Seeing Clearly

Crispin vs. Sera. Dragons are not used to being weak, and they don't like it.

One is not usually aware of being unconscious. All I knew was that, somehow, I teleported from the place of pain and red fire to a place of dim lights and strange, unfamiliar smells. It was a few seconds after I opened my eyes before I even realized that I was no longer under the ceiling with the flickering lights.

I panicked, at first. What had happened?! Where was I? An attempt to sit up resulted in a great deal of pain and a horrible, woozy nausea. I groaned, lying back down. Ah … it hurt …

Someone spoke softly nearby. My eyes snapped open, and I found myself face-to-face with a pair of shimmering, gold eyes. I yelped, jerking away, and then paid for my sudden movement with a great haze of pain. It was some time before I could think coherently again. When my vision cleared somewhat, I focused with a huge effort on the person standing next to me. Golden eyes … deathly white skin … much too handsome … all the signs were there. It was that blasted vamp!

Although …. wait a moment … I blinked quickly, trying to focus. He was blond. There were differences in the face, too. This wasn't that library-vampire, it was a different one.

My sore head reeled. There was another one? Or had I lost my mind completely? Two vampires who didn't consume humans? What was this world coming to?

"Hello," said the new vampire. He spoke softly. It confirmed at once that he really wasn't the library-vampire. He sounded different. "Can you understand me?" he asked.

I squeezed my eyes shut. Yes, I could understand him. But formulating a response … difficult. I felt awful, and I was scared. Golden-eyed or not, there was still a vampire standing right next to me. All my years of training wanted me to lash out, to defend myself. But I was in no shape for it. "I … I can hear you," I finally managed to say. The new vampire was pleased.

"Excellent. What is your name?"

My name? My brain worked. It was like trying to chew through leather with my worthless human teeth. Finally, I managed to say, "Sera."

"Sera," the vampire murmured. "Good. Do you remember your last name?"

I thought about that for a while, slowly frowning. Wait a minute … what did a vampire need my name for? What was I thinking, giving him my name in the first place?! I scowled, and tried to sit up.

"Oh, please don't do that," the vampire sighed, moving to stop me. He hardly needed to. Pain washed in nauseating waves over my head. I gulped and laid back down, drenched in a cold sweat. Oh, Mother of Fire … ! I had to stop moving like that.

A few seconds passed before I could think again. I realized someone was holding onto my arm. I glanced down at the neat white hand with firm, knotty tendons that was holding me still. Then I looked up, my eyes tracing from a delicate scholar's wrist to a perfectly muscled forearm to the face of the vampire to whom the hand belonged. Oh, there was that library-vampire. His messy black hair was getting into his golden eyes, which looked big and concerned. I screwed up my face. "You!"

He grinned, little crow's-feet appearing in the corners of his eyes. "Well, at least you remember me. That's good. Any memory retention is important."

"What are you doing here?" I demanded. I sounded accusing. I wasn't sure what I was accusing him of. I wasn't even certain where here was.

The vampire sighed, shaking his head. "I'm here to figure out how you got out of that accident alive. You shouldn't be talking to me right now. You should be … well …"

Oh. My face fell as I remembered. I could see it in my mind's eye: the headlights, the terrible noise, and the pain. I stared at the wall for a moment, trying to put it all together. I'd been hit by a car.

I'd been hit by a car!

And crushed into a wall! The bricks—I remembered the bricks on the floor all around me. And the lights in the ceiling. I'd gone through the wall. I closed my eyes, groaned, and then felt an awful lurch deep in my gut. Uh oh.

