Shenron13: Welcome again! This time it's Koenma! Yay! The fun!

Disclaimer: This story does not belong to us.

EGGTRAC: Season 1 Episode 4

Flying Monkeys and Vacations

By Shenron13 & WanderingFlame

"Welcome to episode four! Today we will be 'assisting' Koenma with his paperwork!" Azara said. She snapped her fingers and Koenma who was in teenage form and tied up in the corner, began to be slapped by his paperwork.

"OW! OW! OW!" He screamed.

"Stop screaming. It doesn't hurt. Oh, wait. It does. There goes that idea." Azara said.

KP smirked. "Let's sick a killer penguin on a sugar high on him!"

Koenma looked at her like she was crazy. He got hit by his paperwork again. "OW!"

Azara yelled, "Let's shove tofu in his ears!"

Everyone stared at her. "Why?" They chorused.

Azara sniffed. "'Cause I can."

"We should shove fries up his nose!" KP grinned.

Everyone looked at her strangely.

KP blinked. "What?"

Koenma was getting hit by his paperwork still.

"Brilliant idea KP." Azara said as she snapped her fingers. The papers fell to the floor. "Now what should we do with him?"

"I already told you! Imma shove fries up his nose!" KP grinned and some fries appeared in her hand.

Koenma's eyes widened. "Don't you dare!"

"Too late!" KP shoved the fries up his nose.

He screamed in pain.

KP rolled her eyes. "Oh be quiet. It's not like I'm torturing you." She paused. "Wait. I am. Forget that then."

Azara laughed and Koenma huffed. "You know I'm the son of King Enma! I could send you to prison!" He shouted.

"We could just phase through the walls. We're dead. Did the fact not sink in the last three episodes?" Azara questioned.

"Fine! I'll send you to hell." Koenma retorted.

"Duck." Was all Azara said.

"Wha-" A flying duck pegged Koenma in the head.

Azara blinked. "I said 'Duck!'."

KP snickered.

"WHAAAA!" Koenma waited and tried to get the now enraged duck off his face.

This caused KP to laugh, hard.

"Tootles? What are you doing here?" Azara asked confused with her head cocked.

"Quack! I've come to eat the munchkin! Quack!" The duck said. It turned to Koenma. Tootles began to chant, "Pickle. Pickle. Pickle." As it started marching towards Koenma.

Koenma screamed.

KP raised an eyebrow. "Dude. What's with the Chihuahua?"

Koenma looked at her strangely.

Azara lowered her eyes at KP. "You call a turkey a chicken, and a duck a Chihuahua. What do you call a cow? A toad?" She snapped her fingers and a dart gun appeared in her hands. She dropped, rolled, landed on her knees, and shot. A dart hit Koenma sticking to his forehead.

Tootles stopped pulling Koenma's hair and remarked, "Wow! Cool! Quack!"

"And they said TV wasn't educational." Azara stated. "I learned that from the sci-fi channel."

KP laughed. "Ha Ha! You got a dart stuck to your head! Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!" She kept laughing.

Koenma glared at them all and pulled the dart off his head. "I can send you all to prison you know!"

KP stopped laughing and raised an eyebrow. "And I care because?"

Koenma now fashioned an anime vein on his head.

Azara blinked. "If you need to go to the bathroom say so. Sheesh! No need to act constipated."

"I'M NOT CONSTIPATED!" Koenma shouted.

"Of course you're not. Just like Tootles isn't a dog." Azara said.

Koenma looked confused. "He isn't a dog. He's a duck."

"Yes…" Azara paused. "…before he became a dog."

KP blinked totally confused. "Ok you lost me way back when."

Koenma rolled his eyes. "Why am I not surprised?"

KP glared. "Shut up you stupid fucking constipated baby bitch!"

Koenma blinked startled.

"Bad KP! You can't talk to babies like that!" Azara said. Koenma glared. "They're to stupid to understand." An anime vein appeared on Koenma's head.

KP blinked innocently. "I sowwie mister baby."

Koenma glared.

"Let me make it up to you by tying you down with bricks and throwing you in a vat of ogre sweat." KP grinned devilishly.

Koenma gulped.

"Yes! What a horrific idea! Not to mention smelly." Azara said dancing around.

Producer said, "Did you forget you couldn't torture them?"

Azara blinked. "Who wrote the rules?"

The producer looked confused. "The script writer." Azara walked off the stage. "Where are you going?"

"To make the script writer 'disappear'." She replied and disappeared to find the unlucky writer.

KP blinked. "I feel sorry for the writer." She shrugged. "Oh well." She turned back to Koenma.

Koenma gulped.

Markers appeared in her hands. "FACE PAINTING!"

Koenma screamed.

A scream off stage was heard as Azara's voice said, "Stop acting like a baby. Burning alive doesn't hurt." She paused. "Or does it?"

