Title: Gathering, Hootenanny, or a Shindig (pt. 1)
author: Jmaria
Rating: FR-18
Disclaimer: Joss is god, I am a lowly worshipper.
Spoilers: The series, but not the big damn movie. Also, for Baby on Board, Just Unsettlin', Nightmare Seduction, Nucleus, Not Whole, Mama Cobb, Tiny Thing Like That, & Family Matters
Summary: What is this thing, 'xactly?
A/N: Friday was absolute hell - and as a result, I spent the entire weekend far away from my comp. But I did get cozy with a notebook and my sister's shiny new computer. The title for this part is ripped off completely from a Buffy episode.

Gathering, Hootenanny, or a Shindig (part 1)

The crew, minus Simon, River, Kaylee, and Jayne, had returned to the ship that evening. Evie Cobb insisted that River and Simon sit a spell to discuss the wedding, and Kaylee offered to stay with them. It was nearin' 1 a.m. by the time the married Cobb children herded up their young'uns and headed on home.

Phoebe and Mattie kissed their mother and brother good-night before heading up the stairs to their rooms. Of course, they waited at the top of the stairs so they could eavesdrop.

"So, we've got some plannin' to do, such as bridesmaids an' the like," Evie said smiling.

"Planning?" Simon asked. "I assumed they would be having a small ceremony, with Shepherd Book reading the vows?"

The words were like acid in his mouth, and he found himself sickened a little bit more each time he thought of River and Jayne together. But they'd already been together, had proof of their union. Simon felt the oddly wonderful dinner the Cobb women had made rising up in protest.

"Well, a'course the preacher is gonna be the one to marry 'em. He's little River's preacher, and it's always the bride's holy man who reads over the couple. Little things need a bit of ironin' out, such as if'n your daddy's gonna come to walk her down the aisle," Evie said smiling, while giving Simon a look that all but willed him to say something contrary.

Kaylee, Jayne, and Simon exchanged looks at Evie's comment about Mr. Tam. How do you tell yer mother that the woman you're fixin' on marryin's a fugee?

"Haven't got a father, Simon'll walk me and give me away," River said quietly. "He's gone, too far removed to find. Mal and Book, they've stepped forward but it's really Simon's duty to let me go."

"Oh, I didn't - Jayne, why didn't you tell me?" Evie slapped at her son's shoulder, tears of embarrassment forming in her eyes.

"Ow, tell ya what?" Jayne yelled.

"That her daddy . . . passed on?" Evie said gently.

"I ain't never met the man, how's I supposed ta know?" Jayne snapped. River frowned and smacked him again. "Gorramit girl, whaddya do that fer?"

"Not polite to be snappy with Mother Cobb. You made her cry. Apologize."

"Apologize for what? I'm the one who got hit on twice!"

River gave him a stern look, and since Jayne'd never been one to stand seein' his mother cry, he apologized. Simon still hadn't said anything, not even an exceptance of his duty. Kaylee figgered he was trying not to think on it.

"Simon'll be glad to walk you down the aisle, River," Kaylee said brightly, her grin getting bigger just from the shocked and slightly ill look on Simon's face.

"I'd make him Maid of Honor, but he'd look silly in the dress," River sighed at Simon. Ingoring Jayne's guffaw, she turned to Kaylee. "You'll be it, won't you Kaylee?"

"Me? I'd love to be it, River."
"We can talk this all over in the morning, I reckon we should get on to bed now. Jayne's old room's got an extra bed in it for Simon, River and Kaylee can bunk up in the girls' room. Got plenty of spare beds and probably some nightgowns for you to wear as well. Sure Phoebe's still up, so she can show you where to find 'em."

At the top of the stairs, Phoebe was pullin' on Mattie and draggin' her to their room. If'n Mama caught em they'd have extra chores for the whole week. Phoebe was mullin' over what River'd said. It didn't settle right for some reason.

"That girl Jayne's marrying sure is odd," Phoebe whispered to Mattie.

"River's nice, don't be mean on her, Pheebs," Mattie said defensively.

"She's - there's somethin' not right 'bout her, Mattie. Ain't bein' mean."

"Is too. River makes Jaynie happy. Ain't nobody made Jaynie real happy since Pop-pop died four years back. I 'member how bad he cried, don't seem right fer you to be hatin' on River when she makes him all manner a happy," Mattie said frowning.

"Oh, soak yer head," Phoebe said angrily, knowing full well why Jayne'd been cryin' like that last time he'd set foot on Cadence.

Mattie recoiled, watching Phoebe stomp off. Phoebe liked to be mad at the world, got shorter fused with her all the time. Cause Mattie was sick, cause Mattie got more attention, cause she was stuck bein' the responsible one.

"Mattie? What're you doin' outta bed?" River asked, restin' her hand on Mattie's shoulder.

"Phoebe got mad, didn't want to get a pillow chucked at me."

"Well, not like she'll chuck one at us, right?" Kaylee said brightly. "I'll go talk to her, make sure she's not so mad anymore, okay?"

"Thanks, Kaylee."

