"…and that's the last we thought about it, until tonight," finished Joker.
Dr. Leland sighed, leaning back in her chair. "Well, I wish you hadn't done it, but it's far from the worst thing you've ever done, like you said," she agreed. "And I don't understand why you'd be threatened over it."
"But you think that's what it is, right?" asked Harley. "There couldn't be anything else that happened last Halloween that we were responsible for. And I was the one who suggested helping him dump the body, which is probably why I'm being targeted."
"That's my reading of the situation too," agreed Dr. Leland, nodding. "But the question is who's behind it. It could be this guy driven crazy by guilt and trying to punish the people who let him get away with murder. He might have snuck into the asylum and be lurking around waiting for an opportunity to catch you alone – our security isn't great at keeping people in or out, and there are lots of places to lurk in here. Or it could be, as Jonathan suggested, someone close to the woman he murdered, who maybe got in as a patient. Maybe she's already got revenge on the guy for the murder, and now she's trying to get revenge on who she sees as his accomplices. It's a mystery, but I think one we can figure out, if one of you can remember the name of the guy."
"Oh, it was something very common," sighed Tetch.
"And I'm not great with names," said Joker. "Or faces. Or people."
"Well, I can't very well just call GCPD and ask about all the missing people reported in Gotham – it would take weeks just to get through the names," retorted Dr. Leland.
"But maybe they could narrow it down to people who went missing around Halloween last year," suggested Harley.
"Yes, but that's still a huge number of people, especially after Crane's fear gas attack," retorted Dr. Leland. "There were people voluntarily jumping into the river, among other things, to get away from their terrifying hallucinations, so we still don't have the exact numbers of casualties from that, aside from the general designation of high."
"It was a very successful night's work," sighed Crane, happily.
"Yeah, this guy picked a good night for a murder, even unintentionally," agreed Joker. "Nobody would notice another missing person in the chaos, and if anyone asked about his wife, he could just say she disappeared in the fear gas attack. It's totally plausible, and he probably could have gotten away with the murder without our help if he wanted to."
"You could call GCPD and ask if anyone has confessed to murdering his wife this time last year," said Ivy. "Not that I think it's likely, since men never take responsibility for hurting women, but it's worth a shot. And if he did that, then he's probably locked up now, and we know it's not him."
"Well, I guess it's better than nothing," agreed Dr. Leland, picking up the phone and dialing a number.
"GCPD, this is Bullock," said a voice on the other end.
"Hello, Detective Bullock, it's Dr. Leland over in Arkham," said Dr. Leland. "How are you doing?"
"We're having a ball here, Doc – nothing like Halloween to bring out the freaks and the crazies," retorted Bullock. "Well, you know that better than me."
"Ask Bullock if GCPD has authorized the use of mobility scooters for their cops," said Joker. "With the way he scoffs down donuts, he's gonna need one sooner rather than later!"
"What's the clown saying?" demanded Bullock, recognizing the voice.
"Nothing," said Dr. Leland, pulling the phone out of earshot. "Anyway, I was wondering if you could look up something for me. We have a…situation here, and I'd like to know if a man has come to see you and confessed to murdering his wife this time last year."
"This would be a crazy man, huh?" asked Bullock. "I should be asking you if a man there has confessed to murdering his wife, since only someone locked up in Arkham would do something insane like that. Punks that kill people don't confess to murder, which is a shame since it would make our job a lot easier."
"I thought maybe he could have been driven by guilt to do it – that his conscience might have gnawed away at him for a year…" began Dr. Leland.
"Yes, tell Detective Bullock it's actually not uncommon from a psychological point of view," spoke up Crane. "You can see such studies of human nature in the works of Edgar Allan Poe, for instance, such as The Tell-Tale Heart, where the murderer is compelled to confess…"
"Look, I dunno if you've just been hanging around the crazies too long, or reading too many murder mysteries," interrupted Bullock. "But in real life, people don't confess to clear their consciences, even people who have them. They just let it eat away at them and become even more degraded human beings – there's no beautiful redemption arc in confessing to murder in reality. You'd think you'd know that, Doc."
"So you're telling me it's never happened?" asked Dr. Leland. "And definitely not in this past year?"
"That's what I'm telling you," agreed Bullock. "But give me the name of the author you're reading. They sound like a hoot."
He hung up, and Dr. Leland sighed, hanging up the phone. "Dead end there, I'm afraid."
"Speaking of dead ends, there is another possibility we must consider as to the identity of our hooded figure," said Tetch. "It could be this man, it could be a relation of the victim…or it could be the victim herself."
"You mean like a vampire?" asked Joker. "God, please don't let those things be back! Just shake things up with a zombie for once, for God's sake! It's so unoriginal, Greenleaf! Two encounters with vampires was more than enough, although I know our esteemed author is a huge fan, and really should be working on her next novel about them now…"
"I mean what if the victim wasn't dead," interrupted Tetch.
"But she was," said Harley. "I checked her pulse myself."
"No, he makes a good point," said Crane, nodding. "There are states of existence that have the appearance of death without death itself occurring. As in the Edgar Allan Poe tale The Premature Burial…"
"God, give it a rest with the Poe, nerd!" snapped Joker.
"All right, if you want a less literary example, the Victorians used to have bell pulls installed in their graves since the fear of live burial was so prevalent," said Crane. "There are documented cases of people being buried alive, people suffering from catalepsy, or states of catatonic collapse, states that make the pulse so faint that it's almost undetectable…"
"Oh God, now I'm doubting myself!" said Harley, shutting her eyes tightly. "I mean, she was dead…she was! But I didn't check for that long or that carefully – she just looked so dead! But I guess she could...not have been…"
"Oh, great job, Harl!" snapped Joker. "We threw a dame into the river who wasn't dead, and now she wants revenge on us for her attempted murder!"
"Wait, wait, wait, if that did happen, and she woke up wrapped in a bloodied rug underwater, that would have done something to her mind," said Ivy. "Plus she had that wound on her skull, which could have damaged her brain. Maybe she is one of the new patients you've admitted, Dr. Leland. We would definitely recognize her if we saw her, and if she is, then it's mystery solved. She gets locked up in solitary, and there's no more nasty surprises in the closet."
"Except for what Joker leaves there for us," spoke up Two-Face.
"Ok, let's all take a look at the new patients," said Dr. Leland, standing up. "I keep them in a separate wing to you people because I don't want patients who might be helped contaminated by those who never can be. I know insanity used to be thought of as a contagious, incurable disease, and the more time I spend in Gotham, the more credence I give to that theory."
"Yep, there's no cure for me!" said Joker. "I'm more lingering than COVID, and a hundred times more lethal! That's a topical joke, boys and girls," he added, skipping after Dr. Leland as she led them into the new patient wing.