Review Section
boberry: New semesters have a tendency to make everyone busy.
Whisperedrainbow: Perfection is a word that I don't think has been used to describe my writing, yet. Wow.
Rock0rules: Well, I look forward to writing more.
Andi: I'm sure you checked very often. I know I normally do when there's a fic I'm in love with.
MistyRiver17: Quickly isn't bad at all.
EmmaShalforever: I have a weakness for redheads... That should explain it.
The sick little suicide: You'd be surprised what people do behind closed doors.
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Author's Notes
Not a lot to say about this one, actually. It was good to write.
Disclaimer: I do not own the South Of Nowhere characters. They belong to Tom Lynch.
In The Sun
Chapter 5
By Persephone's Nautical Nun
- Spencer -
Let me explain a few things. My mother is a nurse. She's prescribed medicinal marijuana on a regular basis. I know all about it and its effects, and honestly, I never thought it was as bad as everyone always made it out to be. Sure, I had never done it before, but that doesn't mean that I didn't know what it did, and I have to say that I was pretty prepared for the outcome.
Well, I thought I was, anyway.
But, before I get into that, I want to explain why it didn't bother me when Ashley's roommate and the random girl came barging in on us. That's actually a pretty simple one to answer. My roommate during first semester had been pretty slutty. The whole, 'throwing the door open while making out like mad' thing wasn't a new experience for me. It kind of amused me that Ashley was surprised by my lack of reaction.
You always see people cough in movies and TV the first time they smoke anything, right? So, I was expecting to cough, and make a fool of myself. I was pleasantly surprised when I didn't. I knew enough to hold the smoke in my lungs for a minute before I let it out, and I knew not to take the smoke in my mouth before my lungs, to just inhale. Smoking pot was not like smoking cigarettes. I wasn't going to do it the smoker's way.
I knew all the mechanics, but I wasn't as prepared for the aftereffects as I thought I'd be. By my third hit I found myself becoming fascinated with the orange glow of the weed whenever I'd inhale. I really didn't feel out of it, or anything, just light. My eyes became heavy, and it soon became easier to lay down and look at the ceiling than to stay sitting up, talking with everyone.
"Hey, Ash, your girl's falling asleep," I heard Ashley's roommate, Kelly, say.
"Yeah, what about yours? She's passed out in the middle of the floor," Ashley replied, before I saw her standing over me. I was aware of my upper body being lifted as she settled herself on the couch, lowering my head into her lap. I was sleepy before, but I really felt like I could sleep now. I was so comfortable being there. My sense of touch seemed to have become heightened, because it was hard to focus on anything other than Ashley's fingertips brushing my hair away from my face and her hair tickling my cheeks as she leaned over me, asking me if I was okay.
"Mmhmm," I mumbled, and nodded my head gently. I felt my head slip to the side, and I nestled my face in her hip. She smelled like roses and weed. My head turn caused her hand to delve deeper into my hair, and I had no problems with that.
"Kelly ordered a pizza," Ashley's voice floated into my ear again. "You should eat some. You'll feel better."
The thought of greasy pizza toppings slithering down my throat disgusted me at that moment in time. So much so, that I felt a sharp pain course through my abdomen. It was so strong that I was forced to bring my knees to my chest, doubling over the best I could when I was lying sideways.
I felt Ashley's soft and thin fingers slide under my cheek to lift my face to look at her. I didn't want to move from my position. I was too content. She looked me straight in the eye. "Eat something. I promise, you'll feel better."
"Okay," I said, and pushed myself into a sitting position. Ashley handed me a slice of pizza and pushed my hair behind my ear. I took a tiny bite and was overwhelmed with a feeling of satisfaction. It was strange, just a few minutes ago I was disgusted by the thought of eating, but now it felt so good to be doing it.
"Come on. Let's get you home," Ashley said, after I had finished my pizza and looked like I was able to stand on my own two feet again.
---South-Of-Nowhere---
- Ashley -
I felt guilty. I hated being the person that people do drugs with the first time. There's always that thought of 'what if something goes wrong?' But, that's not the only reason I felt so bad. This was Spencer. This was the girl I was marveling at a few hours ago because she noticed the daffodils and their stupidity.
The thing is, I was terrified of Spencer becoming like me. I was terrified of her falling into this world that I've been trying to get myself out of. I know that I would be out of it, if it weren't for Kelly, but I just can't seem to turn my back on anyone.
It's not like the drugs were hurting me. I was doing my work, going to class, no big deal. It's just that every once in a while, I would look in the mirror and not recognize the person looking back at me. I think that's just because I'm not entirely sure how I got to this point. It wasn't bad enough for me to really consider stopping all of my substance abuse, because I really didn't think it was a problem, but I kind of wanted to slow down, just to prove to myself that I could, if anything.
Spencer seemed to be doing alright after she got some food in her system. Sure, you could tell she was stoned. Hell, even I was. Between the three of us, we had smoked about five bowls. We were blasted. But, Spencer seemed to be handling herself well. She wasn't very talkative, but that's to be expected. We just walked in silence, and I watched her out of the corner of my eye to make sure she was going to be okay.
"The stars are beautiful," I heard her say from behind me. She had stopped a few seconds behind me, and I guess I was too lost in my own thoughts to notice. I looked at her, and then looked towards the sky to find that you could, indeed, see a few of the stars tonight. Still, it's not like they were all that beautiful, or anything. It's LA. Stars don't come out in LA... at least not the ones in the sky. "Come on, Spence," I said, motioning for her to follow me, and we walked the rest of the way through the courtyard, towards her dorm hall.
I leaned against the wall next to the door while Spencer fumbled with her keys, trying to find the right one. When she finally did, she slipped it in the lock and opened the door, telling me goodnight as she walked across the thresh hold. When I saw her start walking up the stairs through the frosted glass wall, I turned and started making my way back across campus to my apartment.
When I got there, Josie was off the floor, presumably in Kelly's bed, but Kelly was sitting on the couch, smoking a joint. She looked up at me and said, "She's cute."
"It's not like that," I said, as I crossed the living room to the kitchen, opening the refrigerator to find something to drink. Beer. That's all we had. Neither of us were twenty-one. How the Hell did we manage to have nothing to drink but beer?
Kelly didn't even acknowledge my movement. She stayed where she was, looking at the wall in front of her. "Oh, please, Ashley. I know you. It IS like that."
I twisted the top of the beer bottle off and took a swig. It was better than nothing. "What, a person can't change?" I asked, leaning against the refrigerator.
Now, she got up. She put out the joint and set the roach carefully next to the ash tray, no doubt saving it for a later date, or another joint down the road. She took the beer from my hands and took her own swallow. "Not you, Ashley. You've been trying to change for four months now, to no avail. Face it. You are who you are, and you can't change that."
This was starting to sound eerily like a conversation I had with my mother when I came out to her. I was not going to stand for Kelly using my own words against me. This was something completely different. "Whatever," I said, pushing past her, heading towards my room. "I'm going to bed."