March 23, 2006

What If

#17 – Tying up Loose Ends

Ironically enough, it was not the Kazaana that caused Miroku's end. Kohaku and his chained sickle saw to that - the monk had been trying to get the brainwashed boy to see to reason without harming him when he had cut him down with one surprise blow.

Of course, it certainly hadn't helped matters that the monk had already been poisoned by the infamous Saimyosho.

There was really no describing the emotions splayed across Sango's face as she surveyed the last seconds of her beloved houshi's life. She'd engaged her younger brother with barely any hesitation, sending him off quickly into the afterlife.

Once she finished, as she had once promised, she followed him shortly after, performing hara kiri.

Naturally, Kagome had been distraught. He vividly remembered all her talk of trying to get Sango and Miroku together. It had seemed so obvious that the two would end up together. He hadn't realized it would be in death.

There was no time to grieve, however; Naraku had steadily gained possession of almost all of the shards of the Shikon no Tama. All the players had assembled on one field, intent to decide the relic's fate once and for all.

The battle had been gruesome. Naraku's minions had all but decimated what remained of Kouga's tribe. The wolf prince alone had been spared due to Ayame taking the attack that had been meant for him.

Inu Yasha and Sesshomaru had never been a more powerful fighting force. Intent on putting an end to the evil youkai once and for all, the two feuding brothers had actually managed to put aside their differences long enough to work together - Tetsusaiga and Toukijin laying waste to all the youkai in their path.

Powerful though they were, their combined efforts were not doing enough damage.

Somehow, Kagura had managed to get the drop on Hakudoushi and Akago. Just before meeting her own end at one of Naraku's tentacles, she managed to cut down the two incarnations with a sharp blade of wind.

Naraku was now mortal. Sadly, that did not even the playing field nearly enough. After all, he still had the nearly compete, tainted Shikon no Tama.

Somehow, Kikyo had convinced the girl from the future to lend her some of her spiritual power. She believed that she could charge an arrow with enough pure (of course, to her Kagome had always been weaker, but at the end it was her power that was pure) energy which to purify the jewel in Naraku's possession. Everyone had all objected to the idea at first – the undead priestess had proven time and again that she was not to be trusted – but in the end Kagome insisted. She trusted her; she actually believed that that woman's plan would work.

Kagome... oh, Kagome, Kagome, Kagome.

The dead miko fell first. Releasing the arrow, her artificial body was not able to withstand the spiritual energy being released. She dropped to the ground, her remaining Shinidamachuu zipping around her frantically.

Perhaps she merely put everything she had into the shot…

Regardless, it was not enough.

Enraged, Naraku had turned his attention away from the two inu-brothers, lunging towards the two women with a vengeance. Kikyo did what she could, but in the end a little shouki was all it took to finish her off - perhaps she had never quite recovered from Naraku's attack on Hakurei-zan… who knew?

But Kagome… Oh gods… he'd never seen her fighting so fiercely. She was still grieving over the deaths of Sango and Miroku, and even Kagura and Kikyou's 'deaths' seemed to be upsetting to her. Nevertheless, the girl from the future would not relent. Her arsenal already spent, she was forming arrows with spiritual energy alone. She blasted through youkai and wild tentacles as if she were a youkai warrior herself. Hell, Naraku had started to get scared!

Soon, the Shikon no Tama was whole and purified. The Evil hanyou was being beaten back. The battle was quickly moving in their favor. Yet, one moment was all it took, just one distraction…

Why? Why did she always have to put the needs of others before her own!

He could still remember the arc her body made as it fell. There was no question as to her condition.

Whoever said youkai are incapable of tears is a liar.

Never had he heard a sound so unnatural, so unholy as the one that came from Inu Yasha as her body hit the ground. Never had he seen his transformation occur so quickly - wasn't Ryuukotsei's death supposed to prevent that? - all the sanity bled from him faster than any of the wounds on his body. Tetsusaiga discarded, he laid waste to the evil hanyou with all the ruthlessness of a deranged animal.

The battle was won… but at what cost?

It wasn't right. Kagome would not have wanted it this way.

Eventually he came back to his senses. Well, perhaps that's stretching it a bit. Had he waited any longer, he was almost certain the hanyou would have turned on him next. No sooner than the red had faded from his eyes he positioned himself on the ground Kagome's body, cradling it in his arms as he whispered her name brokenly.

It wasn't fair...it wasn't fair at all! None of this was supposed to happen. They were supposed to win and live happily together!

"Shippo…" Pale, aqua eyes leveled on him, starting at the look he found. The look on his face would forever be imprinted on his memory.

Pain. Anger. Despair. Regret. Grim resolve.

"Inu Yasha...?"

