I wrapped the red zip-up hoodie tightly around me. It wasn't colder. But I found myself shivering as I glanced about the area and the people walking just ahead of me. Sensui and the other adult didn't bother double-checking that I would follow. Why would they? The turquoise truck had been parked in a parking lot of virtually nowhere, nothing else really too close to this rundown looking cave way out here that must have been some attraction years ago. But not now.

Tsukihito looked back over his shoulder once again. I swallowed, eyes going back up the long lean form of Shinobu Sensui striding along with an energy ball floating at the ready in his hand, lighting the way. What can I say and what can I do to get out? Much less… With a quick glance up, Tsukihito left Sensui's side for the second time, bounding back to me.

"We're almost there." He gave the slightest pause, then burst on. "I can give you my Gamemaster cloak too if you're really that cold. It's not a big deal. I'm sure my territory will give me one when I start the game anyway. Ya'know, I'm pretty sure zipping it up and getting the hoodie on would help with your shivering. Dummy. Here. Let me do it since you can't do it right."

I stopped, staring at him as he did just that. Zipped up the overlarge hoodie and fuss about in getting my hair in under the hood okay. Then he gave a quick rub at the sides of my arms. I stared. He finally looked me in the eye and his face went red.

"What?" He snapped out. "Quit looking at me like I did something weird! Come on, dummy. We're almost there. Let's get going to catch back up with Sensui."

Shoving my hand through the too large sleeve, I grabbed a hold of his wrist. He stopped. Just stood there watching the two other adults disappear just up ahead. The light of whatever lay ahead giving enough to see. The dim light didn't really cast odd and strange shadows, which was nice, if weird, because I had this feeling it should be. With who we'd been following and what was to happen from the bits I gathered from my former life's memory of an animated show.

"What?" The question wasn't snappish this time, but softer.

"Thanks," I said softly back. "For asking about Yuu. And Mitsu. But…worry about them? About what? And the schedule? It's not… Tsukihito. I don't like the sound of any of this. I'm worried about you. I don't like this. Can we leave this cave? Please?"

And I knew he was only a few years older than me, still a kid himself, but I bit at my lip and pleaded with big eyes at his back, waiting for him to turn and see. To at least hesitate. And hope I could get us out as Sensui wasn't near to see, to get us out and away from all of this.

It may be the story. But I was not going let him just stay. Stay to die.

I…I was supposed to die. But I was here. And I don't know what Sensui did or why or what he wanted from me, but I wasn't going to do it. Because if saving my life meant he could set up for Tsukihito's life being taken early… It wasn't right. Not at all. Nothing I saw in the glimpses or the tingling feeling of my spirit energy reacting was good on this guy's intentions.

He turned, eyebrows furrowed and confused, blinking in surprise at my face. "Wha—worried about me? But I'm going to be fine with Sensui by my side. I told you, he's not like other adults. And he's changing the world for the better. Not anything to get worried over. Dummy."

But there was something on his face. Was he trying to discount my words rather than just a teasing nickname type of thing? I tugged at his wrist. "Rin. Not dummy. And I am worried. This cave and… Tsukihito, I…"

What could I say to change his mind? He knew about my energy, but would he believe if I said I sensed it? Those were just feelings. And he'd known Sensui longer than us getting along, trusted the man. Former life was even newer, less believable. And a former life that knew bits of what was to come?

My lip quivered, tears threatening to spill over. I really, really wanted to get him out of here with me and to make sure he didn't go back to Sensui. Assuring me it was all going to be okay as he made sure I was okay, like with his hoodie thing, then go right back to Sensui. I couldn't watch that. And I couldn't be here. I couldn't be here. I wasn't supposed to be for one thing, but I really couldn't be here. Because…because Yuu, Yuu would, and I, I didn't want him anywhere near here but I saw him when I saw Tsukihito collapsing.

If Tsukihito wasn't there for whatever he was supposed to do with his knack for games he'd yammered on to me about, Yuu wasn't a fighter, Yuu would have no reason to be here. The image of him and Tsukihito in the cave wouldn't happen. Tsukihito alive and Yuu safely away. Right? But if Tsukihito was here, I couldn't just leave and let him stay. And Yuu…

My older brother had his passions and he was motivated to reach his goals. Yet, he put me first. More plants for fresh air closer to me and lessening his food intake when we were lower on money and always having the time and money to put toward my education and silly requests…

My chest heaved and I made to swipe my face clear.

