Fiction title: A Little Experiment, a Lot of Happy

Disclaimer::sighs: (insert witty disclaimer saying I don't own Rugrats) which I don't…

AN: this fic was inspired by a mix of Rent, an overly twisted mind, and that one episode where Lil is Jeffery's girlfriend and Phil cross dresses to dump him but ends up not…though keeps appearing as Lil…yea…

Ships: Phil/Jeffery, Tommy/Chuckie, Angelica/ (note to self: look up the name of that male friend who helps her w/ everything)

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Phil stood in front of Lil's mirror. She and the rest of the family were at a ballet recital only for those interested. Phil rolled his eyes at that. He was wearing a pink pair of high heels that Lil had, brown capris, and a green, tight shirt. He felt very pretty. He had started to grow his hair longer about a month before and so it was up in a ponytail and he experimented with some eye shadows, having secretly studied Lil for the last few weeks. He knew who he would ask out; he just had to look different enough from Lil to pull it off: Jeffery.

Phil sighed and stared at the pink carpet of Lil's room. His parents would never in a million years let him do that…and how would he explain this to Tommy and Chuckie, and Lil? After all, he was technically stealing her clothes. He changed back into normal clothes and hopped onto his bike. Arriving at the Halloween store, he bought some black hair dye and would explain it to his parents as an experiment. They should buy it.

Locking himself in the bathroom, Phil took a deep breath and steadied his hands. "Do this…that…and that other thing…" He followed the instructions and waited the 30 minutes. Unstringing the towel, he practically gaped in the mirror, amazed at the difference that came by simply changing his hair. "Amazing!" He studied his face and then realized the eye shadow was still on. He jumped in surprise when he heard the sounds of the garage door opening. He quickly rubbed off the eye shadow, hands shaking. He dried is face and sauntered out of the bathroom nonchalantly. "Hey," He said smoothly to Lil while walking down to the kitchen.

Lil was stunned for a second. "Is…is your hair…black?" She gaped, dropping the bag in her hands. Phil nodded shyly. "Just…trying something new," he managed to say without wavering and shrugged. Lil nodded, still dumbstruck. She walked nimbly to her room and lay on the bed, giving out a sigh.

Phil thought out in his head what will happen the next day. So…tomorrow I'll secretly slip into school, then the girls' bathroom, and change…no one'll see me… But wait…what about attendance…and school… He sighed in defeat and sat at the edge of his bed. His computer screensaver moved to a random picture of Tommy. Phil stared at it for a second, staring dumbly before an idea began to form in his head. "That's it!" Phil exclaimed a little too loudly. He secretly picked up his phone and dialed Tommy's number.

"Hi, Dill? Can I speak to Tommy?...Tommy? Hi…I need some help…"

"What with?" Tommy sounded concerned.

Phil took a deep breath to steady his heart rate and voice. "It's really hard to explain…but…I'm going to school tomorrow, but no one will recognize me…and I'm going as a new student named Pansy Delouse. No one would know but us…"

There was an uneasy silence on the other end and Phil bit his lip.

"Can you explain a little more?"

"…promise you're still my friend after I tell you? You don't have to help me though…"

Another silence, Tommy had to think about this, not a good sign. "Alright, we're still friends."

"See…remember Jeffery?"

"Yeah…what about him? Is Lil using you again?"

"Not quite…see…I kind of…I want to … uh…askhimout!" Phil said the last part really fast and really quietly, another silence, longer than the others. Phil bit his lip harder, it was almost bleeding. His hand shook so violently he couldn't keep the ear piece to his ear. After about three minutes, Tommy spoke again.

"Of course I'll help! Just…what do you need me to do?" This time he sounded confident, and like a true friend.

Phil breathed a sigh of relief and felt a knot of tension in his chest dissolve. It was as if his heart was coming back down from where it had jumped up into his throat, making it easier to breathe and steadied his hand once more. "Well, Phil needs to either somehow attend school, or get out of it inconspicuously so no one has any idea that anything happened."

"Or," Tommy started, sounding like he did when he got a really good idea. "We could ask Jeffery to meet us at the coffee house and say that Pansy goes to a different school!"

"That's great!" They were on a roll now. "And I, as Pansy, will say that I was the one who shot strawberry milk out of her nose, not Lil!"

"…Then we'd have to convince Lil to go along with this too…" Tommy's voice fell.

"Can we discuss this more tomorrow? It's 12…"

Tommy nodded into the phone and said yeah, and then hung up.

Phil replaced the phone on the holder and sighed with relief. That went way better than he thought it would. He fell asleep happy only to later be disturbed by his alarm clock. Realizing he was still in yesterday's clothes, he quickly changed into something new and bolted out the door, feeling overly self conscious. He arrived at Tommy's house two minutes before the bus came, out of breath. He and Tommy shared secret glances and got a seat at the front, whispering quietly. No one seemed interested in the conversation. Which is good…

All through school Phil kept his head down, overly self-conscious. He wasn't as loud as he normally was during class or lunch and he didn't start any food fights. His friends were giving him odd looks, except for Tommy which made the looks even weirder.

"Thank you so much…this means a ton." Phil said to Tommy as he left to go home. He quickly stuffed some clothes in his backpack and biked to the Java Lava. He dashed in and no one saw him and with the help of Tommy, dressed in the same clothes he took from Lil last night. She hopefully wouldn't recognize them since she hadn't worn them in practically six months, and if she did, they could just say it was a strange coincidence. Tommy had persuaded Susie to help, with Phil's permission of course. Susie ran through the bathroom door, out of breath having just come from a recital.

"So…you want to be female?" Susie asked skeptically.

