To Know You
Chapter Two: Junon Reunion
By Darknightdestiny

"He's not coming."

"I knew it."

"Well that doesn't seem fair."

Several pairs of eyes were fixed on the small card embossed with his name as it sat before an empty chair.

"What, is he too good for us all of a sudden?"

"...All of a sudden?"

"I don't think he likes us."

"I couldn't-!" Tifa's voice shouted over the others in frustration before she realized that everyone had quieted and turned their attention to her. "...I couldn't find him," she finished softly. "I tried."

An awkward silence hung over the candle lit table, a tightness still hiding in her chest. The dim light showed signs of the faces before her turning sympathetic, even though the night was supposed to be filled with happiness. The others had all left their respective homes and the duties they had just to be together for a short while. Cid had left Rocket Town, Barret had left Corel...Nanaki had travelled from Cosmo Canyon and Yuffie had gone over all the way from Wutai. Even Reeve was there, and Cloud had left his small home near the memorial in Midgar, where Aeris' church used to be.

Tifa had spent almost half a year searching for Vincent; ever since she'd revisited the memory of that talk they had the year before, she'd wanted to find him. When she'd gone through that box and found the tape he'd given her, she'd had so many thoughts, gotten so many questions. She felt so badly that she might never get the chance to find out or have another talk with him like that again. When he'd let her in that one time, sat down with her and shared a small bit about himself with her, she'd felt so honored. She knew he wasn't the kind of person who would do that for just anybody, and the idea that she'd never get to do it again made her sad. She'd wanted to really get to know him, so she could appreciate him for who he was, as a friend, and not just as an ally.

She had tried, and she had told the others that she was going to do so. They all wished her luck, but some of them told her that there was no way she was ever going to succeed. 'Why?' she had asked. 'Because...' they had told her, 'He doesn't want to be found.'

Tifa had known that they were probably right, and that he most likely had left in the first place because he had wanted to leave everything behind. Still, even if that were true, she had a feeling that he would be lonely and that no one, not even Vincent, truly wanted to be alone. And so she tried anyways, looking up numbers, contacting families with his last name, searching libraries for public records.

And she was unsuccessful. Apparently, he had wanted to disappear.

And having the past that he did, the only thing he had to hide was the year that he'd spent awake after his first disappearance. Naturally, there wasn't much of a record to start with. Now her friends looked back at her with sad faces, the same rueful grimaces that were always reserved for her, the one who had to have the bad things softened because everyone thought she carried too much already.

The shadowed figures at the table were silent as a violin played in the background, something, Tifa thought bitterly, that was all too perfect for the occassion. Guests were on the dance floor just beyond their setting, and the lights from above were a giant spotlight that shone upon the floor. Watching the dancers thread in and out of their patterns, she felt so detached from the wonderful time she was supposed to be having. Sitting far away in the dark, she felt so alone, even though she was surrounded by her friends.

She didn't want to accept that she was never going to see him again. There was so much left unsaid...it reminded her of the feeling one gets when they never get to say goodbye to a loved one when they die, all because they didn't bother to stay close to them in life. He'd just disappeared, and she'd never gotten to tell him that she cared about what happened to him after that. She'd told all of her friends in AVALANCHE that she wanted to see them again, that she'd grown attached to them, and that they had to keep in touch with her. But not Vincent. He had disappeared and not given her the chance to hang on to him like she did to everybody else.

It didn't seem fair. And to Tifa, Vincent had seemed like the person who had needed it most, even though he had also seemed like the person who would be least likely to accept it openly. But Tifa had a secret. With each one of her friends, she had a goal that she wanted to achieve in their lives. They weren't all goals that she had control over, but she still had them.

She wanted to see Cid be genuinely kind to Shera once. Admitting that he was wrong over one isolated incident wasn't enough for her; she wanted to see him do something special for her sometime, because he cared. While she couldn't make him do that, it was something she wished for on those nights she stared at the sky.

