Zoelle stared at the picture of her sister Sybil on the screen in front of her. Sybil had been beautiful with her long, blonde hair and sky blue eyes. The girl next door type to look at. The popular one. The golden child.
And now the dead child.
There were two years between them. Zoelle was the oldest one. She couldn't remember a time without Sybil. All her life she had been the one pushed out in Sybil's shadow while their parents glorified her younger sister.
"She just looks more like us. I swear I have no clue where you get that brown hair and green eyes from. Your father thought I was cheating. I had to have a DNA test to prove you are his. I was hoping that would show you had been swapped at birth."
Just one of many hurtful things her mother had said to her at one point. She didn't know either why she didn't have blonde hair and blue eyes like the rest of them. Apparently that was her only sin. She looked the wrong way. Sybil was their princess, Zoelle was their misfortune.
She kept staring at the screen. Sybil thought she could do whatever she wanted. Even as an adult she kept acting like the bratty kid she grew up as. Mom and dad would always come to her rescue. This time they couldn't. They didn't have the power to bring back a person from the dead. Sybil had been drunk driving and ended in a tree. She died on impact. At least she didn't bring anyone with her in death.
"She shouldn't be dead! The wrong daughter died! I wish it was you!"
The most hurtful words Zoelle had ever heard. She knew her parents were suffering but they had crossed the line with that one. And still she sucked it up like she had always done. Weeks after the funeral they had told her to create a memorial page for Sybil on facebook because she was good with computers. That was the page she was staring at now.
IN REMEMBRANCE OF SYBIL FREESIA
She couldn't connect with the page. She never connected with her sister. Of course it was sad that she had died young at the age of 33, but Zoelle didn't feel heartbroken. She hadn't shed any tears. She didn't share what her parents were feeling.
"What's wrong with me?" She whispered.
Her phone started ringing. She picked it up but it was an unknown number. She hit the green button and put the phone to her ear.
"Zoelle Freesia," she said.
There was a silence at first. She could hear someone breathing.
"Hello?" She asked.
"I remember you," he said.
The voice was dark. She knew she had heard it before but she couldn't put a face to the voice.
"Who's this?" She asked.
"I don't wanna remember her. I wanna remember you. And I do. I remember you," he said.
"Who is this?" She asked again.
"I remember when she made you cut your hair. You rocked that shoulder long hair, and she got so mad because her plan backfired," he said.
She stopped talking. That was true. Back when they were teenagers, Sybil had made her cut her hair, hoping she would become ugly. Or uglier. Sybil always said she was ugly. It had turned out that having shoulder long hair worked so much better for her face. She had never grown it long again. This man on the line clearly knew them back then. Someone from her past.
"I remember how your parents and your sister treated you. That wasn't right. No matter how hard you tried, you were never good enough. I wanna tell you that you are good enough. You were always good enough. You were better than them. They failed you," he said.
"I..." Her voice cracked. "Please, tell me who you are."
"I remember how you made me feel. I was crushing on you so hard. It took a long time to work up the courage to tell you," he said. "And I remember the day we kissed. Just that one sweet kiss behind the school. And then you told me nothing else could happen. Your sister wouldn't allow it. You said she would raise hell to turn me against you somehow, and you didn't want to go through that. You broke my heart, Zoelle."
Her jaw dropped at that memory. She remembered that like it was yesterday.
"Roman?" She asked.
She knew it was him. He matched the voice. She never told anyone about that kiss, and she knew he didn't either. She knew his feelings were true, and she felt the same but she was scared. She knew Sybil would never allow her any kind of happiness, and their parents would back up her sister in whatever crazy plan she would come up with. Zoelle would be hurt. Roman would be hurt. She couldn't let anyone hurt him.
"I remember you, Zoelle," he said. "I'll always remember you."
"Roman," she said. "I know it's you."
"You spent more than 30 years in her shadow already," he said. "Time to step out into the light."
He hung up. She stared at the phone. She couldn't call back since it was an unknown number. There were so many things she wanted to say in that moment. In the end it didn't matter. She knew he was right. She shouldn't waste the rest of her life in the shadow of a dead person. She looked at the screen again and moved the mouse up to delete the page.
"Goodbye, Sybil," she said.
She clicked and the page was gone. She blew out her breath and felt a huge stone drop from her heart. To no surprise her phone started ringing just minutes later. Her mother's name flashes across the screen. She hit the green button and her mother started shouting before she even got to say anything.
"What did you do, Zoelle? What the fuck did you do? Where is Sybil's page?" Her mother yelled.
"It's gone," Zoelle said calmly. "If you want a page, create it yourself. Or pay someone to do it. I'm done."
"You listen here..." Her mother started.
"No, you listen!" Zoelle cut off her mother. "For some fucked up reason I was never good enough for you. I'm done for good. I'm done with both of you. You didn't just lose one daughter. You lost us both. Never contact me again."
She hung up and blocked both of her parents numbers. She felt lighter inside and a little smile crept up on her face. Knowing she had no way of reaching out to Roman, she did the only thing she could do. She found his Instagram and sent him a private message.
"I needed that push. I took down the page and broke contact with my parents. Thank you."
She knew there was a big chance he would never see that message with so many fans probably writing him on a daily basis. Or he might read it and never respond. It was okay. They went to high school together. He didn't owe her anything. The fact that he had found her number and called surprised her, but it meant so much to her. It showed he still had that good heart she remembered him for.