I came to myself a few seconds later, gasping, spluttering, supported by firm white hands, leaning over the edge of my hospital bed. One of the vampires had seized a blue plastic bag from somewhere with the lightning-speed reflexes that only a vampire could wield. That quick response was all that had prevented my last meal from ending up on the floor. Now it was in that sanitary blue bag … and in my nasal passages. I coughed, painfully. Ow … blasted ribs …

I wasn't sure what I'd been expecting from the vampiric pair. But the level of kind, gentle care they gave me was entirely beyond it. They cleaned me up, helping me get the vomit off my face and out of my nose. I discovered that the blond vampire had scooped my hair out of the way just in time, keeping it clean. A wise move, and much appreciated. For the first time in my life, I thought thank goodness for vampire reflexes. Once my face was clean, the blond vampire helped me turn back over, which hurt so much I never would have been able to do it myself. He encouraged me to lie still and not move for a while. I couldn't argue with that. The less I moved, the better I felt.

They disposed of the blue bag and were soon back at my bedside. By this time, a normal mortal doctor had wandered in. I got another shock when he respectfully addressed the blond vampire as "Dr. Cullen."

Doctor? The vampire was a certified caregiver?

The longer I spent here, I realized, the less and less I wanted to put these vampires under the fury of my flame. My sore gut twisted into knots.

The two doctors huddled away on the other side of the room, murmuring to each other. I tried to raise my head to see them, wincing. The library-vampire put his cool fingers delicately on my forehead. "Lie down. You'll hurt yourself." I relaxed my neck only too willingly. Ow …

Since he was sitting right next to me, it was easy to observe the library-vampire. I could watch him from my pillow without moving my head. He was sitting on one of the squeaky-wheeled seats that the doctors so often used. I could tell because he kept moving slightly, squeaking away.

Fidgeting? Why was he fidgeting? Vampires didn't fidget. Humans fidgeted, not the undead.

Then I realized the point. I actually laughed a little, drawing the vampire's golden eyes. What vampire could sit here in a human setting and maintain his facade of humanity without wriggling once in a while? Too much stillness might make the humans subconsciously uneasy. Genius. The library-vampire raised one of his perfect eyebrows. I squinted up at him, thinking. Strange how big a difference a mere change in eye color could make for me. All the vital information lay behind that honey-gold. And a story … I struggled to remember … there had been something about a story …

Why would a vampire that didn't kill humans want to save them instead? I puzzled over the one called "Dr. Cullen." What was a vampire doing here among the sick and injured if he wasn't planning on devouring them? Why not simply ignore humans altogether? Vampires always held themselves far above human beings. They had to, if they were going to mercilessly kill them by the half-dozen a month. Why descend to their level? Become a caregiver?

"What is it?" The library-vampire was asking me a question. I frowned at him.

"Who are you?" The question was startling to me. I was asking to know more about a vampire. I was legitimately interested. This was no pretend act to portray some naïve fool wanting to get cozy with a handsome stranger. This was no attempt to make the vampire at ease, to trick him into thinking of me as easy prey. I was actually … curious.

The library-vampire looked amused. "Who am I? A broad question."

I scowled. "I thought my meaning was obvious. I want to know what your name is."

"I see. My name is Crispin."

"Crispin," I repeated. It felt like there was a stone in my chest. I was actually asking for a vampire's name. Since when had any dragon ever cared what the name of a vampire was? There was no point in knowing. Vampires were always going to be ash within a few minutes of meeting one of my kind. They weren't worth being named, the demons! But this one seemed to deserve his title. I examined him closely, wondering. He sighed, shaking his head.

"Can I ask you something?"

I was instantly suspicious. "You could," I said. "But whether or not I answer depends on a few factors." The vampire smiled a little at my glare.

"On what factors?"

"A few. I'm not telling you." Yikes, I was grumpy.

Crispin sighed. He became serious. "I'll ask anyway. What were you doing wandering all alone through the streets in the dark? That's not a very safe practice, you understand. And it's not about being hit by runaway vehicles; it's about what happens to young women who find themselves alone at night outdoors." I narrowed my eyes at him. He remained dead serious. When I didn't respond after a few seconds, he said, "Sera, what I mean to say is: do you have a place to stay? Why are you all alone? Do you need help?"

