As well as death, we'd mime marriage.
I'd slide on a spectral ring
and you'd shiver at the thrill
of my thumb and fingertip
sealing the deal for a second till
the thought melted back into your skin.
-Caroline Bird, Temporary Vows
It was times like these L sincerely wished he had a vice to turn to. Drinking never appealed to him, having only gotten drunk once when he was teenager. He hated the feeling. The swimming head, the memory loss, the rancid taste in his mouth that came the morning after. He stayed away from drugs, pharmaceutical or otherwise, for the same reason. He just never understood the appeal of not being in complete control over ones own faculties, never needed that kind of escape.
Until now.
"I knew...you'd come."
Misa's hand went slack, her head rolling to the side. He froze. Sleeping after a concussion wasn't actually all that dangerous. Still, he worried she had some sort of brain damage that could go undetected if she stayed unconscious. Whatever she was hit with wasn't enough to crack her skull, he hoped anyway. It was hard to tell through the blood that matted her hair to her head. But head wounds were notorious for heavy bleeding and there was a long gash in her hairline.
He tried gently shaking her, saying her name. She remained motionless. He pulled the dark sweatshirt he wore over his head and bundled it under hers to keep it propped up. She never made a sound. Paranoid, he felt her neck for a pulse. It was there, drumming faithfully under his fingertips. He breathed out in relief.
Possibly she was just exhausted, the alcohol she drank certainly didn't help. His brain whirred through the possibilities. He had limited medical knowledge. It was obvious she'd need stitches. Based on how she winced when he carried her, he was sure she had a broken rib or two, if not broken they would be bruised. Those would heal in 4-6 weeks depending on severity. The concussion would heal on its own with basic care, barring any permanent brain damage.
That last thought made him nauseous. He felt bleak helplessness threaten to swallow him whole. I should have stayed.
Flashing lights signaled the ambulance's arrival. He stood back as the EMT's hopped out got to work. He let them know what he knew based on his quick assessment. He watched as they loaded her up, her left hand dangled off the side of the stretcher for a moment before the doors shut.
"Follow them." He directed at Matsuda who arrived just before the ambulance. He stood looking pale and worried as L spoke to him. "No visitors. Don't let her out of your sight."
Aizawa approached from behind the van. "The van is registered to Teru Mikami. Petty thief, he's got no violent priors though. He hasn't been found yet but we've got police searching."
L nodded. "Get a team here for evidence retrieval."
"They're already on their way." He said now pointing a flashlight up at the stairs outside her apartment. "You think it was him? The stalker?"
Not a chance. He had more finesse than to simply try to abduct her. Like L, her stalker preferred working from the shadows. Perhaps he was finally ready to have her, so he sent someone else to collect her? It didn't sit right with him. He wasn't sure why, but the entire attack was strange. It was messy and poorly coordinated.
"More likely hired by him." L murmured. They walked up the stairs to her apartment, careful not to disturb anything. One of Misa's high heel shoes lay on the top step, the other near the bottom, the thin ankle strap snapped. She'd never be able to run away in those.
"When did you notice?" Aizawa asked, his flashlight pointed up at the broken security camera.
"A minute after she arrived home." L said frowning up at it. Another messy aspect of the attack.
"Matsuda was watching the cameras." Aizawa explained, "He saw someone approach and smash it. I got the call when I was already on my way here."
Nearby, a long iron wrench lay discarded. He crouched down to look at it more closely. It was bloodied, several blonde hairs stuck to the end of it. He felt nauseous at the sight. Blood had never bothered him before and this amount was minuscule compared to what he was used to seeing. Still, he had to stand back up and breathe for a moment.
"It's lucky you got here in time." Aizawa said, shaking his head in disgust as he now bent down examined the weapon. "He could have taken her God knows where."
I knew...you'd come.
The attacker also could have easily killed her. Misa was probably a hundred pounds soaking wet. Her injuries weren't anything to laugh at, but they were miraculously minor compared to what they could have been. An inebriated woman wearing high heels would be easy enough to simply abduct without the theatrics of striking her over the head, dragging her down the stairs, taking the time to tape her wrists and mouth; it made no logical sense.
"He wasn't going to take her anywhere." L said quietly. "He had other plans."
I knew...you'd come.
