When you were here before
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel
Your skin makes me cry
You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so fuckin' special

Creep, Radiohead

Noises from the kitchen eased Misa into consciousness. As she stretched in bed she felt unusually light, trying to capture the translucent edges of a pleasant dream. Soft hands trailing down her back, weaving up through her hair, warmth at the base of her throat, whispers she couldn't make out the words to. It was fleeting, just out of grasp. Only the feelings remained, filling her with a warm sense of optimism, undoubtedly stemming from her conversation the previous night with L.

Lawliet.

She felt a smile pull at her lips as she sat up, tugging her hair from her ponytail to let it fall down her back.

She hadn't expected him to open up to her so willingly. He didn't push her away like he usually did. And while it made her heart ache, she knew she needed to be realistic about the encounter. I have to keep it casual. No more losing her temper so easily, no more expecting too much of him. No more letting her fantasies get the better of her. If she was going to make this friendship thing work she'd have to keep herself in check. He wasn't the romantic type, he wasn't going to just fall in love with her, he made that clear. The sooner she got that through her head, the better.

But she wondered how much she could confide in return. She hadn't told him that Light knew about her family or that she'd been having nightly conversations with him over the phone. Unlike L, whose words were carefully chosen and deliberated over, Light poured everything out for her. He reiterated his desire to be married young and to start a family. That his dating past, while scarce according to him, was something he wanted to get away from. He was ready for something permanent. She knew exactly why he steered their conversations this way.

"I've never met anyone like you, Misa. I don't want to let you get away."

She couldn't help but wonder how L would react if she told him that Light wanted to be with her. She reigned in the idea that he would be bitterly jealous and replaced it with the more realistic scenario. One where he was stern, disapproving, concerned.
"I don't trust him."

Whether she wanted to be with Light at all, was another story and so was the alternative answer. Would it even be possible, knowing that soon he'd be her boss, to let him down easy? He could be so persuasive. He cornered her, touched her easily, brought his lips to hers. She wished L was like that instead. Any physical touch between the two usually ended with him recoiling away from her like she was poisonous.

If L never offered to help, would she have gone willingly into Light's arms? He made his desire for her clear, plainly spoke how he felt, offering to give her everything she wanted. Somewhere in this parallel universe, one where L never sat opposite her in that cafe, was she with Light instead?

She thought of the phone calls and messages she left for him over the years. How much longer would she have continued them if someone else had stepped in for her? The lightness she felt upon waking began to fade, like clouds overtaking the sun, draining the warmth built up from her pleasant dreams. She'd just have to wait until her stalker was caught, when her world was normal again. Then she would deal with all of that.

She slipped out of bed, shivering and reaching for a fluffy pink robe, wondering what Watari was making for breakfast. She hadn't been eating as much lately, much to the old man's chagrin, but now she felt like she could stomach something for his sake.

By the time she left her room however, the acrid smell of something burning wafted through the apartment. Her footsteps quickened as she rushed to the kitchen where, instead of the old man preparing breakfast like usual, L stood in front of the stove, trying to scrape something black and burnt from the bottom of a pan.

She rushed over, grabbing the spatula and frying pan from his hands to drop inside the empty sink with a clatter. She turned the knob on the stove, looking back at him in disbelief.

"What are you doing?"

"Watari asked that I prepare breakfast. He's running late."

He dumped another plate of something else he scorched beyond recognition into the shiny silver trashcan, his brow furrowed.

She sighed in relief and then giggled at his disgruntled expression.

"I've never even seen you cook before."

"Yes, I'm sure now you can gather why." Something about him trying and failing to make her breakfast made her feel those very dangerous warm, fuzzy feelings again. He just looked so cute when he pouted.

He glanced over at her, giving her one of his awkward, sweeping assessments. She remembered just then, that she'd gotten out of bed without checking a mirror, thinking it was only Watari. She hugged the robe more closely to herself, feeling her smile falter.

"What?"

"You look nice."

She checked her reflection in the glass of the double oven nearby and noted her messy hair and puffy face from sleep. She looked about as un-glamorous as she could possibly look. She arched an eyebrow at him.

"You look rested, I should say." He amended. "I know you've had trouble sleeping recently."

You're one to talk, she thought but gave him a warm smile.

"After our conversation last night I slept very well, thank you."

"Ah."

He turned away at once to busy himself with preparing coffee, something he was less likely to burn.

"Oh, get a room." Mello said with a pained moan. The tall blonde lumbered in looking worse for the wear, with dark circles under his eyes, his skin sallow as he wandered over to a cabinet digging through it until she heard the familiar rattle of a bill bottle.

"Fun night?" She asked, grabbing an apple from a basket in the center of the kitchen island, feeling grateful she'd stuck to her one glass policy with drinking the night before.

He tossed back the pills, throwing her a dirty look.

"Yes, watching over you is the thrill of my life."

"I don't remember getting drunk and handsy with a bunch of models being a part of your job description." She said lightly, turning the fruit over in her hands, adding innocently. "But maybe after what you told me last night, you just needed a little stress relief?"

"What did he tell you?" L asked.

She ignored Mello's furious look of warning.

"That my stalker is keeping tabs on everyone here."

L turned to Mello in obvious disapproval.

