Honey you're familiar like my mirror years ago

Idealism sits prison, chivalry fell on it's sword

Innocence died screaming, honey ask me I should know

I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door

Hozier, From Eden

Soft rain drummed on the white tent they stood under, erected to keep the body safe from the elements. She was nestled there between a trash can and vending machine. L leaned in to get a better look.

The pale arms crossed over her lap had spidery blue veins beginning to show through the translucent skin, crawling up towards her shoulders and disappearing beneath the ruffled sleeves of her blouse. She leaned against the concrete wall, her head on her shoulder as if she'd just settled herself there and nodded off. In her hands she held one, vibrant red rose, the stem of which was snapped in half.

"Decomposition isn't late stage. This was recent according to what the medical examiner told me." Naomi said, crouching down to get a closer look as well. Her gloved hands carefully held back the dark curtain of the woman's hair to get a better look at her. On her neck, plum colored bruises peeked out from beneath a black leather collar with lace applique. "She was taken care of, relatively speaking, before death. He must have kept her for quite a while. The collar is decorative. I doubt it's what he used to keep her from getting away."

"He cleaned her face."

"How do you know?"

He nodded at the ground beside her, where two used and crumpled wipes lay discarded. Flecked beneath her eyes were the remnants of mascara, hastily applied by an inexperienced hand. Considering how clean the rest of scene was, this stood out to him. She has to look perfect because she's on display.

"He may have been interrupted. Whether or not he killed her here is hard to say."

Naomi sat back on her heels looking up at him in question.

"Do you think that he meant for Watari to find her?"

"Maybe."

In reality he was almost certain: it was no minor coincidence that it was Watari who found her at all. Anyone watching the building closely enough, like he knew her stalker was, would know that the old man had a reliably consistent schedule. Each morning he left the apartment to grab a paper from a news stand around the corner and a pastry from the bakery down the street. That morning he wasn't simply unlucky; he was chosen.

"Have you spoken to him yet?"

"Not yet."

Watari had been dealing with the police all day and was only able to make a brief call to L later that evening. He called an ambulance first, even though he must have known it was too late. No doubt personal experience weighed heavily on his mind when he happened across her. Whether or not the stalker knew this set L's mind into a whirl. That may actually be a coincidence, but he couldn't be sure.

"You still think it's Light Yagami?" She asked pulling off the latex gloves and placing them inside a plastic bag. "I kept track of him the entire time you were gone, right up until he came back. He went straight to the agency and into his office. No other stops."

He shouldn't have been surprised that she'd gone behind his back to do her own sleuthing. He swallowed back his reprimands because without her he'd be worse off.

"He's very good at hiding his tracks." He explained. "He has experience with information security. He dabbled in it before working at his fathers company. Why he gave it up I don't know, but he may still possess those skills and utilize them frequently in order to evade notice."

"You'll have to find something else to prove it's him then." She said doubtfully. "I'm not saying I don't believe you, but so far we've only been trusting your gut on this. We might need more help."

He considered for a moment letting her in on the fact that it wasn't just him looking into Light, and in fact he had reached out for assistance weeks before. It was only from that help that he was able to obtain a chunk of Light's browsing history, enough to learn about his taste in pornography at least. It wasn't much, but it was enough to confirm some of his suspicions.

But as much as he trusted Naomi as a detective, he knew anything he confided would end up going straight to Misa. She didn't share his desire to be selectively open with the model and so he stayed silent.

A dull ache pulsated along his temple. Whether it originated from Misa or the alcohol the night previously, he wasn't sure. Keeping her close and distracted from Light turned out to be harder than he thought. Harder because it was easy. It was easy to give in to her because he'd wanted to for so long. But it quickly became apparent that his careful balancing act would soon crumble if he wasn't more careful. He couldn't give her everything she claimed to want.

"What about Mikami." He asked. "Any sign of him?"

"None. It's like he disappeared off the face of the earth after attacking her."

His arrest records were full of petty theft offenses and extensive loans taken out in his name. Mikami struck him as a man in desperate need of cash. He was just a pawn, but one that could be paid off if need be. If he could find him he'd promise any amount of money to get him to speak out against who hired him.

After that, he didn't care if he did disappear off the face of the planet for what he did to Misa. Naomi seemed to agree.

