I Saw the Future In a Dream Last Night (There's Nothing In It)

3 N.I.C., Phezzan

Mittermeyer talked about almost nothing of relevance on the short trip between the temporary capitol building and Kircheis's residence, for which Annerose was quite grateful. He seemed to sense that she had a lot to think about, and so kept his comments to pointing out the few landmarks they passed, and remarking on the various flora of Phezzan. He hadn't been lying when he said it was a short walk, or that Kircheis's residence was nearby. A pretty sum must have been paid to various Phezzanis to get them to give up their nice houses in the city, in order to secure dwellings for Reinhard's top staff. Or, perhaps these houses had emptied out when Reinhard invaded, their owners fleeing, the empty buildings becoming property of the state. It didn't really matter, but Annerose wondered what had become of those people.

"There," Mittermeyer said, pointing. "That's where Kircheis lives. And my house is just down the street."

Kircheis's house was not unusual for Phezzan, but where a stately building of equivalent size on Odin would have been constructed with brick in the city or stone in the countryside, this one was a sheer face of concrete, with windows like sunken eyes. The golden lion flag fluttered above the door.

"Would you like me to accompany you?" Mittermeyer asked.

Annerose realized that her hand had been tight on his arm as they walked, and she relaxed it, deliberately, then dropped her arm to her side. "No, thank you, Fleet Admiral." She gave him a practiced, court smile. "But I appreciate your escort very much."

Mittermeyer's eyes flicked between her and the door to Kircheis's estate. He opened his mouth to say something, and then shook his head, deciding against it. "I'm going to ask Eva to invite you to dinner soon," he said. "If that's not an improper thing for me to do."

"I'd be happy to accept your wife's hospitality," she said. "I've been quite eager to meet Frau Mittermeyer properly."

He grinned. "I'm glad to hear that. It might be presumptuous to say that you'll get along, but I think… Well." There was a moment of silence, Mittermeyer's brow furrowing.

"Is there a reason you say that, Fleet Admiral?" Annerose asked.

Mittermeyer looked away from her, towards Kircheis's house. "Oh, not in particular," he said.

"Fleet Admiral," Annerose said, and laid her hand on his arm again, a gesture intended to ameliorate the confrontational nature of her words, "I'm aware that your wife and I are about to have certain things in common."

He tensed under her touch, and looked at her with wide eyes. It was more alarm than she had seen in his expression before. "You-"

Her smile was thin, but genuine, and meant to calm him. "Did Fleet Admiral von Reuenthal not tell you that I know a great many things?" she asked.

"Reuenthal prefers to say important things in person," he said, voice tight. "And I have not had the chance to speak with him in person in quite some time."

"We all have been scattered to the winds, haven't we?" She was surprised at the melancholy that came out in her own tone. It had been her own choice to remain on Odin, and Reinhard's choice to spread his most capable subordinates- friends, even- across the galaxy. They all had their reasons, but looking back, they felt like poor ones. But still, she couldn't picture herself or her brother making any others. She had been on Phezzan for less than a day, and she already found it unpleasant. Sweat trickled down her collar, and some of her hair was sticking limp to her face.

"Yes," Mittermeyer said. "For what it's worth, I'm glad that you're here. And Kircheis." He paused. "I shouldn't keep you from him and postpone your reunion."

"Thank you," she said. "You really must invite me to see your wife sometime, Fleet Admiral."

"I will." Again, a momentary flash of discomfort in his eyes. She waited, and he said, "I would appreciate you not mentioning the things you have in common with Eva to her, or anyone else."

"Knowing when to speak and when to stay silent is something I learned long ago," she said. "While we were both on Odin, Fleet Admiral von Reuenthal was a great help to me, so I have no desire to cause him, or you, trouble."

"Thank you."

"My brother has relied on you these past few years," Annerose said. "In that way, you have been a great help to me, as well."

He inclined his head in deference. "If I may say so, it's been an honor and a pleasure to serve him in the ways that I can."

She nodded.

"And, Princess-"

"Fleet Admiral?"

"I'm sure I speak for both myself and Reuenthal when I say that, for His Majesty's sake, it will be an equal honor to serve you."