Mello gaped at him.

"Well look at her!" He cried, pointing accusingly across the table. Misa held the apple up to her mouth to hide her smile. "She's obviously not as disturbed by it as you said she'd be! Her little stunts with going out all the time are dangerous, not to mention a waste of time. I'm tired of pretending this whole thing is even worth it. You could be working on an important case."

"This is the case I'm dedicating my time to." L said patiently. "I decide what's important or not. I'm letting you assist me as as a favor. If you can't stay focused, perhaps I'll call Lidner and she can escort you back to the states."

Mello sat down, throwing another mutinous glare her way. He pulled a knife from his pocket and began to take his aggression out on paring an apple. She pursed her lips, suppressing the grin that tried fighting its way to her mouth. He was always making her feel guilty about trying to live her life despite everything going on, which according to L, was the right thing to do anyway! If it were up to him, Misa would be locked away forever while they waited for her stalker to make a move.

"I guess this is a bad time to ask about leaving again." She began hesitantly.

"What did you have in mind?" L asked, ignoring Mello's disbelieving scoff.

She took a deep breath.

"The agency is hosting a party to celebrate the new CEO, later this week." She said carefully. "It's in Sapporo. I was asked to attend."

"Light invited you?"

His back was to her as he was spooning in several lumps of sugar but she saw him pause, his head turned to the side, spoon hovering over the cup.

"Not exactly, I was asked a while back. It's technically for work, I'll be paid for my appearance. And it's not just me, they're hiring lots of models to show up. I think even some from other agencies."

When she got the invitation the previous week she wasn't sure L would even consider it but after last night, she had hope. She knew she'd mostly be there for decoration. Sometimes she was invited to events, like the party she went to the previous night, to serve as eye candy or to make something look trendy and popular. In this case it would be even more important to look good since so many important people would be attending. There was also the added pressure due to the controversy currently surrounding the agency, to look happily employed. No other models had applied to be signed on recently. L seemed to be thinking along the same lines.

"Likely to work on their image." He murmured. "No doubt rumors are still circulating around Facade."

L's expression was impassive but she could see the familiar wheels turning in his head, deliberating over something.

"And if I tell you no?"

"Then I won't go." She said at once. She'd be disappointed of course, because she was looking forward to attending her first formal black-tie event. And it was in Sapporo, which she heard looked beautiful in the late fall...but she wasn't about to throw away the progress they made. If he wanted her to be a good girl and stay home, she would. Especially after learning that she'd probably be dragging the entire team across the country to babysit her. "I don't want to cause any more trouble for everyone."

He nodded, taking a long sip, his lips lingering on the edge of the cup. He tapped his fingers on the marble counter for a moment before answering.

"We'll go."

Mello sighed dramatically, apparently unable to hold his tongue any longer.

"Great, I guess I'll just clear out my schedule so Misa-Misa can go on a nice little vacation."

"Actually, you'll stay here." L said pouring himself another cup. "Perhaps Misa is right; you need a break. You can complete some paperwork for me while we're gone, since you're so eager to be useful to this operation."

Mello's face was comically stricken.

"Who's going with you going then? Matsuda? Naomi?"

"Neither. I'll accompany her by myself."

Misa nearly choked on her apple as she took a bite and felt her face grow warm.

Just the two of them? Staying in a hotel, miles away from the very one…Together? She felt an equal mix of excitement and nerves fluttering in her stomach. She did her best not to let her imagination, which was currently scheming up scenarios that ended with the two in her hotel room, get the best of her. She just vowed to herself to keep it casual between the two of them. She'd be totally casual. Still, she was mentally going over how exactly she'd invite him to her room after. Just in case.

Then, she had a sudden thought.

"Wait, if it's just you what about security?"

"What about it?"

She bit her lip.

He stared at her expectantly.

"I dunno. You've always seemed like more of a, um, behind the scenes type guy to me." She confessed before quickly adding. "Not that I think you're like, weak or anything!"

"I am proficient in several types of martial arts and have been professionally trained in multiple countries by the best defense-"

"You only eat sweets!" She interrupted, nodding at a piece of cake he'd produced from the fridge. "The calories in that alone…"

"...Will be burned off by my advanced thinking skills." He finished dismissively. "I am more than capable of making sure you're safe."

She eyed him doubtfully but not wanting to press her luck, held up her hands in defeat.

"Okay, okay, I believe you."

He sighed before turning to Mello, looking resigned. In a flash he secured the knife Mello was toying with and pinned him flat, his face pressed into the cold marble counter top, his arm twisted behind his back.

Mello let out a startled cry and L let him go at once.

"Why the hell did I have to be your punching bag example?" Mello sputtered, rubbing his shoulder. He turned back to her expectantly.

"Are you satisfied? Do you feel more confident in my abilities to keep you safe?"

Misa blinked. More than satisfied she felt a low thrill of desire tying a knot in her stomach. Her imagination went into overdrive, making her feel warm and discomfited. Casual, remember casual! She avoided him, taking another bite of her apple, wiping haphazardly at the juice that escaped down the side of her neck.

"Well?" He asked.

She swallowed and nodded.

"Yep. Totally satisfied."

Even though Facade offered to pay for her flight, L refused point blank to fly commercial, instead insisting that they take a private jet he had access to.

