Chapter -131: Broken Resolve, Inherited Wills
"When I was young, about close to your age, I would spend a lot of time with my friends. We would do silly things like try to ride on the Wispy Wools, or scare the chickens."
"I would go to the observatory, much like you used to, and find myself drawn to the surface world. But I was never motivated to go down there. I was able to read the general mood of our people and suspected that it wasn't safe to leave."
"My motivation eventually came in the form of a frail looking girl, who I would sporadically notice watching me and my friends play from afar. She always looked like she wanted to join us, but never did. She was too weak to do so."
"I questioned Lostrom about it one day and he told me that he cared for the girl every now and then. She had a lowered immune system that made it easy for her to get sick, especially this high up."
"My heart felt compelled to do something about her condition, but in lieu of Lostrom's limited wisdom, I sought out Twinbeak for guidance."
"They told me that I could help the girl get better if I visited the forest Tribe of Tanglefae."
"You went to Tanglefae first?"
"That's right. But by the time I had questioned Twinbeak about what to do, I was 17 years old. Thus I didn't have to invent a means to sustain flight like you did."
"I was scared, but the thrill of flying closer to the world below filled my rattled heart with joy."
"I arrived at the forest with little trouble and made my way through the woods, seeing things that no other citizen of Arc Hurricanos could've ever dreamed of witnessing. So many colors, so much variety. It was a forest filled with whimsy and wonder, able to captivate even the coldest of hearts."
"I was welcomed by the village, much to my surprise. They looked so different and yet spoke the same words I did, just in a different way."
"I was nervous, warding myself from a potential betrayal. But they were willing to accommodate my curiosity, and guided me through their village."
"Eventually the subject of the ill girl came up and the leader at the time stated that if I wanted the powerful herb, I had to earn their trust. They were worried because they had heard whispers in the forest of an outsider who was turning their plants into toxins."
"I spent weeks living among them, learning how to treat plants with the proper respect and make gardens to sustain a village worth of people."
"My curious mind took hold of the lessons with great intrigue. There was so much more to the world than I had been led to believe and this was merely one other Tribe."
"And eventually my curiosity and patience was rewarded, for the Titan of Tanglefae, Ividae, sent a message to me through the trees, requesting I appear before them in their grove."
"Y-You got to meet Ividae too?"
"I did. And they were beautiful. A gift from above, truly blessing this world."
"Visiting them opened my eyes to a much larger world, my curiosity no longer able to be contained...I had tasted the flavor of discovery, and now I craved more."
"Once I had exhausted most of the sights in Tanglefae I moved on to Aquamoria, where the harsh sunlight bombarded me like I was sitting upon the surface of the sun."
"My winds helped me adapt to the climate as I marched across the sand shore to the fishing villa."
"There, a fine young man who loved to fish taught me how to make a rod of my own and reel in the fish. I learned not only patience, but how to cook and feed myself."
"...And it was there that I first learned the meaning of 'war' and 'violence'."
"Aquamoria was besieged by the forces of Cryofloe, who were attempting to capture the power of their Titan for their own ends."
"I watched as the men and women of Aquamoria took up arms against the men of ice, skewering each other upon spears and lances until the sands were as red as their tongues."
"Aquamoria prevailed, just barely, but now exposed to the blood of the innocent...The blood of a friend no less, I became revulsed, and determined to do something about this...'War'."
"I had a similar idea to you, believing that if I could adapt to every Tribes' culture I would be able to make them cease fighting by showing them the similarities between one another."
"To that end, my next destination was Oreore, where I came to befriend the young Johnathan Gaia, a hearty soul with plenty of love in his tremoring heart."
"While I learned to mine stone and molded my body into a stronger shape, the men of Canofloe attacked the mines, forcing Oreore to retaliate in another bloody display of violence."
"Stricken with grief by the memories of the friend I had lost, I confronted Johnathan's father one-on-one about finding another way that didn't involve violence..."
"The man beat me across the face with his sole arm like I was another stone to be broken, calling me a fool and a coward."
"He then ironed into my brain a lesson I would never forget...About how the world does not accommodate peaceful talks, and that it is a battleground for survival. Either the Tribes take territory from others to bolster their resources, or the Rot consumes them."
"They spoke like violence was a necessity but I refused to believe in their bloody ways. I was naive and full of false hope, and it would prove to be my downfall..."
"I continued to travel across the land for a couple years time, struggling to learn all that I could from the world in hopes that my gained knowledge would help me convince the leaders of each Tribe to a diplomatic ceasefire."
