Title: Family Matters
author: Jmaria
Rating: FR-18
Disclaimer: Joss is god, I am a lowly worshipper.
Spoilers: The series, but not the big damn movie. Also, for Baby on Board, Just Unsettlin', Nightmare Seduction, Nucleus, Not Whole, Mama Cobb, & Tiny Thing Like That - this list is gettin' frighteningly long.
Summary: It's family that keeps us grounded, even in our most uncertain states.
A/N: In which River freaks out about giving birth, cuz she does. Also, I spent my in-class doodling time writing out a fricken Cobb family tree! So far, not including Mattie, there are like 23 grandkids, and I only got up to Dewey. That's all my thirty minute class gave me time to get up to. My day's kinda sucked other than that.

Family Matters

The Cobbs were a lively, and down right odd bunch to dine with. Jayne's younger brothers all worked the farm, and the newly acquired cattle his money from the Ariel job had got them. Jayne sat with River, who was listening captivated by Evie's warm, comforting tone. He had his sisters' babies on his lap, the two year old Lorelai was falling asleep on his chest and little Jameson was trying to stick his fingers in Jayne's mouth. Mal fell out of his chair more than once at the sight of this. Evie held Logan's little one in her arms and was goin' on about the wonders of birth.

"I don't envy poor Brooke anything, you know. She's carryin' low, means her youngest'll be due soon. I remember when Jayne was born. He's my heaviest, you know. Somethin' like twelve pounds."

"Twelve pounds?" River asked, her eyes round with concern.

"Weren't nobody there but me and Mother Cobb, Jayne's granny. Had to break his shoulder just to get him out," Evie said, bouncing Brianna on her knee.

"Break . .."

"Doc who came through a day or so later said I mighta died, takin' Jayne 'long with me if Mother Cobb hadn't a done it."

River went very pale at this bit of information. She looked as if she'd get sick all over the place. She jumped up and raced back into the house.

"Oh, I am the biggest fool!" Evie cried. "I didn't even think -"

"River? What happened?" Simon asked, rising from his seat.

"Take the youngins," Jayne handed off his niece and nephew into the doctor's arms.

"I really think -" Simon started to say while stuggling to balance the fussing children in his arms.

"I got this," Jayne snapped.

River was hiding when he got to the house. She'd found his room, curled up in his old bed, sobbing painfully.

"What're you doin', Crazy?"

"Can't - haven't the strength to break a shoulder, I can't. Can't do this," River sobbed into his old pillow.

"Little late to be changin' yer mind," Jayne snapped.

"Saw it, didn't know," River reached forward, her hand touching his shoulder.

Her fingers brushed gently over his shoulder, tears in her eyes. Jayne stiffened, was gonna move so she wouldn't carry on so. How'd he end up bein' the guy ta go after her? She'd done somethin' that he didn't want, and yet, here he was, chasin' after her. Cryin' over a hurt he didn't remember none.

"Stop it, bones are more flexin'. Granny didn't harm it none, and twins're smaller. Won't be twelve pounds t'gether," Jayne said roughly.

"Didn't ask, took it anyway," River said tearfully. "I'm wrong, I'm sorry."

"Quitcha cryin' girl. Weren't like there's anybody else'd take it," Jayne joked.

"Plenty would, seen 'em. Eyes follow you like a thousand little knives. You don't see them."

Jayne stared at her, his mind fixed on figger'n out what the girl was tryin' to say. He couldn't though, she was a mind readin' genius and he was just -

"Don't think that way. Don't ever. More than just the sum of parts. Good, even when you're trying not to be. Strong, stubborn, loving." River said, taking his hand in hers and resting it gently on her stomach. "Perfect, in every imperfect way possible."

He could feel the warmth of her skin through the pretty dress Inara'd given her. Felt his children being kept safe and warm there. His. Theirs. Jayne's fingers tightened softly on the dress, seeing the girl in a light he'd never thought to look in.

"Jayne? River?" Evie called, stepping into the room. She bustled over to River, shoving Jayne out of the way. Evie pulled her into a warm hug. "Oh, River, dear, I didn't mean to go on that way. Weren't right of me, frightenin' you like that. All births aren't the same. I'm sure yours'll be much easier than Jayne's was on me. I didn't mean to make you cry, sweetheart."

"Just - all coming together too quickly - more than I thought," River gave the woman a watery smile.

"Well, Jayne didn't put me off a wantin' more children. Had ten more, and I'm still livin'," Evie chuckled.

"Must be made this way," River said quietly, looking back at Jayne.

Wash was crying. Buckets of tears. All because Brooke had told them how Jayne'd been the one to test their make-up. And that he'd kinda enjoyed it. He couldn't stop laughing. It was too priceless. Jayne wouldn't be thrilled, but Wash was enjoying his wallowing.

"How long do y'all reckon you'll be here on Cadence?" Brooke asked, taking a drink of water to stop her sudden bout of hiccups.

"Long nuff fer the weddin'," Jayne said gruffly, rejoining the group.

The crew noticed that Jayne's big hand swallowed River's, who followed him. Evie was beaming as she watched her son, and Brooke gave her mother a questioning look. Evie gave a slight nod, before turning back in to the house. Jayne must've noticed his mother leaving, because as soon as Brooke turned back to talk to her brother he had a cigar hanging limply from his lips, and a hand diggin in his pockets for a light.