There was a part of her that wanted to flinch back or protest. She had no desire to wield the loyalty of her brother's admiralty like a weapon, but Mittermeyer was offering this as reassurance, and she would be stupid not to accept it in the spirit in which it was given. "Thank you," she said.

He smiled. "Let's not linger at Kircheis's gate."

"I'm sure he's wondering what we're talking about. I believe we will see each other soon, Fleet Admiral."

"I'm sure, Princess."

She nodded, then turned to head up to Kircheis's house. She could feel Mittermeyer's eyes on her back as she went, but she resisted the urge to look back at him as she stood in front of the door and rang the bell.

It only took a moment for a servant to open the door and allow her in.

The interior of the house was sparsely decorated, which didn't really surprise her. Kircheis had only been living here properly for something like a week, so she suspected that the flat glass and steel furniture had come with the building.

She could hear his voice echo through the hall as she was led to his office. His tone was moderated, as it always was, but was it her nerves making him sound louder than usual? She couldn't understand what he was saying- he was speaking in the Alliance language. He must have picked it up in his time on Heinessen.

The servant leading her knocked on his office door. Abruptly, the conversation stopped, and Kircheis said, still in the Alliance language, "Yes?" then, in a more frustrated tone, remembered to return to Imperial, " Ja? Was ist est? "

The servant called, "Your Excellency, Princess Grunewald-"

Immediately, the door flew open. The servant bowed and stepped away.

Kircheis looked older than he had last time she had seen him. There was no trace of youth in his face, no lingering teenage gangliness in his limbs. His posture carried the stiffness of restraint, rather than hesitation. The uniform on his shoulders no longer made him look like a child in costume, but rather a man for whom it was a second skin.

This image startled her, and made her take in an involuntary breath. What had she been expecting to find? The child of her memories and dreams? She had fooled herself; whatever safe fantasy she had thought she was here to see did not exist.

He looked at her with an inscrutable expression in his wide eyes.

Behind him, she could see on a screen the ansible call that he had been conducting, the degraded signal warping the image of the woman he had been speaking to.

There was a brief moment of silence, neither of them sure who should speak first. Kircheis did.

"Lady Annerose," he said. "I'm sorry that you've caught me at a bad moment. Please-" And he gestured for her to enter the office. She did, and stood near the doorway as he turned back towards the screen and his ansible call with the woman from Heinessen, finishing his conversation with his hands held stiffly behind his back and a few snappy lines in the Alliance language before the screen went black, and he relaxed fractionally and turned back to Annerose.

"I'm sorry," he said again.

"No need to apologize," she said. "I should have called to tell you I was coming."

He pointed at a second screen on his desk, which showed a security camera view of the rear of his house, the empty driveway the focus of the image. "I thought I would see you arrive."

"Fleet Admiral Mittermeyer walked me here."

Kircheis turned to the window, looking out over some carefully pruned trees and a rippling, rectangular water fountain outside. "Kind of him."

"I've been in space for almost a month," Annerose said. "It was nice to get some air."

He seemed unsure of what to say. "How have you been?"

"Well," she said. "And you, Sieg?"

Perhaps it was the first name address that made him relax a little. He offered her a smile, but didn't answer the question.

"May I ask who you were speaking to?" she asked.

"Oh." He shook his head, then ran his hand over his chin. "One of the members of the Neue Land administration. She wanted- well, it doesn't matter. I'm not going to go over Oberstein's head."

"No?" she asked. "Was it a reasonable request?"

"I will speak to Oberstein myself about it," he said. "I'm not going to rule Neue Land as a shadow governor from Phezzan. I owe him that much respect, at least." He turned back to the window. "It's complicated."

"All things are."

"Were you liked as the governor there?" she asked. "It is hard to tell from reading the news on Odin."

"Why do you ask?"

"You are being asked to intervene with Fleet Admiral Oberstein on their behalf," she said. "Would that be the case if you were hated?"

"It's because I have Kaiser Reinhard's ear. That's all."

He was clearly uncomfortable with the line of questioning, but she pressed on regardless. Maybe it was a strange thing to talk about in their first meeting after so long apart, but if there was one thing that was likely to have changed him, it was this. How did Kircheis fare when he was not standing at her brother's right hand? "They must know that my brother let you deal with Neue Land as you saw fit."

