A Journey For Happiness Chapter 2 - Childhood Saudade

It has been a week since I first came to this world. I have had some time to process my new life and to integrate myself with my parents. I can't lie that it is extremely jarring to be put back into the body of a child.

To have no freedom again is a gut punch to my sanity, but I'll survive. At the current moment I'm out in my elegant yet simple back garden, practicing my quirk to tame my new power.

It took no time at all for me to love this little haven. I am simply practicing moving water and focusing it into simplistic shapes above my pond, however I'm struggling to get the water to work with me. I am a long way off the power I first wielded to get myself out from the river however that was a life-or-death situation and for some insane reason I don't want to be placed in too many of those just so I can improve my quirk.

I drop my half-formed and bastardised version of a water star back in the pond and drop down lightly onto the surrounding grass. The bright summer sky is illuminating the crystal-clear water making my reflection seem brighter than it should. I stare into the incredible blue hues of the water which reveals to me blue reflection of my eyes. Royal blue gazes into ocean blue seemingly entranced by the simplistic beauty.

I smile to myself as despite my current deep exhaustion I feel tranquil, just enjoying the moment out in the warm weather in my own little Garden of Eden. This leaves me quite a lot of time to think about my new life and the world that I am inhabiting.

If someone was to look at the contrast between this world and my own, they would immediately point out to quirks and their most obvious effects, ignoring the rest of the changes brought by them. Something as simple as the back garden of my currently middle-class family makes me understand how this world had fallen into stagnation.

After all, why would humanity try to move to the stars when your home is more beautiful than there's could ever hope to be. Quirks have impacted more minor things; I doubt this beauty is natural. The birds are chirping loudly at each other and gliding from one wooden fence to the other. I can see some Mountain bluebirds, American Robins and White Terns alongside many other species that I don't know of.

I'm not even sure if these animals where in Japan before I died. Well, I suppose 200 years and the introduction of superpowers would be quite an understandable reason for bird migration. This world is very beautiful. It seems to be a utopia so actually having the foresight and knowing how flawed it is makes me feel a little bit sick.

I sigh loudly attempting to force my exhaustion to leave me, yet it just makes my grassy bed more comfortable. I will have to do something about this apathetic and tainted society but for now I just want to lay in the sun on the warm grass and stare at the pretty birds.

(B)

I have 2 more years of pre-school to deal with. For lack of better words, I am going to describe it in just one of the many words I have used to describe pre-school to keep myself occupied. Purgatory. You may be thinking that this is a joke but no, I am 100% serious when I say that kindergarten is hell on earth. I would rather be Tenko Shimura than Mizashi Ushinatta right now, that's how bad it is.

"NOW KIDS SING WITH ME, ONE TWO THREE ALL MIGHT LOVES ME". There it is the reason for my sadness, Miss fucking Speaker Mouth. Whoever decided that teachers should be this loud and cheerful when working with kids was a needed requirement will be getting there grave robbed. I have many more petty reasons for disliking my new "Sensei" but the main one is the babying.

There's an incredible disconnect between someone like my new dad and this fucking asshole. I was treated with some level of respect at home, they surprisingly didn't think I was an idiot. Previous Mizashi apparently showed himself worthy of responsibility and had stopped being babied.

To be treated like the child I'm supposed to be is admittedly destroying my pride. It might be a petty reason to be pretending like she doesn't exist for the past week but by God did it give me some serotonin. "AHH MIZASHI, YOU DIDN'T SING WITH US, DO YOU WANT TO TRY NOW?"

I keep my eyes straight ahead, ignoring the women's screams from the left of me making sure to not even blink in surprise. "MIZASHIIIIII", chatterbox shrieks with a small element of confusion making me feel just the tiniest bit guilty about my petty actions. "Yes Sensei?" I respond dejectedly at having to give up the admittedly fun game of pretending my teacher doesn't exist. "Ah Mizashi you're still with us" old sensei responds. "Would you minds sing the One Two Three song".

My eyes widen so much in such a way that was previously unknown to the human world, my heart rate rises to the speed of a racehorse and doesn't stop. Oh god please don't make me sing in front in children. She did make me sing in front of the children. Made me sing every second of it. Slowly, agonizingly slowly. This place is hell.

Water flows over my hand and I feel it, colder than before. The autumn months have just hit Japan, yet it is only a mild cold, more of a chill than anything. I send the water back from my hands into a semi-spear shape flowing in the air and around my garden with impressive accuracy and precision.

However, it is moving slowly, too slowly for my liking. I have spent a whole year in this place and have trained my quirk to a somewhat acceptable degree within this timeframe, but it just is not good enough. So, what I can move it fancily, if I can't launch it at someone all I will do is make their clothes wet.

Oh, you can shoot bullets out of your ears. Well, I'll stop you through the power of a common cold. Checkmate Villain. Oh my god Mizashi relax yourself, right now your 5. Mhmm, I'm sure during the war that is coming up they will care about my age it's not like it's only ten years away or something.

That's right I'm the same age as the rest of class 1A. I wish that I could say I was surprised but I fucking expected it. The worst issue is that I know the type of person I am. No matter how much sense it will make for me to just stay out of it I seem to be a masochist for my future self and will try to make him hate me.