"Woah! Hey! Don't get your snot all over my— Oh man, you're really crying! I uh, here!"

Tsukihito twisted my hand off his wrist and pulled the sleeve back down, roughly wiping at my face.

"What are you even doing all this ugly blubbering for, Rin? I keep telling you that—"

"I don't want you to die," I whimpered out.

He froze, staring at me in the dim lighting. "What? No one's dying. We're safe here, in the cave. There's going to be a lot of chaos, but only for those who deserve it. Making the whole world better. Sensui assured me we're safe here. There's nothing like that to worry about."

Tsukihito rolled his eyes at the idea of it, but picked the end of his hoodie's sleeve up again and used the edge to wipe at my face again. Teeth nibbled on his lips. A frown on his face, then pulling the corner of his lips back into a semblance of a smile, continuing to assure me with confidence in his voice. Assurances he believed. But I could not. I sobbed, shaking my head at him.

"I mean, I'll be buying time for him for any that try to change what he's doing, because there's always those who take issues with any idea to improve things. I'm sure between Sensui and Itsuki and Makihara, they'll keep you safe while I'm doing that. But I promise, soon as I'm done with being the Gamemaster, I'm running right back to you and we'll play games together, safe in my territory. Does that promise help? So, quit crying already."

He frowned at me again. "What is, oh!" In an instant, his face cleared and he laughed. "Dummy. Sensui said I didn't have anything to worry about and there is nothing to worry about with Mitsu and your brother too. You were there. You heard him say that."

But I didn't want any of them here. That was the opposite of reassuring. I wanted us to be leaving this cave and everything to happen. Whatever Sensui had planned or thought—

"That is true." I gasped, freezing at the voice and seeing him appear from up ahead. A smile on his face as he made his way back to us. Tsukihito spun and grinned at the sight of the man. Sensui aimed that smile at me though. I swallowed, pulling the overlarge hoodie around me. "If you are really worried about Yuu Kaito, it shall be easy enough for us to make sure he finds his way to the innermost part of the cave here with us."

That didn't mean safe. And what was with that phrasing? I peered up at him, squinting. If I really am worried about Yuu Kaito? Of course I'd be worried about Yuu! He's my older brother. And everything in me says this isn't a place I want him to follow me into to make sure I'm safe.

"Why don't you double-check that your game set-up is good to go for when we come back? I'll keep her company while you check."

"Oh right! I haven't done that yet!" Tsukihito skidded to a stop before he ran off. "Can…can you make sure she knows what's going on? I think she's all freaked out by the cave, imagining the worst."

His head tilted, eyebrows flickering downward as he caught me inching away from him, but gave Tsukihito a soothing smile. "I'll keep her company while you check. The two of us can talk then."

Assured by Sensui, Tsukihito grinned and shot me a cheery thumbs up. "Don't worry! I told you, he's not like the other adults. He'll give it to you straight and won't talk down at you. Sensui's awesome! Be back!"

And then he skipped off around the bend.

I inched further away, drawing the hoodie around me as I stared up at him, slowly moving back as I kept an eye on him.

Sensui chuckled.

"I will admit, the tears were a nice touch, but you can stop with the playacting of a child. Scared and crying." He laughed to himself and raised an eyebrow, smiling at me. "It may deliver you answers of what's going on from the boy, but even you know he is a child and as smart as he is, he doesn't know everything. And I know you must have questions for me since his paper delivery."

My hand reached back to where I kept it tucked on me, inside the handy pocket of the school uniform skort, touching the piece of paper. "Well," I said slowly. Where was this conversation going? "Yeah… I do."

Thrusting his hands into his pants pockets, his eyes came back up to my face, smiling. "You even have it on you. You don't mind if I have it back, do you? You have my deepest apologies on the wait. Why don't we finally have our talk?"

And then he said a name, a name that rang through me as true and false all at once. A name that must belong to my former life. It wasn't mine. But yet, how did he know the name? How did he know about that, things that weren't me, but…me?

"I see that got your attention and stopped the acting. Even without the bit of confusion and then glee of the boy telling me about you suddenly being 'kind of a cool little kid', I already knew you are not the youngest Kaito. The body is, but the soul of Rin no longer resides there." His head tilted at me, his smile turning almost sympathetic. "It is a common method of those who reside in and work for Spirit World. As a new member of Spirit World—"

"What? A new member of where?" I gaped up at him. He may know things, but he certainly didn't know what was clearly in front of his face. I was still alive. And he'd written it down as thanks to him.