River sat down on the top step, her hand still on Mattie's shoulder. The girl looked sad and confused, and River had all the answers in the 'verse for her. She couldn't speak, couldn't break the silence that had formed a gap of hostility between the two 'sisters'.

"Siblings are boobs sometimes. Don't know how to say what they mean, she loves you the same."

"Yer brother ever snap at you fer no reason?"

"Yes, when I hit him."

"That's a reason," Mattie said smilin'.

"He didn't think it was."

The wedding was set for the end of the week, just three days time, with Simon walking her down the aisle. River found herself surrounded by the Cobb women each and every day planning for a wedding that grew bigger by the second. River'd been very firm on how many bridesmaids she wanted. Three, with Mattie as flower girl. The nieces and nephews weren't overly heartbroken, like Jayne most of 'em weren't keen on dressin up in frilly things. Phoebe was, which was why River'd chosen her as the third bridesmaid.

Bout the only place you could go on Cadence without hearing about the Jayne Cobb's upcomin' nuptials was on board Serenity. It was drivin' him as batty as his blushin', psychotic bride, bein' surrounded by all hemmin' and hawin' by the womenfolk. By the time he'd stormed up to the bridge to get to the lockers, River'd already beat him there and was chatting up Wash.

"So, you've got Kaylee and Jayne's sister. Who's your third?" Wash was asking River. She'd come up to ask him and Mal to stand up for Jayne, who wasn't eager to be a participant in all the planning.

"Zoe," River'd said calmly.

"Zoe? My wife?" Wash cried.

"You wanted her in a slinky dress," River shrugged.

"Slinky dress?" Wash grinned.

"I here one more word 'bout this gorram weddin', I'm gonna hafta shoot somebody," Jayne growled, ingoring the little shiver River made as he said it.

"Dewey's throwing a bachelor party," River called as he stormed off the bridge.

"Bachelor party?" Wash asked.

"Ancient ritual involving bridegrooms, vats of alcohol, and ocassionally naked women, often prostitutes and usually sticking money in their underwear," River sighed. "Often tempts husbands to do it for the last time before the ball and chain is shackled to the ring-finger. It doesn't bode well for his head."

"No, because Jayne's never gotten drunk and passed out before," Wash said flatly.

"There's going to be a fight. His head will be hit with a pool cue. You'll get a fat lip, make the vids look bad," River frowned, following Jayne's direction.

"Or we could not go," Wash forced himself to laugh, because when River did that it was just a mite creepifying.

"Can't not go. It's tradition," River called over her shoulder. "Answer the wave, it's important."

"Huh?" Wash stared at her for only half a second, because an incoming wave cut him off from asking her what the hell she was talking about. "That girl is insanely frightening."

"Mother's coming home. Daddy'll be so thrilled," River muttered to herself.

The crew of Serenity hadn't spent their time idly while on Cadence. Mal'd help on the Cobb's small ranch, and thinking of his home on Shadow. Kaylee, when not busy helping with the wedding plans, set herself to workin' on any busted mechanical things. Wash did the same. Shepherd Book visited the local pastor. River spent much of her time with the Cobbs, learning as much as she could about Jayne, absorbing the memories and love that had surrounded a man more'n a few thought incapable of inspiring so much love. The only two members of Serenity who'd found themselves at odds were Simon and Zoe. Simon because he was still angry and Zoe because there was little she could find herself doing. Some days she spent with the women, others with Wash or helping with the household chores.

Simon sat stiffly on the porch swing three days before the wedding. He was angry, confused, and well, angry come up more often than not. He hadn't noticed Evie until he felt the swing shift with the added weight.

"You been out here ponderin' all manner a things, doctor. Care to share 'em with an old woman?" Evie smiled, an oddly comforting thing until he remembered this was the mother of the man who was marrying his little sister.

"I'm pondering how I got my sister into this situation," Simon muttered. "How this whole mess is my fault."

"Mess? Seems to me as if little River's old enough to make her own mind up," Evie said quietly, watching the boy as he unraveled.

"Make up her own mind?"

"She chose this life, chose my Jayne to be the one for her. Wouldn't have chosen love."

"Love? You imagine that they're in love?" Simon cried. "They're not in love! River got pregnant and - and he became all - noble! There's nothing right or chosen in it!"

Evie was quiet for a spell, and Simon feared he'd spoken on a level the woman couldn't grasp. She was Jayne's mother after all. But the woman raised her eyes and looked at him in such a manner that showed more wisdom, Simon felt like eating his words.

"I know you're not fond of my Jayne. After all, you and your crew only see what he chooses to show, and he is marryin' your mei-mei. You see the stone-cold mercenary side that he thinks he hides from his kin. Means you don't see him at all. Jayne may not be eighteen colors of brilliant like you, but he's a good man." Evie fisted her hands tightly in her apron, and Simon felt like he ought to be ashamed. "Do you ever ask him, doctor, what made him so cold? Made him turn to bein' a hired gun, when he coulda been a farmer or a carpenter like his Pop? He won't tell you, but he's told me, so I know the full measure of my son. Mayhap it's time you got off your laurels, Simon. Cold hard truth is River chose him. She's kin, and her happiness is all that should matter to you."