"But the truth about violence is that it's stubborn, clinging to the hearts of man like a fungus."
"And in my desperation to find peace for the world I was killing my peace of mind. I became a man who wandered from place-to-place, clinging to a dim hope, bereft of my original purpose for coming here..."
"I was little more than a source of mockery to the other Tribes, who trampled over me and my dreams, both figuratively and literally, until I was nothing more than a broken shell waiting to be discarded."
"Dragging myself across the land, I finally collapsed upon the ground no tougher than a worm, waiting to be snatched up by my predator...In this case, the Rot Walkers."
"I had discarded all traces of hope and was left with bitterness, the perfect lure for their brainless, ravenous hunger."
"But as they lurked over, ready to feast...That was when I met her."
"She walked this earth a black angel, her body shedding this violent but alluring light. And the moon, now clad in shadows, added mystique to our encounter..."
"I did not care that she was missing parts of her body, or that she was scarred head-to-toe. To a man such as I, she was more beautiful than anything I had ever seen."
"With a sole knife and a fervent dance, she laid waste to the beasts in seconds."
"For just a few moments, she made violence look beautiful."
"She then looked down upon me and called me 'Trash', yet did so with a tone elevated by fondness. She admired this 'Trash' and took me home with her."
"There, I mustered up the courage to ask for her name, as did I give her mine. And as a show of good faith, she even let me see her face."
"And all it did was increase my love for everything about her. For all her scars did not silence her smile. Every day must have been a constant battle with pain for her yet she chose to smile through it all."
"I stayed a few days longer than necessary to rest up, because I wanted to be closer to her...A sentiment she expressed in turn."
"She knew what I felt and knew what I thought without me having to say a word. I should've been scared and yet, how could I? Out of everyone in the world, she best understood my weariness and growing frustration with mankind."
"I became a part of her world and over time, I let her become a part of mine. We talked about our lives and struggles. We debated about peace and war."
"She even had no qualms admitting to me that she was a 'monster', as deigned not just by the world, but her own people as well."
"I did not care."
"Even if she could be tough, violent and cynical at times, I had seen her ability for compassion and empathy when she saved my life."
"It rekindled what I once thought to be a dying hope. If someone like her could be kind, then was it truly impossible to reach out to the other Tribes...?"
"I left my thoughts open to her and she disagreed, seeing mankind as a collective whole."
"But this time of respite allowed me to see my journey in a different light. I cut away the negative and reinforced the positives, reminding myself that there was good in people. It was just war that was the problem."
"She found my ideals amusing, in an endearing way. That even after being exposed to so much of mankind's darkness, I would find light to keep pressing forward."
"And I wanted to introduce her to that light. For the first time in months I ventured out of Obscura with her at my side, where we observed the Tribes from a distance. I believed that by exposing her to the good of mankind in person, it would help change her mind...Little did I know at the time, I had been enforcing her beliefs."
"Our love grew more and more intimate, until eventually our bodies were able to become one, and our mind and soul were forever linked..."
"I was content with this life. Despite what people claim, I believed darkness was not to be feared...And it's not. What should be feared are the people who wield it..."
"One night I awoke to find Ophelia no longer at my side. She had left Obscura and dread began to fill my heart as I followed her presence to the east."
"And the dread only grew more and more as the moon turned violet once again. And then, with one blink of an eye, my mind was scarred forever..."
"She stood there, unflinching, as corpses drowned in a sea of blood around her. Some split in half. Others with their skulls crushed."
"And she smiled about it."
"She walked towards me, the man she loved, now retreating in fear..."
"I demanded to know what she had done and she answered without hesitation. She had taken hundreds of lives in a minute, all of them soldiers from Cryofloe, Canoefloe and Oreore about to engage in a violent scuffle."
"She began speaking in a monotone voice, describing her life as one devoid of 'purpose' until she had met me..."
"Our time together helped enforce in her mind that there was no hope of peace among the Tribes and that they would continue to kill each other unless retribution taught them the error of their ways..."
"And that's what she was...The 'necessary retribution' that would pave the way for peace."
"I was angered at her, believing she had lost her mind."
"But her calm never broke to prove me right. She continued to spout rhetoric about her ideals...And the frightening part was that I was beginning to believe her."
"For she described mankind as a beast devoid of fear. They were so used to killing one another that death had lost all meaning. So she reintroduced the concept...Now, they will never be able to fight without the paranoia of her intervention looming over their heads."
