Disclaimer: Samurai Deeper Kyo. Not mine. Very sad.
Narrator here. Now, I had no inclination whatsoever of really following up on the first chapter, but owing to the fact that this fic was actually reviewed...
Kanashimi: What do you mean "reviewed"? You mean as in, people actually took the time to write comments on this load of tripe?!
Narrator: (nods) Yup. Not only that, many of them seemed to find it amusing.
Kanashimi: (stare) There are people out on who think you are funny?!
Narrator: (irritated) No need to sound so incredulous... in any case, thanks to: Lady of Genesis (Cute? Okay, I was going more for insane, but if cute does it for ya... and good luck on midterms!), Renara, Anonymous reviewer, Lady water 2010 (Amen to that!), Placid Snowflake, nekozuki1776 (yeah, Benitora really is more of a dog-person than anything, ne? As for Akira... well, yeah... blame sugar for that one. By the bye, I use your name in this fic; hope you don't mind), Cheeto (Yay, a fellow Benitora fan! Though it's not really a story about him per say, I wanted to give Tora-chan more "screen-time" than he normally gets.), Cherry ( Hey girl, long time, no hear! I do NOT have too much time on my hands - I credit it all to a strange confluence of insomnia, exams-cramming, and just plain wigging out.), Arain Ross/Arain Rowan (Dragon Sword and bloodlust eh? Okay, thanks, I'll remember that...), Alea Seikou (Yes, math is evil, and statistics should be condemned to rot in the eighth circle of Hell for all eternity! AAAaaaaargh! Erm, yes... glad you found it amusing. As for "Kyo playtime," you'll get your answer in this chapter!), starofhades (It's was mainly thanks to your review that I decided to continue this. Hope I don't disappoint!), and luna-magic-2005 (See, people do think I'm funny!)
Kanashimi: Ever consider the fact that they're all just easily amused?
Narrator: You say that like it's a bad thing.
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Chapter 2: Correlation Coefficient (of Chaos)
"... 'laughter.' So, after you stopped, you heard laughter, and...then what?"
Benitora thought hard, cudgeling his brain to remember just what it was that scary voice had said last night. Hesitantly, he turned his head sideways and began scratching another set of kanji in the dirt with the stick he held firmly clasped in his jaws.
"'Standard'... 'Devil'... no, 'Demon'... what the...? 'Tora, are you sure you have that right?" Yuya asked, staring at the nearly incomprehensible chicken scratch in front of her. Owing to the fact that no one could understand Benitora's barking, they had tried several methods to help relate just what had befallen him. Barking once for "yes" and two for "no" had not gotten them very far, and Okuni complained the noise was giving her a headache. Having Benitora try and act it out had resulted in an entertaining few minutes as he tried to demonstrate just what he had done with his hassun; even Kyo cracked a smile, while Yuya had been reduced to spate of giggles that rendered her nearly breathless.
It was Benitora who seized on the best solution, quite literally. Yuya had picked up a stick and was doodling in the dirt, trying to vent her frustration at not being able to understand him. Benitora yanked the stick from her hand and proceeded to scrawl a barely legible "Read this!" in hiragana in the dirt. Unfortunately, kanji were hard enough for him to write with human hands and a decent brush and ink on rice paper, so it took several attempts each time to produce something that Yuya, Kyo and Okuni could decipher.
"You were walking back to the lodge," Kyo read, almost to himself.
"...and you heard someone laughing," Okuni continued, "muttering something about 'standard devil actions...'"
"...and when you tried to defend yourself, you... blacked out?" Yuya concluded.
"Exactly!" Benitora barked around the mouthful of wood, which he immediately deposited in Yuya's lap so he could work out the cramps in his jaw.
"Oh, gross, Benitora!" Yuya exclaimed, gingerly picking up the drool-drenched stick. She flung it as hard as she could to one side.
"Oh, stick! I'll get it, I'll get it!" Woofing excitedly, Benitora scampered after the stick, his old head scarf, now a bandana tied around his neck, flapping in the breeze.
"Ano... is it just me or is 'Tora getting more dog-like by the second?" Yuya asked no one in particular.
"At least he's bright enough to fetch," Okuni observed.
"Do it again, do it again, do it again!" Benitora begged, triumphantly bearing the reclaimed bit of lumber back to Yuya. He realized everyone was staring him with varying degrees of shock. "Growf?" "Why are ya'll lookin' at me like that?"
