If you don't get too close to people you can't disappoint them,

which would be so much worse

than letting them disappoint you.

-Stephanie Burt, Advice from the Lights

He hovers over her, his pale hand sliding down between them agonizingly slow, across the plane of her bare stomach, knuckles catching on the waistband of her panties before slipping in entirely. She bucks her hips pitifully against him seeking more contact, more pressure-just more. She can't look him in the eye, can't stop the breathy panting that escapes her parted lips, but she watches his hand with rapt attention, expectation building, coiling low in her belly. His long fingers dip into her wetness, swirling around, eliciting another desperate whimper. He pulls it back up, forcing her to meet his dark eyes as he holds the glistening digit to his mouth giving it a slow, deliberate lick.

She awoke that morning panting and flushed, trying to suppress the mortification that crept over her. It wasn't her first dream like that, but certainly the first Ryuzaki was the star of. She clamped her legs shut and rolled over in bed, despite her embarrassment hoping to quickly fall back asleep and continue, until her alarm went off not a minute later. No time to rationalize it or even take care of the ache she felt keenly between her thighs.

After a day of photo shoots and meetings, Misa now sat somewhat awkwardly at the enormous dining table in Ryuzaki's penthouse. Like everything else he owned it was oddly ostentatious. It paralleled the floor to ceiling windows which were nearly opaque due to fog. An elaborate gold chandelier hung above it, glinting dully in the muted light. An image of him sitting down at it every evening to dive into a 3 course meal consisting solely of cake and ice cream entered her mind. She'd try to tease him about it if he wasn't in such a foul mood.

To Ryuzaki's displeasure, Light insisted on being put in charge of organizing Misa's meet and greet, leaving her in the delicate position of juggling between the two. Under strict orders to not be alone with him, Ryuzaki insisted on meetings pertaining to the meet and greet take place in his penthouse under his watchful eye.

"It'll be a handshake event." Light explained as he pointed a chart on the table. "Those garner a good turnout especially for you, Misa. It'll be in Ikebukuro, at Sunshine City. Its a popular place to shop so it'll give fans the chance to purchase your latest single as well."

"A handshake event when she has a stalker?" Ryuzaki quipped from the head of the table. He sat behind a laptop sipping on his coffee. His end of the table was laden with colorful sweets and bright bowls of chopped fruits that contrasted wildly with his serious expression.

Light smiled reassuringly. "I have no doubt the extra security your team will provide along our own will be more than enough. And as I said, I will be there personally to watch over her."

"What do these events usually entail?" Ryuzaki asked watching Light carefully.

"A quick hello, a handshake and sometimes they'll leave gifts." Light said. "It's a good opportunity to connect with fans on a more intimate level."

"Which is exactly what her stalker will be thinking."

Misa shot Ryuzaki a reproachful look. Light was being extremely patient with them planning the whole event around her security. She was shocked he even agreed to have the meeting at Ryuzaki's home considering how coldly he treated Light when they met.

Light hesitated. "Speaking of that. I was curious as to how your investigation into the missing models is going?"

"Classified." Ryuzaki replied, now hunched over the laptop, typing again as he spoke. "Conflict of interest. You work there, you understand."

Light considered this. "True. It's just, I'm going to be taking over the company this year. I want to be as transparent and cooperative as possible with your investigation."

Ryuzaki's round eyes surveyed Light suspiciously over the computer. "I'll be interviewing more employees there as soon as Miss Amane's event finishes. I'm sure you and I will no doubt meet then to discuss it."

"I look forward to it. Well, I think that's everything." He turned to Misa, "If you have any questions just give me a call. I'll be there early Friday to help set up and show you where you'll be. I'll of course send that information your way as well." He added respectfully to Ryuzaki.

Ryuzaki grunted, lost in his work again. Though, personally, she doubted he was 100% absorbed.

"Thank you so much for your help with everything. I know it's kind of weird to do it this way."

Light gathered his notes, sticking them into the messenger bag he brought. He gave her a small smile. "I understand your safety is top priority right now. Plus it was...interesting."

She walked him to the elevator, ignoring Ryuzaki's eyes which she could feel follow the two of them.

"Sorry you had to come all the way here to talk about this."

"It's not a problem. Besides, I'll take any excuse to spend a little extra time with you."

She blushed as he pressed the elevator button. He looked over her shoulder and then added quietly. "Maybe after this all settles down we can spend some more time together, alone."

