Chapter Seven: Learning to Live
By Darknightdestiny
Lyrics echoed back to her from the tile walls as she sang. It was a melancholy tune, a rather sad melody that built itself upon rounds of waves that seemed to represent a breaking heart.
She continued running her fingers through her slippery hair, making sure all traces of sweet-smelling conditioner were gone. When all she could feel was her sleek strands, she turned off her shower faucet and grabbed the soft, beige towel from the door. She wrapped it around her athletic yet voluptuous frame and wrung her hair out onto the shower floor before stepping out onto the warm tile. Stopping to light a lavender-scented candle, she ran her hand over the steam-tinged glass of the mirror in front of her and began to remove the towel from her body and run it over her tresses.
She stopped and stared at herself for a moment, noticing how the hot water had turned her skin a rosy shade of pink. One corner of her mouth turned up softly, and the other soon followed in amusement. All of her smiles had seemed so sad and far off ever since her mother died. Even the immense relief that had come with knowing that Sephiroth was gone and the planet was safe at last, she had found little to smile about since then.
She hung her towel on the shower door once again, knowing that she would wash it before she used it again, but folding it neatly at the corners still. She took her clothes from next to the sink and slipped them on. She reached out to the basket in the corner of the countertop and retrieved a large clip with which to pull her hair back; she then began to wash her face.
Vincent stood patiently in the same spot she had left him in. There, in the middle of her new apartment, he pondered what he was doing there, and whether or not he should even have returned in the first place. He knew, deep down inside, that if he hadn't, he would have spent the next year wondering how she had been. And he also knew that even though he had come, he would still spend the next year wondering how he might find her the next time he happened upon her. He had missed watching over her. Out of all the members of AVALANCHE, he had enjoyed her company the most. One on one, the rest were not so bad. But he found her company the most fulfilling of all. He could stand most of them if they were alone, but whenever he left her, he felt like he took something new with him, even if it was nothing more than something he had gathered from mere observation of her.
He had watched her fake a smile here and there, a sad and pathetic smile that he recognized all too well. He had stood by and watched her pine for Cloud, and mourn over Aeris' death like she had caused it somehow with her secret envy. He had watched her countless times as she stood on the deck of the Highwind, just looking at the stars. Just observing, merely existing. Heads clear and hearts trying not to dwell on anything but the moment. But the harder one tries not to dwell on something, the harder it becomes, and though his presence had been undetected, he could feel her heart dropping each time.
Of course he had reason to believe that she was not well, after all this time. Tifa was the type of person to dwell on everything until a resolve was met, and until someone else actually noticed that she needed some time spent on her, someone to sit and listen to her even if they offered nothing in return, she would never be all right.
His attention shifted at the slight creaking of the hinges to the bathroom door. He turned in time to see Tifa emerge from the room, and he even noticed the temperature of the room change as small whisps of steam escaped the small quarters. No longer alone in his reverie, he nodded to her in acknoledgement of her presence.
Tifa's eyes lit up in amusement. "You haven't had a seat yet?" She laughed softly, and it seemed to him it was almost forced. "You know my home is your home." Not quite sure of what to make of that, he obeyed and sat in the lone recliner.
Tifa walked into the kitchen and began to prepare some tea. Since it was only the two of them, she made single servings in cups rather than boil a kettle of water. "How have you been?" she called from the kitchen.
The room was silent on his end.
"Vincent?"
"...As expected. I suppose..."
Tifa smiled a small smile, and a genuine one this time, but only to herself. A typical response from a not-so-typical man. Then again, it was a rather general question. She let the room grow silent for the duration of a couple minutes. Just enough to finish the tea; she knew he wouldn't walk out despite the lack of conversation if he hadn't already left by then. When she was finished, she lifted the tea mugs from their place on the counter and walked back out into the living room.
"So," she began, "how long do you plan on staying in Junon?"
Vincent took the mug from her extended hand and set it onto his lap. Staring down at the contents, he answered her. "Until I decide it is time to move on."
"Well, when will that be?" she asked, the obvious answer being that he had not yet decided, but her outburst was a natural reaction to her fear that one day he might be suddenly unavailable to her and she might never see him again.