"We've got to find a way to turn him back to normal," stated Yuya.
"I don't know about that, Yuya-san, I think he's fine just the way he is," a voice countered cheerfully.
"Yukimura-san!" Okuni and Yuya exclaimed, looking up to see the grinning master strategist walking toward them.
"Woof!" Benitora added. "And just what the hell did you mean 'he's fine just the way he is'?!"
"Yukimura," Kyo acknowledged with a nod. His narrowed eyes went past Yukimura and settled on the person accompanying him. "I see you've brought along your little friend."
"Stuff it," Sasuke growled, but he seemed less angered by Kyo's remark than by the potted fern he was carrying in both hands.
"Ano, Sasuke-kun, why are you...?" Yuya began.
"Because Saizo's an old git who's too slow to dodge, that's why!" the young onimitsu snapped.
"Maa, maa," Yukimura placated, laying a hand on his subordinate's shoulder. "We had a bit of a run-in with an interesting character," he said to the others, his laughing blue eyes suddenly serious, "To make a long story short, poor Saizo suffered the brunt of the ambush."
"Ano, how do you know that's Saizo-san?" Yuya wanted to know, bending down to examine the plant.
"He has retained his ki," Kyo told her, "It is the same thing that happened to Benitora – his outer form changed, but his spirit did not."
"As you say," Yukimura agreed, nodding, "I actually came looking for Kyo-san, hoping that you, with your familiarity with the Mibu, might know just what sort of demonic power might have achieved this transformation."
"Mibu?" Okuni echoed, arching an eyebrow, "How can you know that the Mibu are responsible for this, Yukimura-san?"
"I don't," Yukimura admitted blithely, "But it makes the most sense. Otherwise we'll simply have to assume that some malevolent force has suddenly taken to mind to randomly attack warriors and change them into various flora and fauna. If that's the case, there's not much we can do."
"In the meantime, I'm the one who has to cart the baka's fertilized ass around," Sasuke concluded darkly.
The fern's leaves quivered, even though Sasuke was holding the pot steady and there was no wind. Apparently, being transformed into a member of the family Plagiogyriaceae did not preclude Saizo from comprehending human speech or reacting to it.
"You mentioned that you saw the person who attacked you," Kyo said to Yukimura.
Yukimura shook his head. "Not exactly, no; I said they were an interesting character precisely because not even Sasuke could see or sense them until they attacked. The only thing I can say for certain is that I heard a child's voice sing something about 'standard error of the difference,' and 'test statistics determine distance from null hypotheses.'"
"That doesn't sound like a spell," Okuni said.
"That's because it's not a spell," someone informed her.
"Who's there?!" Weapons came out, glittering in the sunlight as the companions scanned their surroundings, Kyo, Yukimura, and Sasuke probing with their ken-ki.
"If you've come back for a fight, I'm ready to give to ya, you bastard!" Benitora barked his challenge.
"I hardly think you'd be worth my time," the unseen stranger retorted, their voice echoing so it seemed to come from all directions at once, "And besides, you really ought not to be rude to someone who is only trying to help you."
"Help? Don't make me laugh!" Benitora retorted. Then he froze. "Hey wait a minute, you can understand what I'm saying?"
"Of course I understand you, Benitora the Silhouette. Now stop barking, you're giving me a headache!"
"Do you think this is a trap, Kyo-san?" Yukimura asked under his breath.
"Of course I do," Kyo replied, not letting his guard waver one inch. "Whoever you are, show yourself!"
"If that's what you want..."
The air suddenly became ten degrees colder and a black cloud scudded over the face of the sun.
"I've got a bad feeling about this," Yuya mentioned to anyone who was listening.
"KANASHIMI NO BISHONEN SUBJUGATION RYU...DUCT TAPE BIND!"
The battle yell came from overhead, and a dark shape streaked down toward them, aiming for Kyo. Everyone else wisely scattered as Kyo turned to meet the attack. A concussive wave from two ken-ki impacting head-on threw them to the ground as the earth shook. An explosion of light and thunder blanked out the senses of sight and hearing for a few precious moments, until the ground stopped shuddering and all became ominously still.
"What the hell was that?!" Benitora demanded, standing up shakily. He sneezed on the choking cloud of dust that had enveloped them.
"Kyo-sama are you...?" Okuni called anxiously.
"Kyo!" Yuya shouted, running blindly through the clearing cloud to where she had last seen Kyo.