"Yes," he said. "I'm sure they do."

"And what did they think of you?"

"Lady Annerose, I'm sure you know."

"Don't tell me you were hated there."

"My staff liked me well enough," Kircheis said, a deflection. "But if there had been a chance that killing me would have released Neue Land from Imperial control, there would have been no hesitation."

"Were there attempts?"

"Early on."

She nodded. "But they ended?"

He frowned and looked away. "As long as Neue Land feels it is distinct from the Empire, there will almost certainly continue to be trouble. It's not a matter of just me, or Oberstein, for that matter. It's an issue of their self determination."

She nodded. "It's a difficult position to be in."

"I made as much out of it as I could."

"You can be honest with me, Sieg."

He smiled at her but was silent for a second. The moment dragged on, and he finally said, "I tried to be a fair ruler in Neue Land. Some people recognized that, some people didn't. It doesn't matter how I was seen, since I couldn't have done anything differently."

"I understand."

Without looking at her, he said, "I suppose it was to our mutual benefit that I was in Neue Land, and you were on Odin this whole time." His hands were clasped behind his back. "Compared to Oberstein, I might be viewed as having treated Neue Land rather gently."

"And why would that benefit us?"

"If there's a perception that I'm favorable to Neue Land, as you are to Odin…" He shook his head. "Problems for the future."

"But neither of us are partial to Phezzan."

He was silent for a moment. "You don't like this place either."

"It's a place," she said. "The same as any other. I haven't even been here a day."

She could see his reflection in the glass of the window, though his face was preternaturally still, and she couldn't glean anything from it.

"You didn't want to leave Odin," he pointed out.

"I was of more use there than I could have been here," she said.

He nodded. There was another moment of silence. "I would rather us be on Odin," he said.

"Why?"

He just shook his head. "Things never turn out the way you imagine them."

She was tempted to ask him what he had been imagining, but she didn't. "I'm sure we'll both get used to Phezzan."

"I got used to Neue Land, I suppose. I didn't think that I would. But it's strange to have left it."

"Do you speak the language well?"

"Well enough," he said. "I made an effort to learn quickly." Finally, he turned away from the window. "Deliberate cultivation of the image that I cared. I always addressed them in their own tongue. Oberstein won't."

"Didn't he learn-"

"The contrast is important, in his opinion."

She hesitated, then said, "It doesn't seem to me like you needed to pretend to care."

What was going on behind his eyes? She couldn't tell. His tone was so even. "It's complicated, Lady Annerose."

"And you think I wouldn't understand, Sieg?"

"No." They were standing quite far apart from each other, as though there was some thick wall between them. "I won't ever be anything but the conqueror," he said. "Wanting to see myself as something other than that would be a mistake."

"But you can pretend?"

"Lady Annerose-"

He had cut himself off, but she gave him space to elaborate. He took a moment to collect his thoughts.

"I do care, deeply, about Neue Land," he said finally. "For the people in it. But that didn't stop me from doing the difficult things that needed to be done." He didn't look away from her. "But I pretend in the ways that I must pretend."

She nodded, and the silence between them was strained. "I would like to see Neue Land, someday," she said.

"I'm sure you'll have the chance to." He stepped away from his window, towards his desk. "There are parts of it that are beautiful." He tapped a few keys on his computer, and the screen on his desk changed to show a rendering of some buildings. He nodded at them. "The rebuilding of the capitol," he said. "In Heinessenpolis. That's the proposal that I approved before I left."

Annerose didn't have much of an appreciation for architecture, but she thought the building looked completely unlike any capitol building she had ever seen. The gentle curves of the arched doorways gave it a weirdly religious feel, to her untrained eye. "Who designed it?"

He let out a strange laugh. "Funny you should ask. Nobody alive, anyway."

Annerose's brow furrowed. "What do you mean?"

He looked over her head at the golden lion flag on the wall behind her. "I had someone look through all the proposals from the founding of the Alliance, for what people thought their capitol should look like. There were a lot of them. This was the one I picked."

"Why?"