"If I ever do get a hold of him-"

Her phone went off, interrupting whatever undoubtedly colorful revenge she had planned for him. She reached into the pocket of her leather jacket and answered promptly.

"Yes. We're just about done here, thank you again." A flicker of irritation crossed her features for a moment before she responded. "Yes, I look forward to it."

She hung up with a long exhale.

"Times up. They want us out of here."

Naomi was able to keep the body out there until he flew in, securing him a few precious minutes to take a look for himself. He knew they'd be annoyed by it, there was nothing like a body being found in broad daylight on the street to draw unwanted attention and press, but incidentally when a prettier detective made the request, the rules relaxed.

He stared down at the woman for a moment. He was disciplined enough to know that staying objective was crucial in these cases. Usually he had no problem. But now, it wasn't hard to imagine Misa lying there instead. Blood pooling beneath her pale skin. Lavender lids pressing her dark lashes closed forever. Or perhaps they'd be open, glassy and opaque staring up at him in accusation because he failed her.

"I knew you'd come."

Or worse she'd die looking at him like that.

He thought of Watari too, who undoubtedly saw the ghost of a different woman lying there. His stomach did an uneasy flip. He had too much on his plate to go digging too far into the past. Not now, not when his focus was already being stretched to its limit.

"Thank you for arranging this." He said, forcing himself to turn away before the body morphed into someone else. They left the covered tent, opening a black umbrella for her after ducking under the yellow tape to get back out to the street. "I realize I'm not popular within the precinct right now. I'm breaking too many rules for their liking."

She nodded. "I might have promised to go on a date with Penber in exchange for the favor but I'll deal with that later."

They watched as a team went in, disappearing for a few minutes before reappearing with a black zippered bag, wheeling it into the back of a white van. He kept a careful eye on the curious crowd that gathered to peek in at the scene. Reporters had been milling around most of the morning, setting up camera equipment just outside the yellow line.

"I knew he was working up to something worse." Naomi commented grimly. He noticed her eyes scanning the crowd as well. "Matsuda and Aizawa, they kept saying he gave up. I knew there was something else. He left that poor woman there as a threat to Misa. The rose, how he staged her." She shook her head in disgust. "He's a monster."

"He's not being as careful." L said, shifting the umbrella as the rain began to fall harder, watching reporters scramble to pull their own up to shield themselves. "It just shows how frustrated he is that he can't get to who he wants most."

"And he's never going to." She vowed, her voice dark with promise.

"No," L agreed lightly. "He's not."

Watari currently stayed in the apartment a floor down from L's, connected by private elevator. It was similarly decorated with European furniture that looked so out of place in the modern style building, but unlike L's apartment it felt more lived in and friendly. It reminded Misa of a library the way he'd crammed in a several large and overstuffed bookshelves. His kitchen too looked like it got more use than L's. He had a jumble of older appliances sitting on the counter top next to a rotating spice rack. A copper kettle sat on the stove, currently emitting copious clouds of steam and whistling insistently while Misa grabbed two mugs from a cabinet.

Late evening brought no reprieve from the rain. It fell dense and unremitting throughout the day, pressing pale fog into the windows before receding into grey storm clouds, accompanied by the occasional low roll of thunder. Rather than confining herself to L's cold and lonely apartment she made a point to visit Watari the moment he returned from the police station.

He sat in a wing-back chair, looking down at a book in his lap under the warm glow of an old lamp. She walked in, carefully holding two cups of tea. He smiled at her as she entered, but his eyes didn't quite light up like they usually did.

She held up the steaming mugs uncertainly.

"I thought you might want to have some tea with me? I didn't add a ton of sugar like L does."

"That sounds lovely, thank you."

She set it down on the table beside him. As she did, she noticed the book he had wasn't a book at all, but a photo album. Beneath the yellowed cellophane screen she saw a pretty dark haired woman sitting on a swing set before he closed it, setting it aside. He looked over at her in concern as she curled up on the love seat opposite him, blowing steam from her cup.

"Are you feeling alright?"

His expression held in it a paternal worry that caused her throat tighten unexpectedly.

"I don't know." She said honestly. "I don't know what I'm feeling right now. I didn't know her well. I only worked with her a few times but..."