"Ooo, I'm sorry, but Kyo's kinda of tied up for the time being," someone told her cheerfully. Yuya pulled up short, her eyes wide as the dust finally vanished to reveal...
"3.4 seconds is a new record for me, I must admit," the little girl with the pointy ears and taley-bobs sprouting from her forehead informed Yuya, preening as she sat on Kyo's chest. The only reason the irate samurai was not doing anything about it was because he was wrapped head-to-foot in what appeared to be silver ribbon, with a strip of it forming a gag over his mouth. The little girl grinned at Yuya, showing off a pair of ultra-sharp canines. "I'll let him go if you promise to listen to me."
Shock robbed everyone but Yukimura of their power of speech. "Then tell us what it is you have to say," he managed, "eto...?"
"Kanashimi; my name is Kanashimi," the little girl informed him. She frowned. "I thought you knew that already."
"I beg your pardon?" Yukimura blurted.
"What?!" Sasuke and Yuya demanded.
"Bowr?!" "Don't tell me Yukimura's been hiding stuff from us again!"
"Don't be silly!" Kanashimi snapped, flouncing her hair, "All of you know who I am, especially you, Benitora! And you, too, Yuya!"
As one Sasuke, Okuni, and Yukimura turned to stare at the pair so named. "I have no idea what she's talking about!" Yuya protested, while Benitora added his vociferous, intelligible agreement.
"You don't?" Kanashimi asked, clearly disbelieving, "Hmph!" She got to her feet and hopped off Kyo. "Maybe it's because you don't remember my chibi-youkai form, it's been a while after all..." she muttered. She shrugged. "Well, then, there's not choice but to..." She pulled a whip out of thin air and cracked it.
One bolt of black lightning and another cloud of choking blue smoke later, the little demon girl had transformed into a voluptuous young brunette as tall as Yukimura, her mini-skirt and tank-top ensemble replaced by a black and green bamboo-patterned kimono.
"That should do it," Kanashimi announced, "Now then, you can't possibly say you don't recognize me now!"
"No..." Yukimura said for everyone as they gaped at her.
"What?!" Kanashimi demanded, "The fourth wall has been utterly destroyed since onee-sama entered this reality! You should remember every twisted little thing we've done to you!"
They blinked. "'Fourth wall'?" Yukimura echoed.
"What do you mean, 'every twisted little thing'?" Okuni added.
"Erm, well anyway...hmmmm." Kanashimi frowned thoughtfully. Suddenly, her eyes widened. "You should remember it all... unless, somehow...the wall's still intact!"
"What are you talking about?!" Sasuke yelled, at the frayed end of his patience.
"There's no time to explain that, unless you want me going into chaos string theory," Kanashimi said briskly, "In any case, the most important thing is that we must stop my onee-sama... at any cost."
"Who?" Yuya asked.
"My onee-sama. She's the one responsible for all this. She snapped because of finals and now she's gone chaos berserk, turning this reality upside down."
"I'm pretty sure she's speaking Japanese, but I'm not understanding a word she's saying!" Benitora contributed.
"So what you're telling us," Okuni said, glaring at Benitora to shut him up, "is that you are the younger sister of some omnipotent being bent on chaos, who is now here to stop her and in the process, you are enlisting our help."
"Yup," Kanashimi replied with enthusiastic nodding, "Only onee-sama's normally not omnipotent, 'cuz she's got a Code of Fanfic Authoress Ethics that she sticks to that limits her. I'm guessing in her current condition, she's discarded them and that's one of the reasons why everything's so f-ed over and you guys don't even realize it."
"You're being awfully informative for someone who just took down Onime no Kyo," Sasuke noted, "We don't even know if you're telling the truth. What the hell makes you think we'd help? There's no way we can trust you!"
"Well, your other option is that you all fight me right now and then I take Kyo here home as my newest pet," Kanashimi said complacently, "Heads, I win, tails, you lose, if you're going to be like that."
"What?!" Yuya and Okuni demanded.
"You're pretty sure of yourself," Sasuke replied in much the same vein as Kanashimi's. It would have taken a very observant person to note that he had shifted his stance ever-so-slightly...
"Truth be told, she has every right to be, ne?" Yukimura asked, casually stepping in between Sasuke and Kanashimi.
"Yukimura!" Sasuke exclaimed hotly.
"In fact, I am somewhat surprised that someone so powerful would need our help," Yukimura continued, ignoring Sasuke's protest, "Why are you not able to stop your onee-sama unaided?"