"Ale Heinessen and Kaiser Reinhard do not have to be seen as so dissimilar," Kircheis said. "He wants to make enough of Heinessen's utopian dream real." Kircheis closed the display of the proposed building with a press of a key. "And it felt less like an imposition of something foreign. But it will probably be a decade before it's done, anyway."

"I like it," she said.

"I'm glad."

There was a moment of silence between them. "I don't think I can imagine a decade from now," Annerose said.

"I can." Kircheis looked down at his hands.

"Reinhard and I always had vivid imaginations, when we were young," Annerose said. "I don't know if it's served either of us well."

"I think it has."

"I half expected you to tell me that he doesn't have dreams, just plans," Annerose said. "That's what he would say."

A single, momentary flash of pain crossed Kircheis's face, but he stuffed it down almost before Annerose could register it. "He's good at making his dreams real," Kircheis said. "That's the only difference."

"I'd rather not imagine things that could come true," Annerose said, but her hand crept towards the makeup compact in her pocket anyway. Kircheis watched the motion.

"You used to."

She looked away. "There used to be things that I wanted to see happen."

"Lady Annerose…" She could hear the pain in his voice. There were things- of course there were- that they both wanted to see. While it was unavoidable to imagine Reinhard well, the kind of thing that the mind seized on out of desperation, it didn't bear discussing. There was nothing that could be done to make that dream real.

"Reinhard's dreams all came true, didn't they?" she asked. "There's nothing more for me to dream about, for his sake."

"And your own?"

"I could ask the same of you." She sighed, then walked over to the window herself. "But we shouldn't be so cruel to each other."

"Kaiser Reinhard still has things he needs from us," Kircheis said. "I can focus on that."

Annerose watched the water bubble in the fountain outside. "Do you remember when we spoke at Baroness Westpfale's house?"

"I think about it often," he said.

"Did we succeed?" she asked. "At saving his soul?"

Kircheis was silent, but he left his desk and came up behind her, his footsteps quiet on the wooden floor. After a long moment, he spoke. "I hope so."

"But you don't know."

"Everything I've done, I've done for him. If I am his hands-"

She nodded. "Have you dirtied yours for him?"

He leaned on the windowsill, his fingers splayed out across the cold grey concrete. "Have I managed to keep the stain off him? I don't know." He let out a rush of breath. "I suppose there's no way to know what he would have done himself if I hadn't been willing to do it for him. Maybe I-"

She stayed silent, wondering if he would continue.

"He'd say, what's done is done, anyway," Kircheis finally said. "I should only think about the next thing I need to do."

"Has he asked something else of you?"

Kircheis turned away. "The Iserlohn business," he said. "You know about that." His voice was tight.

"I didn't realize you were so opposed to finishing the war." Kircheis's mention of Iserlohn was a deflection from what they both had been circling around.

"What does it matter what I'm opposed to?" Kircheis asked. "If he needs me-"

"He needs the whole universe under his thumb," Annerose said, mouth pinching.

"It feels different, now. What he wants," Kircheis said after a second of hesitation.

"What do you mean?"

"He's tying up loose ends for the sake of it. It wasn't like that before. We used to do this all for you."

Annerose frowned, but then tried to relax, tried to be generous to her brother. "I'm sure there's a part of him that thinks he still is."

"Is there?" Kircheis asked. "I don't see it."

"He wants to leave the whole of the universe to us," Annerose said. "He won't admit it. But if he was forced to- he'd rather say that than admit that it's just his pride."

"And do you want the universe?"

Annerose looked away. "Hah."

There was silence again. "I'm sorry," Kircheis finally said.

"You don't have to apologize to me on my brother's behalf, Sieg."

"I'm apologizing on my own."

She shook her head. "Don't."

"I feel like you're the only person I can apologize to, so I have to." He let out a rush of breath. He couldn't apologize to Neue Land, or to the dead, Annerose supposed.

"And for what?"

"He claims he's done everything for you, and you claim you've done everything for him," Kircheis said, avoiding the question. "I don't know if either of you want the gifts the other is giving."

"Want is different from need, Sieg," she said. "You know this." She turned from the window to face him. "And that's not something that's your responsibility to apologize for, anyway. If anything, I asked you to take care of him, and you did. I should be thanking you for that."