KP shrugged off the screaming and advanced toward Koenma.

Koenma tried to run off but some vines ensnared him. "Let me go!"

"Um…Nope!" KP grinned and started drawing and writing on his face. She wrote 'I love George' on his forehead in red.

"STOP THIS" Koenma struggled.

"Hold still dammit!" KP slapped him.

Azara stomped back on stage with a nasty smile. She read Koenma's forehead then asked, "You love George? That's gross!"

Koenma glared. "No! This…this…this IMBECILE wrote it on my head!"

They both starred at him. Then questioned, "What's an 'imbecile'?" Koenma sweat dropped.

KP blinked. "Well? What is it?"

Koenma sighed. "It's a feeble-minded person or someone deficient in mental ability."

"Huh?" They responded.

"It's a stupid person." Koenma said with his eyebrow twitching.

"Ohhhh." They stated. "Hey!"

"That's not nice!" KP snapped her fingers and George appeared out of nowhere. "Look George! Koenma loves you!"

"It's what you call baby love!" Azara said smirking.

George blinked looking horrified. "I didn't know you were like that Lord Koenma!"

Koenma glared. "I'm not! This idiot doesn't know what she's talking about!"

KP was trying to balance an egg on her nose. She looked at Koenma and the egg fell. "Who you calling an idiot!" She looked down at the egg. "AHHH!" She jumped onto a chair. "Don't let it eat me!"

Koenma fell over anime style.

Azara ran up and stuck her arms out like a police officer keeping people away from a crime scene. "Back up people! It can eat the bones from your skin! But don't panic!"

George blinked. "Don't you mean the skin from you bones?"

Uh…NO! Duh!" Azara rolled her eyes. Koenma sweat dropped then tripped her so she fell onto the squashed egg. "NOOO! I'M MELTING!" She wailed. Then blinked. "A shell." She held up the said object then starred without blinking.

KP was still on the chair. "AHHH! Someone Save Me!" A little green monkey walked onto the stage.

"Hi. I'm a green monkey!" It waved.

Koenma made a run for it. "RUN GEORGE! RUN!"

Azara looked up and saw them running. "Go shell!" She threw the shell which hit George in the back of the head which made him fall.

"Come on George! This is no time to take a nap!" Koenma said looking back.

George rubbed his head. "But that really hurt."

KP jumped off her chair and pointed at George and Koenma. "Attack my flying green monkey! Attack!"

The green monkey sprouted black dragon wings and screeched as it took flight.

KP laughed evilly.

Azara blinked then screamed. She jumped in front of the monkey as a shovel appeared in her hand. Azara started hitting it. "DIE YOU EVIL BALL OF HAIR! DIE!"

KP looked at her in horror. "NOOOO! NOT MY BABY!" KP grabbed the dazed monkey and held him close.

Azara ran up and kicked the fur ball yelling, "Hike!" The monkey flew hitting Koenma in the head knocking both out. Azara blinked. "Maybe I should have said Fort."

"Noooooooo! Cheeze!" KP ran over and picked up Cheeze the monkey. She cuddled the green fur ball. "My poor poooor baby!" She glared at Azara. "You stupid fucking son of a bitch! She started throwing random stuff at Azara.

Koenma was unconscious.

George was standing there in a dazed, confused state.

"Stop! Ahhhh! Run away!" Azara began to run in circles around George with her arms in the air. "Run from the demon socks before they eat your shoes!"

George looked at her strangely.

KP went back to cuddling Cheeze.

Koenma groaned and slowly woke up. "What hit me?"

KP looked at him. "Cheeze!"

"Cheese?" He asked.

Azara hopped up. "Hairy Cheeze!"

Koenma became confused. "Hairy Cheese?"

Azara's eyes widened. "Hairy Cheeze of Doooom."

George was looking at them all strangely.

Koenma still looked confused. "Hairy cheeze of doom? What the hell is going on?"

KP grinned and held up Cheeze so Koenma could see. "Koenma meet Cheeze. Cheeze meet Koenma!"

Cheeze jumped out of KP's arms and onto Koenma's shoulders. He then started eating the young prince's hair.

Azara squinted at him. "I told you it was the hairy Cheeze of Doooom." She whispered. She wrapped herself in an old blanket that appeared so it looked like a cape. "Flee! Flee! Flee like a flea!" She paused. "Hey! That rhymes!"

The producer sighed. "Let's end this before she goes beyond insane." He looked at Azara who had the cape in front of her eyes like a vampire. "Never mind."

The announcer spoke. "Today's episode is brought to you by Beast from Planet X Zoo providing wild creatures and M & Maggots who would love to dine on you!"

In the background Azara was running around with her 'cape' flying behind her. She was making 'whooshing' sounds. The producer sweat dropped. "I need a vacation. A very long vacation."