Naomi took her to the airport the following day. The two waited in an upper class lounge near the tarmac. Several tired looking businessmen meandered around the room, shuffling through newspapers. One of them eyed Misa, sauntering over to her to offer his business card. Naomi flashed her badge along with a withering glare until he wandered off again.

Misa chatted with her for a few minutes happily.

"I wish you could come too! I've never done a formal event. They're usually like the one I did the other night. Thank you for letting me borrow your dress by the way, I just wish I could have gotten a better look at it before packing. You think it'll be alright?"

She had to repeat herself several times before Naomi finally turned to her.

"Sorry, what was that?"

Misa frowned. "I was asking about the dress. Are you alright?"

Naomi's eyes followed the movement of a group of baggage handlers loading suitcases onto a conveyor belt outside. She fidgeted with the neck of her cream colored sweater.

"You think me leaving is a bad idea?" Misa suggested when Naomi stayed silent.

"No, it's not that. I actually think it'll be good for you to get away for a few days. It's just…" She looked over her shoulder once before speaking in a lower voice. "I've just had this feeling lately. It's been too quiet. Some of the team thinks your stalker may have moved on to another victim because you're so inaccessible right now."

"You think?" She said hopefully. She hadn't considered that a possibility. Maybe all of the precautions L was taking, along with intercepting the creepy messages and pictures, were too frustrating to work around. He could no longer watch her be afraid. Maybe he was getting bored with her?

"They think so, but I think it's more likely he's working up to something bigger. Maybe even something he's had planned this entire time. I don't have any proof. That's why I haven't brought it up to L yet, but I think he'd agree. I want to do some digging on my own while you're both gone."

"Please be safe." Misa said worriedly. "I don't want you getting hurt on my account."

"Don't worry about me. Just focus on having a nice time."

She sighed and then turned to her with a more relaxed smile. "As for the gown, I never wore it myself because it's a little… risqué for my tastes, but I have a feeling it's exactly what you'll want. I'm sure it'll make quite an impression on…" She looked over Misa's head where they were being waved over.

"It looks like they're ready for you, come on."

Several minutes later Misa was situated across from L, who was already waiting inside the plane.

The moment they took off, he pulled out a laptop, flipping it open and setting it on the tray table on the seat beside him so he could maintain his usual precarious perch. Misa waited for the flight attendant to warn him about sitting safety, but instead she set a tray of sweets beside him and walked away. Obviously a crew that was used to his strange behavior.

She crossed her arms over her chest.

"You know, sitting like that really isn't safe, what if we crash?."

If the flight attendant wasn't going to do her job, she would.

"Plane crashes are exceedingly rare. You're far more likely to die in a motor vehicle accident."

You sit like that in cars too though, she thought. She watched him typing l on the computer, his fingers a flash across the keyboard, pausing only to press pieces of fruit into his mouth. She saw him working late the night before as well.

"Don't you ever take a break?"

"I don't feel the need to."

She grimaced. "When was the last time you went on vacation?"

He paused, picking up a strawberry to nibble at thoughtfully.

"When I was thirteen. Watari took a group of us at the orphanage to the beach one summer."

She imagined him, scrawny and pale, sitting under an umbrella at a sandy beach. He was probably the type to take a book rather than play in the water.

"It's been that long?"

He shrugged. "My work is important. I'd rather keep focused on that."

"That sounds depressing."

Unexpectedly he looked up at her in question. "What about you?"

"Me?"

"Do you go on vacation often?"

"I'm doing this aren't I?"

He inclined his head. "This isn't a vacation. I'm talking about something unconnected to your employment, where you're not being paid to attend a function."

She thought for a moment. Nearly every major trip she'd taken since she was a teenager had been because of her agency. She did go to Hawaii once, her first time overseas, but it too was for a photo shoot.

"I guess it was with my parents too. I think around the same age as you."

"So you see, you're also dedicated to your work."

She rolled her eyes. That really wasn't a fair comparison, seeing as how he caught criminals and she flirted with a camera. She wondered if she should tell him that she didn't get much fulfillment from it beyond being grateful for keeping a roof over her head. She had fun sure, but the truth was, if she took any time for herself it made her feel antsy, like she needed to stay busy to stay sane.

She looked out the window. They passed over puffy clouds far below that cast dark shadows over azure waters and slate colored cities.

"I guess we have that in common, but I think in my case I'm just too afraid to take time off."

"Because of your stalker?"

She shook her head. "Even before all that. It's just, without work, I'm left alone with my thoughts, you know?"

She turned to see him looking at her strangely.

"What?"

"You are the only person you will spend your entire life with, you should try to be good company to be around."

She was startled this sudden advice.

"Does that mean you're good company for yourself?"

"Not at all." He admitted. "But I'm a hypocrite, so at least I don't bore myself."

She laughed and he turned back to his laptop typing again, his face contemplative.

"But I agree. We do seem to have that in common too."

Before she could ask him if he too was scared of being left alone with his thoughts, he cleared his throat. "I need to finish this before we land. It has to do with the security at the hotel."

She nodded, recognizing the, "I'm busy, go entertain yourself now." in his tone. She leaned her head against the window and closed her eyes, wishing for once that she wasn't here for work and that he wasn't either.