Apparently, she wasn't the only one who knew.
More nausea hit him. He leaned over the railing for a moment trying to settle his stomach. Aizawa stood and spoke with concern.
"Ryuzaki, are you alright?"
L nodded, "Is your car nearby I need to borrow it."
Aizawa raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Are we going somewhere?"
"I am. You're going to stay here until the team comes to collect evidence. I'll need your keys."
Aizawa handed them over, still looking worried. L carefully skirted down the stairs his head pounding.
It wasn't just nausea he was feeling, it was rage and guilt churning his stomach. He had watched her all night. He should have gotten there sooner, should have noticed faster what was happening. His hands gripped the steering wheel hard. His softer feelings were getting in the way of his rational thinking. He couldn't allow that to happen anymore. He was grateful for the time alone and the long drive to his destination. It gave him time to think over what happened that night.
Aizawa had dropped L off near Misa's apartment earlier that evening. L insisted on doing it alone, he didn't want Light recognizing any vehicles. Watari wouldn't have approved so he was grateful for his absence.
He stopped Naomi Misora outside of Misa's apartment. She approached him cautiously, arms crossed over her chest.
"What're you doing here?" She asked warily.
He held up a small tracker that contained a mic. It was tiny, barely visible between his thumb and forefinger. Naomi instantly recognized it and shook her head, looking repulsed.
"I'm not bugging her."
"You'd rather she be left unsafe?" L asked. "It's just a backup in case he takes her somewhere I can't get to. Like his apartment."
The former detective shot him with a pointed glare. "Are you insinuating she'll sleep with him?"
L shrugged. "She may choose to."
She snatched the bug from his hand with disgust. "Then you don't know her."
He received an angry text from her 30 minutes later. She'd placed it in Misa's purse.
"Don't make me regret this."
L was not usually a man prone to action. He preferred pulling the strings from behind the scenes. But he also wasn't one to let a learning opportunity pass him by. He stood in the shadows, waiting for Light Yagami to show up.
He'd donned a black hoodie, grateful fall was beginning to cool the air enough at night so that he didn't look suspicious standing around near the vending machines across from her apartment complex. He sipped on a canned coffee watching her front door, every now and then checking his watch.
A long black limousine arrived. Putting on a show I see. Light Yagami exited, checking his appearance in the reflection of the windows before heading up the stairs towards her front door.
Misa came out giving a little twirl. From his vantage point he couldn't get a good look at her. Thanks to the mic however, he could hear her conversation with him clearly.
"The Aman Hotel." He heard Light tell the driver. L's own ride, a taxi he called earlier to arrange transportation for the night, arrived right on time. He echoed Lights directions.
"The Aman."
He kept the earpiece in while he rode in silence. Their small talk didn't tell him much. Several minutes later his taxi pulled up to the Aman. He tossed several bills in the front seat, his eyes still glued to Misa's back. After a small gap in time he walked in. The concierge immediately halted him.
"Can I help you sir?"
L stopped, distracted. Looking into Light's dinner plans in advance let him know he'd have an entire section booked, L would have to sit somewhere out of sight. He watched as the two were lead into the restaurant.
"I have a room here." L said, his eyes still on Misa as she disappeared around the corner.
The concierge eyed L's rumpled appearance with displeasure.
"Under what name sir?" He asked, clearly skeptical.
"Hideki Ryuga." L replied, now digging into his pocket producing a wad of bills, peeling a few off. "Here. After you check my name this should also ensure my privacy. Excuse me."
He left the stunned concierge behind to sit at the bar in the restaurant, hood still pulled up. The bartender looked at him with the same skepticism as the concierge.
"Tea, please. And sugar."
"Sir, this is a bar-"
L reached again into his pocket, pulling out a few more bills to toss on the bar. When all else failed, money kept people happy and compliant.
The bartender collected them looking mollified. "You got it."
He could hear Light ordering for Misa. Controlling. He noted mentally. He sipped on the tea the bartender slid to him, absentmindedly plunking in sugar cube after sugar cube as he listened in.
"What did you go to school for?" Misa asked Light.
"Ah boring stuff at first. Computer science, technology, that sort of thing..."
L made another mental note. That part was true. When he dug through Light's background he saw how intelligent he was. Impressive even by his own standards.
