Disclaimer: The usual. I don't own anything.
A/N: The grounders in my story may sound different from the way they were in Season 02. It's because I'm mixing them from their progression in the show with the book. They are more understanding and reasonable.
When morning came, the grounders got busy with their daily activities. The delinquents stayed where they slept until they were served breakfast by the grounders at the village. Unlike dinner, the delinquents ate separate from the grounders and waited patiently for whatever was supposed to happen that day.
Clarke decided to risk it and went to the healing huts where some of her people were taken in. She was happy to see them well cared for. Their injuries were treated with the poultice she has seen before. The red seaweed the grounders used was visible in the poultice packs. She checked with them anyway to see if they have been mistreated and they assured her that they were given good care and the healers were friendly.
Satisfied and feeling safer than before, she walked amongst the village. She saw a few grounders stare at her, but most just ignored her and mind their own works. She got lost in her way back to her group and she wandered around aimlessly, observing the grounders.
"Clarke" Someone shouting her name had her turn around towards their direction. She saw Octavia run toward her with Lincoln tailing behind. Clarke felt dread course through her at the chat she is about to have.
Octavia came at her like a force and hugged her. Clarke was caught surprised, hugged her back hesitantly. Octavia let her go and she was smiling. Clarke could see that the wound in her leg had healed, seeing how she was able to run that fast. By that time, Lincoln had reached them both and stood by Octavia, smiling at Clarke.
"You guys made it." Octavia exclaimed. "Indra told us that the commander ordered Anya to stop the attack, but we were worried it may be too late. We were coming for you when we heard you reached here. So, we turned around." She kept talking and Clarke remained silent, smiling awkwardly.
Lincoln must have noticed Clarke's sombre mood as his smile faded and he placed a hand on Octavia's shoulder. Octavia was oblivious to Clarke's mood and Lincoln's subtle action as she kept talking.
"Where's the rest of the gang?" She asked, looking over Clarke to the corners of the village as she could see. When she couldn't find anyone, she looked back at Clarke. "Where's Bellamy?" She asked, excited at the prospect of seeing her brother.
Something must have clicked for Octavia when she saw Clarke was avoiding her eyes and looking as if she would rather be anywhere but in front of her. And her lack of response about Bellamy's whereabouts made her queasy with fear.
"Clarke. Where's Bellamy?" Octavia asked in an even voice, devoid of the excitement from before. There was an underlying threat in that question that demanded an answer or face the consequences.
Clarke gulped, trying to find the strength to speak. She had avoided looking at Octavia in fear of her seeing the truth. Now that she realized Octavia sensed it, she was able to look back at the younger and only Blake left.
"He's dead." She said in a monotone voice. She couldn't let her emotions out in fear of losing control.
There was no reaction from Octavia hearing that. She stared back blankly at Clarke who was watching her carefully. After a minute or so, Lincoln's hand tightened on Octavia's shoulder made her snap out of staying frozen. Clarke could see the emotions boiling up in Octavia's face.
"No. No. He can't be." She started murmuring to herself and Lincoln pulled her back by her arm towards him. She kept saying "No, No, No." as she collided on Lincoln's chest and turned around to hold him. He wrapped his arms around her to comfort her as she grieved.
Clarke stood there, not knowing what to do. Seeing Octavia break down was crushing her inside and she was losing control of her own emotions. The tears she had been holding in started to escape and run down her cheeks.
"I'm sorry." She told Octavia in a soft voice that was filled with grief. But Octavia was not in the mood to see how Clarke was reacting. Hearing Clarke speak made her snap out of her grief.
She turned around with fire in her eyes as she stared at Clarke. "You're sorry?" She asked in disbelief. "You're sorry?" Her voice rose with every syllable. "Bitch." She yelled and lunged at Clarke with both her arms stretched out.
But she didn't reach Clarke. Lincoln was able to catch Octavia by her waist before she lunged and pulled her back. For a small girl, Octavia had a lot of strength and even Lincoln couldn't hold her back easily. Clarke involuntarily stepped back when Octavia lunged and she stared at the girl spitting fire at her.
When Octavia couldn't get her hands on Clarke, she started yelling. "You should have saved him. You should have protected him." She accused.
Hearing that made Clarke lose any control she had over her emotions. "I tried. He was there protecting others. We tried to get to him." She justified with her voice breaking with emotion. "I tried to get to him." She whispered in the end.
Lincoln pulled back Octavia further away from Clarke. "Listen." He told her. She was still struggling. "Listen." He said again in a commanding voice. Octavia turned her head from Clarke to Lincoln. "She's not to be blamed." He told Octavia. Seeing the argument rising from the girl, he enforced it. "She's not to be blamed."
