Shenron: Here's chapter 3! Review or face the punishment of a worm!

Summery: (I changed it) If you think Kuwabara as an alien, Kurama needing therapy, Hiei being the master of a turkey, and Yusuke wetting his pants is funny then this is the story for you. Read as two insane ghosts torture everyone around them.

Disclaimer: We do not own Yu Yu Hakusho.

Reviews:

MasterCylinderX: Why thank you. We have lots in store. Being bored does this to people.

BlackWolfofFire: You scare me. Like my dog. When I'm thinking evil he gives me this look that makes me fell bad. He's physic.

WanderingFlame: Soharsh!cries

EGGTRAC: Season 1

Happy Farms and Brain Sucking Toilets

-Shenron13 & WanderingFlame

"Welcome to episode 3!" Azara shouted with a drooling Bone in her arms. "Today's vic...I mean guest is Kurama!" Azara looked over expecting him to be tied to a chair only to find him sipping tea with some guy in a suit. "Who gave him tea? And more importantly…Who would drink tea?" Azara asked with her tongue sticking out.

KP looked at the tea in disgust and stated, "Really! That shit is fucking nasty!"

Kurama nearly spit out his tea after hearing KP's cursing

Azara laughed and then an evil glint came into her eyes. "Kurama, will you give Bone a kiss?" She asked sweetly.

Kurama's eyes widened. "W…What!"

"Give Bone a kiss." Azara smiled holding the still drooling Bone centimeters from Kurama's face.

KP covered her mouth to stifle her laughter.

Kurama jumped and moved back slightly. He looked nervous. "N…no. I think I'll pass. Sorry.

KP regained control and gave him a stern look. "How could you be so mean! All the poor thing wanted was a little kisses! But nooo you have to be a rude meanie!"

Bone began to chew on his leash and make hissing sounds.

Azara began to cry. "He be s…so mean. B…bully. KP, make him kiss Bone!" She whined.

KP smirked. "It would be my pleasure."

Kurama's eyes widened and he got ready to run.

"Nu-uh!" KP grabbed him and tied him to the chair. "Now be a good boy and kiss Bone." She took Bone and held him in front of Kurama's face, forcing him to kiss Bone.

Kurama paled and fainted.

KP pouted. "That's no fun!"

Azara giggled an KP noted that her eyes weren't wet. She then turned to the man in the suit and said, "Who the hell are you," Eagerly she continued. "…and can we torture you!" Bone hissed and Azara picked him up. "Well, we're waiting."

The man straightened his tie. "I have come to take you to the happy farm."

KP's eyes went wide. "You mean the place that gives you those jackets that make you hug yourself!"

The man sweat dropped. "Umm…yes?"

"NOOOOOOOO!" KP hide behind a leaf. "You can't seeeee me!"

Azara jumped behind KP and pushed her forward. "Take her! TAKE HER!" She then dashed around.

"You can't outrun me." The man said annoyed.

"I know. All I have to do is outrun KP!" Came the reply.

KP blinked. "Huh? Wait…AZARA! YOU TRAITOR!" KP took off after Azara, yelling curses.

The man watched with a sweat drop.

Kurama groaned as he woke up "disgusting" was all he said.

Azara cackled and ran about the stage. "Of course I'm a traitor!" Bone hissed in a laughing way.

Kurama looked confused. "What's going on?" He asked the man in the suit, who will now be known as 'Mis'.

KP stopped. "We are soo stupid!" She said, smacking her forehead. "Why don't we just kill him?"

Mis gulped and got a nervous look.

Kurama was still confused.

An evil glint came into Azara's eyes. "Of course!" Both girls advanced evilly on the two.

"Now, now. Don't be h…hasty." Mis stuttered seeing Bone lick his chops. Kurama edged the chair back.

A devilish grin came on KP's face. "Time to cause pain." She hissed evilly. A black haze rolled across the stage as her red eye started glowing.

Mis cowered in fear.

Kurama's eyes widened in fear and amazement.

Azara looked on eagerly then slapped her forehead. "Duh! Forgot the chair!" She snapped her fingers and Mis was tied to a chair.

"How did you do that?" Mis asked bewildered.

"Don't know. Don't care." Came her reply.

KP kept that same look and slowly made her way toward Mis and Kurama.

Mis paled greatly and fainted.

KP growled at her misfortune. Her attention turned to Kurama.

Kurama became nervous, temporarily losing his cool. "STAY BACK!" He blushed at this sudden out burst of his.

Azara blinked. "Never thought he would lose his cool." She blinked again. "Cool." Then she disappeared and reappeared next to Kurama. She then laid Bone in his lap.

Kurama looked shock. "W…What are you d…doing?"

"You're cute." Azara said. Kurama blushed. "So I'm gonna have Bone drool on you and make you ugly." Kurama's blush faded. Bone started chewing on his sleeve.

KP snickered as she watched the kitsune try and free himself from Bone. "You're not gonna get him off dude. He's hungry."

Kurama glared at KP. "Shut up!"

KP stuck her tongue out at him and flipped him off. "Bite me."

Azara sweat dropped. "It's kind of hard to bite you since you're a ghost." Then she strode over to Mis, picked him up by the front o his suit, and began to violently shake him yelling, "WAKE UP! I KNOW YOU'RE NOT DEAD BECAUSE I'M DEAD!" She continued to shake him but he didn't wake. Azara turned to KP. "I think he fainted."

KP pouted. "Aw man!" A fog horn appeared in her hand. "Time to wake him." She blew it in his ear.

"AHHH!" Mis jolted awake trembling.