She wanted to see all of the children her friends were going to have, if indeed they were going to have any. She wanted to see Marlene grow up and become something great. She wanted to see Nanaki's children, if it were possible for him to find another of his kind to mate with, meet their grandfather and hear his story. She wanted to see Yuffie lead Wutai into greatness, and she wanted to see Barret enjoy his daughter's life, and no doubt beat up the first guy who would ask her on a date. She wanted to see Reeve help to stabilize Neo-Midgar, and feel like he was helping all the people he had put so much of his life towards doing just that. She wanted to see Cloud truly happy and living a peaceful life without any bad memories, and only happiness when he visited the church.

As for Vincent, all she wanted from him was just one hug. It would take a long time, but she was willing to wait. He was so good at dodging human contact that at once it seemed like it would never happen. But she had gotten to know his expressions, and she knew some of the things that set him off in different directions. She had gotten to talk with him a couple more times since that one incident, but they were mostly about the upcoming battle and the things that were going on at the moment. She hadn't asked him any more personal questions, even though they had been alone during their talks. She had been afraid of driving him away.

"Aw, Tif!" Cid's voice cut into her thoughts. "Watcha need to do is quit mopin' around. So Vince ain't here...I kinda wish he was, but he probably didn't want to be found. Let's just...be happy for him and enjoy the night, okay?"

Tifa blinked at him for a moment, then sighed. "Cid...you're right. I guess I'll try not to bring you all down."

"Now we're talkin'!" Yuffie piped up. "Hey...you wanna split this with me?" she motioned to the dessert in front of her. "I'll never finish it on my own."

Tifa shook her head. "I'm not really that hungry."

"Aww...well, do you wanna go dancing? I bet we could grab a couple of cute guys, and-"

"No...I'm not really in the mood for that right now." Tifa looked down at the table. She'd said she wouldn't bring the rest of them down, but she just didn't feel like making the most of the night. All her life she had tried to look on the bright side of things and cheer everyone else up, but she had put so much of herself into this that she didn't feel like trying any more that night. She just needed to be alone to think about things. She looked up from the lace cloth that was draped over the table and gave a sad smile to the ninja girl. "You guys have fun without me. I'm going to go outside for a while."

Cid watched as Tifa walked away, through the french doors that lined the patio and out onto the balcony, and he rubbed his forehead when they clicked shut. "Well if that ain't the shittiest feelin' in the whole world."

"Yeah? What're we goin' ta do 'bout it?" Barret's deep voice resonated throughout the wooden table.

Cloud spoke up. "Tifa...has always been a giving person. When she can't seem to fix something that she feels is broken- or someone that she thinks need caring- then it makes her sad." The rest of them watched him with understanding. "I know that she's not out there thinking about herself right now and how upset it's making her. She's out there thinking about him right now, worrying about him and assuming the worst."

"Well," Nanaki spoke from his spot on the floor beside Cloud's feet, "if she continues down this path, she may make herself ill."

Cloud sighed. "I know. But it's how she's always been. Once she starts working on someone, it's never finished until she sees that she's made some difference in their life."

"But she probably won't ever see Vinny again," Yuffie reminded him.

"...That's why we're so worried."

"Well I don' know about all of you," came the gruff voice of the pilot, "but it's time I had my cigarette." He smirked at the others and followed Tifa out to the balcony where he lit one up and leaned against the railing, exhaling short clouds of grey mist.

Tifa stood with her arms bent, leaning out onto the railing. Her head was held high, and she was looking at the stars. Cid moved over to where she was and leaned casually onto the railing next to her.

"So," he started.

Tifa looked over at him. "Hm?"

"What happened to th' girl I used t' know?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, Cid." Tifa looked back up to the sky.

"This thing's got you really depressed, eh?"

Tifa sighed again, and her shoulders slumped downwards. She hardly felt elegant in the long white evening dress she was clad in. She looked weary and hadn't had much of an appetite in a while. "Cid, I don't know what to do."

