Chapter Seventeen: The Last Few Hours

Gibbs came out of the bathroom after his shower feeling a little refreshed, but the thought of what was to come later in the evening still gnawed at his mind. He went down into the basement to find Nicole watching television. She looked up when she saw him come down the stairs. He sat down next to her not making eye contact.

She put the remote out in front of her and clicked the off button causing the TV to go blank. Gibbs stared at the black screen as if it were still running pictures across it. Nicole stared at him waiting for him to look at her; instead he rose and walked to his boat. She tossed the remote onto the table in front of her and it slid to the front before crashing to the floor. The noise caused Gibbs to glance over his shoulder briefly. She gave him a look and shook her head when he turned away.

"Don't ignore me," she said in a whisper. Gibbs closed his eyes and tried to clear his head of all the jumbled images he was seeing. He turned and leaned against the boat, draping his right arm along the wood.

"I'm sorry," he said shaking his head. She got up and walked up to him standing next to him leaning on the boat. Her arms came together across her chest as she stared up at him.

"What time are they coming?" she asked softly.

"Six thirty," he replied rubbing a hand over the back of his neck.

"We could…not be here…" she said with a grin. Gibbs looked down at her, a grin slipping over his own features.

"Gave my word," he said. Nicole nodded but continued to grin.

"To the Director?" she asked looking back up at him, grin still firmly in place. Gibbs studied the eleven-year-old's face for a moment.

"Yes," he said evenly.

"What's the deal between you two anyway?"

"Deal?"

"Come on! Gibbs, there is serious history between you two," Nicole replied shaking her head and walking back to the couch. She sat down watching him as he still stood against the boat.

"What do you know about history," Gibbs replied calmly.

"I know how she looks at you. I see how she reacts around you, watches you. I see the way you look at her," Nicole began.

"You don't know what you're talking about, Kido."

"On the contrary, Gibbs. Come on admit it. You like the woman," Nicole said. Gibbs flashed her a look and it made her giggle. He walked over to the couch and she smiled more as he came closer. He sat down next to her and grabbed her tickling her again. She laughed and kicked until he stopped.

"What do you know, you're eleven," he said finally with a grin.

"Apparently more than you do," she said giggling again. Gibbs narrowed his eyes and shook his head before sitting back on the couch and laying his head on the top. Nicole got up on her knees and leaned on her elbow next to his head.

"So what should we do, Kido," Gibbs asked closing his eyes. "We got a couple hours."

"You are so stubborn," Nicole said with a sigh, eliciting a look from Gibbs. "I'd say you two were an item, yeah, in the past, but now you work for her."

"Drop it," Gibbs said with a smile as he went to tickle her. Nicole saw it coming and scrunched her body. Gibbs couldn't get to the ticklish spots, as she deflected his attempts with her elbows.

"Let's see, you ended it…no she did and you," Nicole continued before Gibbs cut her off.

"Don't you ever quit, Kid?" Gibbs said grabbing her and pulling her into him. She smiled up at him.

"You shouldn't bottle stuff up, Gibbs. That's why it haunts you. You know someone told me I should talk about things it makes stuff easier."

"Stop throwing my own words in my face," Gibbs said with a grin. He hugged Nicole and she was quiet for a moment before she pushed again.

"So what's the deal?"

"Child," he said in a warning tone but she just looked up at him with an innocent look. Gibbs shook his head and tossed her to the other side of the couch. She landed with a grin as a puff of dust erupted. "I got to say you are persistent. If I'm still an agent in seven years, you got a spot on my team," he said with a laugh.

"You like to change the subject a lot," Nicole said creeping closer to him again. He rubbed his hand along his neck again before looking at the child that never quit. When he looked into her eyes he saw that for a moment she was actually forgetting her situation and it made his heart lift just the tiniest bit, and like before he didn't know why he did, but he started to tell her the back story.

"Yes we were partners a while back," Gibbs said finally.

"Partners, like back me up partners?"

"She was my NCIS partner and we were on assignment."

"And? Come on Gibbs, don't give me that look!"

"And yeah there was a connection."

"You WERE more than partners. I knew it!" Nicole said beaming like she had won the lottery. It made Gibbs laugh.

"This is a really big thing for you isn't it?"

"How many people can make you talk? Huh? I think this is like Christmas," she said with a laugh. Gibbs shook his head.

They spent the next hour talking about Gibbs past with the director. He couldn't believe he was sharing this with an eleven year old he had met only 48 hours ago, but something about her made him want to share his life with her. They had been quiet for a while when Nicole looked up at him again.

"Who ended it?" she asked softly not sure how he would react. Gibbs looked down at her briefly before looking back up at his boat.

"She did," he said with a shrug. "Guess I was too much of a bastard."