"Of Spirit World," he repeated for me. Then continued explaining. Like…I was not me, but someone else entirely.

And the truth is, I maybe might be. I'm me. I can tell you that I'm me, all me. It's true.

Except, there is a bit that wasn't there before.

I try to think of it that everyone changes over time. It's not the same, not really. But at the core of everything, I will hold to who I am. Every part of what makes me up.

And I will call it, call myself, tell everyone to call me as I am. And that is…Rin. No matter the details and everything else to it, the before and the after and all else inbetween, I remain strong on who exactly I am. My older brother is Yuu Kaito. My favorite color is yellow. I enjoy good stories. I love climbing. I am Rin.

"You don't want to see?"

Yuu's eyes flickered, looking wary, then he breathed out. "In a bit. How about we focus on one thing at a time?"

"Okay," I agreed easily. It was a whole other thing bothering him, I think. My ability with spirit energy showing. He'd already been concerned about experimenting with his territory going wrong around me and my former life. That Botan said was not really a thing that can happen. So, Yuu was freshly worried about that issue along with the new one. I nod up at him. "I'll grab a paper and pencil to write it down. One side me, the other side…not me."

Climbing up onto the desk chair, I grabbed a pencil and pulled a spare notebook off the shelf. Yuu huffed from behind me and I grinned back at him. His eyes sparkled with amusement. And so, with a bounce, I plopped my rear onto the chair and flipped the notebook to an unused page.

"Okay, Yuu. What first?"

There was a brief moment, a pause, then he went right in with how to organize the information. "First, the basics. General facts. Name, age, height, family facts, place of residence, name of school. Next to follow is a list of other basics, favorites. Such as favorite color, class, foods, activities, books, music, and friends. For a third page, we'll do a series of…personality questions."

Scribbling a heading of 'Personality Questions' and drawing a line down the middle, I went back to the first page I wrote on and divided. The 'General Facts' page. One side of it, I wrote my name, 'Rin Kaito', and the other side I put 'former life'. I stared for a moment. Should I add in the question mark about that? I shrugged and turned halfway in the seat so I could still write, but also see Yuu.

"No name?"

I frowned, thinking. And reached a really strong nothing. A jerk back, pulling away.

"Nope. No name."

"Age?"

"Seven, turning eight this summer!"

"The former life?"

At his question to the other side, I shook my head. Nothing specific for age number. He frowned. And then motioned me back to the paper. "Family?"

"You and Mom! Duh." I waggled my eyebrows at him and his lips twitched. "That's easy. Yuu and Tomoko Kaito. Oh, right. Um… Never meet…Dad."

He'd been a bit ready for that. The aching look tinged with that anxiety wasn't as strong. Instead, there was a flicker of confusion and curiosity. "The…former life?"

I nodded, confirming it. "He…he gave piggybacks as long as he was able to."

Startled, Yuu pulled back a bit, a look of longing flashing longer across his face. "R-right. Okay. Write that down on the other side. Names? Who else for family?"

"No names for any family either. And…a mom." It was short and I ducked my head when Yuu peered through his glasses at me, concern clearly growing on his face. Sighing, I shrugged. "Something about a locked stairwell and never really getting a clear picture of her, but something…not right. Uh, it bothers my former life? But me thinking about our mom… I get the sense she, not likes, but…is partial? Attached? More fond, maybe? Of not her family, but of you and Mom."

Startled, Yuu reached a hand back for the bed and more fell than sat down on it. "She? Okay, gender is female… Your former life is not just the memories you've seen and mentioned, but…aware?"

"Aware? Uh…" Suddenly startled myself, I froze, blinking at Yuu. "I…I guess. But, it's more of a feeling I get. Like, memories of mom, not our mom, but… Well, there was just that sense of something not right and I know who it is, but never see them, like my former life is trying to keep it separate and not show me and the feelings with that disappeared when I thought of our mom…"

"The memories come with feelings," Yuu said abruptly. I gave a nod and some of the tension left his face, shoulders relaxing. He nodded, then reasoned, "It could be the feelings contained in those memories disappear due to your feelings with your memories."

"Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's probably it."

Small round eyes glance to the side, taking in a spot that used to hold one of his potted plants. Yuu cleared his throat. "Siblings?"

"Three younger. A couple brothers and a sister. I was the oldest to them."