The questions sounded genuine. I marveled at them. A vampire was asking me if I was safe? Wanting to help me? Not wanting to lead me away and devour me somewhere out of the public eye.

I quashed my astonishment by telling myself he was being too nosy. In response to his questions, I raised my left arm. A long IV tube was stuck into my vein, and my hand had been done up in bandages. It was probably very bruised and torn up. "I think this qualifies as needing help."

Crispin sighed, and he was bemused once more. "Sera, you know what I mean."

"You're asking about my domestic situation."

"Yes."

I frowned a little. "Why?"

Crispin was quiet for a minute. His golden eyes burned into my soul. It was a little unnerving. After a bit of thought, he said, "When you came upon me in the library, you seemed so … distressed and confused."

"Why would that mean my domestic setting is unsafe?" I challenged, "what if I was just hungry?" Crispin smiled slightly, and he shrugged.

"All alone, wandering around in a tiny city in the middle of nowhere … sometimes people come out here trying to get away. I thought it might be a good idea to ask."

I laced my fingers over my chest, running my tongue over my teeth. My mouth tasted nasty. Crispin's reasoning was sound. Still, I wondered if he was being entirely truthful. If what I remembered of our last encounter was anything to go off of, I had very nearly given away what I knew about his vampirism. I wondered if he suspected that I knew his secret. Well, I certainly wasn't going to ask him about it.

"I'm safe," I told him, firmly. "I'm here on my own errands."

Crispin tilted his head, interested. "Errands?"

Drat. I could have kicked myself. "Sometimes," I said, trying to smooth over my mistake, "a girl just needs to be outdoors."

Crispin still looked a bit worried. His eyes squinted, slightly. We fixed each other with an impromptu staring contest for a bit, each trying to read the other. That quickly ended when Dr. Cullen stepped over to us with the mortal at his side. The blond doctor-vampire stood there, gazing down at me, looking … amused, maybe? I squinted up at him. My vision was a little fuzzy. Was I getting more tired?

"Sera, you are one very lucky young woman," Dr. Cullen told me, gently. I gave a small shake of my head.

"I've always been a lucky one."

The mortal stepped in. "I think 'lucky' is an understatement," he said. He gestured at the other side of the room where he and Dr. Cullen had been talking. I made the mistake of lifting my head to see. Argh … ow … Crispin put his cool fingertips against my forehead again, reminding me to stay down, but not before I noticed the x-rays that had been put against the light. The mortal doctor continued: "You should have been crushed to powder. And that your worst injury is only a concussion …" he shook his head. "You must have guardian angels."

I pursed my lips, not wanting to contradict him. I knew exactly why I'd survived the accident: I must have jumped partially into my true form at the moment of impact. The indestructibility of my dragon form had combined with the healing power of my fireheart to keep me intact. But I wasn't going to tell them that.

Instead, I lifted my left arm to show them my heavily bandaged hand. "If the concussion is the worst of my injuries, then what's this?"

"Bruising and cuts," said the mortal. "The same happened to your left leg. We think something heavy fell on you. Your whole body is covered in bruises. But the concussion was still the worst. The rest is just flesh wounds."

I blinked up at Crispin again. His intense, golden eyes were still locked on me, bright and unnerving. I really should have been terrified to have him watching me. There was a vampire perched over me, and I was small and fragile and injured, and I probably smelled of blood. But all I felt at the moment was vague nervousness. My stomach was in knots again. It was strange, to be so unafraid.

I dragged my eyes away from Crispin and turned to look back up at the mortal doctor. A tiny smile crept onto my lips. Poor thing. He was the only human here, and he didn't even know it. "So …" I thought about exactly what I wanted. My brain was getting slower, sleepier. "How long before I can get out of here?"

Dr. Cullen spoke before the mortal. "I'm afraid it could be a few weeks, Sera," he said, apologetically. "Concussions require a great deal of rest, and if you don't have anywhere to stay …"

But I wasn't worried. My fireheart was a source of great energy and power. As soon as I was alone, I'd tap into it … just a little bit. Not too much, or they'd get suspicious. Just a tiny bit, so my healing could be quick. Then I could get out of here.

