go inside and rest for awhile, alright?" Without waiting for her reply, he strolled inside the house gracefully.
"Kyou?"
The orange-haired male turned from the window and looked up to see amethyst eyes staring at him. "What do you want?" He asked fiercely.
Damn. That came out colder than he had meant.
"Stupid cat," Yuki replied softly. "Can't you say anything without being rude about it?"
"What's it to you?"
Yuki smiled slightly. "I guess that answers my question."
An awkward silence fell between them. Yuki's violet orbs were clashing with Kyou's crimson ones, and they were speaking without words. Suddenly, Yuki walked over to Kyou, and before either of them could blink, he crushed their lips together.
Kyou parted his lips, and Yuki's tongue invaded his mouth to begin the fight for dominance. Finally, Kyou pulled away, breathless, and sucked in air.
"We can't keep doing this, you know..." Kyou murmured, once he had his breath back.
Yuki looked away, and closed his eyes.
When the other boy didn't say anything, Kyou decided to go on. "We can't keep this relationship up. It's stupid."
A pause followed these words before Yuki yelled, "Is that what you think this is?! Is that what you think love is?! Is that what all these past weeks have been to you...stupid?!"
Kyou was taken aback at Yuki's sudden outburst. "N-no, but..."
"...I don't understand you. Everything you say is...a contradiction."
The cat put his hands in his hair. "Yuki, don't you get it? We're not following the paths we've made for ourselves! We're– we're going against nature! We can never be together, Yuki! Never! That's why we can't keep this up!" Kyou shouted, his eyes desperate.
"...I don't care if we're going against nature. This is..." Yuki ran a shaky hand through his hair.
"Is what, Yuki?! You can't say it's right, 'cause you know it's not!"
"How do you know? How do you know what's right?! You, of all people, definitely do not know what is right!" Yuki shot back, then put his hand over his mouth.
Kyou stared at Yuki for a moment, before laughing hollowly. "You're right, of all people, I sure don't know what's righ.t.."
"I..I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it that way..."
"Sure you didn't," Kyou retorted sarcastically.
"Fine, go ahead! Be that way, be stupid! I don't care!"
"Fine!"
"Fine!"
They both turned away from each other to face the wall.
"We're being childish, you know..." Yuki said quietly, after a moment.
"No we're not!" Kyou snapped, jerking his head to look at the boy. There was a pause, then they both started laughing.
"I...never thought I would ever, in a million years, laugh with you." There was a small smile on Kyou's face.
"Me either," Yuki agreed. "Just goes to show you how odd things can get sometimes."
"Yeah..." Kyou sat down on his knees on the floor. "Yuki?"
"What is it, stupid cat?"
"Two weeks ago, when you said you loved me...how did you mean it?"
"..." Yuki honestly didn't know what to say. He wasn't even sure if he knew the answer to that question. How did he love Kyou?
Suddenly, Kyou started chuckling again. "Never mind. I guess I know. I mean, how many people who love their cousins for just cousins make out with them?"
That brought a grin to the rat's face. "True..."
The smile was wiped off of the cat's face when he stopped laughing. "That's another problem, you know." He stated quietly. "We're cousins. That's wrong. We're not supposed to..."
"I know." And Yuki did.
"There's like a million things wrong with us. We're both males, we're cousins, we're...the cat and rat."
"You could make a list of things that's wrong with our relationship, but that won't make it right."
'It won't make me stop caring for you, either,' Yuki added silently.
Kyou was tracing circles on the floor. "Why doyou love me, anyway?"
"Opposites attract?" Yuki guessed.
Kyou laughed again. "I guess that dumb saying was right."
"And why do you love me?"
"Who couldn't love Prince-fucking-Yuki?" Kyou answered sarcastically.
Yuki laughed, then smirked. "Of course. Who couldn't?"
Kyou threw a pillow at him. "I was being sarcastic, damn rat!"
Yuki continued to laugh, while dodging Kyou's attack. "You were? I wasn't."
Kyou drew his eyebrows together and frowned. "You're so damn arrogant for a rat."
"Look who's talking, stupid cat."
"Hey!" Kyou threw another pillow at him. Thus, beginning the Pillow War between General Yuki and Commander Kyou.
Thirty minutes and one hundred pillows later, Yuki and Kyou lay side by side, panting.
"That was...fun," Yuki stated, amused.
"Yeah," Kyou agreed, chuckling slightly. "Most fun I've had in awhile."
Yuki stared up at the ceiling, counting the dots there. "When did you make me so...immature?"
"I didn't do nothing to you, you damn rat!" Kyou grabbed a close by pillow and hit him with it again.
Yuki smiled, but didn't reply. Another silence fell between them, but this one was more peaceful than awkward.
"Do you love her?" Kyou suddenly questioned him quietly.
Yuki turned his head to the side to look at Kyou. "Love who?"
"Tohru." Kyou also turned to meet Yuki's eyes.
The violet-eyed male frowned. "She is my friend, and...I love her as a sister."
Kyou took a moment to let those words sink in. "Or a cousin?"