Light Yagami also benefitted from having a wealthy, loving family. His father owned a popular modeling agency, his stay at home mother doted on him and his younger sister who was also gifted with intelligence. The perfect family with him as the perfect son. His grades throughout school were flawless, he was popular among his peers, as well as athletically inclined. He was awarded multiple scholarships, was accepted into a prestigious technology program...He had no where to go but up.
So learning that he had to switched to business in order to take over Facade confused L. It seemed like Light had been heading in an entirely different direction up until a few years ago when he took a strange interest in Facade. He read emails sent to Light expressing their disappointment that he wouldn't be pursuing technology any longer, that they'd hope he'd work for them at The Public Security Intelligence agency when he graduated.
The announcement of his fathers impending retirement solidified Light's next move: he'd take over. He began working at the modeling agency with his father right out of college.
It struck L just then that if Light had continued on his previous career path, the two of them would have surely crossed paths. Perhaps even working together someday.
"I'd also like to be married soon."
He could hear the shock in Misa's voice as she responded. "Really?"
Controlling. Moves quickly in relationships. L wasn't sure on how traditional dating usually worked, but he knew that wasn't exactly normal. He remembered when he was snooping through Light's past there was an ex girlfriend he'd been unable to track down. All he knew was that the two dated briefly in high school. He didn't have many other relationships otherwise, which L found strange given his obvious popularity and wealth.
Misa echoed L's own thoughts. "Sounds like you're after the perfect life."
It did indeed. Marriage. Children. The cookie cutter life. Though perhaps L just didn't get it. Maybe it was the norm for some people, to move very quickly. He thought of Misa's hand, small and delicate with a diamond ring glittering on it. In the context of belonging to Light however it looked like it weighed a thousand pounds.
"I can be a very persistent man when I see something I want." He heard Light say.
Unfortunately for you that isn't going to happen. He couldn't control Misa, but if Light did have something to do with her stalker like he thought, he'd never let him get the chance.
L was surprised at how much he learned about Misa as she spoke with Light. After the two finished their meal, they took a stroll outside. He could almost imagine himself there, walking beside her instead of Light. He could imagine her small smiles and soft sighs through the cadence of her voice. She didn't want to be a model forever, but she still enjoyed it. She mused about getting too old for the profession. You're not. He thought dismissively. She still looked the same as when he first met her, he doubted anyone could rationally call her 'old'. She talked about singing, how she wished she could do it more because it made her happy. Then you should.
She brought up her own future, pausing as she said softly, hesitantly. "I do...want to get married someday too."
He could almost see the pale pink flush warm her cheeks, causing her to look away in embarrassment, because she was admitting something important to her. Something that made her feel vulnerable. When she spoke again her voice was wistful.
"My parents, when they got married, it looked so sweet and simple. I saw pictures of it. They eloped somewhere overseas on vacation. It was outside in the spring, my mom wore a pretty white dress. I've always wanted something like that."
He could hear an underlying current of sadness weaving its way through her words. You can, he thought insistently. You've got time to find someone who can give you that. He could see her, just as she described. Dressed in a gauzy white gown in a misty, shaded grove surrounded by honeysuckle and bellflowers. Except it was someplace only he was familiar with. It was near the orphanage where he grew up, where there was a popular wedding destination near the forest. When there weren't weddings he and the other kids would play there. He hadn't thought of it in years.
"But it's hard to even think about stuff like that with this creep after me. I feel like he's taken my future."
Yes, there was that.
But he would make sure she was safe. He wouldn't her future be robbed from her. He'd solve her case and leave her with a future that was wide open for her.
...but what if he was wrong about Light Yagami? He'd certainly snatch her up and make her his. If not Light, there would always be some other man eager to take his place. L wasn't ignorant to the noticeable appeal she had. He'd found her attractive since the day he met her, even if her attitude sometimes detracted from her beauty. He was professional about it in a way he never had been with anyone before. For some reason, in his mind, Misa Amane was strictly off limits to him. He regarded his attraction to her as simple, obvious. She was a lingerie model and he wasn't blind.
He thought of how she kissed him, the way he replayed it over and over in his head since. The way he usually ended up imagining an entirely different ending to the scenario when he was alone...It meant nothing. Even if now there was something in his attraction to her that was distinctly possessive, magnetic. It's what made him decide to personally follow her that night.