By the time they landed, a sleek black car was waiting for them on the tarmac. He escorted her, nodding briefly at the driver who opened the door for them. She shivered as a gust of wind hit her, it was colder there than in Tokyo, being situated so much farther north.

During the drive she kept asking the driver to slow down so she could roll down the windows to look at the foliage. Sapporo was already well into autumn, with gold and russet colored trees passing by in a brightly colored blur. She snapped several pictures with her phone, sending them to Naomi. As they approached the city she could see gentle sloping mountains in the background of the cityscape.

The driver from the front, apparently pleased with her obvious enthusiasm, asked if they wanted to take a small detour to Odori park before checking in, which was famous for its scenic beauty in the fall.

"It's stunning this time of year." He encouraged. "You'd love it miss."

Before she could agree, L cut in.

"We're actually in somewhat of a hurry. Straight to the hotel, thank you."

She deflated. She'd have liked to take a walk in the park, especially now that the sun was beginning to set, dipping the city in warm light.

L however was all business, turning to look out the window, his expression blank. She was hoping he might take some pity on her since she admitted that she hadn't gone on a vacation in a while. And no, this wasn't one but…He could be a little nicer she thought sullenly, picking at her nails.

There would be the hotel, at least, she thought hopefully. Maybe once they got to their room he'd relax a little. They were rarely left alone together recently, with the other members of his team always coming and going. Mello in particular seemed to have a knack for crashing any quiet moment she found with him. She was looking forward to spending some uninterrupted time with him, like they had a few days earlier.

The hotel the gala was being held in was one of the nicest she'd ever been to. It stretched high into the skyline, surrounded outside by more brilliant yellow trees. She noticed signs denoting open air baths available for guests and paused to read it before L wheeled her away, escorting her straight into a mirrored elevator where a concierge waited, welcoming them with a bow.

"I can't even look around?" She grumbled.

"I have a lot to get done tonight. I'd rather get you to your suite."

"But what about checking in?"

"I made arrangements ahead of time."

Of course he did.

The concierge rattled off a list of amenities, including the expansive reception area on first floor where the gala would be held. He tried and failed to make small talk with the bored-looking detective. She kept peeking at the mirrored walls to see if his expression had lightened up, but like the car ride he seemed utterly unfazed by their new surroundings. He gave the concierge a curt nod as they exited.

"Your suite is here, mine is located down the hall."

She tried with difficulty to hide her disappointment. Of course they wouldn't be staying in the same room together, what was she thinking?

"Oh...right."

Misreading her disappointment he clarified.

"If you're concerned about safety, don't worry, I've booked the rooms surrounding this suite. I'm confident it's safe."

She nodded, her mouth set into a thin smile. "Yeah, that sounds fine. Thank you."

"You have nothing in your schedule until tomorrow, correct?"

"I mean, no but-"

"Then, I hope you don't mind taking your dinner from room service tonight. I need to make preparations for tomorrow. Be sure to lock your door. You can call me if you need anything."

"Right." She said with a biting edge to her voice. "I guess I'll just go to bed early. Sounds fun."

"Goodnight then."

He turned and left her alone without another word. Her jaw fell open. She wasn't exactly expecting him to spend the entire time with her, but not even dinner? She turned and entered her room, locking it behind her like he asked.

Inside was just as grand and sleek as the rest of the hotel. The far wall had a wide window with an enormous tub before it showing off sweeping views of the hills and city surrounding. Unfortunately it only reminded her of L's penthouse and she wondered if she just traded one prison for another.

She spent the next day in meetings going over the literary for the gala later. Special emphasis was placed on demeanor. They had to look sexy, successful, like they were having fun.

Like several models from the agency weren't missing under mysterious circumstances.

"Above all else: look optimistic for the future!" One of the event coordinators from the agency said. "Steer any conversations concerning rumors away from the agency. You're to dance and look like you're having a wonderful time."

Misa could read their expression when it lingered on her. You especially.

She was happy to see some of her fellow models approach her excitedly afterwards. Emiko, one of the models she was hired with years before, pulled Misa into a hug, and dragged her to sit with her and a few models from other agencies she hadn't met to eat a late lunch. She was grateful for the company after being secluded all morning and the night before.

"We didn't see you on the plane! I thought you weren't coming."

She smiled apologetically as she settled into her chair.

"I had to take another flight."

"I wouldn't blame you if you didn't come." Emiko said quietly. "Since everything with Kana, your stalker. I hope they figure it all out soon."

One of the other models across the table frowned looking over her shoulder, her face suddenly anxious when she turned back.

"Speaking of which, who is that suspicious looking man back there?"

"Yeah I noticed him during the meeting, does he work here?"

Misa turned curiously and saw L sitting in the back, his laptop set on a table before him as usual.

Emiko looked at Misa and said in a hushed voice: "What if that's him, should we call someone?"

"Oh no, that's Ryuzaki. He's the detective I hired. He's um…my security while I'm here."

"Oh!" She said, clasping a hand over her chest in relief. "I guess you do need that now."

"He's a detective? He doesn't really look like it."

