Chapter Thirty Eight: Gibbs Wakes Up

Jen opened her eyes slowly, feeling a kink in her neck. She took a deep breath as she sat up, being extra careful not to bump Gibbs' arm when she did. She rolled her neck around slowly, feeling the bones pop before relaxing. She looked over the two in the bed, Gibbs still unconscious and Nicole still sound asleep. She glanced up at the clock and was surprised to see that six hours had passed already.

She sat back in the chair stretching her back, noting that sleeping while sitting in a chair bent over is not a good idea for the future. She covered her mouth as a yawn escaped and then settled back to watch over Gibbs. He was breathing evenly, his eyes rolling as if in dream. Her gaze dropped to Nicole, still nestled into Gibbs' side, his arm draped over her protectively. The image made Jen smile. She knew then that this was something she could get used to. The thought scared her a little, was she ready for a family?

The smile on her face increased as Nicole shifted slightly. Yes, she thought, she was ready for a family. She traced a finger along Gibbs' jaw, wishing he would wake up. The doctors had said earlier that they didn't expect him to come around until tomorrow at the earliest but Jen knew better, Gibbs would be back before the doctors knew it. She wondered how much longer she had with them before the team showed up again.

Gibbs slowly left the cold darkness and increasingly became aware of his body. His eyes were still closed, as if they were stuck. He tried to open them but his lids refused to respond. He felt the pain in his shoulder, sharp and clear. He tried to readjust the positioning and slightly panicked when he couldn't. Something was wrong. He then noticed the pang in his right side, the sharp residual stab when he breathed in.

There was something different about his left side, it felt overly warm and a bit heavy. His arm was lying on top of something. He struggled again to open his eyes but failed once more. He felt something tracing his jaw line, sensing the softness and compassion in the touch, and then it was gone.

Gibbs sat for a moment collecting his thoughts. The dream he had just had still echoed in his head, the words of his lost loved ones bombarding him to let them go, and to live his life, not let the past ruin his future. He stopped thinking, was it just a dream? He didn't know. Now that he thought about it, it had all seemed so real to him.

He shook that from his mind, it didn't matter, what mattered was the message, take a hold of what was in front of you, and my daughter needs you. That was the big one bouncing around his skull. Nicole needed him now. His mind processed what he could do for her, knowing that he couldn't raise a daughter on his own. Would he have the help he needed?

His mind went to Jen. He knew he could do better with her now, he knew he could show her what she needed. It was in him, and he still felt for her, and if he wanted to admit it he still loved her. He just hoped she still loved him. Would she give him the support he needed to raise Nicole? Would she be willing to help him in every aspect? Then what about his team? Would they help him raise this child?

Yes, his mind answered automatically. His team would help him in everyway that they could. They would adopt Nicole as if she was their own and help him. The next question to be answered was is he ready to be a father again? Would he be able to raise her right, turn her into a successful woman? Could he handle the emotional ride of having a child around again?

His heart had already made up his mind but he must pose the questions to himself. He admitted then that he was fully and thoroughly attached to the eleven year old girl that had come into his life a week ago. He knew that he wouldn't be able to give her up even if he agreed to. She was part of him now, just as he knew he was part of her. There was something strong between them, something connecting on a different level.

He took a deep breath and tried to move his right arm again, attempting to alleviate some of the pain. He felt a strong resistance when he did so and the pain in his shoulder increased surging down his body. He groaned and his eyes rolled in his head. He was starting to wonder why he couldn't move his right arm.

Jen heard Gibbs groan and she looked at his face, watching his eyes roll. She reached out and took his left hand squeezing it gently. His right hand twitched and he let out a second groan as his eyes fluttered open briefly before clamping closed again.

His face was a mask of pain, and Jen reached out with her free hand and gently stroked his cheek. His face turned slightly, pressing into her caress. She continued to softly run her finger up and down waiting for him to come around. His eyes fluttered again, coming opening and searching the room before shutting for a second time. She smiled and bit at her lower lip. He groaned a third time and cringed.

