A/N: I wrote this at my cousin's house, so I did Darcy's and Lalita's argument entirely from memory and the breakfast table conversation as well, so don't kill me if some of it's wrong.

And also, sorry that this chapter was so late in coming. I had written most of it up, then my computer froze and I had to type it all again. On top of that, it's been pretty busy here. So I hope this chapter is worth the wait.

I wonder if anyone actually reads author's notes. If you don't, I might leave a boring surprise for you in them that you won't regret missing.

I don't edit my AN's at all, you know. They probably wouldn't make sense at all if I actually read them.

Oh, and this chapter's pretty long by my standards; I just couldn't work out where to end it, so it goes on.

---------------Four---------------

The next morning, the family all woke up bright and early, for today was the actual wedding. Right now, the family was eating breakfast, talking merrily about the wedding, until…

"Did you see Mrs Lamba's face?" crowed their mother. "Balraj didn't dance with any other girl all night! I knew he wouldn't be able to resist my pretty Jaya's charm." She smiled at the eldest daughter. "Imagine what it would be like to have Jaya living in UK," she said blissfully. "We could visit her there anytime we wanted!"

Their father frowned, finally looking up from his breakfast. "I would hate to have my daughters living so far away."

Their mother waved it aside. "But we have so many!" she argued. "Surely one or two can go live abroad. They'll earn more. God knows, they'll need it, because we can't afford to give them all decent dowries."

Lalita sighed wearily. She knew what was coming next. She had heard this tirade a thousand times.

"I knew we should have moved to US when we had the chance!" said their mother.

"Did I ever tell you," said their father to the girls, "about a man who moved to America and made a lot of money?"

"My brother got all the papers to sponsor us, but no, you wouldn't move, old man!" continued their mother.

"And he built this big American house, with three swimming pools in the garden," continued their father, ignoring their mother.

"And now he owns three Subway franchises in New Jersey, and what do we have?" said their mother furiously. "An old house, an old farm and new bills!" Lalita saw Lakhi mouthing the words along with her mother and fought back a laugh.

"When his father visited him from India, he asked, 'Son, why are there three pools?'" their father told. "The son said, 'Well, one pool is filled with cold water for when I'm hot, and one with hot water for when I'm cold.' The father nodded, then asked, 'Yes, but why the third pool?' The son replied proudly, 'That's for when I don't feel like swimming at all!'"

Everybody laughed except for their mother who gave a sarcastic laugh and sat down in a huff. Then she smiled at Jaya. "Did you see Balraj's sister's sari looked so expensive. I heard it was made by the same designer who made a dress for Princess Diana!" Their mother gave a delighted laugh while Lalita rolled her eyes. "That's who'll be making Jaya's wedding dress!" Jaya smiled and hugged her happily.

Their mother smiled. "Balraj is a gift from the gods," she sighed; but then her face darkened. "His Yankee friend could learn a lot from him. Did you see the way he slighted our Lalita?"

Lalita raised one eyebrow slightly and gave a barely perceptible sigh.

-----

Will and Balraj were standing on the balcony of their hotel room, looking out at the view. The city was, if possible, even more busy than when Will first saw it. There were people hurrying to get to their various destinations on scooters, bicycles and auto-rickshaws. It was rare to see a car, for it was easier to go on the road on a smaller vehicle.

"There's something I don't get," said Will. "If you really want to get married, why don't you hook up with some Indian girl from England or even America? At least you'd have something in common."

Balraj turned to look at him. "Look, I didn't have any problems talking with Jaya, did I? She's intelligent… she's beautiful…" Balraj's face was shining and Will could tell that he really liked Jaya.

"Come on, Bal," he said resignedly. "You said it yourself, man, we're in Hicksville, India."

Balraj smiled slyly and said, "Then why did I see you eyeing up Lalita?"

Will froze for a second, fighting down his blush – had he been that obvious? – and slowly turned around.

"She's beautiful, yeah… but…"

Balraj laughed. "But not your mother's idea of an heiress?"

Will laughed suddenly. "Not exactly, no," he admitted.

-----

Lalita sat, cross-legged on the floor, watching with a smile as the priests poured offerings in the ceremonial fire, chanting verses. Everybody was sitting silently, watching them pour in ghee and rice.

They were sitting with the bride's side on one side of the fire, and the groom's friends and family were sitting on the other side.

Lalita happened to look at the groom's side and saw Will Darcy looking at her. When he realized she had seen him, he gave her a small smile. Her cheerful smile dropped. Still smarting from yesterday, she looked away coldly and pretended she hadn't seen him.

She remained expressionless for the rest of the ceremony.

-----

Lalita and Chandra were watching the festivities from the balcony, where they had a good view of everyone. Lalita had danced with several different guys, and now she was taking a brief break from the action.

"They look sizzling, no?" said Chandra, gesturing towards Jaya and Balraj who were dancing together. "She should seduce him… give him a taste, so he'll come begging back for more!"

