I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

Sylvia Plath, Mad Girl's Love Song

Misa drifted awake several hours later to the delicious aroma of food being cooked, the soft sizzle of something frying in a pan. For a few seconds she felt a sense of peaceful contentment cover her, something that reminded her of being a little girl again when her father would wake up early on weekends and make breakfast for her and her mom. She dug herself deeper into the blanket, trying to savor the feeling, but even as she did she felt it slipping away. Her eyes popped open.

Reality came back, her recollection of the night before souring her warm feelings. She'd refused to sleep in the guest bedroom the previous night and instead curled herself on the couch. She waited up for a long time before that however, determined to continue her conversation with L, to demand him to take her feelings seriously. He never came back.

She had paced around his apartment, throwing dirty looks at his office. As angry as she was with him she didn't snoop there, but she did explore his apartment a little more. It was mostly bare, so little personality in it besides the odd bits of extravagance. He had top of the line appliances that looked untouched. She spotted in the largest room an enormous king sized bed with crisp, stark white sheets that had probably never been slept in. In the adjoining master bath an ornate marble claw foot tub overlooked more stunning views of the city. Privately she longed to lounge in it, thinking of the tiny soaking tub at her own apartment, but stalked away from it resolutely.

Overall his home felt empty and dark, mirroring her own miserable emotions.

Now in the morning light, she noticed someone had draped the comforter from the guest bed over the top of her. She wondered if maybe he had done it until she noticed it was Watari in the kitchen cooking.

She stretched, shivering slightly before shyly getting up to see what he was making.

Watari looked much more relaxed than she usually saw him. His suit jacket was folded neatly over the back of one of the kitchen chairs and his shirt sleeves were rolled up. He wore a faded red gingham apron. He looked less like a 1940's butler and more like relaxed weekend grandpa. She smiled to herself and couldn't help but think how much it suited him.

He turned and noticed her watching. "Good morning Miss Amane."

"Good morning."

"I'm afraid I haven't prepared a traditional Japanese breakfast."

She could see eggs frying in the pan as well as bacon. He slipped two slices of bread into the sleek black toaster next to the stove. "Would you like some? Or I could try making something more traditional? There may be some miso soup I could prepare-?"

"No, this is fine thank you." She said smiling. She couldn't remember the last time she sat down for breakfast. She didn't exactly starve herself, but she relied on maintaining her size for modeling, skipping breakfast was the norm for her. Today however, she didn't care. Not like I'll be working anytime soon.

He slid toast, eggs, and bacon on a small plate and poured her a glass of orange juice.

"I didn't know you cooked." She said as she took a small nibble of bacon.

He gave her one of his crinkly eyed smiles. "I don't often have the occasion to, but seeing as how there's a guest, I couldn't help myself." She felt her heart grow warm. He really did give off a grandfatherly vibe.

"Watari can I ask, how long have you known L?"

He didn't even look surprised by the name use. Something in his expression told her he'd been expecting it.

"Hmm...Since he was very young."

She knew not to ask anything too private, knowing L had probably swore him to secrecy. Despite her agitation with the detective, she felt intensely curious about his life. What he was like before she met him? What shaped him into the man she barely knew? Her curiosity was only intensified by the maddening privacy he maintained. She bit her lip before speaking up again.

"What was he like when he was a kid?"

"Oh, well let's see," The old man thought for a moment. "Much like he is now. Maybe a little more rambunctious. And of course smart. Sometimes too smart for his own good."

"I bet it was a pain to raise him then." She said nonchalantly, taking a bite of her toast. She watched as Watari's eyebrows raised in surprise. She correctly guessed then that it was Watari who raised him. It wasn't a far reach. She always assumed it, even if L sometimes seemed to treat him more as a butler. There was something paternal behind the looks Watari would give him.

The old man gave her a rueful smile. "No more than his brothers I can assure you."

Brothers!

He leaned in to whisper dramatically, "The real pain came when he became a teenager."

She giggled into her orange juice as she took a sip. He smiled again before shaking his head, sighing.

"Ah, perhaps I've said too much."

"I'll take it to the grave." Misa promised solemnly. She poked a hole into the yolk with the corner of her toast before nibbling on it again, watching the golden liquid spill across the plate.

She enjoyed the idea of a younger L. She imagined him just as Watari described: as he was now, but in miniature, probably stealing candy and solving schoolyard mysteries. And brothers! Were they just like him too? She was just about to ask if L was adopted or if he was related when she heard someone coming in from the elevator around the corner. She tensed as the man in question came into view. His eyes fell upon hers and she quickly looked away. She slid her unfinished plate across the marble countertop.

"What are you taking to the grave?" L asked as he handed a newspaper to Watari.

She ignored him. "Thank you for breakfast."

"Not at all." Watari said frowning. "Are you sure you've had enough?"

She nodded, her mouth set in a thin smile. "I should probably go."

She saw him exchange a quizzical look with L, who spoke again.

"Actually, I needed to speak to you in my office."