His eyes opened slowly, his head turning towards her. She could see he was still not focused, his eyes barely registering what they were seeing. Her smiled increased and tears came to her eyes as he stared up at her. His eyes slowly began to focus on her and he licked his lips.

"Welcome back," she said softly. He turned his head, his eyes focusing on the large white object encasing his shoulder. His arm was sticking out and then bent at the elbow pointing straight up. His eyes rolled from the cast to Jen.

She hushed him and ran a hand through his hair as the tears slipped down her cheeks. His eyes started to slowly close again as he felt the fatigue overtaking him. He struggled to stay awake. He didn't want to sink into the darkness again.

"What happened?" he whispered softly. His throat was excessively dry and it hurt to speak. He coughed and the jarring of his chest made his eyes wide again as pain ripped through his torso.

"Easy," Jen said softly. "You have broken ribs." He nodded slowly, his eyes clouding over again. "Get some more rest; it's good to have you back."

He stared at her, noticing the love in her eyes as he drifted back into unconsciousness. In the moment before he slipped into the darkness his eyes drifted down to his left side, landing on the sleeping form of Nicole. His lips curled upwards into a proud smile as his good arm squeezed gently before he was asleep.

Jen couldn't contain her happiness as the tears fell from her eyes, she wiped at them hurriedly. He was going to make it; he was going to come through this. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly as she stood up, stretching her legs. She walked from the room in search of something to eat.

After making her way to the cafeteria and eating a sandwich she walked slowly back towards room 6205. She headed towards the elevator taking it back to the sixth floor and then down the hallway. She had been gone almost an hour. When she came in the room his eyes came up to met her own, and the smile that crossed his lips lit up her heart.

He reached out with his left arm, careful not to disturb Nicole, who was still asleep even after seven straight hours. Jen walked into the room and took the offered limb and intertwined her fingers with his. She felt new tears coming and fought to keep them from falling.

"How bad is this?" he asked slowly looking at his right arm. The pain was starting to get to him. Jen could read it in his eyes.

"I'll get the doctor to give you more pain killers," she said. He nodded but his eyes stayed on hers.

"You didn't answer my question," he said, licking at his dry lips.

"It's pretty bad, Jethro," she replied pursing her lips when she was done. He closed his eyes for a moment before they came back to her.

"How bad?" he asked his voice cracking, his fear showing through.

"They don't know yet," she said closing her own eyes. She knew what he was asking her and she didn't have an answer for him, not yet. There was no way to tell if he could return to active duty, time would tell.

"How long is this contraption on me?" he said as the pain increased when his shoulder twitched.

"Most likely ten weeks. After that you'll need physical therapy. The bullet tore a lot of muscles and broke some bones." Jen said and Gibbs let go of her hand, his arm falling back into place on top of Nicole. He nodded slowly as she came around the bed to his right side. His eyes followed her, watching her move. She sat down in the chair again and laid her hand gently on his chest. He looked her in the eyes before his own traveled down to the sleeping child.

"I can't give her up, Jen," he said with a sigh.

"I know," she said softly.

"I can't do it on my own though," he continued as his eyes came back up to meet hers. She read the question in them with ease and closed her eyes slowly before opening them once more, a smile creeping over her features.

"That an offer?" she asked cocking her head to the side.

"If you want it to be," he replied with a shaky voice, his eyes dropping to the gurney. Jen reached out and gently cupped his face with her hands, bringing his eyes up to look at her again.

"If you want to try to make this work, I'm willing to try," she said with a smile as a tear slid down her face. He studied her eyes and nodded slowly his own tears starting to fall. He closed his eyes and swallowed. When he opened them again he had a smile on his face.

"I…" he started but then stopped not sure how to tell her what he wanted to. It was then that Kate's words echoed through his mind once more let us go, and capture what is in front of you when you get back. Don't let the past ruin your future. She's there, Gibbs, make things right. He suddenly knew what Kate was trying to tell him. His eyes brightened as his heart told him that yes indeed he wanted to try, to make both Jen and Nicole his new family. "I'd like to try and make a family," he said softly.