Octavia didn't struggle after that. She went limp in his arms and he held her tight. She started sobbing into his chest and he held her close. Clarke looked at them both and Lincoln looked back at Clarke with a grim expression. He nodded at her as a way to tell her to go and Clarke walked away.
She was crying by the time she reached the delinquents. She didn't even know how she found her way to them. She was moving automatically without any thought. All her thoughts were at the memories of seeing Bellamy in the middle of the fight and her closing the door on him. Octavia was right to blame me, she thought to herself.
Raven came up to her and put her hand on Clarke's shoulders. Clarke looked up and Raven looked back knowingly. Clarke didn't have to explain why she was crying. Raven pulled her in for a hug and let her cry out.
"Umm… Clarke." Jasper approached her hesitantly. Clarke pulled away from Raven to look at Jasper who was standing awkward, unsure of what to do.
Clarke steeled herself, locking her emotions back inside. There will be time for it later, she said to herself.
"What is it Jasper?" She asked him, her voice strong and normal. She wiped any residual tears away and looked at him.
"When you were gone, a grounder came and said that you were asked to come to the commander as soon as possible." He informed her. She was their leader and they needed her to represent them.
Clarke nodded and looked towards the big tent in the middle of the village. It stood tall above the rest and Clarke found out last night that the commander was staying there.
She moved towards the tent, exhibiting confidence in her steps. She didn't want to be vulnerable in front of the grounder army's commander.
She saw Octavia and Lincoln standing in front of the tent as she approached. She avoided eye contact with Octavia who ignored her completely. Clarke looked at Lincoln who gave her a sympathetic smile. Clarke asked for permission from the grounder standing guard at the entrance and he peeked his head inside and spoke something, before he pulled out and nodded.
"Leave your weapons behind." He told everyone. Clarke wasn't carrying anything with her at that moment. The rifles were left behind with the group. Octavia dropped her swords and Lincoln dropped his knife at the side of the tent. Clarke pulled the flap and walked into the tent with Octavia and Lincoln following her behind.
The tent was luxurious compared to what she had seen around the village. It had a throne chair made out of wood and a girl around her age was sitting in it looking at her with guarded eyes. A dark-skinned woman with short black hair, older was standing next to her. There were another guard, large in size standing on the other side of the throne. Clarke looked around and saw that the tent had table, food on top of the table, pelts used as carpet in the tent. She looked ahead and focused on the girl in the chair.
"You must be Clarke of the sky people." The girl in the chair spoke in English. Clarke nodded to confirm. "I'm Lexa. Commander of the coalition." She introduced herself.
"Where's Bellamy?" Lexa asked, turning around to look at the dark-skinned woman and said something in Trigedasleng. The woman nodded to confirm whatever Lexa asked.
"I was told, he is one of your leaders." Lexa said again, looking at Clarke.
"He was." Clarke said in a small voice.
Lexa and the woman shared a look. The woman stepped forward, closer to Clarke. Clarke stood straight and looked at her in the eyes.
"What happened to Bellamy?" The woman asked in English. She sounded as if she was worried.
Clarke decided to explain it all. Octavia was there and she should know the full story. And the woman in front of her seemed to be concerned as well.
"We were attacked by Anya's army and we fought back. But they were too many. We couldn't defend for too long. Bellamy brought in the Reapers into the battle to strengthen our defence." She paused as she waited for the woman in front of her to comprehend what she was saying. The sharp intake of breath from her was enough for Clarke to know that they understood it. "It gave us enough time to escape back into our ship. Bellamy was covering our exit and the army broke through the wall. He rescued two of our people from the grounders, but he was surrounded. He ordered me to close the door." Clarke described. She paused at that moment, because it was taking everything in her to keep talking without breaking down again.
"I was told that your ship released a fire that burnt many of my people." Lexa spoke once again.
"Yes. We fired the rockets in the ship, which released the fire to kill the grounders trying to get inside. Bellamy was outside when we did it." Clarke confirmed.
"Did you find his body?" Octavia asked in desperate. She was not part of the discussion happening inside the camp. But she couldn't help but ask.
Lexa narrowed her eyes at Octavia for intruding her conversation. Indra looked more sympathetic towards Octavia.
"All the bodies were burnt beyond recognition. We left them outside the camp." Clarke answered her. Octavia turned towards Lincoln and he put his hand on her to stop her from rushing to the camp.