"With how the agency is-" She began.

Light shook his head. "I can change any outdated rules about dating when I take over. In fact, I'll make sure it's the first thing I do." He held the doors of the elevator hesitating a moment. "You're often alone with Ryuzaki aren't you?"

She was slightly taken aback. "Yeah, but he's just helping me, it's not like anything else would ever happen." However, her thoughts strayed back to her dream, where she wished more had happened with the detective. She mentally shoved those thoughts aside to focus.

Light paused giving her one of his dazzling smiles. "I'm glad, because I can get pretty jealous."

She wasn't sure how to respond. While his confidence was charming, she felt conflicted by his attention. There wasn't much she felt she could do about it. She settled for nodding shyly as the doors slid shut.

She sighed heading back to the dining area calling out. "Well, he's gone are you happy?"

"Over the moon." Ryuzaki replied blandly.

She watched as he dipped a lazy finger into the half melted ice cream beside him to lick it off, his eyes not moving from his work. Her thoughts immediately dove right back into the gutter, causing a rush of heat to sweep through her.

I'm giving him too much credit. She thought firmly. He's probably a virgin. He's too weird to have ever- wait, why not just ask him?

"Have you ever had a girlfriend before?" Misa asked innocently, now meandering slowly along side the table.

Without looking up he asked. "How do you define 'girlfriend'?"

She thought for a moment. How else?

"You know, you like a girl, she likes you. You go on dates, buy her flowers, take her home..." She trailed off suggestively, watching him closely.

He rubbed a thumb pensively across his chin. "I've never bought a woman flowers, but yes I suppose by your definition I've had them."

She made a face. Why was she not surprised he'd never bought a girl flowers? Well, that settled it then. He probably wasn't a virgin if he'd had more than one. Still, that didn't justify her brain unconsciously imagining him like that. Especially since he seemed to have so little interest in her.

She hadn't tried flirting with him since they first met up weeks ago, mostly because there would be something tangible behind It now. It would probably mess up her whole routine if she tried it on him again and end up saying something she regretted. Plus, what if it scared him away? He was nice enough, bought her music, agreed to help her for free...What if he viewed her as a younger sister? Uhg! No way! She thought fervently. Anything but that.

"If you're looking for romantic dating advice I'm afraid I won't be of much help."

She snorted. "Yeah I figured as much."

"I was wondering though," Ryuzaki began, looking up at Misa, his face serious. "Are you feeling prepared for this event?"

She looked at him in surprise. "Yeah, of course, why?"

"You haven't interacted with the public since you began receiving the threatening messages. I just wanted to make sure you're mentally able to handle tomorrow."

She smiled, scrunching her nose. "Are you worried you won't be able to keep me safe?"

"No, I'm confident now that he at least won't be one of the visitors it's just..." He paused, his eyes searching the air in front of him. She tilted her head in question, but he shook his head. "It's nothing. You're free to go home, I'll have Watari drive you back."

On the ride home she thought about his strange behavior. His abrupt change in mood made no sense, but then again he often confused her. She knew so little about him. She made a tally in her mind of everything she did know. He's really smart, he catches bad guys, he's loaded, he likes sweets, he's really cute when he licks his fingers-nope that one isn't helpful.

Misa awoke early the morning of her meet and greet, the excitement keeping her from sleeping any longer. Meet and greets were some of her favorite events to do. Despite the stereotypes surrounding the people who went to them, her fans were always sweet to her. Her apartment walls had more than a few fan letters and gifts she'd received over the years lovingly tacked up. She always treasured those interactions. True, she was a little nervous about the idea of her stalker showing up, but if Ryuzaki was confident he could keep him away she'd trust him.

She twisted and turned, admiring her reflection in the dressing room mirror. She arrived at the mall two hours early in order to get ready. She wore a short black pleated dress with long ruched, see-through sleeves that flared out at the wrist. She wore her golden hair loose, with soft waves and dusted silver glitter along her bare collar bone and shoulders so that she sparkled in the light, making her look ethereal.

"Are you decent Misa?"

Ryuzaki called from outside the door. She tottered over in her platform heels to open it with a flourish.

"Don't you get any sleep?" She asked, noticing his tired eyes, the dark bags underneath more pronounced than usual.

"I need less sleep than most people." He replied. As he said it he carried an enormous frozen coffee complete with whipped cream and caramel drizzle. She eyed him doubtfully.