He slouched off in that direction. She followed nervously, feeling in a strange way like she was headed to the principals office. Would he bring up what happened last night?

He sat behind his desk and swiveled the screen so that she could see it too.

She sat on the couch, catching a look of her own reflection in the black screen briefly. Mortified by her bed head, she quickly tried to brush through her hair with her fingers.

"Misa, how well do you know Kana Kobayashi?"

As he said this, a picture of Kana popped up on the screen.

She blinked at him startled, not at all expecting the conversation to go in that direction. "Um, not very well, but I've worked with her a few times, why?"

"She's gone missing."

Misa froze.

He spoke again, answering her unasked question that hung in the air. "I do believe it is the same man who's been corresponding with you."

This time another picture popped up, roses crushed on the concrete out of an apartment, she could only assume it to be Kana's. Her stomach turned unpleasantly. She just worked with her a few weeks ago.

"Did you mention your stalker to her? Or any other models?" L asked intently.

"No." She said faintly. "I didn't even think to. I thought he was only interested in me. I should have said something."

He shook his head distractedly. "It may not have made any difference. You made the right move when you contacted me. I'll be meeting with your agency again soon. I have a feeling they're now more grateful for my assistance."

His voice had an edge to it and his eyes had the same intensity and excited gleam she often saw when he was delighted with getting his way. This turn in the investigation seemed to thrill him in a way, another twist in the cord for him to unravel. But this cord was her life, her livelihood, her coworkers livelihoods. A dark thought crossed her mind: Did it really matter to him if something happened to her? He seemed so unaffected by her confession and blew it off easily. He was caught off guard by the kiss of course, but wouldn't anyone be under those circumstances? She didn't give him a chance to respond. But If she disappeared, would he simply view it as an excellent move on the part of her stalker? A challenge to conquer?

No.

She thought of how he held her hand the night before, the unexpected warmth. The occasional small glimpses of kindness she saw behind his eyes. She felt momentarily ashamed of herself for thinking of him that way, he wasn't a monster.

"How long has she been missing?"

"Two weeks at most. I've been searching through her social media. She's received messages from someone to meet, but I can't trace back to who it was with."

"You're sure it was my stalker though?" She asked anxiously, "Anyone could have left a rose right?"

He pursed his lips, staring fixedly at the screen. "Too coincidental. Regardless, I'm not going to stop looking. I contacted her family last night and organized a search for nearby areas. We'll find her."

So that's where he was all night. While she threw her little tantrum, he was out taking care of not only her, but another model too. She felt a fresh wave of shame envelope her.

"If that's all." She said quietly. "I kinda wanna go home now."

"Yes." He said preoccupied, already typing again on his computer. "Watari will take you. I'll have you stop by tomorrow to go over some casework with some of my team so we can establish a timeline."

She left thinking maybe she would try confessing once more then, let him know exactly how she felt, this time without throwing herself at him. She would show him that her feelings weren't just her being confused or lonely. Well, she was lonely, but not so lonely that she would confess for no reason. Maybe a few days away from the incident would provide clarity for him, too.

But the next day proved her completely wrong.

"You don't have feelings for me, Misa." L explained patiently, popping a candied cherry into his mouth. "I'm a surrogate of some kind for you I imagine."

Matsuda sat awkwardly between the two of them at the large dining table, his eyes kept resolutely on the paperwork before him. She had tried keeping her conversation with him private, insisting they talk alone. L on the other hand, didn't see the need. As soon as he caught on to what she was insinuating he dismissed it at once.

Misa ground her teeth in frustration as he rattled on about her loneliness manifesting itself as feelings for him.

"So you're okay if I date other guys then?" She asked through gritted teeth.

He paused a moment eyeing her carefully before saying, "As long as he is properly vetted by my team I see no problem with that."

His words hit her like a slap to the face, but years of modeling taught her how to hide her disappointment. Misa sat up straight, fiddling casually with the straw in her drink. Fine, if he wants to be like that.

"You know," She began sweetly, putting on her model voice. "Perhaps Ryuzaki is right. Misa-Misa is so lonely at night now. With how the agency is with relationships...It's been so long since Misa has had a real boyfriend."

He continued to pick at the bowl of fruit next to him as he responded blandly. "As I said, as long as he is vetted by my team-"

"Oh I don't care either." She interrupted, waving a hand at him dismissively, pulling a mirror from her purse to check her lipstick, "As long as he keeps Misa happy in bed, just about anyone will do. Even someone like Matsuda." She paused and winked at Matsuda who flushed red, opening and closing his mouth like a dead fish.

Ryuzaki sat completely still as she said this, his hands scratching absentmindedly on the worn knees of his faded jeans. She eyed him slyly over her compact. But instead of rising to her bait he nodded calmly, his voice going low and as soft as velvet when he spoke, "As long as Misa is safe, I have no problem with her satisfying her loneliness."

She leaned over and reached across the table, stealing one of the cherries he had midway to his mouth and popped it into her own. "Of course Ryuzaki doesn't."