"I have tried," he said.

"You've always seen things more clearly than he has. Despite everything, he's still just a boy."

"Lady Annerose-"

"Am I wrong?" she asked. "He'll never have to grow up." For all that she delivered the damning statement calmly, the words burned in her mouth.

He was silent for a second. "What does growing up entail, Lady Annerose?"

She didn't answer the question. "You don't have to apologize to me," she said again. "Not for doing things for him."

"That wasn't what I was apologizing for," Kircheis said.

"You think you've done some harm to me, Sieg?"

He took a moment to collect his thoughts. "Even he wouldn't ask this of you."

"That's not because he doesn't need it,"Annerose said. "That's what I mean about being childish."

"Lady Annerose-"

"Sieg."

"I don't want to hurt you."

"Of all the people in this universe, Sieg, I don't think that you would."

"Wouldn't I? What blood isn't on my hands, at this point? Can I do anything, without..."

"Are you afraid of dirtying me?" She wanted to cry. "Is that what this is about?"

"I don't know," he said. His face, usually so calm, had twisted, his brow furrowed.

"Don't tell me you've come to see me the same way my brother does," Annerose said. "I thought we understood each other better than that."

"I haven't seen you in years, Lady Annerose. It's hard to know how I'm supposed to think of you."

She shook her head. "We're not strangers, Sieg. And it wouldn't be better if we were."

"Then you'll have to tell me what we are," he said.

"We're betrothed to be married," she replied. "Because you are the man my brother trusts the most, and he would do anything for us, and we would do anything for him." She turned her face towards the sun streaming in through the window. "Let's not think about anything other than that."

"Easier said than done, Lady Annerose."

She closed her eyes. "Try, Sieg."

"And how will you think of me?"

"As a trusted friend," she said. "If I can do that." She, neither goddess nor victim; he, neither savior nor captor. Man and wife, though such things didn't feel entirely real even still.

"And Lord Reinhard?" Kircheis asked.

"What of him?"

Kircheis was silent and just shook his head.

"Then you've answered your own question," Annerose said. She could feel how tense he was beside her, but he said nothing.

Kircheis walked away, back towards his desk. Annerose didn't watch him go, but she could hear him open up one of the slick sliding drawers and retrieve something. She turned towards him when he came back over, the light from the window fuzzing out the curls of his hair like a dark halo.

"I know that this question has already been asked and answered," Kircheis said, looking into her eyes. "But I was told I would be remiss if I didn't do things properly."

"Who told you that?"

"Mittermeyer," Kircheis said.

"We'll have to have dinner with him and his wife," Annerose said, her thoughts suddenly almost unable to focus on Kircheis before her. He nodded.

Perhaps her new distraction showed on her face, because he asked, "May I?"

She nodded before really registering the question, and when she realized what she had agreed to, it was too late to take it back, Kircheis sinking to one knee before her, his green cape pooling around his legs. The light floated through the room, and he was the only spot of color against the hard grey concrete. Annerose was outside herself, looking in, not seeing his wide eyes.

"Princess Grunewald- Annerose- will you marry me?"

She had thought about the concept, and thought that she had internalized it, in the long months since it had first been mentioned, and on the journey from Odin to Phezzan, but it had been an intellectual exercise, a getting from point A to point B. She had not wanted to imagine what it would feel like to have Kircheis kneel before her; she had not really processed that would be involved. It had not been real until this moment.

It suddenly was all too real, and felt like this was the last chance that she had to refuse. If she did, they would figure something out. Kircheis would make no fuss; he would let her escape. Reinhard would be relieved, on some level, she was sure. But none of the problems would be solved.

This was no different than anything she had done in the past. Even if that was the problem, she at least knew she was capable of it.

Annerose looked down at him, and her mouth opened and closed several times before she could force out a whisper of assent. "Yes."

His face crinkled in his easy, gentle smile, and he took her hand. She didn't flinch from the touch, but stayed stiff and still as he slid a ring onto her finger. His hand was large and warm. Solid. She could imagine that it was comforting, to someone other than herself.