"I'm sorry." Shippo blinked. "I failed her. I let her die." Something behind his eyes died. "I can never forgive myself for that, but… Kagome… would want you to live. She would want you to be happy." Nodding resolutely at this, he drew out Tetsusaiga once more, studying the fang briefly before plunging it deep into his chest.

There was no use returning to the village after that. There was no one waiting there - Naraku had made sure that their home had been the first thing attacked in efforts to draw them all out.

As he traveled, nothing and everything ran through his head at the same time. He could neither think nor feel anything else. His family was dead. His friends were dead. This time there was no one to avenge him.

Once again, I am alone.

He traveled for years. Wandering from forest to forest - he avoided human villages. he wanted nothing to remind him of what he had lost…nothing to remind him of his failure.

Part of him hated Inu Yasha… the part of him that had believed in his invulnerability. Though he was hanyou, Inu Yasha was strong enough to beat any enemy that crossed his path. He had always protected Kagome before - why, in the one time it mattered, did he fail? Moreover, why was it he who was able to give up so easily on life, at the same begging him to live? Who gave him the right?

Why did it have to be him? Why did was he always the one left behind? If only I hadn't been so small. If only I hadn't been so weak. If only I had found a way to...

"If only, if only, if only! Is that the best you've got to say for yourself!"

So unaccustomed to the contact of others he barely missed the stray bolt of lightening zooming towards him. Using moves he had adopted from Inu Yasha - Oh, gods... why did you do that? Inu Yasha, you coward! - he dove out the attack's path, skidding to a stop in the dirt.

There was a slim figure in the shadows, their posture haughty, and their tone full of disdain. "A kitsune… creeping around alone in the forest like a restless spirit! What, have you no humans to play with?"

He found himself scowling. "Who's there?"

"What? Nothing to say in your defense?"

"Shut up!" he screamed, fangs bared and fists clenched in anger. "You don't know anything! You don't know anything about me or my pain! You know nothing about being alone!"

"Oh no?" The figure approached him. "Look at you… you're a disgrace, practically wasting away before my eyes." Though the figure paused several feet away from him he still could not make out any discerning features. "Could this really be the youkai I chose as my opponent all those years ago? And to think I came all this way to find you."

He paused. Looking up sharply, he watched as the figure stepped out of the shadows revealing a tall, lithe frame, with dark black hair and tanned skin. Due to years of Miroku's less than virtuous influence, his first thought was how - despite the fact that they had just attacked him -attractive this person actually was. However, that thought was quickly shoved aside when he realized the figure donned in the armor and bore the crest of the Raijuu youkai.

"S-Souten?"

Terra-cotta eyes glared back at him. "Get a hold of yourself!" she exclaimed. "You're supposed to be the Great Youkai Shippo!"

He wanted to laugh. Would the Great Youkai Shippo have stood by and watch his friends' slaughter and do nothing? No, there was nothing great about him. He was nothing but a sniveling little orphan.

"I was an orphan, too. So what?" she countered, her eyes beating into him. "Weren't you the one who told me not to dwell on revenge?"

"I'm not worried about revenge," he told her tiredly.

"Then move on! Become the Great Youkai you once were! The Youkai I came all this way to ask to be my-"

He blinked at this. "What…?" She flushed, looking away. "Souten." She shoved something into his hand. Glancing down at it he realized it was a box of crayons… the same one he had given her all those years ago. Opening it upon closer inspection he realized there was only the stub of the brown crayon left.

"Waaiii… you're so cute!"

It was the same color as Kagome's eyes. Although, when looking up at the youkai in front of him, he noticed her eyes held the same determination, the same fierceness.

"I can never forgive myself for that, but… Kagome... would want you to live. She would want you to be happy."

Inu Yasha... you frickin' coward.

But… wasn't he a coward as well? It certainly wasn't as if he could call what he had been doing living. If Kagome could see him, surely she would be disappointed.

Shippo did not want that.

Apparently, neither did Souten.

"Souten." he replied softly, glancing back up at her. "I don't want to be alone anymore."

She gave me a look as if the solution were simple. "Then don't be."

End

Author's Notes – Awww, this one was soo sad, but I liked writing nonetheless. Shippo doesn't really get as much attention as all the other IY characters – the same going for Souten. I saw a SessxSouten fic somewhere… I don't see how such a thing is possible, but I just might have to go read it just out of curiosity.

Anywho, I know there's also the debate on what color Kagome's eyes are. I've always thought of them as slate gray myself, but I can never really tell what color they are in the anime, so for this fic's purposes, they're brown, okay?

Ah well, I hope you guys enjoyed this one nonetheless. Lemme know what you think and I'll see ya next chap! Ja matta!