She sipped on the tea to give herself an excuse not to say any more. She guessed she was supposed to feel afraid. Somewhere underneath the numb layers of shock and worry, fear lived there too.

"What about you?" She asked. "I heard that it was you who found her. I can't imagine how that must have been."

"It was the second time in my life I've happened across that terrible scene. I was hoping to never see it again."

"It-it wasn't the first time?" She asked alarmed.

"No, unfortunately not."

A clock nearby ticked and outside the rain continued its steady spray at the windows. She couldn't help but ask.

"What happened the first time?"

His weathered face stretched into a sad smile.

"I wouldn't want to burden you with it. Not after everything you've been through."

"I think that just proves I'm strong enough to handle it." She said lightly. "You're always listening to me. It might make you feel better."

He nodded thoughtfully, taking a long, slow sip of tea. It reminded her of L. The silence stretched on and she wondered if she was over stepping her boundaries. He removed his glasses, rubbing his forehead. Then he spoke.

"I never married." He began quietly. "I've never had much family either. But my sister, she left behind a daughter before she passed, my niece, she was nearly an adult by then but I watched over her all the same." He paused to smile warmly at her. "You remind me of her, actually. She too was kind, thoughtful, perhaps a little too impulsive at times. Always striving to see the good in others."

"She fell in love with the wrong sort of man. He was brilliant certainly, but he had his demons. I think she may have felt like she could fix him. I never told her how I felt. I didn't want to interfere. More than that, I didn't want her to shut me out if I said I disapproved. I was afraid, you see. She had her own life, her own family, but she was almost all I had left in the world."

He heaved a heavy sigh.

"There were times he kept her from talking to anybody, long stretches of time. He was a jealous man. It always made me anxious. One day I went to check on her after not hearing from her for a few days. That's when I found them. He killed her and then himself." His eyes were vacant, looking at a place she couldn't see. "It was the worst day of my life. There is no getting used to it. Nor the regret that comes after. Feeling as if I could have done something to prevent it. She wasn't my child but I felt like I failed her."

"Oh, Watari that's awful." She said, her voice hushed, eyes wet with tears. "You shouldn't blame yourself for that at all."

"But I did. It was a hard lesson to learn; that I needed to be honest about how I felt, even if I risked ending up alone."

Her heart ached for him. She knew that pain intimately.

"You're not alone now though." She said softly.

He smiled, one that warmed his features once more. "No, and I wasn't alone for long after that. I'm sure my taking over an orphanage is no surprise to you now is it? I bet my sons think me a sentimental old fool."

Misa shook her head. "I think that shows that Watari is the best father."

His smile was watery and he looked away blinking rapidly.

L had comforted her after her parents were murdered. She too felt like she could have done more. He hadn't necessarily been warmly comforting, not in the traditional sense (she could imagine his horror if she had tried crying in his arms) but it was exactly what she needed. Even now she had a tendency to get lost in herself, spiraling into grief. Sometimes his frank and practical nature could cut through the clouds of angst that hung over her.

Though, at that moment, she wished she could find comfort in his arms.

She cleared her throat.

"Was it because I reminded you of your niece that you asked him to take my case back then?"

"Oh, I didn't see the similarities between you two until much later. He decides on his own what he wants, but I had a feeling once he learned about your situation he'd take it."

She frowned. "I wonder why?"

He let out another heavy sigh. "That is a good question. One that I think you should ask him yourself someday."

She had a hard time imagining how that conversation would go.

"You should know that I've always been on your side." Watari commented. "You are good for him. I apologize for his stubbornness, he gets that from me I'm afraid."

He stood with pained groan. "I think I'd like some rest now. Thank you for speaking with me, you were right, it helped. And I believe my other good son can make sure you make it back upstairs safely."

She turned to see Mello watching them from where he leaned against the wall. He jerked his head at her to join him. She said goodnight and followed him warily.

She wondered how much of the conversation he'd heard, and braced herself for whatever snide comment he would toss her way as soon as they left his apartment.

Instead of giving her a hard time however, he held out a bar of chocolate.

Her eyes flicked from him to the candy uncertainly.

"I don't know…"

"I'm trying to be nice." He emphasized, waving it in front of her face. "Just take it. You won't get fat from one bar."

She accepted, still feeling suspicious. "It's not poisoned is it?"