"I'm sorry." The woman told Clarke and looked at Octavia. "Your brother was a good man." She said apologetically. Octavia turned back and looked at the woman.
"Thanks Indra." It was Lincoln who spoke this time. Clarke now knew who the woman was. Bellamy mentioned Indra as the leader of Trikru, Lincoln's clan. He respected her and it seemed as if she respected him too.
Lexa stood up from her chair. The grounder next to her stood in attention. She looked at Clarke and said something in Trigedasleng. Lincoln, Indra and the other grounder guard repeated it.
"She's saying it was a good death." Lincoln told Clarke and Octavia since they don't know their language.
"It was a needless one." Clarke bit back in English. She said it to Lincoln but her voice carried to everyone in the tent. The grounder next to Lexa tightened his grip on his knife at his belt.
"Clarke of sky people." Lexa addressed her once again. Clarke looked back defiantly, not willing to take back what she said or apologize for it. She stood by it.
"You and your people have suffered an injustice in the hands of my people." She stated. "Anya was told to stop her attack after Indra came to me at Polis and told me what Bellamy of the sky people said. I trust Indra and her word. I sent a rider with the order for Anya to stop." She explained.
"Why didn't she?" Clarke asked, angry at the unnecessary attack they had to face.
"She's angry for losing her people in your explosion and been made a fool when Bellamy escaped. She wanted revenge. She killed my messenger." Lexa said with revulsion. It seemed Lexa did not agree with what Anya did.
"We lost good people in the attack." Clarke pointed out, still angry.
"Good people died on both sides." Lexa replied back harshly. Then her voice dropped back to her commanding tone. "But we were the aggressors in this dispute. For that, I apologize on behalf of my people." The commander bowed her head as a sign of apology, before raising and looking Clarke directly.
"As penance for our action, I Lexa, commander of the coalition, now offer our protection to your people. You will be the 13th clan in our coalition. You will be protected from anyone of the clans attacking you. An attack on you will be an attack on all of us. We are one." She commanded.
"Heda…" The grounder who stood next to her started to protest.
"Gustus, we owe them for their deaths. They lost their leader because of our people." She told him. The grounder Gustus stood back, swallowing any protest he was about to make.
"Clarke of the sky people. Skikru will be the 13th clan. You are given the land you currently occupy to build your settlement. Indra and Trikru have already offered to help you with building your home." Lexa looked at Indra who nodded in confirmation.
"When we march against the mountain, I expect your clan to join us in our fight." Lexa stated, as if there's no room for disagreement. Clarke nodded in understanding.
"Now, the last order of business. It is our custom that blood spilled must be avenged by taking blood. Jus drein jus daun. So, I offer you this." She nodded at Gustus who went outside the tent only to return back with a prisoner in tow. Prisoner was bound and injured. It took a moment for Clarke to recognize who it was.
"Anya?" Clarke asked surprised. Anya struggled against her restraints and the gag in her mouth.
"I offer you her death as retribution. Vengeance is yours." Lexa said and handed Clarke a knife.
Clarke was confused. She wanted revenge. She wanted Anya to suffer for what she did. She wanted her to die for causing Bellamy's death. But she couldn't do it. She couldn't take a life in revenge when there was no reason for it.
"No." Clarke said and dropped the knife. Lexa looked at her surprised.
"What the hell are you doing?" Octavia yelled from behind. She tried to pick up the knife, but Lincoln held her back. Lexa stared at Octavia.
"This is her choice. Not yours." She told Octavia. Then she looked back at Clarke.
"There have been enough deaths. On both sides. Adding more wouldn't bring anyone back from the dead." Clarke explained.
"Showing mercy to your enemy is a weakness." Lexa stated, looking disappointed.
"I don't know if her death would bring me peace. I just know I don't deserve it." Clarke answered. She looked at Anya.
"May you live forever." Clarke wished Anya and turned around to leave. She heard Lexa order Gustus something in their language, but it didn't matter to her. She left the tent to go back to her people.
Clarke felt someone behind and she turned her head to see Octavia and Lincoln following her behind. She didn't say anything as she walked back to the delinquents.
They were waiting for her eagerly to hear about what happened. When she reached them, they surrounded her and waited for her to talk.
Clarke didn't hide anything. She explained to them of her meet with the commander and what the commander told them. When she mentioned about the commander ordering to stop the attack, there were murmurs around. But they kept listening as Clarke explained Anya acting against the orders and the consequences she faced.
"The commander offered Anya's death to me to claim my vengeance for her attack." She told the group.
