Disclaimer:

I do not own any of the Crossing Jordan Characters and this is meant only as personal entertainment.

PART FOUR

Time ceased to exist for everyone. Nigel sat next to Lily, holding her until she couldn't cry anymore. Then they were simply silent in each other's arms, not daring to look at Bug or Macy who hovered around them in concern.

"I want to go home." Lily finally whispered. "I can't be here right now."

"I'll take you Lily." Bug said softly. "Come on, let me help you get your things." He held out his hand to her. "Come on." Finally she released Nigel and stood on watery legs, allowing Bug to guide her out the door and into her office.

"How about you Nigel?" Macy asked. "Why don't you go on ho…."

"I want to see her Dr. Macy." Nigel looked at him through red-rimmed eyes. He wasn't waiting for Macy to give him permission as much as letting the older man know, he was going to look at the woman. Finally Macy nodded. "Thank you."

So Macy followed the tall man back to where Christina's body lay, fully draped with the white sheet. He watched from the door, not willing to disturb this final moment of privacy.

Carefully, Nigel removed the sheet from her face, gazing at her bruised skin. After a moment, he methodically began folding the material from her body bit by bit. After each crease, he would stop and look at her skin, grief and sadness building within his soul. There were so many bruises, scrapes and other wounds; he didn't know where to begin.

"Dr. Macy." He looked up, pleading with his eyes and waited till the older man came closer. "Take me through what you found."

"Nigel I don't…"

"Dr. Macy, please! Just tell me what you found." He looked down at the woman. "I want…no, I need to know."

"Okay." Macy took a deep breath and began speaking slowly. After only a couple of seconds Nigel looked up, covering his eyes with his hands. "Nigel?"

"How could someone do something like this? Everything that brought her pleasure, used against her, used to murder her slowly."

"Pleasure?" Macy looked confused.

"Here, these are marks left by an electro-stimulator. And here, her wrist and ankles, those were made by a nylon rope." He pointed as he spoke.

"And you know this how?"

"I know this because I've made some of these same marks on her body, only never this severe." Before Macy could interrupt, he continued. "Christina was a bit of a masochist. She received the most pleasure by…"

"You hurt her on purpose?" Macy looked at Nigel in disbelief. "How could you?"

"I never did anything she didn't ask, no, beg me to do." Anger filled his voice. "Her choices, her wants and needs. It was her sexuality." There was a long silence between the two men. "It took me a long time to be comfortable doing what she asked, but after a while, especially when I saw how much pleasure she seemed to derive from it…."

"You don't have to explain anymore Nigel." Macy sighed deeply. "I don't think I want to know anymore."

"No I guess you don't. Wouldn't fit into your nice, orderly, sanitized world now, would it?" Nigel growled as he gently brushed Christina's hair from off her forehead. "I want to be alone with her Dr. Macy." He never looked up as his still shocked employer backed out of the room. His hands stroked her forehead and cheeks carefully as his tears flowed down his own face. "I'm so sorry Christina." He whispered as his eyes gazed from her face, over her body and to her feet. "I'll find him and make him pay dearly for this, I swear to you." He reached down and grabbed the edge of the sheet, and reluctantly covered her with it. "You rest now. I'll take care of everything." He kissed her cool lips lightly and brought the sheet over her face. "I promise."

For a moment, he thought his body would betray him as his knees threatened to buckle. Bracing himself with the edge of the table, he regained his composure and began walking toward the door, screams of anguish echoing in his mind. In the hallway, he looked at Macy's closed door. He could see the man sitting at his desk, his back facing the door. Running fingers through his hair, he took a deep breath, and then knocked swiftly, opening the door without waiting for an invitation.

"Dr. Macy." He entered sheepishly. "I…" he stammered nervously. "Listen, what I said back there…"

"It's okay." Macy turned and looked at Nigel. "Look, you're under a lot of stress and…"

"That's not an excuse. I do want to apologize." He sat and leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees. "I respect you and…."

"Apology accepted." Macy said abruptly. "Look, you really need to go home and rest."

"I…" Nigel started to argue but decided it would be useless. "Okay. I'll take a few days off and get my head together, make some phone calls and help with the arrangements."

"Sounds like a plan." Macy cracked a sympathetic smile. "You know Woody will probably need to talk to you again. There's still the situation of this guy that looks like he could be your twin brother."

"I'm fully aware of that fact." He growled. "Dr. Macy, who is he? Why would he want to hurt Christina?" He didn't wait for an answer. "I'll call if I need anything." He turned to leave, stopping when he heard Macy stand.

"Nigel, don't do anything reckless." Nigel could only nod half heartedly before leaving the office and heading down the hallway.