A huge thanks to those of you who have reviewed so far!

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I own nothing. Every character mentioned here came from the genius mind of JK Rowling and her wonderful series. :-)

Friends

Hogwarts was great. It was getting close to the end of the first term and I don't think I had ever had such a fantastic year before. After the whole wound and murtlap incident, Lily and I had become closer than ever. Remus of course felt awful for having hurt me so seriously, but I couldn't blame him. He wasn't himself when he was a werewolf and I made sure he didn't feel bad about it. Since then, life had been great. The Marauders were pulling off one good prank after another and we were having the time of our lives. The Quidditch team was better than ever and Gryffindor was all but assured the Quidditch Cup for the third year running. I was also working harder in my classes and was amongst those at the top of the year with grades that rivaled only those of Lily Evans.

Lily.

Wow, just thinking about her name made me feel warm and fuzzy inside. I still hadn't made my move to ask her out, but who could blame me? I had unsuccessfully asked her out for the past couple of years and now that we were friends, I didn't want to spoil feeling I got when I was around her. This whole friends thing came as a shock to both of us that year and I was afraid to ruin it like I was so keen on doing with anything that I really cared about. I still wasn't sure how she felt about me because although we had gotten really close, I occasionally spotted her talking and spending time with Adam Creevey in the corridors before and after lessons. I automatically assumed the worst of course, thinking that they were already engaged and making plans to have children, but I'm sure she would have told me about something that important. I mean, I was her friend, right? I knew they were going to the next Hogsmeade trip together because she felt bad about leaving him the previous time, but I wasn't sure if she really liked him or not. I contemplated following her around under my invisibility cloak but I knew that I could never live with myself if she ever found out about it. I didn't go ahead with my plan perhaps because she still didn't exactly trust me so much as to share that type of information with me, and getting caught under an invisibility cloak was not the fastest way to gain Lily's trust.

Whatever the situation was between her and Adam, I was losing sleep over it and it was becoming very difficult to hide it from the other Marauders. They knew me better than I knew myself, but I couldn't tell them what I was feeling. Peter didn't know much about girls because he was too shy to ever approach them. Remus didn't date much either because of his paranoia over his condition, and Sirius went through girls like he went through pieces of parchment in History of Magic. They were definitely not the type of people I could ask for advice when it came to girls, hence leaving me completely on my own. To make matters worse (or better?), I had to spend an excessive amount of time alone in the common room with Lily for our weekly Head meetings. It was great being able to talk to her like a normal person, because I knew she was finally getting to know the real me instead of the arrogant kid who went around hexing every Slytherin in sight. Other times spending time alone with her made me really uncomfortable because all I ever wanted to do was tell her exactly how I felt. Of course in my mind I had played out the entire scenario where I told her how I felt and she leapt into my arms telling me she felt the same way and had felt that way for years. We would then share a passionate kiss as she ran her fingers through my hair, and then we walked away towards the sunset. Hey, it could happen. I just had to find out how she felt about me. What if I asked her out and she got mad? What if she accused me of trying to become her friend to get her to go out with me? I couldn't have that. I had worked too hard to become her friend to mess it all up that easily. My emotions were going to have to take a backseat to our friendship for the moment. Gosh what was she doing to me!

One particular night in late November Lily and I were in the common room planning out the next Hogsmeade meeting and new corridor patrolling schedules for the prefects. It was a normal conversation between a typical Head Boy and Head Girl, but I began to notice that she was a bit fidgety. I decided to take the conversation in a new direction by asking her questions about her life back home. It started out simple enough, but it soon got very complicated.

"So what were you like as a kid?" I asked leaning back against the sofa.

"I was very shy. I don't think I ever did anything out of the ordinary… I was very dull come to think of it," she answered looking thoughtful.

"You never got into any trouble?"

"No," she said blushing. "How about you, were you always a troublemaker?"