Kanashimi appraised him coolly. "Think about it, hon. I'm her younger sister; normally, I'd be able just to guilt, trick, or otherwise manipulate her, but in a situation like this, knowing that she's gone off the deep end, means I appreciate the fact that she can kick my ass."
"Ah, I understand completely," Yukimura said, being a younger sibling himself.
Everyone else exchanged uncomprehending glances.
"So, you'll help me?" Kanashimi asked him.
"Of course," Yukimura replied.
"Hey, wait a minute...!"
"Rawf woof?!" "Are you crazy?!"
"Who died and made you emperor?!"
"Are you trying to get us killed?!"
It took a while, but Yukimura finally persuaded Sasuke, Benitora, Yuya and Okuni to go along with Kanashimi for the time being. "She has said she needs us, and for now, our choices are too limited to do anything else," he said as they all huddled in conference some distance away from Kanashimi.
"Yeah, but why us?" Yuya wanted to know, although she had pretty much resigned herself to Yukimura's line of reasoning.
"Because you all represent the core of this reality," Kanashimi answered her, breaking in, "Sorry, but we really need to get a move on, guys. If my onee-sama is looking to totally screw over this universe like I think she is, you're the ones she'll be after. By making it so you can't function in your proper roles, she'll throw everything out of whack and thus destabilize the very fabric of existence."
"Wow," Yuya gulped, "That sounds pretty serious."
"You have no idea chica," Kanashimi drawled.
"Amazing that something so dangerous can be achieved simply by changing Benitora-kun into a dog and Saizo into a fern," marveled Yukimura.
"Well, that and turning Akira into a stuffed bunny rabbit; onee-sama's far from done, though," Kanashimi said, reaching into her obi and pulling out the plush animal. She tossed it to Yuya, who caught it neatly. "Here, you take him. Since onee-sama's got it into her head that the two of you make an interesting couple thanks to nekozuki1776, he's your responsibility from now on."
"What was that?!" Kyo demanded sharply as Yuya stared dazedly at his former protégé. Only, because he was still encased in and gagged with duct-tape, it came out more as, "Ahhh uhn arrr?!" Benitora added a sharp, threatening growl as he eyed the rabbit like it was a chew toy he couldn't wait to sink his teeth into.
"Oh, don't tell me you're jealous, Kyo-honey, Benitora," Kanashimi cooed. Kyo glared at her over duct-tape gag, while Benitora continued to stare fixedly at Akira-usagi.
"Why do I get the feeling we're all doomed?" Sasuke commented.
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Migeira was enjoying the fine weather in his particular way; that is, he was composing various haiku in his head as he ambled along with a fixed frown of concentration on his face that warned off anyone who might be foolish enough to approach him.
'The distant petal
Drifted languidly, unseen
Stirred by unfelt breeze'
He was rather pleased with himself. It had irked him that he had missed the Edo cherry blossom season thanks in no small part to his task of observing Onime no Kyo and those traveling with him. To compose a poem of wistful longing for that missed opportunity suited his mood.
"Round, round, upside derivative of the mean sample score..."
The sing-song child's voice caught him in his tracks. Migeira scanned the immediate area, wondering how on earth he had failed to sense the presence of another. There was a roadside shrine crowded with miniature Jizo statues several paces ahead; crouched in front of it, staring fixedly at the spinning pinwheels scattered among the statuettes was a little girl who could have been no more than five.
'Well, that explains it,' Migeira consoled himself as he regarded her, 'An innocent would not project any malice in her ki, and could thus be safely disregarded. I do wonder where her parents are, though.'
"Spinny, spin-spin, the colors within...predicted y-value is constant a plus slope times standard deviation-y over standard deviation-x times the x-value..."
But as Migeira took another, careful look at the seemingly oblivious child, it became apparent that something just wasn't right. It wasn't really her appearance that set him on edge (though admittedly, her hot-pink pigtails and strange garments were somewhat odd). No, something about her ki was simply...off, and the more he focused on her, the more bizarre and dangerous she seemed.
'If I didn't know better, I'd say she seems more like a being above this plane of existence than part of it.' A desire to run like hell as far as he could from this strange child took root in Migeira. As much as he hated such cowardly action, it struck him as an entirely excellent plan of action. This person, or whatever they were, was not someone he could or should try to come toe-to-toe with.
As it turned out, Migeira need not have troubled himself with his line of analytical thought. As he stood there, the little girl abruptly stopped singing.