He hadn't looked up or acknowledged them at all, but Misa knew he had probably bugged every square inch of the hotel the night before, and so he was likely listening in on their conversation. According to Naomi, who told her once in secret, he was a master at setting up surveillance. Most of his investigations relied heavily upon it.

"He doesn't does he?" She agreed lightly, taking a delicate sip of water. "He is really weird. Don't worry he won't come over here and bother us; he's always too busy to talk."

"He looks like he just got out bed." One giggled, "Why did you hire him?"

She stopped herself. As much as she wanted to be petty, she couldn't bring herself to talk too badly about him. Not after everything he'd done for her. She sighed.

"He's- he's definitely weird, don't get me wrong, but he's very smart. And I care about him he's-" She struggled for a moment, the words getting mixed up in her mouth. "I mean, he knows what he's doing. I trust him more than anyone."

One of the girls across the table raised an eyebrow. "More than anyone? Really, because I heard a rumor that you were seen alone with our future president last week after a photo shoot."

A hushed gasp rose from the table as everyone turned to gawk at Misa. Her cheeks went red and she took another hasty sip of water to avoid answering.

"He talks to lots of models." Emiko chided. "I bet it was nothing."

"Not like this." The one who brought it up said, leaning to whisper conspiratorially, her manicured fingers raised to her lips. "I heard he took her to a corner alone and was about to kiss her before they were interrupted."

Another bout of giggles erupted, loud enough that other guests at tables nearby looked over at them in disapproval. Misa hushed them, feeling as if her makeup may just melt cleanly off her face from the heat.

"Who told you that?"

"I have my sources."

Misa knew exactly who her sources were. Mello had definitely opened his fat mouth to one of them at the party considering he was the one who walked in on them. She had half a mind to call up Lidner and ask her to beat him for her. She stabbed at her salad while the rest of the models stared at her expectantly.

"Well?"

"Well what?" She said defensively. "Nothing happened!"

They all exchanged disbelieving glances. She couldn't bring herself to turn and look at L. Of all times for him to know exactly what she was saying. He would only be mad that she was alone with him because he was a suspect, not that he cared about any kissing she did.

"Well, I'm interested to see how he'll act around you tonight. I bet he'll dance with you. Can you imagine." She sighed dreamily. "Do you guys talk a lot?"

Emiko spoke up again, saving Misa from answering. "Ryo don't, look how red she is, stop teasing her."

"What? I'm happy for her!" Ryo said, leaning in and motioning to Misa. "I heard someone also saw him in a jewelry store last week too. It's about time one of us have a happy ending, she deserves it most of all with that creep after her. It'll be like a fairy tale."

"Oh-" Emiko frowned down at her phone, her shoulders sagging.

"What is it?"

"I guess we won't see that dance after all. They just sent an email, he's not coming."

"What?"

"He isn't coming. One of the event coordinators texted. They said they're still going ahead with the party though. I wonder why?"

Misa looked down at her own phone. He hadn't messaged her in a few days which she would have found strange if she hadn't been so distracted. She spent the last few days wringing her hands over how it would be to spend time alone with L, she almost forgot who the party was for.

She turned to see him motioning for her.

Misa wiped her mouth and stood up.

"It's going to take me forever to get ready for tonight, I better get going."

She met him in the hall outside the elevator, where he waited for her with a guarded expression.

"Do you talk to him often?"

Just as she thought, he had been listening in.

"No." Her stomach gave a guilty turn. He called or messaged her almost nightly. It was only the last day or so that he hadn't checked in on her.

"I see."

"Does it matter?"

"Yes. If you know why he decided not to show up, I need to know."

"Well he hasn't told me."

He ran a hand through his hair looking frustrated.

"Are you disappointed?" The note of accusation was lost on him however. He bit his thumb and paced for a moment, rambling to himself.

"I was hoping to watch how he interacts with the public when he thinks he's safe. Now I'm stuck here while he's who knows where. I need to contact the team in Tokyo. Maybe I can get a tail on him before his flight lands. I just don't understand why he'd go through all this trouble..."

Stuck here.

With her.

"I'm going to get ready."

He stopped his pacing. "You're still going?"

"Yes." She said stiffly. "I want to go."

"Still?"

He finally caught on to her mood and his expression became wary. Because he has to deal with stupid emotional Misa again. He'd rather be on the next flight out of here.

"You can go, it's fine because I don't need you anymore. It looks like I'm safe here."

"Misa-"

"It's a black tie event." She said, eyeing his wrinkled shirt and worn jeans. "They won't let you in looking like that."

His voice had an edge of warning to it. "I don't have time for you to be-"

"Oh, I'm sure I'll find someone who has time to escort me back to my room." She continued, looking straight ahead as she pressed the button for the elevator. "If you're worried maybe you should put a camera in my room to watch us?"

He'd gone very still listening to her. If she'd gone too far, she didn't care.

She fumed silently as she stepped inside, hitting the button for her floor without looking back at him. When it slid shut she wiped furiously at a few traitorous tears that fell down her face.

Several hours later she held her breath as she pulled the dress Naomi lent her out of its bag, seeing at once why the more modest photographer had never worn it.

It was a sheath of glittering ruby red, backless with a plunging neckline. When she walked the slits that ran to the top of her thighs fluttered open. It was perfect: ostentatious and eye-catching. She knew he'd be cooped up somewhere nearby watching her while he scrambled to assemble everyone back home to see where Light was. She hoped when he did glance her way, he got the best angles because she was determined to look like she was having the time of her life.