"...this Ryuzaki guy, is he really doing a good enough job?"
That, and his deep mistrust of Light Yagami.
L was shaken from his thoughts. For a while, he could pretend Light wasn't there at all. He listened as Light spoke again, his words oozing in false sincerity.
"I just wonder if he'll really keep you safe. The handshake event. That other model going missing...These things happened after he took over your case, right?"
L felt agitated hearing this. Because he was right. It wasn't the open and shut case he assumed it would be. Light's tone, however, seemed to imply he was trying to plant some seed of doubt about L's abilities. He could hear Misa's voice harden slightly as she spoke. "I trust him."
He felt undeserving of that praise. He'd done nothing but get stuck deeper into the case, angering and confusing her in the process.
She complained about the cold, wanting to head back inside, but L could hear the tightness in her voice.
L got up from the bar, from the way they were talking the date was about to come to an end. At the restaurant at least. He needed to get back to the taxi to be ready to follow them back. He could see Misa and Light coming around the corner already. He made sure his hood obscured his face and headed out the door.
He tapped on the window of cab driver who lay sleeping in the front seat. L had paid an obscene amount of money to guarantee he'd have a quick ride back. The cab driver jumped at the sudden noise and after looking up to see L he quickly had the back door open for him.
"Did you enjoy your meal sir?"
"Yes, very interesting." L murmured preoccupied, still looking out for Light's limo. At last it slowly rounded the parking lot.
"Follow that limousine." L directed. "Stay far enough back that they won't notice."
The cab driver shook his head in bewilderment, but did as he asked. Through the earpiece he could hear very little conversation. He wondered darkly if it was because her lips were otherwise occupied. Were there a pair of hands running up her smooth thighs, under her short dress, was her back arched against...he gnawed at his thumbnail until he tasted blood. No, he could hear no difference in her breathing to imply any sexual activity. It didn't make him feel any less eager to have her home though.
They pulled up to her apartment. L got out quietly, tossing more bills at the thrilled cab driver, asking him to wait a few more minutes.
He could see Misa stumble a bit after she left the limo, steadying herself against the handrail. How much did you drink? He frowned watching Light lead her up the stairs. She looked off balance. He felt antsy. Don't invite him in.
He dug his hands into his pockets pacing across the street, as she and Light spoke.
"I'm so grateful for you, L."
His head snapped up. Had she seen him? No. It was a mistake. From his place in the shadows he could see her clap a hand to her mouth, quickly explaining her slip. 'Too much to drink.' It made sense, but he couldn't help but foolishly hope she'd been thinking of him.
No doubt incensed that she'd said someone else's name, Light leaned down allowing her to press her lips to his. L expected it of course, even so he felt a swell of equal parts resentment and longing strike him. He assumed she'd go back to Light's place or at least invite him in, but she didn't. After all her talk about wanting someone to warm her bed, she wasn't going to?
Then you don't know her. Naomi's words came back to him.
Perhaps he didn't, but he knew her much better now. He watched Light head down the stairs and into his limousine, noticing the sour look on his face. It looked like he too expected more.
L sighed, heading back to the waiting cab across the street. Aizawa would be there soon to start his shift watching her apartment. She'd gotten home safely, his job was done. He got inside the cab, directing the driver to his apartment.
It wasn't a minute into the drive, just as he was about to take the earpiece out when he heard a sharp intake of breath. He went very still, listening intently. The sound of her purse falling, a shriek, a sickening thud.
"Stop!" He yelled.
The cab driver frowned at him through the reareview mirror. "What?" He began slowing the car to the curb, "Whats wro-"
But L had already jumped from the vehicle, tumbling hard on the ground before sprinting back up. There wouldn't be enough time to explain, to make the driver turn around in time. He ran through the streets, the earpiece blaring the attack over his panting. He could feel every gasp of pain as if he was the one being hurt. Her panicked cries stabbed into him.
Furious and terrified, he leapt over the fence behind her apartment building. His legs pounded into the pavement, jostling the earpiece out. Hang on. He was close, he was almost there. He rounded the corner in time to see a man in black slamming the doors to a white van shut. He has her. The man turned in time to see L launching himself at him.