He pointed at the drink. "Don't misunderstand, I get this for the sugar content, not the caffeine."

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah like that's any better."

She waited for him to comment on her outfit, hoping maybe he'd call her beautiful again, but he simply walked past her and set his laptop down on the small table set up in the room. She sighed thinking she'd better savor the one compliment he ever gave her, because It was unlikely to happen again any time soon.

"I should let you know now, there's been a slight change in plans. I have someone else detailing you today."

"Who?" Misa asked. "Not Aizawa?"

"Aizawa's wife unexpectedly went into labor early today." He paused. "We do have another detective on standby for this event, but..."

Misa was puzzled by Ryuzaki's somewhat pained expression as he sighed. "Matsuda."

The man in question entered after a timid knock, a look of reverent awe on his innocent face. Oh, she knew that look.

"Misa-Misa!" He breathed, words now tumbling out of his mouth. "I'm a big fan! I buy every magazine you're in and I got your latest single today! I actually met you at a handshake event you held last year in Akihabara, but I bet you don't remember me do you?"

He looked so hopeful and sad, like a lost puppy dog. She couldn't just crush his dreams.

"Ah, I meet so many people, but hmm lemme see." She slowly circled him, looking him up and down carefully, causing his face to go red. "Now that I get a good look at you, you really do seem familiar!"

"Really?" He said excitedly.

"Yeah! When you came in I could have swore we met before." She said brightly.

Ryuzaki could not have looked any more bored or disbelieving of Misa.

"You should take this assignment seriously, Matsuda."

"Of course!" He said and he turned dramatically to Misa, putting a hand over his heart. "I would take a bullet for you if I needed to."

"Oh, but think of your wife!" She exclaimed.

Matsuda scratched the back of his head, embarrassed. "I'm actually not married like Aizawa, I don't even have a girlfriend."

Misa couldn't resist. She leaned in close and looked up at him through her lashes, her eyes swishing from his chest to his face. "So that means Matsuda is single then?"

Matsuda went tomato red, unable to speak as he nodded vigorously. Ryuzaki rolled his eyes from behind him. "Quit messing with him please."

Ryuzaki pulled up a map of the mall on the laptop he brought. He pointed at one corner where a rectangle representing her meeting table would be.

"You'll greet fans here, there's an exit right next to it behind a curtain. Matsuda will be beside you during the whole event. If you feel unsafe, tell him."

"Where will you be?" She asked frowning. It seemed out of character for him to be too far.

"I'll be nearby. There's no point in both of us being there."

"And what about Light?" She asked skeptically. "I'm surprised you're letting him help after what you said about him."

Ryuzaki sucked on his coffee, speaking with the straw still in his mouth. "Well, what better opportunity to keep watch over him. Plus, I don't exactly have the authority to tell him not to be there. Yet."

"He's really nice you know. He even said he wants to help you investigate!"

"Regardless, I'll be watching. I have to go set up. Matsuda will escort you out soon." Ryuzaki snapped the computer shut, heading out the dressing room. She watched him leave feeling slightly disgruntled. He could have at least told me I looked pretty!

She turned to Matsuda who was staring openly at her, his mouth slightly ajar. She giggled and he turned away quickly. Well, at least I know I can affect normal

men.

The phone from beside her makeup stand began to ring.

"Ah that might be my friend Naomi!" She said over her shoulder, "Could you excuse me for a sec Matsuda?"

Matsuda nodded eagerly, smiling. "I'll be right outside the door, just call me if you need me."

She picked up the phone and answered cheerfully. "Misa-Misa here!"

"Hello Misa."

"Who is this?"

"Your number one fan of course. Do you like the roses I sent?"

The radiant smile slipped from her face and she felt her blood run cold. The voice was unrecognizable, distorted, and deep, like he was speaking through a machine. Her heart beat rapidly, pounding against her rib cage.

"Speechless, Misa?" He chuckled, "I like that I can have that affect on you. You often take my breath away as well."

She felt panic clawing its way up her throat. She looked at the door where outside it, Matsuda stood. If she could get to him and tell him-

But seeming to read her mind the man spoke up. "Don't go trying to get the nice agents attention, Misa. Let's just you and I talk for a moment."

"What do you want." She breathed. She felt her knees go weak as she slid to the floor.