Nicole didn't reply to him. He got up from his spot and paced around the room. Nicole watched him just enjoying the moment. Finally she couldn't contain her curiosity any longer and she once again opened her mouth.

"And now?"

"And now what?" he asked looking at her over his shoulder.

"What's your relationship like now?"

"She's my boss, my ex-partner, my friend," he said quickly, a little too forced and Nicole picked up on it.

"Your choice or hers?"

"Mutual, come on, Kido, let's talk about something else," Gibbs said with a sigh.

Nicole read the drain in his voice and knew it was time to move on. She nodded. She knew what was coming but she didn't want to be the one to start the conversation. He watched her a moment before he came back to the couch and sat down.

"You ready to go to a foster home?" he asked draping an arm over her shoulders. She shrugged and pulled her knees to her chest wrapping her arms around them leaning her chin down. She fought to hold the tears.

"I don't want to," she said.

"I know but you know you have to right? They won't let me keep you."

"Why not?" she asked picking her head up and looking up at him.

"I'm never around, Kido," he said rubbing his arm along her shoulders.

"You've been around for two days," she said quietly.

"Yeah, but this is different. My team is still working and I should be out there with them," he said. "That's my job. I'm a field agent."

Nicole didn't answer, she understood what he was saying; she just didn't like it. They were quiet for a while longer while they both thought about different things. Nicole then shifted so her legs were lying along the couch and settled in against Gibbs' chest. He held her tight.

"It's always been just me and mom, Gibbs. I don't know what to do anymore," she said quietly. He leaned down and kissed the top of her head.

"You'll figure it out. It's not going to be easy though," he replied.

"What if I have a nightmare?"

"Your foster family will help you deal with them."

"But they don't understand them, not like you do," she said looking up at him. He looked away, and Nicole looked back down at the table.

"I have too many demons of my own to work out, Kido," Gibbs said half heartedly.

"You don't really feel that way," she said with a hint of anger in her voice. Gibbs squeezed a little tighter. "This so isn't fair."

"Life isn't fair," Gibbs mumbled softly. "You just have to deal with what it gives you."

"You won't let me," she whispered and then tried to pull away from him. He held onto her causing her to flop back against his chest. She looked up at him and saw the pain in his eyes. She realized how much it would affect him when she was gone. She leaned back.

"It's not my choice."

They were quiet for a while before Nicole pried herself from his arm and got up. He watched her walk up to the DVD player and put in another movie. She then disappeared up the stairs and he got up and followed her. Gibbs found her in the kitchen making popcorn and pulling out a couple cans of grape soda. He smiled.

"Might as well enjoy the last couple hours, right?" she asked looking over her shoulder at him, making Gibbs nod. The popcorn was done and Nicole was pouring it into a bowl when Gibbs' cell phone rang. He pulled it out and checked the caller ID, frowning slightly when he saw Ducky.

"Yeah, Duck," he said as he flipped it open. He motioned for Nicole to go ahead with the movie and she disappeared down his basement steps with the popcorn and a can of soda.

"Was just calling to see how you were doing, Jethro, haven't seen you here in a few days," Ducky said over the phone. Gibbs could hear the underlying worry in his friend's voice.

"Things are ok, Duck," Gibbs said leaning against the counter.

"Are you sure? Having an eleven year old again," Ducky continued.

"Yeah brought up memories," Gibbs said closing his eyes as he cut the older man off. They were both silent a moment before Ducky continued.

"You really should talk about these things, Jethro. It's not healthy to bottle all that emotion up and keep it inside."

"I did, Ducky, I…I told the kid about Kelly…and Shannon," Gibbs said quietly.

"My, my, Jethro, a little rough on the girl wouldn't you say?"

"She wanted to know. Look it was…I…kept calling her Kelly," he finished softly. Ducky was nodding on his end, even though Gibbs couldn't see him.

"You sound tired, Jethro," Ducky said to break the silence.

"I'll be ok," he said not sure how to continue the conversation.

"Don't hide from the emotions, let them out. I've been telling you for years you need to speak of these things to someone else."

"What like a shrink? No thanks, Duck."

"To anyone," Ducky finished quietly. Gibbs knew he was right, he just wouldn't admit it out loud. There was a pause before Ducky switched gears. "How is the young one dealing with what she witnessed?"

"She's having nightmares. A faceless man hurts her mom then comes after her. She's hurting but I think she's strong enough to come through. The foster parents are supposed to be able to handle this thing I guess."

"Foster parents?"

"Director Shepard arranged for it. Coming tonight to pick up the kid," Gibbs said, not being able to help the sorrow that crept into his voice. Ducky noticed it immediately.