He looked back at her, his expression appalled. "Poison chocolate? That's sacrilege."

They made their way upstairs to L's apartment. She peeled back the gold foil and took a small bite, leaning on the cold marble island in the kitchen while he rummaged through the fridge.

"I remember when he took your first case." He said unexpectedly. "I asked if we could help him with it but he said no."

"Huh? Really?" She said surprised. "Wait, you would help him with his cases?"

He nodded, chucking a moldy container of strawberries into the trashcan nearby.

"You and your other brother, Near? I think that's his name? L said he was really smart too."

He looked annoyed for a moment but rolled his eyes, setting a carton of juice on the counter.

"He is sometimes." He conceded. "L always talked about taking one of us on as a partner when we got old enough to help full time with cases. He'd ask for our input, to test us. That was the first case he didn't want our help on, that's why I remember it."

She couldn't help but feel shocked and could hardly imagine L really asking two kids for help. Especially since she knew he worked on some high profile cases.

"You're old enough now though aren't you?" She asked curiously. "How come he hasn't made you a partner?"

"Well, he was about to make a decision...until he flew back here to help you again."

She pursed her lips. That explained his open hostility towards her when they first met. She supposed if she had been waiting on something important like that she might be a little resentful too.

He opened the juice, drinking straight from the carton, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

"Yep."

They rarely had a conversation that wasn't brimming with sarcasm or insults. If she didn't know any better she might think he felt bad for her. And despite him telling her she was the reason he wasn't made a partner, he didn't seem all that upset with her.

"Is that what you're waiting on then? For him to ask you?"

He shut the fridge slowly. "Actually I've been thinking-" He paused to level a ferocious glare at her. "And if you laugh at me when I tell you this I'll throw you out the window, I mean it."

Unfazed, she waited for his answer.

"I'm kind of…liking the whole modeling thing."

She gasped, clapping a hand over her mouth in delight.

"Really?"

He glared at her again and she held back her smile. She was the first to grudgingly admit that he was a natural at it. He had exactly the type of look modeling scouts were after. His whole edgy and cocky thing was pretty popular. He might have a little too much cockiness in her opinion, but still she couldn't remember a time he didn't enter a room looking like he'd just stepped off the runway.

"Which reminds me, I was sent the pictures from our shoot together." He pulled out a folder from a leather bag sitting on the counter and spread them out for her to look at.

"They cut off my head in some of them." He muttered, looking annoyed.

She hopped up on the counter, legs swinging as she rifled through them. Most were, unfairly in her opinion, focused on her. Showing off the suggestive dresses and lingerie, the outfits getting progressively more skimpy and bare. She paused on one of Mello standing over her, looking every bit like a petulant angel with his halo of golden hair and evil smirk. She grinned.

"But the ones they didn't look really good!" She said, beaming over at him encouragingly. "Maybe you do have a knack for this."

"Yeah. It's not bad. I've gone to a couple of shoots on my own now." He said with a wistful grin. "Even Lidner thinks I'm good at it and she never compliments me." His smile fell slightly. "But L might think I've lost my mind when I tell him. I might have because it'll mean giving up my spot to Near." He finished with a pained grimace.

"Misa-Misa will just have to cheer you on then." She said brightly, ruffling his hair. He rolled his eyes, smacking her hands away.

The smile slipped from her face when looked up and saw L watching them. She hadn't heard him come in, too busy enjoying for a moment a world where the most pressing concern was a career change.

His eyes slid from her position on the counter to Mello who leaned against it casually.

"How is Watari?"

"He's alright. He went to sleep already." Mello answered and then bent down to take an enormous bite from the chocolate bar still in her hands.

"Ah, hey!"

"You'll get fat if you eat those." He said nodding at it and walking past L with a yawn. "Think I'll sleep at Watari's tonight. Later."

She watched him leave, feeling a little better about their relationship, like they'd turned a corner. He may have even left to give her and L some privacy. She wished he'd stayed instead. At least then the tension and dread wouldn't feel so suffocating.

She felt hyper aware of his awkward movements, the shift from leg to leg, the glances that didn't quite meet her eyes.

She took a deep breath, her hands tangled, twisting in her lap.

"Well?"

"I don't have all the information yet. They'll be preforming an autopsy tomorrow."