"I just wanted to wish you good luck at your meet and greet today. I can't wait to shake your hand. It's so hard to resist touching you, but I'm happy to pay for the privilege today."

"I have people here watching me." She whispered, her entire body trembled as she spoke. "A lot of people. Ryuzaki will find you before you get near me."

At this, the voice on the other end of the phone cackled, "Ryuzaki? Is that what he told you his name was?" He now spoke in a lower tone, seemingly caressing the last few words, "I'll do you a favor here, Misa and let you know now: he's lying to you."

Through the waves of sickening fear she felt confusion wash over her. "What're you talking about?"

"I worried you'd get the wrong idea about your detective, but If you don't believe me just ask your friend Miss Misora, she'll know all about it."

But Naomi hadn't met Ryuzaki yet, she planned on introducing them after the meet and greet. Her voice sounded faint as she spoke.

"You're lying."

He chuckled again. "Maybe it's best for you to find out the hard way. That way you'll see which one of us actually has your best interests in mind."

"He wouldn't lie to me." She said, her weak voice growing stronger, "He's going to find out and when he does-"

"You know I'm close." He hissed, "Keep this conversation between the two of us unless you want your agent hurt. I can see him now, his name is Matsuda isn't it? Do you want to be responsible for that?"

"Okay I won't!" She said shrilly. "I won't tell him! I wont tell anyone, just don't hurt anybody."

"Then, I'll see you soon Misa-Misa."

The call ended. She gasped in lung-fulls of air as she dropped the phone. Looking at the clock, she had less than five minutes to pull herself together. She scrambled off the floor to the mirror to check her makeup. With trembling hands she quickly reapplied her eyeliner as best she could, wiping the dark smudges from beneath her eyes. She smoothed her hands over her ponytails and hoped her flushed cheeks would be taken as blush, her terror as excitement. It's fine, just push it down. She thought firmly. Just ignore it!

A knock at the door nearly made her jump out of her skin. Matsuda called through it.

"Misa, it's almost time I have to escort you down there soon."

"O-okay one sec!" She called out, trying to disguise the creakiness in her voice. I can do this. I have to do this. She opened the door and Matsuda grinned at her. "Ready?"

For a split second she considered telling him what had happened, but his smiling face made her falter. She didn't know what the stalker was capable of and she couldn't put Matsuda in danger like that.

"I'm ready." She said weakly.

"Are you alright?" He asked looking worried, "Do you want me to tell them you need more time?"

"No!" She said quickly. "No I'm...just nervous. It's been a while since I've done a handshake event."

"I see." Matsuda said smiling again as they walked down the hall. "So even idols get nervous to meet their own fans. That's kind of sweet!" He babbled on, but his words became muffled white noise in her ears. Every unsteady step forward took her closer to where her stalker waited.

As Matsuda held back the curtain for her to enter Misa quickly put on the most convincing smile she could and stepped out into the light.

L watched from the control room as she made it to the table.

"She seems to be doing fine." Watari commented, though his brow was creased. "So far at least."

Like him, Watari worried how Misa would handle the event. L wasn't one for being superstitious, but he had a looming feeling of dread that hung over him like a dark cloud. He spent the last few days checking and rechecking every last detail of her security, but something about the whole event made him antsy. Despite her assurances that she was ready to be in the public eye, he felt restless. He tapped his foot in an anxious rhythm, biting his thumb nail as his eyes darted from screen to screen, keeping a close eye on her movements.

For a while it seemed to go smoothly. Every fan who approached her was behaving. It helped that Ryuzaki had made sure to have everyone who bought tickets scanned before they entered. Most didn't even mind the bag searches. Anything for Misa-Misa.

But something was wrong. He could sense it, he could see it, even through the screen. He scrutinized her face. Her eyes darted around the room in worry. No, not worry: fear. Pure terror seemed to have gripped a hold of her.

"Something isn't right." L said quietly. Watari leaned forward with him to watch the screen. "Call her friend, the one she's been spending time with. She might help calm her down some."

As more fans approached she seemed even jumpier. Her body language apprehensive and stiff. As one fan approached she fell backwards against the wall, shielding herself with her hands. She turned to Light, saying something, grabbing a hold of him and pointing at the man on the other side of the table.

L felt a thrill of foreboding shoot through him and jumped up. "She won't make it to the end of this."