"A cousin?" Yuki wrinkled his brows together in confusion. "Perhaps, why?"
Kyou grinned slightly. "Too bad I can't switch places with her."
"If you could, would that make you want to be with me?"
"...That's not possible."
"But would you?"
"It can't happen, so that question is...irrelevant."
"Just answer it."
"...No."
Yuki turned all the way on his side and stared at Kyou. "Why?" He whispered.
"...I don't wanna think about something that can't happen."
"I see."
After much hesitation, Kyou asked, "Yuki, why don't you just drop the damn subject? I told you, we're not meant to be together. There's so much holding us apart, and, you're supposed to be with Tohru."
"Don't you ever stop thinking about what's 'supposed to happen', and start thinking about what is happening?" Yuki questioned.
"Why should I? All my life, I've relyed on fate to lead me in the right direction. It's not like I had anyone else to follow."
The rat's eyes flickered over Kyou's face. "Sometimes you just have to go with what seems right, and follow your heart."
Kyou snorted. "You have no idea how cheesy that was, Yuki."
Yuki chuckled. "Yes, for once, I agree with you, stupid cat."
"Damn rat."
Another pause.
"Just...promise me you will think about it, Kyou. Promise me, please."
Kyou closed his orbs stained crimson, and without thinking, he whispered, "Promise."
That was the last thing said for awhile. Both males just laid there, staring at the ceiling, lost in their own thoughts, when a voice called out, "Kyou! Yuki! Are you in here?"
They both scrambled up and rushed to the location where Tohru's voice was coming from.
"Yes, Miss Honda. We are here, don't worry," Yuki replied smoothly, smiling at the girl as he entered the room.
"Great! Sorry I stayed out so long, I just needed some fresh air! What would you like for dinner tonight?" Tohru asked sweetly.
"I'm going to bed, not hungry," Kyou grumbled.
The female's eyes widened. "Kyou! Are you sick? I hope not, I—"
"He's fine, Miss Honda. Don't worry, just a little tired," stated Yuki, covering for Kyou.
Kyou looked at his cousin gratefully before marching to his room, where he collapsed on his bed. He had a lot to think about.
'I can't deny that I had fun with Yuki today. I can't deny myself that I don't love him. And I can't deny myself that I want to be with him,' The cat told himself mentally. 'But...I know we can't be together. We'd just end up hurting each other. And Tohru. I know Tohru loves Yuki, and I'd just be taking him away from her. I can't do that, not after she's been so kind to me...'
And finally, the cat came up with a solution. A final one. Taking a pen and some paper out of a drawer, he began to write a letter.
Dear Yuki,
Today was one of the greatest days of my life, 'cause we just...seemed to fit together today. I know that made no sense, but, you know. I had fun. But I realized, that I can't do this. I know I promised you I'd think about it, and I have. I can't take you away from Tohru. She's..your true love. I know it. You told me to listen to my heart, and, well, I listened. In my heart I know what I'm doing is the best thing to do. Forgive me.
If we were supposed to be together, things wouldn't have turned out this way. I wouldn't have been the cat, and you the mouse. I wouldn't have been your cousin. I wouldn't have been male. And Tohru would've love you. You're smarter than me, Yuki. You understand...
Though, I do love you. And that has been the hardest thing for me to say.
Damn rat.
Goodbye forever,
Kyou
Kyou started to leave the note on his bed, but then, he hesitated. 'Is this really the right thing to do?' He asked himself.
"Yes," his heart whispered.
XxXxX
Four years later, Yuki and Tohru got married. When Kyou heard, he was really happy, and extremely depressed at the same time. It had came a shock to him when he received an invitation to the wedding.
The invitation had said:
Kyou:
You're invited to attend mine and Tohru's wedding. I'm sure you are wondering how I found out where you ran off to that night. Well, it took me a few years, but finally, I tracked you down.
When I read the letter you had left me, I was devastated. So was Tohru and Shigure. At first, we thought you had commited suicide, but then, we figured you'd probably have done it here and not somewhere else. I'm glad you're alive.
You may wonder how exactly our marriage will work since I'm still cursed. Well, it doesn't matter anymore, I don't suppose. You were always a strong believer that fate will show us the way, right? That's what we think now, too.
You always said Tohru was my true love. And as much as I hate to admit it, you were wrong. I do love Tohru, but I can't love her with all my heart.
You still have a piece of it.
Anyway, I hope you decide to come. All the Sohma's will be there, and as much as I know you hate our family, I still believe you should come.
Remember that book you were reading that one night? The one that was supposed to help you understand me better? I read it. It had all the facts wrong. You always were horrible at choosing what books had correct information.
Stupid cat.
Sincerely,
Yuki
Kyou put down the letter and smirked. "Tracked me down, eh? I should've known..."
Kyou sat down, still staring at the letter but not actually reading the words. "Getting married to Tohru. Well, I'm happy for you. Told you things were supposed to end this way. I guess...I really am stupid, because somewhere deep inside, I was hoping I was wrong."