Chapter 11: One More Time

I've been meditating every morning to keep myself in check. James tried poking fun at me and I got agitated and froze his foot to the floor. It was hard to feel bad when I saw him flail his arms before face-planting onto the ground. Don't think I've ever seen the Marauders laugh so hard... Siri mildly suggested that the meditating thing might not be working out. But I can't give up on it yet.

Leo lay awake that night, staring up at the darkened ceiling of his dorm room. His conversation with Harry kept replaying itself over and over again, as though his mind was trying to come up with an answer to his question. This bothered him quite a bit. Normally, he was very sure of himself, confident in whatever course of action he pursued or decision he made. Now, however...

He frowned, rolling over to stare at his curtains in the direction Harry was sleeping. Harry had been nervous when he had asked his question – the closest he had come to asking if he had actually killed Quirrell. Would that nervousness turn to fear if Leo said he was all right with killing Umbridge? Would Harry turn away from him if he became a murderer? If he killed for a second time? Leo shuddered at the thought, not sure he wanted to live in a world where Harry hated him.

Unable to deal with these thoughts any longer, he opened his hangings and swung his legs over the bed. He cast a Silencing Charm around him as he went to his trunk, changed into his school things, and grabbed his Map. He exited the dorm room, releasing his charm as he did so before opening the Map and looking it over. He traced a path along the Map, finding the best route that would lead him onto the grounds before nodding in satisfaction.

He made his way out of Gryffindor tower, down the stairs, and through several hidden passageways without much trouble, only stopping a few times when Filch or Peeves came along a corridor. He exited through the great oak double doors, running down the grounds as he quickly stuffed his Map in the pockets of his robes. He inhaled deeply before falling forward, turning into his lion form before he ran. All thoughts, all worries, and all fears that had kept him from sleeping faded away at once.

His paws pounded silently across the ground as he ran, enjoying the feel of the wind ruffling his mane and the tantalizing scents of the various forest creatures assaulting his nose. He ran around the grounds a few times, enjoying the freedom and wide-open space before he ran into the forest, hiding in the shadows as he panted heavily. He gave a wide yawn, his tongue stretching out before he rested his head on his paws and slowly drifted off to sleep.

Sunlight pierced through the trees hours later, dappling his golden coat with sunlight as he slowly blinked awake. He gave another wide yawn before shaking out his mane and sitting back on his haunches. He glanced up in the direction of the castle, seriously debating even returning that day. He much preferred running about in his lion form than going back to the same place Umbridge currently dwelled. For now. He amended, his eyes twinkling with mischief.

He rose to his paws, stretching lightly and shaking out his mane once more before returning to his human form. He walked nonchalantly across the grounds, approaching the oak doors far sooner than he would've liked. He slid into the entrance hall, prepared to slip into the crowd of people when someone pulled him off to the side and into a hidden corner. A quick sniff told him it was Draco and not some sort of enemy.

He turned to face the pale boy, raising an eyebrow at his mildly irate expression.

"You slept in the forest last night, didn't you?" Draco demanded.

"How'd you know?" Leo frowned.

"You've got twigs and leaves in your hair, you daft moron," Draco rolled his eyes before lowering his voice to a low hiss. "Wish you'd let me know that you're going out before you do. Jet's been dying to stretch his wings."

"It's usually a last-minute thing," Leo shrugged. "If it makes you feel any better, I don't invite Harry and we share the same dorm."

Draco was silent for a moment, considering this.

"It does, actually," he eventually said. "Least we'll be able to go out tonight."

Leo nodded eagerly, glad he'd have something to look forward to once his detention with Umbridge was done. He was about ready to head back toward the Great Hall for breakfast when Draco stopped him, reminding him that he still had leaves and twigs in his hair. The pale blonde then took out his wand, blasting Leo's face with a mild wind charm. His hair looked wild and crazy afterward, but at least the debris was gone.

He thanked Draco before racing off to the Great Hall and looking around fervently. He smiled broadly when he spotted Luna at the Ravenclaw table and strode over to her, sitting down beside her as though this was a regular occurrence. Which it wasn't.

"Oh, hello, Leo," she said, blinking at him.

"Hiya, Luna," he grinned in response. "So, listen, I was thinking, we haven't really spent much time together this term so... I was sorta wondering if maybe you'd like to have lunch together out on the grounds? We can have a picnic and just lounge around outside."

"That sounds lovely," Luna smiled brightly. "But I have some homework I need to catch up on -"

"I can help you," Leo replied eagerly. "We can eat and work on your homework. Should be easy once we put both of our brilliant minds together."