His fist connected with the mans jaw, causing him to grunt and fall backwards. Blinded by fury, L prepared to attack again, only to see the man getting to his feet and running away towards the back alley.
Conflicting desires kept L frozen for split second. Go after the attacker or check on Misa. Anger pulsated through him, along with the intense desire to tear the man apart.
The muffled cry from inside the vehicle made the decision for him.
He wrenched the doors to the van open to see Misa curled up against the other side of the van, her eyes wild with fear and then relief. A relief that was mirrored inside of him. A relief so powerful it felt acutely like pain, it sucked the air from him, he could drown in it.
Now, hours later, he pulled into the hospital parking lot, turning off the ignition. He sat there quietly, his hands still gripped on the steering wheel. He was sure Light had something to do with it. He remembered something he said to Misa that night.
"I just don't want something worse to have to happen for you to finally kick him to the curb..."
Too coincidental. The failed attack was an attempt to divide Misa from L. It was a gut instinct, he knew it.
Initially, he drove to Light's apartment. He meant to confront him, to do something with the anger that coursed through him. He was frustrated that he didn't bring a weapon. He sat outside contemplating his next move...
But then he remembered Misa's eyes, the undeserved gratitude in them, the way she caressed his face to comfort him even though she was the one hurt...and it watered his rage, tempering it enough to see reason. If he went to Light, he'd end up doing something he regretted, it could compromise the case. It would be bad for Misa in the long run, he couldn't risk it. He wouldn't.
It was more important to see with his own eyes that she was safe. And besides it wasn't Light he was most angry with, it was himself.
He found his way to her room in the hospital where Matsuda waited on a plastic folding chair outside. He straightened up when he saw L.
"She'll be okay." He explained before L could even ask. "She's got a broken rib, a concussion, and she got stitches. But the doctor said most of it would heal on its own with rest."
L's shoulders sagged with relief. Just as he hoped. Matsuda continued, "She'll be released tomorrow morning, where should I take her?"
He wouldn't make the mistake of having her out of his sight again. Not until the case was solved.
"My home." He said quietly. "When she's released take her there. Don't make any stops and let me know the moment you leave."
Matsuda nodded and then added hesitantly, "She asked about you earlier, should I tell her you're here?"
"No. Let her rest. I should head back." He paused to look through the hospital window at her. Her head was turned so he couldn't see her face. He was grateful for that. He wondered if she had time to start feeling less grateful for him.
He turned to Matsuda. It was strange. He knew it was his job, that he was there for the paycheck and perhaps a good reccomendation when the case was solved, but he couldn't help but feel especially grateful for the detective.
"Thank you."
Matsuda nodded, looking over at Misa through the glass. His eyes looked red rimmed but alert. "I won't let anything happen to Misa. No one is getting by me."
L almost smiled. "Of course not. I'll see you in the morning."
He made a note to make sure Matsuda was given a hefty bonus.
The eventful night caught up to him as he arrived home, leaving him feeling hollow, exhaustion settling into his bones. As the elevator reached his floor however, he could hear the TV in his apartment. Watari wouldn't be due back for another day at least. That meant someone else was paying him a visit.
He walked in cautiously, but the errant chocolate wrappers strewn on the marble countertop in the kitchen told him what he already deduced.
Mello lounged on the sofa in the living room, his black boots dangling off the edge. Shoes inside, a bad habit he brought home from overseas.
He was reading the magazine L had bought weeks earlier, the one with Misa on the cover. He pulled it down to address L casually.
"Misa-Misa?" Mello said doubtfully, "Tell me this isn't the case you've been stuck on?"
He tossed aside the magazine. It fluttered face down on the floor. L picked it up by the corner, carefully setting it on the coffee table.
"No greeting?" Mello sighed dramatically. "Not happy to see your favorite brother?"
"Welcome." L said dryly, eyeing the mess he'd made. "Make yourself at home."
He sat up, still grinning at L. Mello was his younger brother in name only. Being raised in an orphanage meant L got to know many children throughout his life. They came and went, often he didn't bother to learn some of their names. Only a very small few ever felt like actual siblings, bonded by more than blood. He remembered when he was around twelve years old, yelling at Mello for being 'like an annoying brother' after he spilled chocolate milk all over one of L's homework assignments. He'd said it with the intention to hurt him, make him stomp away in anger or else tell on him. Instead, it had the opposite effect: he was thrilled.