"From Jizo's haven...the fledgling sparrow tumbles...as seen from hawk's height." She did not turn to look at him.
Migeira's breath caught. If he was not mistaken, the strange child had just alluded to a haiku that would not be composed for a century and a half! "As the arrow flies...the waiting hawk swift descends...but misses his mark," he replied, readying his Muramasa cannon.
"Unspecified variant z independently affects y apart from x... aren't you being a little too optimistic?" she retorted with a giggle.
"Perhaps," Migeira replied, leveling his cannon at the back of her head.
Unseen by him, the little girl grinned, her pink eyes glinting with mad glee...
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"So we really don't have a better course of action than to wait for your onee-sama to attack us again, do we, Kanashimi-san," Yukimura said as the group walked along, shaded by the overarching branches of the forest that spread out for miles on either side of the narrow road they traveled.
"If I had any idea who exactly she'd attack next, we would," Kanashimi replied disconsolately, "But I don't."
"Well, as much as I dislike being on the defensive, I think that as long as we know how she'll attack, we'll be able to prepare for it," Yukimura said, already running various stratagems through his mind. He had only been attacked once, but Yukimura had a fairly good idea of what to expect. Even though Kanashimi had made her elder sister out to be a formidable foe, he was supremely confident in his ability to turn the situation to his advantage.
In any other scenario, the master general might have been justified in his assessment, but only Kanashimi knew that, and she wasn't about to put a damper on him. She needed all of his confidence for what was coming.
"Benitora, the next time you allow yourself to get turned into something without opposable thumbs, I am not carrying your crap for you!" Yuya huffed, "This damn thing weighs a ton and I... oh, dammit!"
Sasuke had to side-step quickly as Yuya tripped on a projection in the uneven road, nearly braining him with the haft of Benitora's hassun as she tried simultaneously to right herself and keep a grip on the weapon, Benitora's clothes, and Akira.
"Gomen, Sasuke-kun!" Yuya apologized immediately before turning a baleful glare on Benitora, who yipped and danced away from her.
"It's not like I tripped you or anything! Besides, I wasn't the one who decided to carry all my stuff; that was all you, Yuya-han!"
"You're unbelievable," Kyo snorted, coming up behind the scarlet-faced Yuya and jerking the hassun from her grasp, "I'm surprised you've managed to survive this long, given how klutzy you are."
"Oh, shut up!" Yuya snarled, "And I'm not klutzy!"
Kyo raised a sardonic eyebrow, which made Yuya so angry that steam practically came out of her ears. "Shut up!" she snapped again, "I can take care of myself! Just give me a second!" Without further ado, she stuffed Akira feet-first into the front of her obi and then retied Benitora's clothing bundle with her hair ribbon so that she could carry it slung over one shoulder like a purse. She thrust her hand out for the hassun, glaring darkly at Kyo.
"Tch, like I'm going to give this back to you after you've already proved you're too feckless to control it," Kyo said. Not giving Yuya another chance to protest, he walked on ahead, his katana slung over his shoulder while he carried the hassun easily in his other hand. "And don't do that to Akira; he has it bad enough without being pressed up against your flat chest as it is," he called over his shoulder.
"Flat chest?!" Yuya fairly shrieked. Her hand went for her revolver, only to find it stopped by Okuni.
"Listen to me, you stupid girl!" Okuni hissed, her dark eyes flashing, "Can't you see that Kyo-sama has decided to help you, even though you didn't ask for it?!"
Yuya blinked, so taken aback that the expletive she had prepared died before it reached her lips. Her eyes flicked to Kyo, who kept walking, seemingly oblivious. 'Kyo, helping me? That can't be it...can it?'
Okuni noted the confusion overtaking the anger on Yuya's face. "You really are ignorant of why he does what he does, aren't you," she observed, almost to herself. As it was, Okuni was only too aware of what Kyo's latest attentions toward this shrieking, under-developed snip of a girl portended. 'Even if she's like Sakuya at heart, she's so different in other ways, I can't even begin to fathom why...' The fallen miko let go of Yuya's wrist and flounced away with a superior sniff.
"Okuni-san..." Yuya stared after her in bewilderment. Then she shook her head vigorously. 'I don't know what she thinks she's trying to do, talking like that! As if Kyo has the slightest interest in me, other than as a sake fund!'