"Oh, all right then," she nodded. "It's a date."

Leo grinned broadly in response. It faded quickly into a scowl as he saw Umbridge make her entrance into the Great Hall. Once more, he was surprised to see her walk instead of hop. Not wanting to get Luna into trouble, he swiftly gave her a peck on the cheek before rising and striding nonchalantly over to the Gryffindor table, where he took his seat next to Draco just as Harry sat across from him, looking quite pleased with himself.

"What are you two looking so pleased about?" said Ron, eyeing Harry and Leo in surprise.

"Erm... Quidditch later," said Harry happily, pulling a large platter of bacon and eggs toward him as Leo gave a small shrug.

"Oh... yeah..." said Ron. He put down the bit of toast he was eating and took a large swig of pumpkin juice. Then he said, "Listen... you don't fancy going out a bit earlier with me, do you? Just to — er — give me some practice before training? So I can, you know, get my eye in a bit..."

"Yeah, okay," said Harry.

"Mind if I join you?" Leo inquired. "Been itching to fly for a while now, and this'll be my only chance since I have detention with Umbridge this afternoon."

"'Course you can," Harry grinned.

Ron didn't seem to know whether or not he should be upset or happy that Leo would be attending his training session. Leo didn't blame him, he knew he tended to be a bit of a git to Ron. But, Ron had the same tendency, so it sort of evened out in his book. Besides, he wouldn't be participating much in Ron's practice, he was more looking forward to flying about and catching the Snitch.

"Look, I don't think you should," said Hermione seriously, "you're all really behind on homework as it —"

"I'm not," Leo informed her through a mouth full of eggs. "I get all my work done in Binns's class or during lunch. Frees me up to make mischief afterward."

Hermione didn't seem to know whether to be impressed that he was caught up on his work or peeved that he spent Binns's class doing homework rather than paying attention. Although, given who Leo was, she supposed it was a miracle in and of itself that he even bothered coming to Binns's class let alone do any sort of work in it.

"What about Umbridge's essay?" Draco questioned.

"What about it?" Leo replied testily, narrowing his eyes.

"Did you do it?"

"I think we're better off not having Leo write anything for Umbridge," Harry advised, recalling what his cousin wrote during their detentions together.

The others thought about it for a moment before conceding that he had a point. Leo turned back to his eggs, satisfied that he didn't have to answer any more questions about Umbridge. The owls flew down at that moment, two of them handing Draco and Hermione copies of the Daily Prophet and another dropping off a copy of The Quibbler for Leo. They all deposited their money before disappearing behind their individual papers.

"Anything interesting?" said Ron.

"No," Hermione sighed, "just some guff about the bass player in the Weird Sisters getting married..."

"Fudge is building up an army of flaming demons," Leo informed them, scanning over the page. "Wonder if he'll let them loose over the school like he did with the dementors? Sounds like the sort of incompetent thing he'd do."

The others snorted before Hermione and Draco returned to their papers and Harry and Ron turned back to breakfast. It was only a minute later that Draco scowled and showed them an article in the paper. It was about some bloke named Sturgis Podmore who had been caught snooping in a restricted area and had been sentenced to six months in Azkaban. Privately, Leo wasn't sure if the man would come out with his soul intact if the dementors truly were outside Ministry control.

"Sturgis Podmore?" said Ron slowly, "but he's that bloke who looks like his head's been thatched, isn't he? He's one of the Ord —"

"Quiet, Weasley," Draco hissed, looking around furtively.

"Six months in Azkaban!" whispered Harry, shocked. "Just for trying to get through a door!"

"Don't be silly, it wasn't just for trying to get through a door — what on earth was he doing at the Ministry of Magic at one o'clock in the morning?" breathed Hermione.

"D'you reckon he was doing something for the Order?" Ron muttered.

"Maybe he was guarding whatever it was Voldy's after?" Leo frowned in thought. "Maybe the Ministry's got ahold of it and that's why it's not in his possession yet? Awful hard to get something that's hidden in a place where people think you're dead."

"I'd think that would make it easier," Harry furrowed his brow in confusion. "He can just sneak in there and get it -"

"But that would ruin his plans," Draco shook his head. "Building up his army in secret while the Ministry doesn't have a clue is a brilliant strategy – one Dumbledore himself is employing. It'd muck everything up if he revealed himself now."

"What I want to know is why Podmore was trying to get through the door," Hermione frowned, looking quite thoughtful. "If he's guarding the thing, why would he go after it?"