She should have known it was useless to deny; there was no being just friends for her. She couldn't be satisfied with that. She wanted all of him, no barriers, no cautious steps forward. That just wasn't her. Not when, if she was being very honest with herself, she'd been tumbling headlong towards those feelings since the day they met. He'd carved out a spot inside of her at seventeen that ached everyday since. The last few months only made it hurt more.

She remembered the night she got hurt, how he held her. Why did it take having her life in danger for him to show he cared? And it still wasn't enough to keep him.

Nearly every man she passed on the way down to the gala took immediate notice of her. She felt their eyes on her; hungry and unabashed. They held doors for her, nearly tripping over themselves to escort her to her table, holding her chair out for her.

She clapped politely for the speeches celebrating Light's accomplishments, how bright the future was with him at the helm. When the announcement came that he'd had been called away on sudden business, she looked properly forlorn, accepting the sympathetic glances from her fellow models who knew it was him she was secretly in love with. She could let the mask slip then, just a peek at the misery beneath where she felt someone else's absence more keenly.

"I heard he took a helicopter back." Someone whispered across the table. "Apparently he was frustrated that he had to leave so early. Still, it was nice of him to let the party go on, look at this place!"

It was beautiful she supposed, with enormous chandeliers, lots of elegantly dressed people, in suits and pretty dresses. Soft music began to play from a band in the corner. Through the glass windows the gardens outside had been illuminated to show off some more of those beautiful golden trees she admired on her way in. It was as extravagant as she expected it to be, though it didn't have quite as deep an impression on her now.

"I wish he could see how nice you look for him!"

Misa tuned back into the conversation to nod sadly on cue.

"I guess I'll just have to find someone else to keep me company."

"I'm not sure there's anyone here like him."

She thought of L and agreed.

While most of her dancing experience hinged on tiny dance floors in sweaty clubs with flashing neon lights, she accepted the very first man to ask her. She let him lead while he did little more than stumble over his words while she batted her lashes up at him.

She flirted with every man who approached her. She listened to them talk without worrying about understanding what they were saying, they certainly weren't listening to her. Her job was to feign interest, to make them forget their words when she smiled up at them, to giggle at every bad joke. She suppressed her shudders when unfamiliar hands grazed her lower back to steer her where they wanted her. Since she was so good at pretending, she pretended she didn't mind.

Midway through the evening she noticed a shadow on the fringes of the crowd, mirroring her movements. She considered herself something of an expert at knowing when she was being followed and so tried to put a face to the stranger.

When between the spaces in the crowd, he came into view, she stopped, feeling her breath catch in her throat because she knew that man, even though he looked completely unrecognizable.

He wore a formal black suit with his dark hair pushed back off his forehead. A few stubborn strands broke free, but the effect wasn't unattractive, just the opposite. His dark eyes scanned the room, until they landed on hers. She looked away at once, feeling alarmed. When she peeked back he was still watching her, raising a glass to his lips.

One of the models she had lunch with earlier approached her, looking back at where he stood.

"Misa is that your detective? He cleans up nice, doesn't he?"

She felt a furious, jealous swell in her chest, glancing back at him. His casual lean against the wall masked his poor posture and compared to some of the more stiffly dressed men around him, he had a carelessly handsome grace to him.

"I guess, but he's weird." Misa emphasized fiercely. "I promise he's not charming at all."

She still eyed him with interest.

"Is he single though? Maybe I'll go introduce myself."

Misa blocked her path, eyes flashing dangerously.

"Actually, you're not going to go near him."

The model walked away looking offended, muttering something along the lines of the president's son not being enough for her.

She was too busy seething to care if she was acting like a bitch. She felt a hot flush work it's way through her body every time she looked over and saw more of his unwavering eye contact. He was supposed to be watching her from some sweaty, cramped surveillance room all night, not there, not so close. Not looking like that.

She was asked to dance again which she accepted at once, grateful to finally move away from him. She did her best to ignore the shadow of his form moving behind strangers faces that blurred together. It didn't help. She could still feel him on her wherever she went, lingering near every conversation, every step, every turn and spin.

Her dance partner pulled her to a corner to talk but she had to ask him to repeat himself. She'd long ran out of endearing words and flirty looks.

"I said, I could help you find some fresh air." He whispered it into her ear. If she was going to take advantage of the night, this was it. This was her chance, here was her willing participant, and nearby her audience waited for her move. She could let this stranger, whose name didn't matter, whose face she'd forget in moments, lead her away and close the curtain behind them.

"No, thank you." She excused herself.

She was a coward after all.

Once she was out of the room she took off her heels as she walked, carrying them in one hand towards the elevator. He followed not far behind.

"Sorry you had to babysit me all night." She spat, her foot tapping furiously. "If it makes you feel any better, you ruined my night. All I could think about was you. Are you happy?"

But when the doors slid open she felt herself being shoved inside. She turned, sputtering with indignation as he smacked the top floor button and turned back to her with something like fire in his eyes.