"The worst troublemaker," I said with a smile as flashbacks from my childhood came into my mind. I was an awful, awful child. "My parents decided early on I was probably going to have to be home schooled because they were afraid of what I might do at any public or private school," I told her laughing. "Ultimately though, they decided against better judgment and sent me to a private school anyway."

"Somehow it doesn't surprise me that you were a trouble maker," she said holding back her laughter. "Do you have any siblings?"

"Um, no," I said trying to hide the lump that had just developed in my throat. I hated talking about my family. "I only have Sirius, he's practically my brother. He's been living with me since the summer before our sixth year. How about you, do you have any siblings?" I asked frantically trying to take the attention away from myself.

"I have an older sister. Petunia," she answered pursing her lips.

"I take it you don't get along with her very well?" I asked.

"We used to be very close when we were kids, but everything changed the day I got my Hogwarts letter."

"How come?"

"Well, she thought she would get a letter in the mail too but when it never arrived, she got this idea that I was some sort of freak because I could do magic. My parents always told her that I wouldn't change once I came to Hogwarts and that I was still the same person, but she refused to have anything to do with me," she said looking away from me.

"Have your parents been able to change her mind since?"

"No. They died in a car crash in my second year," she said trying to hold back her tears. "When my parents died I thought things would be different between us. I thought that maybe Petunia would learn to accept me for what I am, but she only hated me more."

"I'm sorry for asking Lily. I didn't know," I said feeling terrible for bringing it up.

"Don't be sorry. It happened a long time ago."

"I bet you still miss them a lot."

"I do. It hurts too, but I've learned to deal with it over the years. You'll get there too one day," she said suddenly looking straight into my eyes.

I quickly looked down to avert her gaze.

"James, it's okay to feel pain. When my parents died I couldn't even bring myself to continue going to lessons but I knew I had to. You seem to be handling it very well as far as I can tell."

"Some days are better than others, but it's gotten much better overall. I have great friends to keep me in high spirits all the time so it's easy to forget about it sometimes."

"You shouldn't forget James. It's okay to remember them and what happened. It helps the healing process."

"I don't need to try and remember what happened. The Dark Mark above our house is still very fresh in my mind," I said with a bitter tone. She must have sensed this because she shifted a bit and slowly got up.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

"You didn't do anything wrong," I said with a fake smile. The last thing I needed was to break down in front of her. What would she think of me? After all I was James Potter. Wild, strong, brave, outgoing James Potter. "It's late; we should probably call it a night," I said with finality in my voice.

"I guess you're right."

I slowly stood up and began to walk away when she caught my arm.

"If you need to talk about it when you're ready, I'll be here James," she said with a look of concern.

I don't know what made me do it, but the sincerity in her voice was just too much to handle. I had more feelings running through me at that moment than I had ever had in my entire life. I quickly closed the gap between us and enveloped her in my arms as if I would never see her again. We remained that way for a few seconds before I tore myself away from her and placed a kiss on her forehead. No matter what I told her, she could still see right through me somehow. I never really told anyone what I felt after I found my parents dead at our house. I figured everyone had enough common sense to know what I would be feeling, but then there was the unfortunate incident concerning my older brother that occurred when I was eight years old. I never told anyone at Hogwarts except for the Marauders about my brother's death, and the memory of that haunted me everyday. I had never talked about my feelings about that with anybody; not even Sirius. It was something I never wanted to remember. Although we were best friends, Sirius and I never talked about stuff that messed with our emotions. My feelings were my own, and I didn't want anyone to know exactly how I felt. Sirius was the same way. Being in the common room with Lily however, changed something in me. I felt like I could really talk to her; tell her everything I was feeling because it was the most amazing feeling in the world to have her in my arms. I could have stayed like that forever but I could sense she was in shock by my sudden burst of emotion. I silently walked away from her and went up to my dormitory with thoughts of her and what had just happened. I was definitely going to have trouble sleeping.

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