There was a sharp intake of breath. "Your former life was the oldest to them. Height? Body shape? Hair color? Eyesight?"

"Glasses needed, you already know that. Um, no idea on hair color? But it was straight." I wrote them down and filled out my side as well. "I don't need eyeglasses and my hair is black and super curly like you and Mom. And the freckles. None for the former life. Um, oh right, body. I suppose I'm average height for my age, but I don't know about the former life. What else?"

"Yet hair and freckles were…" Yuu shook his head from his absentminded words. "Name of where, towns or schools or anything."

"Mine's easy."

"And the other?"

I hummed, staring at the wall in thought. "Not as easy. Grew up on a dairy farm, country area, small school. No names." Pausing, I thought back and searched within me, something of a pleasure coming forward in a memory I'd seen before with hiking in a wooded area. "There's a favorite place though… A…state park? It's got a weird name attached to it though. Can't be right."

"Put it on the next page, the favorites. What's the name of the place?"

"Backbone State Park."

"Finally, something to look up," Yuu breathed in some relief. "Go through the rest of the favorites. Keep them separate, so we know which is which and can keep this straight in figuring it out."

"Okay!" I two finger saluted him. "Can do!"

Together, we went through the rest of the usual favorites. I surprised him with being unable to pinpoint a favorite book, but came up with a list of them. His surprise went to the books he recognized due to the level they were at, such as Animal Farm and To Kill a Mockingbird and Hamlet and Fahrenheit 451. Or maybe the fact I said so many different books. I got a sense from a title popping up called Because of Romek, he may not like that one, because I think it was about a survivor of the Holocaust. It didn't seem he recognized the title though. He was also a tone of surprise at YuYu Hakusho, a Japanese named one, considering my former life was an American. I didn't tell him what that one was about. Probably should have, but it was then that Yuu pulled down a copy of Moby Dick to finally investigate if it wasn't just a higher ability for speaking English, but also in reading it. He went weirdly quiet when I did, so I simply pushed it off to the side and asked to keep going.

We went onto the personality questions Yuu posed me. I went for a general sense of what felt right for the former life and from what I noticed in a few memories. He went silent a few times then, continuing on when he noticed me staring. It was comforting though because his face was contemplative. Trying to figure this out in his head, put things together, taking them apart and shuffling them in his mind. I'm sure he'd work it out or at least work out what questions to ask and whom to ask them to.

"Yuu," I said into the silence of the bedroom. His head came up from gazing lost in thought at his lap, fingers pushing his glasses back up by the joint of the arm. "Can I show you now?"

He sucked in a breath, but smiled and I grinned back at him. Amused, he nodded. "Go ahead, Rin."

Leaping, I danced back and forth between my feet. "Ready? So, first," I said in a mimic of his own words before. Then called up two miniature suns to both my hands. "I practiced calling and holding the spirit energy while counting, a little bit longer each time. I can go pretty long. Holding it there just takes concentration once I do it. That's easy. Well, not, but easy to just hold it there. It's not doing anything, so it's like when…when you start reading. Focus and paying attention to the material and just go. So when it tingles and knowing I can stop it from just showing up. Not quite like looking away from a book, but with knowing I'm starting to read something and know I don't have the time to read it. Great, right Yuu?"

"That is…good. To get control over it."

I nodded, proud. "Haven't had any issue with it popping up and showing at school or anything like that, now that I know and have been practicing with the tips, uh, he gave." I scrunched up my nose, then brightened. "And Kuwabara!"

"Right. Good." Lips tight at the reference to Kurama, to Minamino, Yuu nodded back at me. "And the shapes Kuwabara suggested?"

I laughed, giggling, putting the two tennis ball sized spirit energy together between my hands and moved my fingers. "A heart! Just for you, Yuu! Heart of gold brother! Even if the color isn't exactly gold…"

A chuckle escaped. I grinned. For a moment, the worries and fears were chased from his face.

"And lastly…in practicing calling on it and holding it and doing the shapes, I found out they're solid! Check it out!"

Pulling the energy back apart, I used one hand to draw a line in the air, picturing what I wanted along with the hand motion. I found I needed the hand motions. It made it so much easier. Not sure why, but…

"I'm like Harold and the Purple Crayon!"

I grabbed a hold of the line of spirit energy I had put up in the air, yanking up for another line, then pulling myself up.

"Rin!"