"But it might not have been him?" She pressed. "We don't know if it was my stalker do we? Not for sure?"

"He left a rose."

Her shoulders fell. She had a little hope left in her that it was a terrible coincidence, that maybe it was unconnected to her. What message was he trying to send with it? That she was next? That someone else would be? She felt the despair she'd held at bay all day breaking through her voice.

"What do I do now then?"

"There's nothing for you to do. You'll stay here where you're safe."

"What happened to me living life like normal? I can't just stay here forever, I'm doing everything else you've asked!"

His expression went unexpectedly cold when he responded.

"But you don't do everything I ask."

"You lie." Echoed in her head. Given that she was a little distracted by his actions the night before to care about what he meant, it wasn't hard to guess now. It was obvious: he'd always been listening in. He knew about her conversations with Light.

"Why didn't you tell me that he found out about your parents?"

"Well-I-" She stuttered, trying to think of a good enough excuse. There wouldn't be one he'd be happy with. "He's so high up in the agency now, it's probably easy to for him learn that stuff, I don't see the big deal."

"Why do you still talk to him?"

She squirmed under his stare. The truth was that she liked the attention he gave her. She liked how much he wanted her, all the promises he made, even if she didn't quite return the feelings. It felt good to be so openly desired for once.

"If you've listened to our conversations, then you already know why." She muttered. "I'm lonely."

He let out a small scoff of disbelief. She'd seen the same switch in him the night prior, how he seemed more easily prone to anger. She could sense the edge of tension that ran through him, strung taut and wound tight.

She wanted him to snap again.

He was feeling frustrated and when he felt frustrated his mind wandered, and when his mind wandered he was useless.

His eyes fell to her pajamas that were distractingly skimpy. Her tank top was pale pink and tight, nearly see through. Her shorts were tiny, almost indecently so, riding up her thighs as she sat on the marble counter top. He sent up a grateful prayer that Mello wasn't attracted to her. Though when he walked in on them they were acting friendlier than he preferred.

Unbidden came memories from the night before causing his nails to dig into his palms. Not now. He just finished examining the body of her coworker in the street, he spent the rest of the day pacing and going over the information he'd gathered with the team, listening to the recordings of her conversations with Light. The flattery he poured over her was nauseating enough without having to listen to her giggling responses.

Ignoring his own desires, it was quite literally the worst time to touch her again. Even if he could imagine how easy it would be to bend her over the counter, pull down those tiny shorts, and fuck every thought of Light Yagami from her mind.

"Do you regret it?"

Her soft voice cut into his lurid thoughts and he gave a guilty start, answering without thinking.

"Yes."

Because he did. Now that he'd gotten a taste of her he only wanted more. It made being near her even more excruciating and worse later when he was done there and moved on.

She looked so pained. Why could he only afford brutal honesty? You caused this, he reminded himself, that's all you give her. That's why you need to stay away.

"But I would do it again."

He hated the doleful note of longing in his voice and half hoped she wouldn't recognize it. It was that same magnetism that always drew him closer to her, so that he now stood in front of her legs that hung over the counter, without remembering precisely how he got there. He could see her breathing, how it quickened, the expectant look in her eyes.

This is just more distraction, he reasoned vaguely as he ran his hands up her smooth thighs. They were soft but cold in the chilled air and he wanted to find a way to warm her. She's lonely.

Her hazel eyes had already fluttered shut. He lifted her chin, running his thumb over her lower lip.

I'm just doing my job.

He leaned in but stopped when his eyes fell upon the pictures scattered across the counter next to her. He frowned, pulling one towards him.

"When did these get taken?"

"Huh?" She looked dazed for a moment before looking down beside her. "Oh! Um, a couple weeks ago, why?"

"Who ordered them?"

"I don't know. Probably some clothing company. I just show up for the pictures, what's wrong?"

He picked up the one nearest, looking at it intently.

She wore a mess of leather straps, that encircled her body, leaving bits of soft skin exposed. Her expression was contrastingly demure compared to her provocative position between his brothers knees. Ignoring the irritation that visual flared up, he followed the curving line of the leash he held in one hand until it ended in a distinct black collar, leather with lace appliqué, fastened around her delicate throat.

The very same one he'd seen on a corpse that morning.

Just a reminder that i'm more active on ao3 and tumblr (both the same username!)