Her perceptions set to right once more, Yuya pulled Benitora's clothing bundle over one shoulder and took Akira out of her obi with her free hand. "Gomen ne, Akira-san," she said, looking down at him, "I wasn't thinking. I hope you won't hold that against me." 'And I don't care what Kyo says, I'm hardly flat-chested!' she added to herself, unconsciously crossing her arms over her chest.
If Benitora was displeased by Akira's new and advantageous proximity to Yuya's (ahem!) assets, there was another person equally displeased by the spike in the transformed swordsman's ki that broadcasted his acute awareness of just where he was.
'Why on earth is Kyo-sama growling like that?' Okuni wondered, sparing the object of her obsession a puzzled glance. She noted the white-knuckled grip on both his katana and Benitora's hassun and pursed her full lips.
"Oi, someone's coming!" Sasuke hissed, stopping in his tracks as his hackles rose. Despite his constant maligning of his unfortunate comrade, the young onimitsu carefully set Saizo's pot on the road before reaching for his katana.
Unconsciously, everyone, excepting Kyo and Kanashimi, fell back toward each other, forming a defensive ring.
"I know this ki," Kyo announced, thrusting the tri-fold blade of Benitora's hassun into the dirt before unsheathing his own Muramasa. 'But there's something different about it...'
"Well, it's not my onee-sama, so I think you guys can relax," Kanashimi suggested, even though she had her whip out and at the ready.
They all looked at her dubiously.
Crack!
The sound of a twig being stepped on was enough to alert Kyo to the attack. His head swerved in its direction as he brought his katana to bear...
...approximately .05 seconds too late to avoid getting cross-tackled by a very cute blonde little boy with metal studs in his ears.
"Kyo-nii-chan!" the little boy squealed delightedly, "I found you first, I win!"
"...the hell?" Kyo managed weakly, actually dropping his archetypal ultimate-bad-ass facade for a moment to gape in surprise. He pried the pre-schooler off his torso and hauled him up in mid-air by one arm. "Hotaru?"
"Yup!" the formerly-blasé-fire-wielding-swordsman-now-apparently-turned-into-a-hyperactive-four-year-old agreed happily. "I found you first, I win!"
"It seems Kanashimi's onee-sama has claimed another victim," Yukimura observed grimly.
"Forget turning Saizo into a potted plant, that's just sick!" Sasuke mumbled, only to be nearly deafened by Yuya's shriek of "Oh my God, he's so CUTE!"
The bounty huntress broke ranks and ran over to where Kyo was still dangling the chibified Hotaru in a state of shock. "Can I hold him, please?!" she begged Kyo.
Wordlessly, Kyo passed Hotaru (still shouting "I found Kyo-nii-chan first, I win!" at the top of his lungs) to her, whereupon Yuya glomped the chibi so tightly Hotaru wheezed and gasped for air (he also stopped shouting, which was a plus). "Eeeeee, I can't believe a cute little boy like you is out wandering around the forest completely alone!" Yuya exclaimed.
"Apparently she didn't hear a word about him being Hotaru," Okuni noted snidely.
"Hey, Yuya-han, stop hugging him like that!" Benitora barked. He noticed that Yuya had had the presence of mind to keep a firm hold on Akira despite her ecstatic reaction to chibi-Hotaru. 'I'm the only one being left out of that hug! No fair!' he thought.
"Ne, Hotaru-chan," Kanashimi said, after gently disengaging Yuya's near chokehold on the poor kid, "What did you mean when you said, 'I found Kyo-nii-chan first, I win'?"
"I found him first, so I won!" Hotaru said brightly. He promptly stuck his thumb in his mouth, causing Yuya to gush over how cute he was once again, while Sasuke and Benitora tried not to gag; even Yukimura looked slightly ill from the overdose of kawaii-ness.
The corner of Kanashimi's left eye twitched ever-so-slightly. "What. Did. You. Win?" she asked very slowly and very patiently.
Hotaru popped his thumb out of his mouth, his dazed, vacant expression more attuned with his normal persona. "She didn't say," he finally said, frowning. Then he shrugged. "Doesn't matter, I won the race!"
"Who's "she"?" Yukimura inquired next, laying a restraining hand on Kanashimi's shoulder to prevent her from trying to throttle Hotaru.
"I dunno, but she said she's my new friend," Hotaru answered glibly. His sharp green eyes caught sight of Sasuke's ball-and-cup toy. "Ooo, can I play with that?!"