But then what? What about my mission? I was supposed to go home to report a dead vampire or two. But there would be no dead vampires, and I wouldn't have any purple ash to take back to the Siege.

Bah, the very thought of the decisions looming before me gave me a headache. I shut my eyes. So tired …

"Sera?" Dr. Cullen was trying to get my attention back. I focused on him.

"Hmm? What?"

"Is there someone we should contact?" He asked. "Can you remember names? Family members? Friends? Parents? Phone numbers, perhaps?"

I fully intended to respond. We had a system in place for exactly this kind of situation. My parents had a phone number and legal names, as I did, despite living deep in the inhospitable heart of the Alps. They could be contacted in the case of an emergency through that number and their own emails. But, as I opened my mouth, ready to reply, I found myself blocked. I tried to recall their names … and nothing happened. I could see their human faces in my mind, and I could not remember their human names. Their complex draconic names sprang to mind instantly, but that was no help. The humans didn't even have the right symbols on their keyboards to type the words out. My heart sank, and I shut my mouth, dismayed.

"Hmm," Dr. Cullen said after an uncomfortable silence. "Are you having trouble remembering?"

I blinked, helplessly. "I … I can't remember their names. I remember them, but I can't … remember." My gut curdled up into a dumpling of fear. My mind. What was wrong with my mind?

Dr. Cullen smiled, trying to be comforting. His gleaming vampire teeth caught the light. It made my breath catch instinctively, even though I knew that there was nothing to be afraid of. "I'm not surprised," the vampire doctor told me. "Memory loss is somewhat common with a concussion. Luckily, you will make a full recovery. You'll have your memory back eventually. We'll be patient, okay?" I scowled, frustrated. The doctor's words were comforting, to be certain. I needed my mind, and I needed it in full. Dr. Cullen chuckled at my expression. "Don't worry, Sera. You'll be back on your feet in no time. For now, you'd better get lots of rest."

I sighed, wincing when I tried to shift my position a little. Ow, there was the pain in my injured left leg. I glared at the ceiling. I wanted my memory back immediately. Why couldn't I have it? What else had I forgotten? I wished I knew. I didn't like not knowing things.

The doctors were leaving. The mortal left quickly, but Dr. Cullen stayed behind for a moment. "Crispin?"

"I'm coming," Crispin said. "Just a second." He fixed me with his gleaming eyes, looking very serious. "Look, Sera. If you need help, please don't be afraid to ask for it."

I sighed. He was still worried about that? "There is nothing wrong with my home situation," I told him, firmly. "I remember that much. I'm here only on an errand. I was just unlucky." Crispin tightened his lips a little. Still didn't believe me! Golly. I rolled my eyes, which was a bad move. Ow … headache … I grimaced. "Look," I told the vampire. "I'm not trying to brush you off, okay? Just … that's not the problem. I'm fine. Well," I grudgingly added, "besides the run-in with a pickup truck. I'm fine."

Crispin raised one of his perfect eyebrows. "Sera, I want to know why you were so upset in the library. You can't claim it was nothing."

I snorted, somehow amused and annoyed at the same time. "How's this, nosy boy? If I'm going to be stuck here for weeks, I'll be bored out of my mind within three days. If you come back here with some good books and some other kind of intellectual stimulation to keep me occupied, I might explain myself."

Crispin's eyes lit up. The honey-gold literally sparkled. It was an impressive thing. "Really?"

"Maybe, GoldenEyes. Maybe. If I like you enough."

Crispin looked startled. Then he seemed to collapse slightly. In an instant, he was … wary. Ah. Maybe the little nickname had been a bad idea. I could have kicked myself again. I tried to gloss it over, raising an eyebrow at him, trying to mimic his previous expression. "Well?"

"Hmm …" Crispin nodded. "Don't worry. I'll be back."

"Good."

His life potentially depended on it.