"That's a big step, Jethro, are you sure you're ready?" she asked.

Gibbs looked down at the sleeping child again and felt his heart soar. He knew that it was what he wanted; it was something he was willing to work for. He knew that those two women would make his life complete and help him release the past, grabbing onto his future. He looked into Jen's eyes, letting his walls down, showing the emotion that was bottled up in his heart. He watched as her eyes went from confusion to disbelief.

"It's the right step," he said as he took a hold of her hand and brought it to his lips. He gently kissed it before letting both of their hands drop to his chest. The impact hurt his ribs but he managed to hide it.

"You're absolutely positive on this?" she asked with hope.

"Yes," he said with sincerity. Her features brightened and formed into a smile that expanded all the way to her eyes. He smiled, knowing that she had just said yes. He closed his eyes for a moment to savor the thought then opened it to see her staring down at him with intense eyes. He looked around the bed and she leaned forward.

"What?" she asked.

"Where's the control wackadoo?" he asked. She smiled at him and pushed the buttons on the side of the bed. It slowly moved him into a sitting position. Nicole mumbled slightly in her sleep before she curled into a smaller ball and was back in dreamland.

Once he was sitting up and staring at her, he licked at his lips, his eyes sparkling now. Jen sat forward in the chair her hand resting lightly on his chest, with his draped over the top, the rest of his arm around Nicole. He tried to lean forward, but the cast prohibited the movement. He groaned in frustration and pain. Jen cocked her head to the side and when he opened his eyes again she leaned forward instead.

There lips came together lightly, pausing for a moment to savor to sensation before gently starting to move. Gibbs' eyes closed under they're own power. Jen was lost in the moment as they explored each other for the first time in a long time. Gibbs wanted more and ran his tongue along Jen's lips and as she was opening they heard a cough from the doorway. Jen's eyes shot open and she sat back in the chair quickly. Gibbs turned his head to the side, glaring at the intrusion.

Tony arrived at the hospital almost eight hours after he had left earlier. He was alone this time, not bothering to check if any of the rest of the team was up to visiting Gibbs yet. He knew they needed their rest. He walked into the building shaking the heebee geebees from his spine as he smelled the strong disinfectant smell.

He hated hospitals. He hated the smell, the starch white walls, the taste of the air, the utter despair in some of the patients. He hated it all. Just being in one made his skin crawl, but he knew this was a something he had to do. He made his way to the elevators and rode it up to the sixth floor before walking slowly down the hallway to Gibbs' room. When he rounded the corner of the door he stopped in his tracks. He didn't make a sound as the scene played out in front of him; Gibbs and the Director were kissing.

When he saw the kiss getting more intimate he cleared his throat making his presence know. He saw the Director shoot back into her chair, slightly embarrassed at being caught, but Gibbs expression made him smile. The glare that Gibbs tossed his way was priceless to Tony; it meant his boss was back.

"Good to see you awake," Tony said the smile still on his lips. Gibbs' glared started to falter, then turned into a smile as the younger man came in the room. Tony took in the sight of Nicole still asleep next to Gibbs, and watched as Gibbs slipped his good hand into Director Shepard's hand.

"Thanks for coming by, DiNozzo," Gibbs said softly.

"No problem, Boss, wanted to make sure you were ok," Tony said leaning against the wall.

"I'm in good hands," Gibbs said with a smile. Tony's smile brightened as he caught the connotation of what Gibbs was saying.

"That you are," he replied nodding. "Uh, I also wanted to let you know…um, that…I uh..."

"Just spit it out, Tony," Gibbs said with a sigh as Nicole started to stir next to him. Tony looked down at the floor and rubbed the back of his neck before looking up at Gibbs again.

"Well, just that if you decide that you want to, uh, raise Nicole…I'm willing to help you out," Tony said.

"You're all charm and grace, boy," Gibbs said with a smile. "Thank you, I'm going to need all the help I can get."

TBC…