"No," Sasuke said in an incredibly abrupt and irritated voice, the corner of his left eye twitching.
"You're mean!" Hotaru observed, and proceeded to start bawling at pitch that left Benitora rolling in the dirt in agony.
"Make him stop, make him stop, make him stoooooooooooooooooop!" Benitora begged, howling pitifully.
Yuya finally succeeded in calming Hotaru down by letting him hold Akira-usagi and convincing Sasuke to let the chibified swordsman play with his toy ("You're the older boy, that makes you responsible for being the mature one!")
"Bullshit, Hotaru's easily six years older than me!" Sasuke pointed out, but he surrendered the item under Yuya's wilting glare and Yukimura's casually raised eyebrow.
It was only after Hotaru was gleefully absorbed in the toy that anyone noticed Okuni had gone missing.
"She's escalating," Kanashimi was saying to Yukimura, "Before, onee-sama was only changing the outward appearance of her victims; now it seems like she's changing their fundamental nature too."
Yukimura's lips thinned as he processed Kanashimi's evaluation. "I cannot but agree with you, Kanashimi-san," he replied, "Now we must be doubly on the lookout or risk..."
"Where's Okuni?" Kyo asked suddenly, after finally managing to tear his disbelieving eyes away from chibi-Hotaru. He scanned the area, probing with his ki when he could not catch sight of the fallen miko.
"Okuni-san?" Yuya asked, startled. She also looked around for Okuni. "She was standing right behind me, just before Hotaru-chan appeared..."
Kyo flinched slightly at the endearment she added to his former comrade's name, but otherwise kept up his search.
"Hey, hey, guys! I think I could probably sniff her out!" Benitora contributed.
"Good idea, Benitora," Kanashimi said, "Go get her, boy, go get her! Fetch the miko!"
Benitora gave her a Look that would have been accompanied by an obscene hand gesture had his current physiology allowed it, and then set to work. Retracing their steps, he quickly found the most recent scent markers left by the miko. "Wa-choo!" 'Dang it, that woman wears too much perfume!'
'Unless the earth simply swallowed her when I wasn't looking, I should be able to sense her!' Kyo thought, frowning. It was not that he was worried about the annoying woman, of course; he simply did not appreciate the fact that his superior senses had been confounded.
"I'm sure Benitora can find her, Kyo, don't worry," Yuya said at just that moment, noticing the way Kyo seemed to radiate tension.
Kyo's face dead-panned as he looked at her.
"Do you think it's possible your onee-sama managed to lure her away while we were otherwise occupied?" Yukimura asked Kanashimi out of the side of his mouth as he followed Benitora's progress with his eyes.
Kanashimi blinked. "I should hope not," she said, "Otherwise that means she's found a way to mask her ki, even from me." Kanashimi shuddered at the mere thought.
"Hm." Yukimura was beginning to wonder if even he had underestimated their adversary...
"She went this way!" Benitora announced excitedly as Okuni's scent trail suddenly veered off the road into the forest, "Come on, you guys, she might be in some serious trouble!" Baying like a bloodhound, he dove into the undergrowth, in hot pursuit of his quarry.
"Benitora no baka!" Yuya shouted after him, "Don't run off like that, you might...!"
"Great, now we have to chase after the idiot to make sure he doesn't hurt himself," Sasuke groused, picking up Saizo and starting after Benitora.
"No choice," Yukimura sighed, "We can't allow anyone to get separated from the rest of the group or we risk losing another member of our party." He grinned sardonically at the remaining companions and gestured to the forest. "Shall we?" he said, as though asking if they wanted to enter a particular restaurant.
"We who are about to die..." Kanashimi intoned as they stepped off the road into the gloaming shadows. Only Yukimura was amused.
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"Okuni-han? Okuni-han, where the heck are you?" Benitora called, circling the small clearing for the nth time. He had followed the woman's scent for a fair clip when, suddenly, it had been overwhelmed by a strong alien scent that effectively short-circuited his sense of smell. 'And just when I was getting used to it, too,' he thought regretfully, sneezing and snorting in an attempt clear his nasal passages.
A rustle in the underbrush made him pause; it might have been only a squirrel or some other forest animal.
"Okuni-han?"
There was some more rustling, followed by something that could only be a very soft, very human cry of dismay.
'That settles it!' Former caution forgotten, Benitora raced forward, diving through the branches with a howl of "Don't worry, Okuni-han, I found ya!"
The high-pitched scream ripped through the forest, scattering the birds from their tree-top perches...