She didn't understand his insistence for keeping her at arms length, why he played a constant game of push and pull with her. She was about to tell him that she wasn't in the mood to argue or be chastised by him. She could hire some other investigator instead. And she would have told him all of this.

If he hadn't pushed her against the back wall and kissed her.

He pulled back after a long moment to look at her, fingers cradling her head, he faltered for a moment before speaking:

"Yes, I am."
Despite having been furious with him not moments before, she had to work hard to remember what exactly he was responding to as all coherent thought seemed to have been left at ground level as the elevator took off.

He went in for another kiss, this one more eager. Not just eager; but hungry and desperate. He urged her mouth open, tongue sliding along the seam of her lips. She could taste him, warm and slightly sweet along with the bitterness of the alcohol she saw him sipping earlier.

He pulled her against him, simultaneously pressing her into the wall, as if he couldn't get close enough. His hands were clumsy and urgent, running up the front of her dress, over her chest.

She gave a breathy, nervous laugh as he moved down her neck to plant kisses along her collar bone, towards her chest. She raised her shaking hands to his shoulders as he clawed at her waist and hips, worried someone would walk in.

"R-Ryuzaki-I mean L, can't you-"

"No." He muttered darkly against her skin.

He took her wrists, holding them easily with one hand above her head against the wall, with the other he palmed her breasts through the silky fabric of her gown. She gasped, blood rushing hot through her body, causing a rush of wetness between her legs.

"You impede my investigation, you don't listen to me, you lie."

He pulled at the thin straps on her shoulders, untying them so that the front of her gown fell open slightly, revealing peachy skin that flushed at his touch. She whimpered as his thumb traced lightly along an exposed nipple, bending to capture it in his mouth, before giving it a wet tug.

"You don't know how long I..."

His words fell off as he slipped a hand through the slit in her dress, reaching between her legs.

She was a quivering mess now, quickly unraveling as he traced a finger over her panties. He pulled them aside, pressing one finger and then another inside of her while his thumb stroked tortuously slow at her core until she was flushed red and panting. The elevator stopped at the top floor, the doors sliding open once and closing slowly, sending a waft of cool air over the overheated skin he'd exposed. So was so wet and needy, and far behind caring where they were and if anyone would walk in on them, it only added to the excitement. Her hips writhed against his hand as he circled her, steady and addictive, trying to find the rhythm that would send her over the edge.

She turned her head to the mirrored side of the elevator, watching like she was a spectator rather than participant. She couldn't remember the last time anyone had touched her like that, if ever. An inexperienced high school boyfriend maybe tried or one of the rare flings she had when she first began modeling. They'd been clumsy as well, and only too eager to push her to her knees or halfheartedly reach between her legs, like it was an afterthought. By contrast L's slow burning urgency caused a heavy weakness to weave through her limbs, leaving her breathless and impatient.

She watched the woman in the mirror, finding remnants of herself somewhere between the crimson lips that were parted and smudged from kissing and her hair that had come undone from its elegant up-do, falling lopsided over one shoulder. Her dress was tugged low, the rosy peaks of her petite chest only half concealed, threatening to spill out completely as it rose and fell with the undulating movement of her partner.

A far cry from the careful and aloof detective she was used to, the man in the reflection was animalistic; his dark hair having fallen into his eyes, the transfer of her lipstick trailing along one side of his mouth like blood fresh from the kill. He'd taken off the jacket, the sleeves rolled up so that she could see his pale arm working between her wet thighs. No longer in her heels she noticed just how much taller he was than her, curved around looking protective, possessive, his breathing ragged in her ear.

While she was lost in their reflection, his eyes never left her face. There was a fixated intensity in his expression, like he was afraid to look away. She wanted to comfort him somehow, kiss the anxious line from between his brows. She wanted him to let go of her wrists so that she could touch him too, to see if this was real or if it would shatter like glass.

His hand tightened around her wrists almost painfully.

Her legs began to shake, threatening to give out. She turned from the mirror to look up into his eyes. They were blown wide, black with desire, fear, wanting.

Despite being pinned against the wall, she arched up to kiss him again, taking advantage of his parted lips, caressing his tongue with hers.

She shuddered against him and with his ensuing groan she felt her body tense, still, and then crash, her hips grinding against him as she came, feeling her body clamping around his fingers with more whimpering, incoherent cries of his name against his mouth.

His forehead fell against hers for a moment as they both panted. He released her hands from above her, and she slid weakly against the wall, feeling heavy and boneless. This close to him she could feel the hard length of him pressing against her stomach.

Just as she reached for him, they heard noise coming from outside the elevator doors. The sounds of voices accompanied by the low rumble of footsteps approaching.

They both froze and L looked at her for what seemed to be the first time with clear eyes. She saw again the fear that threatened to spill out earlier, now unrestrained. He quickly pulled the straps of her gown up and over her arms, tugging the rest of her dress swiftly back down over her hips. He picked up her shoes from the ground and shoved them into her hands.

"Wait," She started, but he shook his head.

"Go to your room." He said hoarsely, now avoiding her eyes. He backed away, voice burning with regret. "I apologize, I shouldn't have-"

Before she could pull him back or say anything more, the door opened and he disappeared down the hall and out of sight.