Lalita laughed. "And what makes you such an expert, hmm?"

Chandra smiled slyly. "I know enough to know that if that damn cute Darcy was looking at me the way he's looking at you right now, I wouldn't ignore him."

Lalita followed Chandra's eyes, and sure enough, Darcy was looking up at her.

"You're nuts," she said firmly to Chandra. Darcy didn't like her; he had made that clear enough already. And also, an adjective like cute should only be used on kittens, puppies and little children.

Darcy was undeniably good-looking, but he just wasn't her type, and she wasn't his either, judging by the way he had treated her so far.

She looked down at Darcy again, and saw him move to the door that led to the stairs up to the balcony.

"Oh God, is he coming up here?" she muttered, almost to herself.

"Lalita?"

"Mmm?"

"Marry him." Lalita looked at her friend incredulously, then saw her mischievous smile. "Divorce him right away," she continued, still smiling in that way. "Then give me half!"

The two girls burst out laughing, and were still laughing when Darcy came up to them about a second later.

"It's not my tie, is it?" he asked uncertainly, straightening it though it was already immaculate. Then he sneezed suddenly and muttered, "Excuse me."

Chandra said, "Someone's thinking of you. I'm off to get a Coke!" She left, smiling and waggling her eyebrows suggestively at Lalita.

There was a slightly awkward pause as Lalita looked to where Chandra had been with a very obvious 'thanks a lot for leaving me here' look on her face. Then she went back to leaning over the balcony and Darcy joined her.

"What did she say?" he asked, looking a bit baffled.

"It's just an old saying," explained Lalita. "We say that if you sneeze, it means someone's thinking of you."

He nodded, then said, "It's probably my lawyer. Can't get any work done in the hotel I'm in."

"Which hotel's that?" asked Lalita curiously.

"The D.N. International," he replied.

"That's the best hotel in town," she said, wondering what problems he could have encountered there.

"Oh," he said, then continued, "but their computer system keeps crashing, the electricity goes… I guess I don't really know how business functions here."

There was an awkward silence, then Lalita asked, making a brave stab at conversation, "Are you a barrister like Balraj?"

He shook his head. "Oh, no, my family's in the hotel business."

"I'm sure Amritsar's hotels can't compare," she said sarcastically. "But I bet there's a slight price difference. What does it cost to stay in one of your hotels?"

Darcy frowned slightly, as if thinking. "For a room for four… about… five hundred dollars a night."

Lalita gave a half-gasp, half-laugh. "That's more than what most people earn here in a year!"

Darcy shrugged. "Pretty bad when you put it like that; but people who can afford it, they want the best –" he turned and saw the look on her face and said, half-joking (though there was something slightly defensive in his tone as well) –"What, there's nothing wrong with having standards, is there?"

Lalita sniffed. "No," she said, "as long as you don't enforce them on others." She looked away from Darcy to see the dancing couples below.

"This is your first Indian wedding, right?" she asked, a little later, once she had managed to swallow most of her ire.

Darcy seemed to snap back to earth and answered, "Yeah." After a pause, he added tactfully, "It's been an experience."

She frowned slightly. "You're – not enjoying it?"

"No, no, I am; I just find the whole arranged marriage thing a little strange and I don't really know how two people can get married when they don't really know each other." He looked at her and said, letting out a deep breath, "Seems a little backward, don't you think?"

Lalita snorted. "That is such a cliché! It's different now. It's more like a global dating service. The groom looks happy. Did his parents force him into it?"

Darcy looked taken aback by her reply. "No, actually, he asked his parents to find him a bride. He was busy running his company, so he just wanted it to be simple."

Lalita looked at him, and now she knew her cheeks were red from not a little anger. "I see, and so he came here," she snapped. "Is that what you think too? That India's the place for simple women?" She gave a disgusted sigh and walked away from Darcy, down the stairs.

-----

"Lalita, wait! That's not what I meant!" Will hurried down the stairs, trying to keep pace with her.

She had her arms crossed and was frowning. "Americans think they have the answers to everything," she fumed, "including marriage. Pretty arrogant, considering they have the highest divorce rate in the world!" She was walking down the stairs quite fast while she was saying all this.

Ouch. That stung. Pity it was true. By now they had reached the bottom of the stairs. "The groom just wanted his wedding to be traditional!" he said, trying to defend himself.

Will was about to apologize when Balraj came up to him. "Darcy, stop boring her to death and get down here with us!"

He walked back to the dance floor.

"Look, Lalita," said Will a bit awkwardly, hoping to patch things up with her. "I'm a hopeless dancer, but this looks like you screw in a lightbulb with one hand and pet the dog with the other." He let out a deep breath. "Will you teach me?"

Lalita leaned closer to him. "You know what?" she asked in barely more than a whisper.

Will's eyes widened, but then she snapped, "I think you should find someone simple and traditional to teach you to dance like the natives." With that, she stalked away.

-----

A/N: Rejection music plays Nothing I say can make that more dramatic.