Kircheis remained kneeling for a moment, then stood, still holding her hand. Annerose looked at the ring. It was a single pink diamond set into the center of a tiny flower wrought in gold. Beautiful. She didn't pull her hand out of Kirches's, but she touched the ring with her other hand, until Kircheis covered that one with his left hand as well.

"Thank you," he said.

She shook her head, and discovered that there was a tear unexpectedly making its way down her cheek. She wanted to wipe it away, but Kircheis had her hands trapped.

He let go of her hand and reached up towards her face, hesitating before he touched her, then swiped the tear away with his thumb, leaving a damp streak on her cheekbone. She couldn't help but let out a little breath, not intending to communicate anything, but her body reacting to the touch involuntarily. No one aside from Maggie had touched her like this, gently. This was something different, and she didn't know what to do aside from stand there and endure it. Experience it. Look into his eyes as though there would be instructions there to make it all clear.

"Are you alright, Lady Annerose?"

"Yes," she said, shaking herself. "Yes, I'm alright."

His hand slipped towards her hair, touching it with a wondering expression. She was confused for a moment, but realized that he must be thinking of Reinhard. Kircheis had never touched her hair before, but certainly he was familiar with her brother's. That thought, more than anything else, pulled her back to herself. She could have laughed at the idea of being unwanted.

Instead, she said, "I used to tell Reinhard that he shouldn't be afraid at night, because his hair would glow in the dark."

Kircheis's hand fell away. "Not in the dark," he said, "but when the light hits it…"

"Are you alright, Sieg?"

"Yes, I am." And he smiled at her again, but it was more tentative.

"Good."

"Lady Annerose," he said.

"Yes?"

He leaned forward towards her, his intention to kiss her clear. She tilted her head so that he could, putting her free hand on his arm for support. There was no reason to push him away. She was calm, now, imagining that Kircheis was thinking of her as someone else. She could be her brother, sometimes, in brief moments.

His cheeks had a ghost of a five o'clock shadow, and his lips were yielding, his mouth tasting like bitter coffee. What would her brother do? She touched his hair as he had touched hers, and he made a muffled noise and tugged her close, his hand heavy on her back, eyes closed.

What was the impulse that seized her, to rest her head against his chest, to feel the thrumming of his heart? It was beating wildly as he carded his fingers through her hair, and she let him do it, until at last his hand strayed and brushed her neck, probably half by accident, and she pulled away. Kircheis opened his eyes, finally, and seemed unsure of what to say.

"I should go," Annerose said.

He opened his mouth to protest, then just nodded.

Hildegarde von Mariendorf had offered to let Annerose stay with her until she got married. It would have been silly for her to find a house of her own, scandalous to move in with Kircheis immediately, and uncomfortable to live in the capitol with Reinhard. So, this was a solution that had been proposed out of Hilde's careful observation and easy generosity. Count Mariendorf was a pleasant man, and Hilde was the member of Reinhard's staff- aside from Kircheis- whom Annerose trusted the most, so it was an arrangement that suited her.

She had been yawning all through dinner, and apologized profusely to the count, who accepted her apology with a friendly smile. "It's not easy to travel," he said. "I can't blame you one bit."

So, she had begged her way off to bed early, settling into the pleasant but unfamiliar guest bedroom easily, only doing the bare minimum to make herself feel at home before laying down. From her luggage, tucked in among her nightgowns, was a small dagger with a mother-of-pearl handle. She slipped it underneath her pillow.

As she lay there in the dark, she idly wondered if Kircheis had gone to see her brother. She presumed that he had, as it was too strange to imagine him alone in his empty house.

She fell asleep thinking about those cold grey hallways, and wandered through them in her dream, alone. It wasn't a nightmare; the place was too unfamiliar to have fear truly attached to it. But her footsteps tapped out on the bare floors, and the walls stretched forever, vanishing into an eerie grey twilight. She was alone there, and walked slowly.

It must have been footsteps in the hallway of the Mariendorf house that woke her. Annerose jolted out of her dream, and her fingers closed around the handle of the dagger beneath her pillow. The footsteps stopped in front of her door, and Annerose got out of bed, walking so delicately that she didn't make a noise, dagger held before her in an iron grip. Only half awake, perhaps it was dream paranoia that still gripped her.