"Jayne Cobb, you best get that cigar outta yer mouth," Brooke glared at him.

"Aww, Brooke, it ain't even lit," Jayne snapped.

"Don't you dare take that tone with me, boy," Brooke snapped right back, an evil little look in her eye. "I'm nine months along, and I got no reason to want my unborn youngin' exposed ta that filthy smoke."

"Comply," River said, poking him hard in the shoulder.

"Can we steer this here conversation in a direction that don't get me bruised by pointy-nailed fingers?" Jayne winced.

"Take that cigar out, and we surely can," Brooke smiled sweetly.

"Naw, girl," Jayne sneered, "You ain't my boss."

"Happens that I am," Mal said grinning.

The two Cobb siblings gave him a look that was down right frightenin' and an eerie sight to behold. Brooke's was accompanied by an eyeroll that firmly reminded Mal that she was a woman and a mother who'd spent a great deal of time around annoying men. Jayne's was topped off with an what're-you-smokin' look. River gave Mal a sympathetic look, as if she knew what he was goin' through. Mal decided that one was the most eerie of the three.

"You want me ta tell Ma yer endangerin' her unborn grandbaby?" Brooke said haughtily

"Sheeyit, Brooke," Jayne grumbled. "Now ya ain't gotta wonder why I named my hair-trigger after ya."

"That purty little Westchester Colt?" Brooke grinned, leaning forward on her elbows as if she were a child rather than middle-aged woman expecting her sixth child.

"That's the one."

"You been keepin' it up to snuff? Polishin' and cleanin' it and such?"

Jayne gave her a look, as if she were a child before nodding. Brooke grinned even wider and leaned forward to pop a kiss on her brother's scruffy cheek. The smile she gave her husband Angus was one of a know-it all, and Jayne reckoned his brother-in-law'd owe his wife some money later. Wash, however, was looking slightly confused.

"Am I missing something? He just told you that he named his very fickle gun after you," Wash asked.

"Hell, any girl in the 'verse'd be downright thrilled to have that honor. Colt's the best gorram gun been made inside the known 'verse for ten years. He didn't take good care a my baby, I'd haffta get a ruttin' chain and beat him with it," Brooke grinned.

"Where you think I picked up that purty piece, little man?" Jayne laughed.

"Won it in a Tall Card game 'bout twelve years back, but I was expectin' my second born and had a two year old underfoot. Can't have a hair-trigger lyin' round with a passel of critters underfoot, and Ma told me she was sendin' little brother here a care package, and I tucked my gun in careful like," Brooke laughed at the memory.

"Near shot off my gorram hand," Jayne finished.

"Well, that's just special," Wash muttered. "It's nice that your family has hilarious gun stories."

River took Jayne's hand in hers again, noticing for the first time the crescent shaped scar just below his right thumb. Barrel burn from the accidental firing. Burned a hole through the sweather Evie had made her. He hadn't been lying. Jayne needed more minding than Simon.

"So, Jayne, hear yer goin' down the aisle soon," Angus MacAvoy grinned, wrapping a hand around his wife.

Angus was a stout man, with a face that tended towards red rather often. He'd grown up on Cadence, like the Cobbs'. Jayne hadn't much cared one way or the other bout the man, till he started courtin' and cattin' bout with his sister. Got into a brawl or three, but he was as good a man as any.

"Yeah, in a week's time," Jayne replied, reachin' for his cup.

"That soon?" Simon asked, startled.

"No reason why it should wait," Jayne answered.

"Never thought we'd see ya married off," Angus chuckled. "Gonna have to kick our heels at bachelorhood in the old Cobb style, eh?"

"No whores, or women who take their clothes off, but you may drink," River said suddenly, a smile on her lips.

Jayne and Simon stared at her in open-mouthed horror, while Angus, Brooke, Mal and Wash all started cackling. River's smile got bigger.

A/N 2: Next part, bachelor party, picking the bridal party, and surprises.
Family tree:

Evangeline Jayne (58) & Alistair Cobb (d.)

- Brooke (39) & Angus MacAvoy (41)

- Yosef (14)

- Caleb (12)

- Estelle (9)

- Pietro (6)

- Temperance (3)

- baby (?)

- Jayne (37) & River Tam (18)

- twins (?)

- Jasmine (35) & Hoss Chien (40)

- Janet (16)

- Avery (14)

- Morgan (10)

- Eliza (9)

- Amy (7)

- Virgil (5)

- Jameson (1)

- Enid (33) & Daniel Bakov (39)

- Maya (12)

- Daniel, jr. (10)

- Edmund (5)

- Lorelai (2)

- Dwayne (Dewey) (29) & Brigitte Cairo (27)

- Martha (13)

- Hannibal (12)

- Mason (11)

- Stewart (10)

- Alistair (7)

- Elaine (3)

- Martian (29) & Bai Lewis(25)

- Dixie (11)

- Patsy (6)

- Ann (4)

- Rochelle (27) & Boone Svenson (26)

- Kylie Anne (8)

- Isaac (5)

- Steven (25) & Rose Cairo (23)

- Dean (7)

- Bernard (5)

- Natasha (23) & Hugo Kamen(26)

- Lorna (4)

- Dunn (2)

- Logan (21) & Bethany Sims(20)

- Brianna (1)

- Phoebe (15)

- Mattie (7)