Azara snorted. "What a coward." She looked down and screamed. A fat cockroach was on her black boots.

"What a hypocrite." Mis stated.

Azara screamed again and kicked the cockroach on Mis. She threw her arms around Kurama's neck while yelling, "Save me Lady from the monster from the land of the toilet!"

KP fell over laughing.

Kurama twitched slightly. "Don't tell me you're afraid of a cockroach but not an alien?"

KP was rolling around clutching her stomach while laughing.

"Yes. I am." Azara glared. "LADY!" She added.

"I'm not a lady." Kurama said with little patience.

"Sure you aren't." Azara said disbelieving.

Mis grumbled and pulled the cockroach out of his hair. He threw it of somewhere. "Can we go to the clinic now?"

KP suddenly stopped laughing and sat up. "Whoa Whoa Whoa! What clinic! Who said anything about a clinic! This had better not be a cruel joke!" She looked panicked. "You can't make me go back!" She hid in a box that appeared out of nowhere.

Azara stared at KP. "I didn't know you could do magic." Mis and Kurama sweat dropped.

Mis asked, "How can you not know that? You do magic too."

Azara stared at him. "I can!"

KP peeked her head out of the box. "What's all this about magic? Alright, who let the witches in?" She said still hiding in the box.

Azara looked around evilly. "I don't know who let them in?" She paused and pointed toward Mis and Kurama. "BUT THERE THEY ARE! QUICK! GET THEM BEORE THEY TURN YOU IN TO A FLOWER!"

"WHAT!" They both shouted.

"NOOOOOO NOT THE FLOWER!" KP started to panic. She jumped out of her box and ran toward Kurama and Mis. She pulled off her shoes and started beating them.

"OW! OW! OW! OW!" Kurama and Mis screamed.

Azara laughed and told Bone, who was in her arms, "Look at the Lady and Tea Guy get hurt!" She then whispered to Bone. "Don't tell her they aren't witches."

KP kept beating them with her shoes. "DIE DIE DIE!"

"STOP! WE'RE NOT WITCHES!" Kurama screamed at her.

She stopped and blinked confused. "Y…You're not?"

Azara jogged next to KP and whispered, "That is just what a witch would say."

"How do we know you're not a witch?" Mis yelled

"'Cause I'm dead. Duh." Azara pointed out. She snapped her fingers and both boys were tied to chairs. "How shall we kill them?"

The producer spoke up off stage. "You can't kill them."

"Fine then. Torture." Azara replied.

"You can't kill them either." He said.

"Then WHY DID WE PUT 'TORTURE" IN THE TITLE!" Azara shrieked.

The producer said, "Ummmmmmmmmm……….."

KP blinked. "Ok. You lost me way back when."

Kurama sweat dropped.

Mis stared at her like she was stupid. "You're not very bright are you?

"Sure I am! I just have the memory and attention span of a potato!" KP smiled proudly.

Mis shook his head sadly. "You need help."

KP raised an eyebrow. "And your point would be?"

"That's why I've come." Mis said. "To get you help."

Azara yelled, "She doesn't need help!" She snapped her fingers and a metal pole appeared in her hand. In the blink of an eye she hit KP on the head. "See, she's fixed." Kurama sweat dropped.

KP blinked. Her eyes went teary. "I bit my tongue." She then cried over her poor tongue.

Kurama was currently looking for a way out.

"My poooor tongue!" KP wailed.

"That's it! You're coming with me!" Mis started for KP.

KP stopped crying and a bazooka appeared in her hands. "STAY BACK!"

Mis froze. "No need to get hasty." He whispered then fainted.

"Is he on drugs?" Azara asked. She snapped her fingers and Mis was wearing a baby suit. Bone began chewing on the bunny suit's foot. Azara turned to Kurama, "What should we do about you?

Kurama gulped.

KP lowered the bazooka. "OH OH OH! PICK ME!" She waved her hand in the air.

Kurama looked panicked. "NO! Don't pick her!"

KP continued to wave her hand in the air. "PICK ME!"

"I pick………the toilet!" Azara said pointing to a toilet in the corner.

"The toilet?" Kurama questioned.

"Yeah! The toi…" Azara paused. "NO! NOT THE BRAIN SUCKING TOILET!" She screamed and dove behind KP and Kurama.

KP's eyes widened and she looked around in panic. "BRAIN SUCKING TOILET! WHERE!" She paused and a piece of paper and a pen appeared in her hands. "I WANT IT'S AUTOGRAPH!"

Kurama looked at her like she was crazy, which in fact she was!

"Yes, come get my 'autograph' so I can suck your brains out through a bendy straw." The toilet hissed.

"I…IT TALKS!" Kurama stood shocked.

"RUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" Azara screamed. She threw her arms in the air and ran around the stage.

"RUN AWAAAY!" KP started running around. She was flailing her arms about when she started running toward Kurama.

"CHANGE DIRECTIONS BEFORE YOU CRASH INTO ME!" Kurama tried to move out of the way.

Too Late.

KP ran right into him.

Azara continued to scream and run. The producer shook his head. "I think somebody forgot to tell them they were dead." He turned to the announcer. "I think we better end this before anyone else becomes a ghost. I just might kill myself."

"This episode was brought to you by Fungus Footwear and Brain and Body Works for supplying brain sucking toilets!" The announcer shouted.

Azara and KP were running in the background screaming, "RUN BEFORE YOU BECOME A CHICKEN!" And so Kurama went to therapy for three years and will occasionally scream, "BACK I TELL YOU! BACK!" And poor Mis spent the rest of his life wearing a little white jacket in a little white room.