Not only that but I need to make sure I got stronger and take a wild guess what place a simple 40-minute train ride away is, that just so happens to be one of the best hero academy's in the world. That's right U fucking A. Jesus Christ I already hate my decision to go there, and I won't be applying for another decade.

I don't have a quick 10-year time skip to get to the interesting part of the story, and I don't get a quick boost to my power. Either way my actions are futile against the way I had died before. Just a quick bit of nuclear fusion and my life is over the exact same way as before.

"FUCKING HELL SHUT UP!" I roared, hands shooting down in anger and water rushes out of them at incredible speeds partly destroying the rocks and ground around me. The grass has been pulled from its roots and rocks launched away, some even splitting from the pressure. "No way" I mutter a small grin forming on my face before immediately turning into a look of horror. "How am I going to tell Dad about this".

"Oh, Mizashi you look so cool in your uniform, I can't believe my boy is going to primary school". "Relax mom it really isn't that big of a deal" "No it is we are getting a picture, all 3 of us". I chuckle slowly "Ha Ha mom... you don't have to" "We are getting this picture and we are going to be happy in it right Aito".

"Yes of course Ahma dearest I would never in all my lifetimes think of such"- "Yeah we got it its alright mom let's take the photo". I watch barely containing a childish giggle as my dad screws around with the phone, apparently forgetting how to operate it before winking at me.

I am actively laughing now just trying anything to stop mom from noticing me before the picture is taken. Eventually after much fooling around my dad manages to get a photo of all 3 of us smiling at the camera, Genuine smiles and a light in my dad's usually bored eyes.

As they send me off to walk to my first day at my new primary school, I am unaware of their conversation. "You know it is really hard to get a smile from that child" "Oh I know he seems to… be so much more than expected that I sometimes forget that he is just a child". "It's alright Aito me too".

"It hurts to have to pull off a fake play just to get your child to smile for a picture" the young white-haired woman whispers with a softer tone to it. The taller mine smiles in response and embraces his wife. "Don't worry about him love he got it from me". "Everything will be all right for him". Everything will be all right.

It's been a month of primary school and I can happily say two things. One, it is better than the hellhole that was kindergarten. Two, I hadn't made a single friend.

Now you may be thinking that having friends is important however you're forgetting one thing, the people that I'll be befriending are 6 years old. Have you ever tried to have a conversation with a 6-year-old? They are insufferable, with their constant rambling about their incredible quirks which lets them turn their head into a cactus or how THEY are going to be the next best hero.

I really shouldn't be as annoyed about this as I am, however, my temper is so much shorter here. My emotional processing isn't developed despite it being a skill I was previously good at. It confuses me to be honest and makes me feel a bit open, like a book anyone could read and understand if they just took the time to look. Primary school has been manageable though. I've begun improving my Japanese at impressive rates, but I am struggling with the calligraphy side of the language.

Writing down kanji and hiragana has given me many reasons to just stop existing and I am proud to say that I'm still alive. I am lucky to say that I am not in Aldera or is there anyone else I will know is in my school. I don't really want to deal with canon right now it terrifies me. I've never been good at bravery or these heroic traits, yet I am striving for a life where they will define me.

I have obviously considered ways in which I can help however I only see this turning my future into something I couldn't ever guess or my death and I'm not stupid or selfless enough to deal with any of that right now. I briefly considered trying to do anything about the Shimura household however there isn't anything I can do without information which will have to be gained through searching about the Shimura's.

I doubt All for One wouldn't notice someone trying to search about his successor so that is also off the table. Even minor things could destroy such as a conversation with a single hero could cause catastrophic amounts of damage through the butterfly effect despite the unlikeliness of it. I do want to help people, but I suppose in my mind I come first. It makes sense to me, I completely understand my self-preservation, so why does it make me sick.

(B)

Today is my tenth birthday and instead of happily blowing out my candles I'm sitting at the end of my bed doing nothing as usual because I haven't done a single fucking thing yet. Sure, I've trained, and I know now that I'm powerful but if I can't muster up a little bit of courage to make an impact then what is it worth.

Why was I put in this position when I haven't done anything? Better question yet why was I even put here. It wasn't announced to me, I didn't get a choice just death then a new life. "Hey Mizashi, are you ready for your cake" my father announces while looking at the wall.

"Yeah, sure I'll be down Dad just… give me a minute". I cannot deal with this I feel like I'm going to break apart.

I don't want to tell you what happened on my 10th birthday, but I suppose if I'm striving towards happiness, I should be able to speak about my moments of sadness. I was keeping myself together better than I expected however it all changed for such a simple reason. My mother hugged me. I didn't think of her as Ahma I thought of her as my mother.

I suppose I knew I couldn't keep myself together forever.

I had to crack at some point. And with me bawling in my mother's arms while my dad stares on in shock, I at least am happy that despite my outburst, these are the people that saw me break. I wouldn't want it to be anyone else. I- I have grown to care about these people and as my dad joins in and embraces me, I think that this might not be such a bad thing.

A/N

This is just a childhood chapter to provide a bit more familiarity and show some character vulnerability before I dive into the entrance exam in the next chapter. Chapter lengths will be inconsistent and there is a heavy focus on internal dialogue but there will soon be more characters for me to use to play off and affect the plot and canon timelines which is what I'm most looking forward to. Give me criticism please this chapter felt a bit more awkward and I would appreciate some knowledge for ironing out this story.

Goodbye for now,

Potato Author.