"It could be a frame-up!" Ron exclaimed excitedly. "No — listen!" he went on, dropping his voice dramatically at the threatening look on Draco and Hermione's faces. "The Ministry suspects he's one of Dumbledore's lot so — I dunno — they lured him to the Ministry, and he wasn't trying to get through a door at all! Maybe they've just made something up to get him!"

Draco and Leo exchanged a thoughtful look. It was certainly plausible. Fudge was trying to root out Dumbles's supporters, so the idea that he would frame Podmore wasn't quite that far-fetched. Or, maybe, Podmore really was trying to get through the door, but not on purpose? Leo frowned, pushing his eggs around thoughtfully. Maybe someone Confunded him or put him under the Imperius Curse? I'd think they'd check for that once they caught him but... Fudge wouldn't care. It's just more ammo to use against Dumbledore.

Thoughts similar to these swirled around Leo's mind as he made his way down to the Quidditch Pitch alongside Harry and Ron. Why was Podmore trying to get through the door? Was he being forced? Was he after the prophecy? Was it really just a frame-up as Ron had suggested? Beating your head against the problem won't get it solved. Leo scolded himself. Best just to ask Dad about it when I see him tonight.

Upon his arrival at the pitch, Leo immediately took to the skies, laughing loudly as he soared well-above the stadium, almost touching the clouds. He looped through the air, doing various corkscrews and loops on his Firebolt before leaning forward into a steep dive. He pulled up at the last possible second, the tips of his feet barely brushing along the grass as he zoomed upward once more. He practiced his dives several more times as Harry and Ron practiced, now and again stealing the Quaffle in midair and lobbing it at one of the goalposts.

Miraculously, Ron actually caught it a few times, and Leo couldn't help but be impressed as he continued with his own flying. He practiced broom surfing, wobbling a few feet off the ground and wondering how his dad was able to keep his balance much less leap from his broom, grab the Snitch, and grab back onto it. There has to be some sort of trick to it. He huffed as he fell from his broom for the third time.

He decided to call it quits then and headed up to the castle to shower, change, and sneak down to the kitchens in preparation for his and Luna's lunch date. The elves were only too happy to oblige his request, and he spent his time waiting for them having a conversation with Dobby about his former master, Draco. Dobby didn't seem too convinced that Draco had really changed, but didn't really say much against it as Leo was presented with a basket of food and watched as he walked out.

Leo hummed to himself as he walked down the hall and quickly arrived at the entrance hall. Luna appeared shortly after, carrying her hefty book bag. Leo offered to carry it for her but was reminded that he was already carrying the picnic basket and she was fully capable of carrying her own things. He merely shrugged in response before walking her out of the hall, across the grounds, and over to the beech tree overlooking the lake. He placed down the sheet the house-elves had been kind enough to provide and set out various sandwiches, fruits, and vegetables.

He sat down, grinning broadly when Luna sat beside him and began taking books and parchment out of her bag. He helped her out with various essays – thankfully they were two of the three subjects he was best at: Transfiguration and Charms. They worked on the Summoning Charm for a bit, stopping only when Luna continuously summoned the cantaloupe he was trying to eat from his hand. Switching spells were a bit more difficult, given they didn't have the items necessary to practice it. Nonetheless, Leo did his best to explain the theory in the simplest terms he could. All that was left was -

"Summarizing Chapter one of Defensive Magical Theory," Luna stated.

Leo stared at her for a moment before scowling.

"Sorry, Luna, you're on your own there," he informed her. "I've made a decision not to do any work for Umbridge's class."

"Won't she fail you?"

"I reckon she'll do it regardless, so why would I even bother wasting my time?" he snorted. "Besides, I never did any work in Lockhart's class, and I'm still here."

"I remember Lockhart," Luna nodded slowly. "He was very colorful – and you were quite mean to him."

"Yeah, I know," Leo shrugged, not seeming entirely bothered by it. "But he did steal credit for work others did, made a killing off of it, and then tried to erase mine and my friends' memories when we found out. That git deserved what he got."

"You didn't know all that before you met him though," Luna reminded him. "Why did you hate him so much?"

Leo blinked at her, having not really thought about it. He'd loathed Lockhart the moment he laid eyes on him, and that loathing had only deepened when he finally met the man and discovered all the atrocious things he had done. But, despite being a bumbling fool, Lockhart wasn't evil just... a fame whore. He was someone who craved attention, someone who enjoyed being in the spotlight – reveled in it really. Oh.