"Did you do it? Did you kill her?" Monroe asked her. Few others were looking at her, expecting her to say yes.
"No." Clarke answered. The group started to shout and yell when she told them. They objected to her not killing Anya.
"Killing her won't bring anyone we lost, back alive." Clarke explained her reasoning.
"But it will make sure she won't get another chance to attack again." A boy she didn't know answered. And he had support from quite a few in the group.
"Commander promised that it won't happen again." Clarke said. Others looked at her, not believing what she was saying.
"Commander has offered to make us one of the clans in her coalition. This makes as part of their group and we won't have to fear any attacks from grounders." Clarke explained.
"So, we become grounders?" Another one in the group asked.
"We are grounders. We became grounders when we landed here. When we spilled blood here. We are going to make our home here. Trikru has offered to help us build our camp. They will help us to rebuild our home." Clarke informed them.
The disagreements subsided with that. Everyone looked at her, hoping she was making the right choice but didn't have any alternative suggestions.
"What about the people from the Ark? My parents are out there." Someone asked.
"We will wait for Finn and others to return. When they reach us, they can become part of our camp." Clarke suggested. For now, that is all she had. She hoped that the council will go with the plan, because if they act violently, it will doom everyone.
With that, the group dispersed to wherever they were sitting. She saw Octavia go to her friends and hugged Jasper and Monty. She overheard Jasper apologizing to Octavia and blaming himself for Bellamy's death. Octavia told him that it wasn't his fault and it was Bellamy being himself. Clarke couldn't help but agree. Bellamy had that hero instinct to protect the people he cared about. And it led to his death and she was the one who pulled the handle.
Clarke went and sit in a corner alone, away from the rest of the group. Finally, she was not preoccupied with anything, she took a moment to let herself grieve.
Now that she let her emotions open up, the first thought that ran was Bellamy. She felt sorrow for the deaths of the other delinquents during the attack. But the one that impacted her the most was Bellamy's death. She didn't know when it happened. They became co-leaders and relied on one another. When he left the camp, she missed him. His company, the comfort he brought in sharing the burden of leader responsibility. She had come to rely on it. When he returned, she felt sheer joy at the sight of him, as if a part of her that was missing had returned. She didn't think too much then, but during the last days before the battle, it became clearer for her. She had feelings for her co-leader. Feelings that went beyond friendship and trust. Bellamy Blake had somehow got into her heart and found his place in there.
She felt a glimpse of it when she kissed him without a single thought, as if on instinct. And it became more pronounced when she needed to be next to him to get some sleep. She needed his closeness and comfort. It became abundantly clear when she was forced to close the door, leaving Bellamy to his death. She could feel her heart cry out and a part of her die with Bellamy outside.
Her heart kept pointing out what was missing on their walk to the grounder village. She kept hallucinating Bellamy standing there, grinning at her in the sides as she walked. He was there in the village, wherever she went. One of the reasons she got lost in her search back to the delinquents' group was because she was getting distracted seeing Bellamy in every corner and she couldn't help herself seeking him out. Her mind reminds her that he is dead. But the tiny desperate hope made her hallucinate that he was there and it was all a bad dream. Somehow, he survived and he was there waiting for her. She knew it was ridiculous to imagine that. But she couldn't let herself crush that hope. She let that hope live in her mind and took comfort from it. If she let it go, she knew she will crash and burn. Her heart and her head were in conflict with one another. Usually Clarke led with her head, making decisions that made sense. But for once in her life, she let her heart lead because she wasn't sure it will survive if she doesn't.
When she landed on Earth, she left herself be open and vulnerable after being locked up in isolation. And Finn charmed her and she let herself fall for him. When she found out about Finn's lie of omission and that he made her the other woman in their relationship, it broke her heart. She managed to patch it up and steeled herself from feeling it again anytime soon. She had other priorities to focus on, like their survival. She couldn't tell when that changed and Bellamy managed to get in through all her defences. But he had. And she knew this time, if her heart broke, she would be in pieces and she may not be able to put it back together, let alone patch it up. And the only way she can stop it from breaking is by holding on to the sliver of hope that her heart still had.
With that, Clarke cried her heart out, letting all the emotions run free and let herself grieve. The group let her have her moment, not approaching her with anything as she remained alone and cried herself until she was dry.
A/N: My sincere apologies for the long wait. Life has been putting up hurdles for me. Broke my ankle trying to fix something in the garden. Had to be on bed rest for months for the fracture to heal by itself. Spent that time with my newborn mostly when I wasn't knocked out in painkillers.
Back at my desk now. I'll keep releasing chapters quickly.