"Jethro, you can't keep this child. Not in the current lifestyle you have. Your job as senior field agent doesn't allow the time to be a single parent."

"I know, Duck," Gibbs said working hard to hold his tears in check, clenching his eyes tightly and closing his fist not holding the phone.

"Do you?" Ducky asked with concern.

"I know, ok? I understand I can't raise a child…on my own," he said as a little bit of anger crawled into his words. Ducky was silent again. They stood for a while thinking about what the other had said.

"I'll talk to you tomorrow then," Ducky said finally. Gibbs grunted into the phone before snapping it closed. He stood for a while staring at the wall before pushing from the counter and heading for the doorway. He stopped dead in his tracks when he spotted Nicole standing there watching him.

Neither spoke, just continued to stare at each other, Gibbs' mind racing to figure out how much she heard. Nicole seemed to recognize the worry in his face as she stepped forward coming up in front of him and stopping.

"It's ok, Gibbs," she said softly. "I understand."

Gibbs looked around his counter and grabbed a pen and piece of paper. He scribbled down the house line and his cell line before holding it out for her. "Take this."

Nicole stepped forward and accepted the piece of paper from him, looking at it before glancing up at him. "What's this?"

"My numbers call me if you need anything, no matter when," he said with a smile.

With that she turned and walked from the room, grabbing the second can of grape soda. Gibbs poured himself a coffee and made his way down to the basement. Nicole was already on the couch with another movie playing. Gibbs grabbed the box and read it quickly. They were watching The Italian Job.

The movie was just about over when Gibbs heard the knock on the front door. He felt Nicole stiffen slightly. Dread rushed through his body as he removed himself from Nicole and walked up the steps slowly. He opened his front door to find an army of people headed by Director Shepard. It was time. He felt like someone had punched him in the stomach, repeatedly. He turned allowing the people to come in, his eyes never leaving Jen's.

"Agent Gibbs, this is Justin and Dawn Parks, they are going to take Nicole Conrad," Jen said introducing them. Gibbs simply nodded noticing the unhappy look of one Ms. Helen Dumont. He didn't care. He turned from them all without a word and headed down the basement steps. Director Shepard decided it would be best if they all waited for him to come up again.

Gibbs came to the bottom of the stairs and leaned on the railing looking at Nicole. She stopped the movie then looked up at him. He tilted his head towards the top of the stairs and she let her eyes drift in that direction. She then slowly got up from the couch and walked towards him. She felt the tears starting and it tore at Gibbs heart. They came up the stairs together, Nicole looking from face to face of the strangers about to take her away.

Gibbs stopped and kneeled down so he was shorter than Nicole and looked at her. He had his back to the hoard of people on in his house. Jen watched as he and Nicole embraced for a moment. When they pulled apart Nicole brought her small hands up to each side of his jaw letting them rest there gently. Gibbs closed his eyes.

"Don't let them chase you anymore, Gibbs," she said softly. "They don't want to haunt you; you just won't let them go."

He looked up at her then with sadness in his eyes. He licked his dry lips before he answered her. "I will."

She smiled and leaned in close, resting her chin next to his ear. She glanced up and saw Director Shepard watching them with curiosity. "Talk to her," Nicole whispered in his ear so only he heard and then she pulled back and smiled. Gibbs narrowed his eyes at her before grinning back and dropping his head.

He then stood and the two approached the group waiting for them. Nicole settled back against Gibbs as he rested his hands on her shoulders. She looked up at him and he nodded. Director Shepard stepped in and smiled.

"Nicole, this is Justin and Dawn Parks."

The girl remained where she was but smiled politely up at the two people beaming back at her. She didn't want to leave, but Gibbs was right the two CPS workers would never let her stay with him.

"Hi," the woman named Dawn said stepping forward. Nicole shrunk back slightly, leaning into Gibbs a little more. He tightened his hands slightly and Nicole looked up. He nodded for her to move forward and the girl took a small step.

"We're going to take you home," Justin said softly and Nicole only nodded. She felt burdened and knew she wouldn't be happy. She went with them as the party started for the door. Nicole stopped in the doorway and looked back at Gibbs one last time. She gave a slight wave with a sad smile and Gibbs felt the tears leak from his eyes as she walked away from him.

Jen was standing to his right and watched the scene unfold and knew there was something more going on between the child and Gibbs that she didn't understand. There was a connection that ran deeper than she could imagine and from the condition Gibbs was in there was more heartache than a girl with a dead mother. He looked at her and she quickly walked to him wrapping her arms around him. He leaned his face to her shoulder as the silent tears ran down his face.

"It's ok, Jethro," she said softly. He pulled his head back, resting his chin on her shoulder and taking a shuttering breath he answered her.

"No, it's not."

TBC…