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"Okuni-san!" Yukimura whirled, trying to determine the direction from which the fading scream had come.
"This way!" Kyo shouted, already plunging headlong into the dense stand of saplings and intertwined brambles to their left.
Sasuke, who had been making his way above their heads by going from tree branch to tree branch (quite nimbly despite his hold on Saizo), cursed and leaped down to earth. "Here, you take him!" he ordered Yuya, thrusting the pot into her hands before disappearing after Kyo.
"Didn't you just say that it was a good idea for us to stick together to avoid getting picked off one-by-one?" Kanashimi asked Yukimura as she gazed stolidly after the pair.
"Aa," Yukimura sighed, "But I suppose if anyone is to go off alone, those two can take the best care of themselves."
"Need I remind you that I whupped Kyo in less than five seconds because I got the drop on him?"
Yukimura swore internally before plastering a rather strained smile on his face as he asked Yuya, "Shall I take Saizo from you, Yuya-san?"
"Please do!" Yuya replied emphatically, handing Saizo off. "Come here, Hotaru-chan, Yuya-nee-san's going to give you a piggy-back ride!"
"Yay!" Hotaru cheered, clambering up on her proffered back.
"He's got such short legs, he wouldn't be able to keep up running through those thorns," Yuya explained to Kanashimi and Yukimura, who were watching the bizarre tableau with deceptively blank faces.
"Um...okay," Kanashimi said neutrally.
Muttering something about "maternal instincts" and stifling the urge to laugh his head off, Yukimura quickly led what remained of their party through the rending thorns so skillfully, not even the trailing hem of a kimono was caught among them.
"Kyo-san! Sasuke!" he hailed as he caught sight of them, standing in a clearing only a little ways ahead.
Kyo looked over his shoulder as the group jogged up to him. Upon noticing Hotaru clinging to Yuya's back like a baby koala, the corner of his left eye twitched ever-so-slightly.
"You shouldn't have just run off like that!" Yuya admonished him, ignoring the look he was giving her, "Didn't Yukimura-san just say...!"
"Oh my goodness, Yuya-san!" a well-cultured, astonished voice shrilled, "How could you...?! That's absolutely scandalous!"
"Eh?" Yuya managed before she was enveloped in a flurry of red and white cloth and a voice clucking, "...showing that much leg, in public no less! Shameless!" Someone attempted to yank out the kilted fold that kept the hem of her kimono just below her knees.
"Okuni-san, what the hell are you doing?!" Yuya demanded above Hotaru's loud yelps of surprise as she tried to fend off the miko.
"But, Yuya-san, you're simply... inappropriate!" Okuni gasped, backing away with a hurt, offended air, "I'm just trying to help!"
"Eh?" Yuya repeated, torn between righteous indignation and just-plain-weirded-out. She took a good look at Okuni and noticed that something was... different. "Okuni-san... what happened to your clothes?"
"Nothing whatsoever!" Okuni sniffed huffily, bringing the collar of her kimono more snugly about her throat, "Imagine, I woke up to discover Benitora drooling over me, but small wonder, seeing as my clothes were hanging off of me most inappropriately! Oh!" She gasped, clapping a hand over her mouth and coloring bright red as she surveyed the gathering that stared back at her in complete shock. "To imagine that I embarrassed myself in such a manner, for so long! I forbid any of you men to think about how slatternly I presented myself! And Yuya-san, really, don't you think you should lengthen your kimono?"
"Sweet shade of Betty Page!" Kanashimi blurted, wide-eyed, "Okuni's been turned into a prude!"
"I am merely being modest, as befits a miko!" Okuni retorted sharply.
"Since when do you care about that, Okuni-han? Snap out of it, you're scaring me!" Benitora yowled, while Kyo and Yuya stared, pole-axed.
"This is bad, this is a bad bad thing..." Sasuke muttered dazedly.
"That might be a bit of an understatement, Sasuke-kun," Yukimura said, regarding Okuni with a mixture of horror and disbelief.
"She's gone too far," Kanashimi declared, narrowing her eyes to mere slits, "Onee-sama, you simply don't mess with fan-service and get away with it. From here on out, this means war!"
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Author's Note: I make reference to a haiku composed by Issa (1762 – 1826) that reads (translated):
The young sparrows
return into Jizo's sleeve
for sanctuary
No real purpose in it, other than to have fun with Migeira's near-absolute pre-cognizance.