"...I do not know. I am not entirely sure what I am looking for here. There is not much left for me to do but to wander."
Tifa blinked back at him. She started, but closed her mouth once again. She didn't know what to say to that; it was a surprisingly honest and complete answer, and it revealed much more than she had expected to get out of him that entire evening. She was afraid to probe further, and yet, she didn't want their night to end just yet.
She was suddenly filled with such concern for him, such a sadness deep inside, that she realized her subconscious meaning in keeping him around. There was so much she didn't know, so much she had left to find out about her friend's inner workings, that she couldn't imagine letting him go. She was sure that, given her entire lifetime, she still would never know everything there was to know about Vincent Valentine.
"Please, Vincent." Tifa spoke, breaking the uncomfortable silence that had set in. "Stay a while."
There was a short pause, and it seemed as if he was mulling it over in his head. But Tifa knew that answers like these were the type that Vincent would already have decided upon. He didn't need to think it over; his mind would have been made up, even if he didn't know it yet. Vincent was the kind of person who was set in his ways. His heart tended to lean one way or the other, though if anyone ever wondered at that aloud, he would deny that he had a heart, or that he felt anything with it. If he were to change, there would have to be extenuating circumstances...
"I have no reason to go in a hurry," he said. "I have no plans."
One corner of Tifa's mouth inched upwards in a sort of feminine smirk that only she could produce. "So you have time for me after all?"
"I have...all the time you need." The implications in this reply and all the pricetags that went along with it were of no point to him. He was miles away from what this could mean for him further down the road in their friendship. But to her, it was like a promise that he would be there when she needed him. And whether it was or not, on his part, she was going to hold him to it.
Yes, she decided then and there, silently to herself, she would hold him to it.
"So...why here, in the first place?"
"...The weather."
Tifa wondered at this. "Oh?" The weather in Junon was, she thought, horrible. It could be foggy one night, then rainy the next, thunderstorms brewing all the time. Because of the rain, it was often chilly and it was easy to catch a cold. And it always seemed so dark...
"I enjoy the weather. It's suitable enough." How beautiful it seemed to him, he did not mention. How he felt at home in it, he did not say. But it was, and he did.
"Oh."
Silence.
"Well...what have you been doing? How do you spend your free time?"
One eyebrow quirked at the mention of free time. "You make it sound as if I have other business to attend to."
"You know what I mean. And if you say that, then next time you try to get out of something by saying you have business to attend to, I'll simply reply that you don't." She smirked again in that adorable way that nearly revealed a small dimple in her cheek that she'd had ever since she was a small child. It didn't go unnoticed.
"...Very well." He paused, taking in the air of the room thinly through his nose. It smelled of...lavender. Hot water...mist...body heat...soap. It was comfortable, relaxing, and familiar. It made him want to take a nap. He quickly shook the mental intrusion away. "I spend my time taking in everything around me."
"...That's it?"
"That's it."
"And...?"
"And I appreciate it. If I must exist, I must not loathe it. And what else is there?"
Silence.
He had given it away. Whether or not he realized it, he had given away something that made him so vulnerable to her, so suddenly and verily different than before. Just one subtle change had taken place in him over the last nine months, and it wasn't the dinner scene they had caused, though the scene itself might have been a result of it.
"Vincent?"
He had succumbed.
"...Yes?"
He had given in.
"Will you..." She paused in hesitation before recovering her ground. "Will you come out to the bar tomorrow and meet me there?"
He had finally learned to live.
A/N: Well I finally updated. I wanted to, really I did. I've just been so busy with working and saving and trying to get out of Florida. He's got two jobs now though, so I get a lot of time to myself at the apartment that I'd rather not have because I don't know what to do with myself. Maybe I can write again. I just need some motivation and to get rid of my block.
That smirk that only she can pull off? That's mine. The one trait I always hated in myself, but my father and Joe tell me is something endearing and attractive, and possibly part of the reason I get sincere attention. Strange.
Thanks so much to everyone who stuck around and waited for this. I appreciate it so very much.
And a very special Thank-you to thelittletree and JessAngel. You know why.