One line across, then another one vertical, horizontal, vertical, horizontal. Each one I made my way up until I had to lay on the last one with how close I was to the ceiling. Visual steps, spirit energy made steps, steps I'd climbed up and stepped up on, holding me easily. There was a certain thickness to it that I could control, making sure I could keep my balance as I did this.

Aghast, Yuu stared up at me, face pale as he stood just under, hands shifting agitatedly as though he was torn between wanting to pull me down or ready to catch me if I fell.

"I followed your safety rules with this. The desk and chair and shelf are just right there, safety grabs just in case. Made sure I tried this with things nearby."

And had a very excited and pumped Tsukihito there spotting me as I did this at the playground next to the slides and other climbing apparatuses. He was more than glad to help. To find me after school and toss out suggestions for shapes and such, take my climbing on playground things to an idea of if it was possible to use my energy to climb anywhere I wanted. Best idea ever.

I looked at Yuu. "Uh, sorry, I should have given a head's up. I can get down if you want Yuu."

"That would be appreciated. Rin."

Catching the separation, I glanced back to him from climbing back down my made stairs. "Yeah?"

"Who is Harold?"

"Harold and the Purple Crayon, Yuu. It's a book. So I'd be like, Rin and the Sunny Energy…or something." At his puzzled look, I stopped to look better at him. "You know the one, right? It's a children's book about this boy and his crayon that draws anything for him. I guess it's probably all in his imagination of having a purple crayon that can make actual things, but it's one of those books."

"One of what books?"

"That's everywhere?" It wasn't exactly a big secret book. I'd read it more than a few times. And it was read to me in the classroom when I was… I frowned, then slowly corrected myself. "Sorry. I should have said. After thinking up all that stuff to list down for my former life."

Nodding, Yuu slowly drew in a deep breath and his eyes went to the desk. Light glared across his glasses, making it hard to see the emotion on his face. He moved to the desk, voice just as difficult to place. "I'll write it down for you."

"I can do it!" I hurried, trying to get back down to my older brother as fast as I could. "I'm almost down anyway."

Leaning over the desk, the pencil was limp in Yuu's hand. "Yuu? Yuu!"

His voice came slow and thick, head turned just a bit from me as he stared at the notebook. "Rin. How about we set this to the side?"

"Why? I thought you wanted to try figuring this out…right?"

"Because, I think we have only found more proof against Botan's claim this cannot be. All this time, it's been there. I…I just…but in how she described your soul. And in how you described it feeling like it was trying to keep its distance. How you spoke of how it feels your former life memories are more, that you seem to get a sense of not just memories, but feelings of how another person is being around you. Not just feelings from the memories, but feelings and reactions to you."

He took in a breath, steadying himself. "Yeah," I said slowly. My chin wavered at how I heard my voice tremble. And I put a hand on his hand, the pencil slipping out and onto the desk. "Yeah, it…it does."

"There's the food we've never had and yet you talk like you've had it, made the one dish." Yuu continued, his eyes still trained on the notebook. "Things you just listed as favorites to your former life. The times I think you'll say one thing, but you end up not saying it. More…introverted than…before. And you've always been helpful to your friends and around the apartment, you've been more so. Protective more in the way…in the way I am, like an older sibling. I thought the improved English might have been due to my influence of what I did during the…event, because of my touch, but… I'm thinking more and more since Botan talked to us, that the parts I…I grabbed and…"

Yuu cleared his voice. "I think there is another soul. It's not just a former life, but a separate soul. Except, you were running in about ice cream over a book on English I'd given you and if those were at the forefront, maybe those were the more effected areas and the other soul has…filled in the holes for you. I think…I think there is a former life, another soul in you. And that it might be…"

He swallowed, then finished, looking up at me with remorse and guilt and apologetic and leaning slightly back in that self-blame.

"Leaking."

Mentioned
Backbone State Park, Iowa's oldest state park
Animal Farm by George Orwell, released in 1945
To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee, released in 1960
Hamlet by William Shakespeare, released somewhere between 1599-1602
Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury, released in 1953
Because of Romek: A Holocaust Survivor's Memoir by David Faber, released in 1997
YuYu Hakusho by Yoshihiro Togashi, released in 1990-1994
Moby-Dick by Herman Melville, released in 1851
Harold and the Purple Crayon by Crockett Johnson, released in 1955 (from searching, as far as I can tell, this book was never released in Japan, a couple others by Johnson were, but not this one)