The moment L was through the door he slammed it, falling backwards onto the pristine sheets of the hotel bed hard enough to rattle the frame against the wall. Trembling fingers fumbled with his belt and zipper before wrenching his pants down and reaching inside to grip himself with the same hand he'd used to make her come.

His mind was a frantic assault of fresh imagery: Misa's dress falling below her breasts, the flat of his tongue running along her soft skin, the alluring warmth she exuded, how wet she was. Watching her half-lidded eyes roll back as she melted into his hand, his name falling from her lips with a delicate shudder. She was exactly how he feared she'd be: an addictive mix of sweet and soft, body yielding eagerly to his touch.

It was barely a few quick pumps before he came, spilling hot over his fist and stifling the strangled cry he let out with his other hand, biting down hard.

He lay back panting, momentarily unable to hear or process thought. He hadn't meant to do it. He hadn't planned to, at least.

She looked devastatingly beautiful as usual and seeing her dance with other men, watching her smiles land on anyone who wasn't him; He felt a startling bout of that jealous rage he always feared in himself. The type he'd seen other men succumb to and commit a number of monstrous acts that he so carefully kept himself above. She did it on purpose, he knew, he'd always been so careful to ignore her advances, her teasing, knowing exactly where it would lead. He knew she did it to torment him. Frustratingly, it always worked. All of her threats of sleeping with someone else. Be it Light or anyone. It terrified him because someday she'd do it. Someday another man would keep her warm and he'd have to live with it. It was why he stayed away from her in the first place, why make it harder on himself.

"Maybe you should put a camera in my room so you can watch us."

No, he'd probably die first.

But the thought of having her to himself hundreds of miles from prying eyes, whether supportive or disapproving, was tempting. And he always did have such a hard time keeping himself away from temptation.

So maybe he had planned it in a way.

Maybe that was why he took a glass from a passing waiter, taking sips of the bitter drink until he felt it chipping away at his inhibition. He kept careful eye on her all night, feeling himself become more and more agitated. He was tired of keeping himself restrained from her. She wasn't seventeen anymore crying behind a one-way mirror. She didn't only exist between the pages of a magazine that he could shut away. She was real and sweet, and here with him alone and, no matter how superficial the reason was behind it, she wanted him. And he liked it, feeling wanted by her.

And why should he restrain himself now? Now that he'd crossed the line, what was stopping him from taking it even further? He could now vividly imagine how it would feel to be inside her, feel her come around him. She would give it to him willingly. He might just swallow his pride once and for all and accept her sense of obligation when it came to him. He'd be a scumbag and accept the pity fuck, just like he used to. She just didn't know yet, what he really was to her. That her seemingly unending gratitude would one day dry up and she'd see him for what he was. She'd realize, like everyone else did, that anything with him would be volatile, unstable, not worth pursuing, especially not for her.

He slapped a hand to his forehead. There he went again, veering dangerously close to self-pity.

Right now, despite hoping that if he got himself off he'd feel more clear headed, he only wanted her more. If he went to her, she wouldn't turn him away. She'd open her door for him like she always did, and he could worry about what happened after it closed later.

Another bout of excitement stirred inside him again, over taking the shame and hesitation. He sat up, his head swimming, his chest tight. He needed to act before he convinced himself to stop.

But as if a higher power wisely conspired against him, his phone lit up silently from beside him on the bed. He could easily ignore it, were it not an SOS from Watari. A sudden feeling of foreboding ran across his skin, chasing away the remnants of desire from before, leaving him numb. He flipped the phone open, and answered.

Misa leaned against the door inside her room, still flustered and half dressed, clutching the front of her dress to her chest, trying to comprehend everything that just happened. Her thoughts drifted back to his expression, and wondered what it was about her that made him look so full of regret? Was it because he'd been drinking? Was it something she did?

She went to the bathroom, turning on the faucet to splash her face with cold water, taking a rag to remove the smudged lipstick. Looking at herself in the mirror she saw a dark mark he'd left on the base of her throat and remembered something he said.

"You don't know how long I..."

She brought a hand up to the mark, feeling her pulse drum erratically beneath it. How long?

She let her dress fall to the floor, stepping into the shower. There would be no going back after tonight. Not for her. She wondered if he'd try. If when they got back would he pretend he never touched her, if he'd go back to his usual cold detachment, holding her at arms length.

But she wouldn't forget a single moment. She couldn't. Not the hungry look in his eyes, like he wanted to devour her. Nor how it felt to be so close to him, to feel wanted by him. She wanted to go to him now, barge her way in his room and knock him back onto his bed just so he'd lose control all over again.

She wished he let her touch him too.

A knock at her door interrupted her thoughts. She turned off the water, quickly stepping out and grabbing a towel to wrap around herself.

She hesitated at the door, peeking through the peephole to see L waiting outside. Her heart leapt.

She stood back to open it for him.

"I'm so glad you came." She said breathlessly, "We should probably talk about-"

She stopped, seeing his somber expression.

"Pack your things."

She felt a hitch in chest, her throat tight. "If…if it's something I did you can tell me. It's been a long time since I've done anything like that so maybe I did something wrong or-"

"No, Misa."

She stood before him shivering. Rivulets of water from the shower sat in beads on her skin, but nothing chilled her more than the next words from his mouth:

"They've found a body."