"I heard from a model I was fooling around with last week that Misa-Misa was number one around here until she went crazy on a fan at a meet and greet."
"Is that so?" L asked uninterested, now bending to pick up the other wrappers Mello had carelessly thrown around.
"And," Mello continued. "From what I heard from Watari, it looks like you're following way too many rules."
He was right about that. Misa's case had him going by the book more than he'd have liked. He got search warrants, organized meetings...things he never bothered to worry about before. He solved cases, kept people alive long enough to testify, for the truth to come out. Then he left. But her case was different. As much as it pained him to admit it: he cared about what happened to her afterwords. Perhaps too much. He wouldn't be apart of her life of course, but he wanted to make sure he left as little mess as possible when he did leave. She deserved that much.
He'd done a poor job so far. She sat half beaten and broken in a hospital room for all his help.
L headed into the kitchen, grabbing a glass to fill at the faucet, digging through a cabinet nearby for ibuprofen. He shook a couple into his mouth and gulped down the cold water. His head was pounding. As much as he wanted to sleep he needed to stay awake. He had too much to look into before he could let himself rest.
Mello had followed him in. He'd brought the magazine in to flip through again. He turned a few pages, stopping on one of the more revealing pictures of her. He eyed it speculatively as he spoke.
"So you're helping this lingerie model with a stalker. You wanna explain to me why you took this case?"
"Not really. This isn't something I need help with." He said coolly, "Why are you here?"
Mello looked slightly sheepish. "I might have gotten mixed up in a little bit of trouble let's just say...So I caught an earlier flight."
Most likely illegal. But if anyone was to blame it was L, who often skirted the rules when he needed to. Of course Mello would follow suit as he got older. The difference between them was that L waited until it became necessary to bend the rules, Mello rushed in head first regardless.
"And after talking to Watari I knew you needed help."
"I don't." L reiterated, grabbing a container of loose tea down from the cabinet and scooping some into a small bag.
Instead of listening, Mello dug a folder out from a leather bag that hung from the back of one of the kitchen chairs, sliding it across the marble countertop. L grabbed it and flipped through it quickly, inside were several headshots of Mello, a list of references...
Mello beamed at him proudly from across the counter. "That's too bad. Because you're looking at Facade's newest model."
"You're...becoming a model now?" L asked blankly.
"As your best looking and smartest brother it made sense to go undercover for you. You're welcome."
"Smartest?" L said mildly, now filling an electric kettle with water. "I didn't realize Near would be helping you."
Mello scowled from behind him. "He's too busy being a perfect little prodigy to get any real work done." He hopped up on the counter smiling smugly. "So? I start this week. I can give you intel. Pretty smart, Right?"
L sighed wearily. Mello's constant need for validation had to stem somewhere from childhood. His youngest brother didn't have that issue, so it wasn't just an orphan trait. Perhaps it would have been better if he'd been adopted out to a real family, then L wouldn't be put in this position.
Though, as much as he hated to admit it, he could possibly use the extra help. Misa would be out of work for a while. Having an inside man could prove beneficial.
"I'll take your assistance." L said slowly, "...but I want another set of eyes with you. I'll hire your manager tomorrow."
Mello laughed, "Fine, fine. Plus you'll be happy to have me around I brought some toys with me."
He produced a small handgun and set it on the counter, admiring it. "So much easier to get these overseas."
L looked at the handgun. It'd been a while since he had to use one. Tonight if he had it...
"You look like shit by the way." Mello said, interrupting his thoughts. He nodded at L's shirt as though he was just getting a proper look at him. L looked down to see the dirt and blood stains on it. Misa's blood. Mello frowned at L's hand that was holding his teacup. His knuckles were slightly bloody too and scraped from when he hit Misa's attacker.
Mello's frown of concern quickly melted into a smile of intrigue.
"You may be breaking more rules than I thought."
AN: Thanks for reading and leaving comments as usual. I hope you're all safe and well. Thank you for the one shot suggestions last chapter!
A note on character ages: since this is an AU their ages aren't exactly the same as in DN. L for instance is around 28, Misa 23, Mello 22, etc.