"And she did all of this, because of me, and our love..."
"She was not allowed to take one step forward before my body fought back, attacking her with a blast of compressed wind."
"And for the first time since we had known each other...She stared at me in confusion. She wondered why I was angry, when she was about to bring forth 'peace' among the Tribes."
"I could never accept her peace or her love. She truly was a monster down to the horrid, bitter core...And to think I gave her everything I had."
"She was the devil, twisting my wishes, defying my will, and I had accepted her faustian bargain without realizing it."
"And she boasted over the ownership of my heart and soul, telling me that I had nowhere left to go...But into her blood-drenched embrace."
"...In an act that could neither be described as brave nor wise...I flew away, all the way back to Arc Hurricanos."
"I abandoned the world below, never wishing to see it, or it's people ever again..."
"And eventually...I settled down, not just as a husband, but as a father."
At this point Darnia sounded winded, like he had aged many more years in an instant. But nevertheless he looked towards his son with his tired gaze and punctuated his story with one final point, "Lately I look at you and see so much of my old self inside of you, and it scares me. And that after all I tried to do to give you a comfortable life here, you still yearned for the surface all the same..."
"So please," Darnia waved his hand out, "Do you understand now why I never wished for you to go to the surface?"
"Yeah..." Sarajin raised his head and with a slight glare said to him with disappointment, "I-It's because you gave up."
Darnia uttered "What?" and then endured his son venting his feelings at him, "H-How could you just abandon the world, dad?!"
"Because it didn't want to be saved!" Darnia shouted back, standing up from his chair, his looming presence bringing Sarajin to silence, "Ophelia is proof that this world will never be hospitable to peace and unity! It has grown too accustomed to violence, and she was born to perpetuate it more!"
Sarajin then stood up and shouted back, "Because you let her get away with it!"
"What was I expected to do?! She is beyond reason!" Darnia then grit his teeth with a fearsome grunt and grumbled at him, "I know her better than any damn soul on the planet...She. IS. A monster."
Sarajin squeezed his eyes shut and then shook his head, lunging it out to shout defiantly, "There has to be some way to convince her! You didn't try hard enough!"
"You only believe there's good in her because that's what she deceived you into seeing," Darnia said mournfully, "She preys on idealists like you and I because it amuses her. Every other person in the world is her plaything to either be killed or left running in fear."
"T-Then...you really don't love her anymore, right?" Sarajin looked straight into his father's eyes.
"..." Darnia's expression sagged, a tenderness forming within his eyes that leaked out as a sole tear...
Sarajin was left gritting his teeth and muttering, "You don't love her anymore, r-right dad?"
"...Love is...complex, and you're not old enough to understand why, my son." He turned his head away in silence, a silence that lasted only a moment before Sarajin was chewing him out again.
"Stop treating me like a child!" He shouted.
"Then stop acting like one!" Darnia thrust his head back with eyes flared in rage, "You are fifteen years old yet view the world through a sugar coated lens! The truth does not match your point of view and it never WILL!"
"So what?! I should become like you...? A tired, withered old man who has given up on everything?!"
"I...I...!" Darnia retreated for a brief moment, giving Sarajin full reign to keep digging his anger in deeper.
"W-What did mom ever see in you...?" He said tearfully.
Darnia's eyes flared open and began to water. It would have been easy to snap and let rage win out against reason.
But he restrained himself just enough to focus on his son and say to him, gasping tiredly all the while, "How DARE you speak ill of your mother like that...!"
"I do not care how much you cry and scream about it, Sarajin, I will never, EVER allow you to return to the surface again. You will remain up here and live a decent, safe life until you grow old and DIE. Forget about the Tribes. Forget about Ophelia. And forget your dreams...They will only bring you ruin."
Sarajin was crying and gritting his teeth. With a blunt outcry of "I HATE you, dad!" he ran straight towards his room, where Darnia could hear him slamming down onto his bed...
Darnia's eyes continued to tremble, with him squeezing them shut as he swung his fist out to punch the nearest wall. He then laid a hand against his face and continued to sob for an untold amount of time...
That night was Sarajin's longest one ever...A sleepless passage of time where he stuffed his head under his pillow and was tormented by the echoes of Ophelia and his father.
When the next morning came around he had a mini-heart attack at the sound of Moses saying hello at the window and tossed his pillow, knocking him off.
His eyes were red and he was panting rapidly for air. Eventually he calmed down and put his hand on his chest, glimpsing at the creak of sunlight outside his window.