"I suppose it's because he reminds me a bit of myself – and not just because we're both blonde with blue eyes," Leo frowned in distaste. "We both enjoy the spotlight. We're both vain and egotistical but... I think what I hated most about him is what he pretended to be. He acted like a hero, a conqueror, and a savior. He acted as though the world owed him for deeds he could never have accomplished and flaunted those deeds at every opportunity. He was a liar but... he didn't just lie to everyone else, he lied to himself."

He turned his head to gaze out over the lake, his scowl now back in place as he clenched his fists.

"I hate people who lie to themselves and pretend to be someone they're not. I think people should embrace who they are – whether they're weak or strong or good or evil. You shouldn't turn your back on yourself just because you're worried about what others may think. You can lie to the world all you want, but you should never lie to yourself," he finished.

Luna was silent for a moment, staring at him unblinkingly as she digested what he said. She then turned her head to follow his gaze. They sat there in silence for a moment before Leo felt something on his hand and glanced down to see the tips of Luna's fingers were on his own. He blinked at her.

"You hate Lockhart because, if you don't, you're afraid you'll turn into him," Luna said simply.

"Suppose that's one way of putting it," Leo conceded before shaking his head. "Anyway, we should probably pack up soon, I'm sure lunch is almost over and I have a detention to get to."

Luna merely nodded and helped him pack up without a word before walking up to the castle with him. She surprised him by holding his hand, using the tips of her fingers as though she was unsure of what she was doing. Leo didn't push it, letting her do whatever she was comfortable with as they neared the great oak doors. They stopped at the threshold where she informed him she'd take care of the basket so he wouldn't be late for his detention. He nodded in gratitude, shared a quick kiss with her, and made his way up the grand staircase to the toad's office.

He stood outside her door, heaving a deep sigh as he knocked on her door and was bade to enter. He entered the office, staring around with complete and utter revulsion before his gaze alighted on Umbridge, who was smiling her wide toad smile behind her desk. A piece of parchment and the black quill rested on the table, waiting for him to commence his daily dose of torture.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Black," Umbridge said in her usual sickly-sweet tone.

It would be if I didn't have to deal with you. He scowled, biting his tongue to refrain from saying it aloud. Getting under Umbridge's skin was only really worth it if there was an audience around. That way, he could inspire others to do the same. At least, that's what he told himself as he sat down at the table without a word.

"Mr. Black," Umbridge spoke again. "When someone says 'good afternoon', the proper way to respond is with 'good afternoon, Professor Umbridge'."

Well, I don't really want to insult anyone by calling them your name. Leo suppressed a roll of his eyes as he pulled the paper toward him and picked up the quill. He stared at both the quill and the paper with increasing amounts of trepidation, not really wanting to carve into his hand again. It had been one thing to do it while Harry was there – moral support and all that. But, doing it with just him and Umbridge...

Leo blinked slowly as a realization dawned on him. The black quills were no doubt illegal. Why was he using them to carve into his hand over and over again when he could just turn them into McGonagall and get this fat toad arrested? Because Umbridge could just say they were mine – that I did this to myself. The only way to get her is to be caught in the act. The only way to do that is to have Minnie stumble on another detention with us... which means I have to go through this again.

He withheld a groan as he looked at Umbridge, who continued to smile widely at him as though she were about to eat him. Getting detention from her wasn't the issue. Pushing the right buttons – the fun ones – was. But, he was never one to turn down a challenge or pass up an opportunity to ruin the life of someone he hated.

"He'll never love you, you know," Leo informed her, leaning back in his seat and raising an eyebrow.

Umbridge looked taken aback.

"I beg your pardon, Mr. Black?"

"Begging's nice, but you'll have to work a lot harder than that to get a pardon from me," he withheld a grin, making sure his tone was as smooth and calm as he could get it. "I'm talking about dear old Fudge. I know you're in love with him – or, at the very least, his power and his money, Lord knows it can't be for his looks or personality. But he'll never love you back. You're just a very ugly means to some equally horrendous end -"

"Detention, Black!" she snapped.

"I'm well-aware of where we are," Leo replied before blinking at her slowly and plastering on a mildly concerned expression. "Are you all right? Are you having a stroke? Do you smell toast?"

"Double detention! Monday, five o'clock!" she snarled.

Leo managed to force down a satisfied smirk as he turned back to his given assignment. He picked up his quill, feeling his hand shake slightly as he began to write the first of many letters that would soon forever be engraved on his hand. Just one more time, Leo. Just one more. He told himself over and over again as pain lanced through him repeatedly. You'll only have to do this one more time, then you'll be saved. Minnie will save you.