She laid her hand on the door handle just as the footsteps began again, moving away from the door and off down the hallway. Annerose relaxed, then, as quietly as possible, pulled the door open a hair so that she could see who had walked by.

It was Hilde, still dressed in her day suit, heading towards her own room, presumably. What time was it? Nearly three in the morning. No matter how quiet Annerose was, Hilde was more observant, and she turned to see Annerose like a ghost in the doorway.

"Did I wake you?" she asked, voice barely above a whisper. "I'm sorry." She was chagrined. "I didn't mean to stay up so late."

"It's alright," Annerose said. "I sleep lightly. It's not your fault."

"Oh." She smiled. "I should leave you to it, then," Hilde said. But she hesitated.

"What were you doing up?"

"Nothing." She ran a hand through her hair. It stuck out at funny angles, her daytime composure having deteriorated somewhere between dinner and now. "Reading. Thinking."

"May I ask what about?"

She didn't answer right away. "His Majesty, mostly," Hilde finally said. "I'm glad you and Fleet Admiral Kircheis are here."

"I'm glad to be here."

"You know him much better than I do. You're… Are you going to see him tomorrow?"

"Probably," Annerose said. "Unless something comes up for him."

Hilde nodded. "Good."

"Is Fleet Admiral Kircheis with him now?"

Hilde's eyes flicked guiltily away. "Yes."

Annerose just nodded. "I assumed that would be the case."

In a tumble, Hilde said, "I usually had dinner with His Majesty a few times a week. I guess I won't need to do that anymore." The smile on her face was somewhat forced.

Annerose looked at her studyingly. She had been drinking. Was that usual for her? Annerose didn't know. "Do you love my brother?" she asked.

Hilde's eyes flew open. "Princess Grunewald- I would never presume- no." Whatever tone was in her voice was genuine, so Annerose nodded. It wouldn't have mattered if the answer had been yes, but since that wasn't the answer, it was simple enough to see what was bothering Hilde.

"You've been a great help to him," she said. "I don't think that is going to change. He may even rely on you more, soon enough."

Hilde's face fell, and she looked away, clearly not believing her. "Thank you, Lady Annerose."

"Hilde-"

"Yes?"

She hadn't intended to try to console Hilde in this way, but just as Mittermeyer offering his loyalty to her had been a consolation to him, she should give Hilde the same chance. She stepped forward out of the doorway. "My brother will need you more than ever," she reiterated, "and I will need you, too, in the future, if you are willing."

Hilde's face shifted between confusion, surprise, and then a steely resolve. She nodded. "Of course, Princess," she said. It was at this point that Hilde noticed the dagger that was still dangling in Annerose's fingers. Her eyes fixed on it.

"Paranoia," Annerose said, though she didn't move the dagger behind her back. "Nothing more."

"I'll ask for guards to be posted-"

"That's not necessary."

"I want you to feel safe!" And perhaps it was the alcohol that made Hilde's eyes so wide and earnest. But perhaps it wasn't.

Annerose offered her a smile. "I am afraid there's no cure for that," she said. "You should get some sleep."

Author's Note

time for some more extremely fraught heterosexuality. what /has/ been going on magdalena 'not appearing in this story' von westpfale? nothing good probably

again, if you haven't read untouchable and golden you really probably should. the brief conversation about architecture follows directly from a tangent that happens in lighting out for the territories, ch 7 .

kircheis getting a little too sympathetic towards neue land? maybe.

maybe the fact that I think Phezzan is a strange place colors a lot of the way I write it lol

title of this chapter is from black pear tree .

I saw the future in a dream last night
somebody's gonna get hurt
somebody's gonna get hurt
hope it's not me
but i suspect
it's gonna have to be

i guess i'm curious to know how painful you think this all is lmao. i don't have a good sense of these things. anyway next chapter has several fraught things in it so. we'll see. let me know how you feel about this story anyway, I love to hear from you all haha.

thank you very much to Em for the beta read! you can find me on tumblr javert and twitter natsinator, and you can join my discord discord. gg / wnMHeXzcK7 to chat if you'd like :]