He slowly pulled himself off his bed and picked his pillow up, plopping back down to rest with it cuddled up against his chest.
He then bundled his legs up and laid on his side. Even grief and anger couldn't stop him from picking up that his mom wasn't calling him down for breakfast...
It was eerily quiet in the house in general, with only a few bird chirps outside to compensate for it.
He got back up and left his pillow behind, making his way over to his parents' room. He slowly drew the cloth door back, his heart thumping at the worry of what he'd find inside...
For the first time in what felt like an eternity he could express relief because his mom was sitting up in the bed with a pair of knitting needles and yarn at her lap.
She saw him poking his head through the door frame and gestured her hand lightly, "Come on in, honey."
She had her sunny smile even if it was a little weaker than usual. Feeling at ease, Sarajin walked in and stood at the bedside.
"Where's...dad?" He asked hesitantly.
"He went out, didn't say when he would be back though," She then tried to push herself up only to start coughing and force herself back down. With a playful attitude she said, "S-Sorry dear, you'll have to wait for him to get back before you can have breakfast."
"..." Sarajin looked away as his mom looked at him.
With the precision of a mother, she cut right to the point, "So, he finally told you everything..."
Sarajin grabbed his arm and looked flushed of color. He was trembling all over, not wanting to speak...But he had to say it. Her warm eyes compelled him...
"M-Mom?" He glanced over his shoulder and muttered, "H-How long did you know about...what dad had done?"
"Before you were born." She said with a proud smile.
"Even...that he still loves Ophelia?"
"..." She closed her eyes and laid her needles down, patting the bed next to her legs, "Come up here for a moment, Sarajin."
Sarajin got up on the bed and saw she was still smiling. She slowly peeled her eyes open and remarked, "Your father didn't tell you everything...did he?"
"W-What do you mean?"
"Did he ever bring up the name of the ill little girl that first motivated him to go to the surface?" She said with a cute little laugh at the end.
Sarajin shook his head and she delightfully told him, "That little girl...was me."
His eyes widened and he stuttered, "I-It was you...?"
She put her fingertips on her lips and chuckled, "I'm not surprised he didn't bring it up. He's always been shy about what happened between us..."
"Buuuuut, I was planning on filling in the gaps whenever he finally mustered up the courage to tell you his side of the story anyways."
Misty closed her eyes and her soft voice carried her words like something out of a fairy tale, "My family has always had a struggle with their immune systems. We're lucky if we ever live to our thirties."
"I was a weak girl who could never enjoy the company of others my age. I always had to stay inside, with Sir Galleo providing me remedies that could help my body survive."
"I had a rebellious adolescence though, if you'd believe that. I would go around pulling pranks on people to try and make friends, overcompensating for my lost years."
"But while it drove most people away, your father...He laughed at my mischief."
"I became attracted to his smile, his friendliness, and his sense of wonder. I watched him from afar as he'd play with other kids. I wanted to be closer, but my mortality hung over me...Who knew if I'd even live long enough to enjoy our love together."
"I suppose...I coveted the wind that carried his wings of freedom, while I was stuck on the ground."
"But then one day...he vanished. I forced the truth out of Sir Galleo eventually and upon learning that he had gone down to the surface for my sake, my heart could barely take it."
"I thought I was some no-name spectre looming over him...But he noticed me. He always had. And that motivated him to brave the surface."
"So I chose to be brave as well and defied death, helping my body get stronger little by little. I waited for his return as the days turned to months, and then to years...Everyone else was forgetting him save for the occasional whisper, but I could not forget. Not ever."
"His courage inspired me, Sarajin. Without that, I might not be alive today."
"Eventually I heard news of his return from Sir Galleo, but he warned me not to approach him...Yet I did, my heart stirred with love."
"What I found, alone in a broken house, was a broken man. Thin, boney, and wasting away in the darkness, he had lost the light in his eyes that I had loved so much."
"With a ghastly gaze he saw a stranger at his doorstep and demanded they go away. But I persisted, returning day after day until his cries turned into confusion."
"'Who are you?' He asked, giving me courage to admit who I was."
"I finally got to return the favor he had unknowingly done for me years ago. As I told him my circumstances and the admiration I had for his bravery and hope, his heart began to thaw and he slowly opened up to me."
"And when it finally hit him just who I was he broke down crying, apologizing profusely for his inability to save even one life."
"But I looked him straight in the eyes and told him he DID save my life. It restored a faint glimmer of hope in his eyes..."