Cid took a long drag from his cigarette before smothering it on the railing and flicking it off the side of the building, into the garden.

"Cid!"

"Nothin'."

Tifa stared at him. "...What?"

"You don' do nothin'." He caught Tifa's blank expression. "Oh, Tif', I know yer' feelin' bad 'bout this whole thing, but you can't keep mopin' around like this. You can't control it. If Vince wants t' be left alone, then he wants t' be left alone." He lit up another cigarette and took another drag.

"...I can't help but wonder if maybe he doesn't, and I just didn't try hard enough."

"Tif', I hate t' break this to you..." He held the smoke in for a while and closed his eyes before letting it escape through his partly open mouth. "But if he wanted t' be found, he coulda gone t' one of the other places we'd be sure to be 'round."

"...Huh?" Tifa shot Cid a perplexed look, accented by the purple and yellow lights just below them on the front of the building, which covered in black lettering that announced to the world that the AVALANCHE reunion was being held there.

"Y'know. Rocket Town, Cosmo Canyon. Ever'one knew Barret was goin' back to Corel, 'cause that's what he kept sayin'. Said he was gonna fix it up, t' make up for whatever happen'd there in th' past." He took another long drag from the cigarette. "If Vince was lookin' fer company, he woulda known t' go there, iffin' he wanted t' find us."

Tifa looked down into the garden below, a lush carpet of green grass surrounding a fountain. The garden walls were bushes lined with all sorts of colorful flowers. In the corners were trees that stretched almost up to the top story where she was standing, and the were hung with plumeria blooms and orchids.

Outside the garden walls, the city was relentlessly loud, and peace of mind was lost. The streets were filled with traffic, and neon lights shone from every skyscraper. Voices shouted across the street where the vendors were selling their goods in the open court of the shopping plaza. Children skated over the walkways and families crossed the streets together, hand in hand, to the theatre. The Neo-Midgar Symphony was in town, and it was going to be quite a spectacular performance, or so it was said.

Tifa took a minute to take in the atmosphere, the sights and sounds mingling with the smell of nicotine on Cid's breath, carried over to her on a gentle breeze. It was amazing how much the city of Junon had grown since the last time they were all there together, and she was disappointed that Vincent wasn't there to enjoy it.

Tifa gave a small, sad shrug of defeat. "I guess you're right. He didn't want to be found..."

"I'm sorry, kiddo." He put an arm around her shoulders, and she hugged him, burying her face in his shoulder to stop the wetness that had started in the corners of her eyes. He felt her shoulders begin to shake, and he reached up and took his cigarette in hand, and put it out on the railing. "Aw...don' cry, Tif'. You did all you could."

"I'm not sure," she sobbed into his shoulder. He held her tight and rocked her back and forth.

"But you did. And it's done. You don't need t' worry about anythin' anymore. I know he wouldn' ever say it, but you know what he'd want ya t' do right now?" Tifa looked up at him with wet cheeks and shook her head. "He'd want ya t' go in there an' have the time of yer life."

Tifa looked over at the staircase leading from the balcony into the garden. It was long, stretching several stories, and it was carved with intricate designs of leaves, blossoms, and birds. She looked back up at Cid and nodded. "Thanks, Cid. You've always been such a good friend to me."

"Nah, don' mention it. Wanna go inside?"

"...In a minute. I think I just need to cool down for a bit."

"Y' want me t' stay?"

Tifa smiled and shook her head. "I'll be fine."

"Alright, then. You jes' remember what I said."

"I will."

Cid pulled her into a tight hug and then disappeared through the doors to the dining room, where he met up with the others. Tifa let a shaky breath escape her chest, and she tried to calm herself. She reached up and wiped her eyes dry with the back of her hand and leaned backwards against the railing, her back to the city and her head tilted in the direction of the staircase.

After a few minutes, she decided that a walk in the garden would be the best thing for her, and so she made her way over to the stairs and began her slow decent into the green.