His expression hadn't changed, but she felt a new spark of tension smoldering in the room. Even Matsuda felt it as he cleared his throat, clearly reminding the two of him he was still there.

"In that case, I'll let Light know I'm available tomorrow night."

She stood smiling to herself as she turned away.

"I said to stay away from him."

She turned on her heel to glare at him. "You just said as long as your team can check him out, I can date who I want. So check him out!"

But she knew that they had been already. She had peeked over Matsuda's shoulder and saw paperwork with details of Light's whereabouts for the last week. How long he had been following him she wasn't sure, but in her mind, if he hadn't arrested him or brought him in for questioning then he probably wasn't doing anything wrong. And most important to her: it made L angry.

She noted with some amusement that a muscle in his jaw was now flexing in irritation.

"You'll be followed on your date." He said in a low voice. "By someone on my team. From the moment you leave until the moment you're home."

"Fine." She shot back icily, "That won't be different for me, I'm used to being watched anyway!"

Matsuda coughed again, desperate to relieve the awkwardness.

She grabbed her phone from her purse and began texting Light at once, fingers moving at lighting speed across the keyboard. She glanced up to see if L was watching, but he was back to looking over the paperwork before him, ignoring her completely.

As usual she ended up feeling more angry with herself than him. Maybe she was pushing herself on him and he really was totally disinterested in her. What was she expecting him to do? I don't know, acknowledge me a little? Is that too much to ask?

She stood slowly and headed towards the elevator, side stepping another agent who was bringing in a box of files for L to look over.

Watari stopped her. "Are you alright?"

She put on a quick smile. "Oh yeah I'm fine."

She looked over her shoulder again. L looked just as absorbed as before.

"Um, I think he's done with me. I'm just gonna go call my friend to come pick me up."

She quickly excused herself, not wanting Watari to see her miserable face as she ducked around the corner.

She checked her phone to see Light had already responded with the time he'd pick her up tomorrow evening. She felt a jolt of nerves tightening in her stomach. This would be good for her, she reasoned, to get out and do something normal for once. Her life the past couple of months had been so hectic and stressful. She wanted an escape from it all, if only for a night. Even if her heart ached when she thought of L, some distance would be healthy. She tried to convince herself it would be anyway.

For the third time that night L's phone went off from beside him. He flipped it open in irritation.

I heard you've taken on a new case!

Do you need some help?

Your favorite little brother will be flying in from LA next month, just saying.

Watari seemed to know exactly who it was by L's exasperated sigh. "He'll just keep messaging until you answer him."

L didn't have time to pacify his brother. He also didn't need any help. What he needed was another cup of coffee, more sugar, and for a certain model to stop making his blood pressure spike every time she opened her mouth.

He grabbed a mug from the cupboard and set it on the counter next to the coffee pot, his mood darkening as he remembered her exact words.

"As long as he keeps Misa happy in bed just about anyone will do."

He inadvertently crushed a sugar cube in his hand as he thought of it. Yes, he had no doubt anyone would do. He was right then when he assumed she was just lonely, seeking companionship wherever she could get it. Still, he didn't like it being rubbed in his face. It was one of the rare circumstances where he didn't enjoy being right.

Especially when he could have easily let himself be the 'anyone' in that equation.

He took an absentminded sip of coffee, shuddering when the bitterness hit his tongue, realizing he hadn't put any sugar in.

Watari seemed to notice his preoccupation.

"Perhaps I should postpone my trip?"

Watari's flight to Winchester left in a few hours. He stood nearby holding his hat and long overcoat in hand, a look of concern on his weathered face.

L shook his head. "Go, it's fine. I'm just frustrated with this case."

Watari nodded, clearing his throat before speaking again. "Miss Amane also seemed somewhat upset today."

L grunted. "Yes, it seems she's often upset with me these days."

"It would be a shame," Watari said, placing his hat on his head, "to let someone else comfort her, but I'm sure she wouldn't have a problem finding that someone, would she?"

He suppressed a sigh. As usual, Watari had the uncanny ability to read L's moods and hit the nail on the head. But whatever idea the old man had gotten from watching the two of them needed to be quashed. "I agree she'll have no issue finding someone suitable to comfort her." He glanced down at his watch. "Do you need me to call you a taxi to the airport?"

"Oh no, I think I'll manage just fine. I'll be back in a few days." He gave him a polite nod and headed out, leaving L alone.

He took the coffee with him to his office, eager to dive back into Kana's disappearance, and lose himself in work for a few more hours. It was only after he was settled back in his chair that he realized he again forgot to put sugar in. He took another sip, wincing. He'd just have to get used to the taste of bitterness.

An: So this weeks update was a bit shorter and slower than others. The next chapter has a lot going on in it, I didn't want to pack too much into this one and overload it for pacings sake.

On another note, I have a Spotify playlist I made to listen to while I write this story, it's under the same name as this fic if you wanna check it out sometime. If you have song suggestions, lemme know I'm always looking for more music, of literally any genre I'm not picky!

Thank you for the comments and kudos!