"Even if he couldn't save all the Tribes, he still saved this one life."
"I kept coming back to him and helped him relearn how to eat and walk. And he repaid my kindness by giving me herbs that would help my health improve just a little bit."
"Eventually we got married, moved in together, and I gave birth to a wonderful, wonderful child with a kind heart and a penchant for letting his curiosity get him into trouble."
She opened her eyes and her tender gaze put Sarajin's turmolous heart at ease just a little.
"...You don't care that dad still loves Ophelia?" He murmured.
"Someday you'll understand how complicated love can be, Sarajin." She replied.
"Mooooom..." Sarajin bemoaned with puffed cheeks.
"I'm kidding, dear." She reached out and ruffled his hair, then gently patted it back down. Her hand rested there, soft and cold, yet full of warmth too.
"He may hold feelings for her deep down, but I know he'll never, ever betray the love we share."
"How can you be so sure?" Sarajin said, still having doubts...
Doubts swiftly put to rest, as she brushed her hand down to his cheek and said with a smile, "Because you were born."
Sarajin's chest felt warm and that feeling grew as she kept going, "Somehow, a frail woman with zero expectations to live and a man who felt no reason to live came together and found their reason to live through the son they brought into this world."
"And there is no stronger, no truer love to be found than that."
"We saved each other, and then you saved us both, Sarajin."
Sarajin's eyes began to tear up, trickling down his cheeks, which she wiped onto her sleeve gently.
Sarajin then rubbed his eyes and sniffled as his mother voice carried into his ears, "Your father may come across as distant and overprotective at times, but he's always wanted what he's felt was best for you."
She opened her eyes some more and smiled, "Me? I just want you to be able to live life however you wish. You're a young, healthy boy and will likely live a long, long life. But it shouldn't be a life full of hate or detachment. You are so, so kind and compassionate and I know that whatever it is you want to do, those traits will take you far."
"So...what is your dream, dear?"
Sarajin looked at her with tears and a little snot dripping down his face and declared, "I-I want all the Tribes to be united again, s-so that nobody will have to die fighting a war!"
"That's a great dream."
"W-What about you mom? Have you ever had a dream?"
She took a finger to her lips and stared up at the ceiling, dully snapping her fingers before smiling his way, "I want to live to be 70 years old."
"...Huh?"
"I think that's a fair number. It'll be roughly three times longer than either of my parents lived to be," She then closed her eyes and chuckled, "I'll just need to be careful not to throw a yelling fit again. Still have 28 years to go, y'know."
Sarajin got on his hands and knees pointing at her and declared, "Y-You're going to live to be 100 mom, got it?!"
She reached out and kissed him on the forehead to get him to retreat looking embarrassed. She then glanced at him playfully and said, "Don't you have better things to do than worry about little ol' me, dear?"
When he paused on that question she raised a brow and told him, "Like...letting your friends know you're ok?"
He sprung right off the bed and with his old vigor returned he clutched his fists before his chest and proclaimed, "Y-You're right! I don't even know if Justek is safe!"
He was about to run out the door when he looked tenderly at his mom and wondered, "But what about..."
"Don't worry about your father, I'll handle him." She waved the back of her fingers out and with a big smile Sarajin dried the rest of his face off and ran down the stairs.
She then closed her eyes and leaned back against the wall with a sigh, "You can come out now, honey."
Darnia slid open the closet door and stepped out, one hand on his hip and a sorrowful sigh leaving his mouth.
"I told you, nothing can stop him at this point." She said in a teasing tone.
"...He's going to keep making mistakes until someone gets hurt." He replied bitterly.
"He should be allowed to make mistakes," Misty said with a sideways glance, "As parents, we just have to make sure to be there to save his life, or raise his spirits when they're down."
"There's just...some dreams that are impossible to achieve," Darnia turned to her and admitted tearfully, "I didn't want him to stop dreaming. Just...to manage his expectations a little."
"I don't know," Misty smiled bright and wide, "The stubbornness he got from me, the hope he got from you, the kindness he got from us both...Maybe that's just the right combination to make the impossible possible."
Darnia stared longingly into emptiness and then closed his eyes, letting out one more sigh before admitting, "I want to believe in him, but I can't stop seeing myself...Both strengths and weaknesses."
"Then...maybe it's time you learned to believe in yourself again?" Misty said softly.
Darnia smiled back and murmured, "Maybe..."
Next Time: The Two Left Behind