Phil nodded, blushing a little.

Susie smirked. "I can deal. Just let me do your hair and makeup, and afterwards I'll help teach you how to be..." she raised an eyebrow," "...less guy-like and more girly." And so, Susie helped Phil for about an hour when Tommy snuck out of the bathroom and greeted Jeffery. They went to the counter and ordered bubble tea.

"Um…Tommy, are you sure I'm going to like this girl?" Jeffery asked tentatively, twirling the straw in the drink nervously, watching as the small black spheres swirled around inside the drink.

"Absolutely positive! She's practically everything you are! Shooting milk out your nose and all that other stuff!" Tommy sounded overzealous, yet still convincing.

Jeffery nodded, still unsure. "Well... I kind of-" Jeffery was cut off by the creak of the bathroom door opening almost violently. "Ta-da!" Susie announced, flinging out an arm to present Pansy, who looked as if she wouldn't mind just sinking into the floor."

Pansy blushed. She stared at the ground and daintily walked over to Jeffery. "Hi…" She squeaked, nervous. Jeffery eyed her warily and took in her features. "She looks familiar…"

Phil had to fight against the overwhelming urge to giggle nervously. Tommy thought quickly and said, "Yeah, well she looks a lot like Lil, doesn't she? People used to get them messed up all the time when they were younger..." Well, Tommy reasoned he wasn't lying. They all looked to the door as the bell rang and Chuckie walked in, looking very sad.

"Oh…Hello," Chuckie said in his nasally voice, looking around and seeing all the eyes on him. He slumped in the chair next to Tommy, totally oblivious to the unfamiliar looking female.

"What's wrong?" Tommy asked, totally forgetting about Pansy and Jeffery also. Chuckie shrugged and sagged in his chair. After a moment more of silence, Chuckie eyed Pansy. "Who're you?"

"Uh…I'm Pansy," She replied bashfully and sat down. Susie pulled Chuckie up to go order some more bubble tea with her. Tommy followed them and when they were finished, he dragged the two of them to a window table to give Pansy and Jeffery some privacy. Susie started giggling maniacally once they were out of earshot. Chuckie glanced between her and Tommy confused.

"That's Phil!" Tommy whispered to Chuckie, starting to laugh also. Pansy shot them a foul look and continued chatting with Jeffrey until it got to the point where tapioca pearls were being shot out of their nostrils.

"Listen," Jeffrey said as he set his hand on Pansy's once all the tapioca pearls were strewn about the floor. "I really like you, but there's someone else…"

For a minute Pansy couldn't breathe, more from sadness than anything. She forced a smile at him and said, "Oh, sorry for taking up your time then." She excused herself and walked outside, head held high.

Susie and Tommy exchanged worried glances and ran out after her, Chuckie left behind in confusion. He paused as he went over what was going on. Phil... cross dressing... Jeffery... Chuckie choked slightly as all the pieces fell into place. "That's it!" Chuckie exclaimed, as many like to do, out loud. The people in the Coffee House looked at him and he bent over and tiptoed out. "Tommy!" He bellowed, louder than intended. Tommy looked at Chuckie and, beckoned by worry and the fact that Susie was consoling Pansy.

"Yeah, Chuckie?" Tommy was quieter than his best friend and silently left Susie and Pansy.

"Um…well…Phil's being honest, right?" Chuckie asked Tommy, staring at his feet and his shoulders sagged.

"Yea…?"

"Well…I should be too," Chuckie took a deep breath and continued at a very fast pace. "Iloveyoualotandwanttomakeyouthehappiestpersonalive!" Chuckie blurted out, released his breath of air, took another one and held it until Tommy gave his answer. Instead of speaking, Tommy leaned over and brushed Chuckie on the lips. He smiled secretly and turned his attention to Pansy and Susie, who he realized were now snickering.

"So," Tommy spun on his heel to turn his attention to Phil, attempting not to blush. "Did you find out who he does like?"

"No, so I suppose it is possible he likes me…Phil me…" Phil and Susie left to get Phil masculine again. "Y'know…I kind of like drag…" Phil chuckled uneasily.

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Phil woke up the next day by flopping his hand over his alarm and resting it there until it fell off the side table. He didn't feel like doing anything, especially waking up. He grumbled and took a shower, slipping on some random clothes. He ate a bowl of cereal halfheartedly and walked to the bus stop only to find Chuckie and Tommy giggling like two schoolgirls who just got a glance from the 'hot guy' of the school. Yet again, they all got on the bus to go to school.

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"Woohoo!" Tommy yelled at the top of his lungs while ducking some flying mashed potatoes.

"Gaah!" Chuckie ducked behind a table that was on its side after getting a face full of gravy.

"Pies ahoy!" Phil belted while a piece of stale apple pie left his hand, flying right into Jeffery's back. Phil started apologizing relentlessly and got tons of napkins to wipe Jeffery's shirt off with. After a bit of struggle and soft protest, much like Chuckie's, Jeffery was facing Phil, who was blushing madly and trying to conceal it. They stared at each other for a minute as the food tossage continued. "Phil, it's OK," Jeffery said, calm came over the trembling Phil and his eyes drooped as if very tired. "I have something to tell you." Jeffery led Phil to an evacuated table.

"STICKY! IT'S STICKY!" Chuckie squirmed and danced around as a can of soda was sprayed on him by some random person. Tommy pulled him to the side and started licking excess soda off Chuckie. Interestingly enough, Chuckie didn't fight back.

The first thing Susie noticed when she walked into the cafeteria was not the mushy bits of potato flying towards her head, rather Jeffery and Phil sharing a first kiss.