"Misa are you alright?" Light murmured, he reached a hand out to her shoulder. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

She could barely focus on him as she echoed what she told Matsuda earlier. "Yes, I'm just a little nervous."

Groups of fans came and went, some leaving gifts and letters which she did her best to accept graciously. As time went on, however, the more hands she shook the more paranoid she became. Which one was he? Had they already met? Was he watching her now? She felt herself breaking into a cold sweat. Faces blurred into one another.

A man approached appearing to be in his early 20's carrying a large blue backpack. He stammered out a polite greeting and held out a gift for her. She smiled at him until she noticed what was in his hand: a single red rose.

She let out huff of air, terror seizing her as she stumbled backwards against the wall. Matsuda and Light both rushed to her side in concern.

"Misa?"

"Don't let him near me." She gasped, pointing at the man. "He's going to hurt me!"

Matsuda looked back at the fan who looked hurt as he replied timidly, "It's just a flower for Misa-Misa I don't understand what's going-"

"That's what you want me to think!" She screamed, now absolutely inconsolable. She felt suffocated by the amount of people around her, everything was too bright, too loud. She looked up at Light, pleading with him: "Please, get me out of here, he's going to hurt me-"

Misa felt a hand wrap around her wrist and tug her back through the curtain she came out of earlier. She looked up to see Ryuzaki leading her back to the dressing room.

"Ryuzaki!" She pleaded, trying to pull him back. "It's him! He's here- that was him!"

"It wasn't him." He said quietly as he opened the door and directed her to the dressing room couch. She kept trying to pull him back, shaking her head insistently as she stuttered through her words. "It was! He had a rose! He-It was him you need to go stop him!"

Ryuzaki put his hands firmly on her shoulders forcing her to sit down as he knelt before her, his hands flanking the sides of her knees on the couch.

"Misa," He said carefully, "Every person who came today had to buy tickets a week in advance. I made sure to look into the background every single one. It's not him."

Misa still shook her head, her mouth trembling.

"What happened?"

Matsuda had come flying through the door looking worried. Ryuzaki held up a hand to keep him quiet.

"He-he called me." She stuttered. "Before the meet and greet. He called me and said he'd be here, he said he wanted to touch me." She shuddered, her shoulders heaving as she sobbed into her hands.

"Did you know about this?" Ryuzaki asked Matsuda sharply.

Matsuda paled, responding quickly. "No! I swear I had no idea."

They both looked back at Misa.

Her voice quavered. "He said he'd hurt Matsuda if I told anyone."

Ryuzaki bowed his head in frustration as he gripped the sides of the couch with white knuckled fists. "Misa, that is his job. I hired him to protect you."

"He's right." Matsuda said kindly. "I can take care of myself, don't worry about me getting hurt."

"But-but he said-"

"He lied." Ryuzaki said, lifting his head. "He lied, like he always does, to control you."

Light poked his head into the room looking concerned. "They're asking if she's going to come back out is everything alright?"

"She's in no condition to continue. Cancel the rest and refund her fans. Tell them she got sick." He jerked his head at Matsuda. "Go with Light. Help him explain."

As Light shut the door, Ryuzaki held Matsuda back. "Keep a close eye on him." Matsuda nodded and left.

Misa couldn't make sense of it. Did he lie? How did he know Matsuda's name? Where she was? She couldn't keep her jumbled thoughts together.

"Where were you?" She whispered through her tears. "How did you get there so fast?"

"I was watching from the surveillance room. I told you I wouldn't be far."

His tone was brusque. She looked up at him, her bottom lip quivering. Even though he was quiet and hadn't raised his voice, she could tell he was angry with her.

"I need you to be honest with me." He said tersely. "At all times. If he calls you, tell me. If he threatens you, tell me. Otherwise, I can't help you."

Be honest. Be honest. The words echoed strangely in her head. Why was that important? The door opened again, but this time it was Naomi who walked in uncertainly.

"Misa, are you alright? I got a call-"

She halted, her eyes hooked on to Ryuzaki in shock, who looked back at her with a strange sort of resignation on his tired face.

"L?"

Misa looked between the two of them confused. "What did you call him? This is Ryuzaki."

But an internal shift had already begun to take place. She stared at Ryuzaki, suddenly remembering what her stalker told her over the phone, what she had vehemently denied to him and to herself.

He's lying to you.

AN: :)

What a wild week back. I hope you're all staying safe!