Summary: Kagome has always felt like something is wrong with Kikyou. Kikyou starts to hang out with her, for one reason or another. Pull your enemies closer than your friends right? Kagome watches from the sidelines as this new girl starts to talk about Inuyasha in ways she can't stand. Based off of my friendship with someone else.

Rated M because of the way Kikyou talks. That's the main reason why...

- Kagome: This is me! I'm 14 in the beginning of the story, and, still a freshman. Blech.
- Kikyou: My so-called-friend, Megan. Everytime she speaks, she manages to gross me out. She's 14 in the beginning and a freshman.
- Inuyasha: My friend, Chris. Even though I like him, he'll never know it. Freshman in high school and 14 in the beginning.
- Miroku: My friend, Patrick. Even though I beat him over the head a lot, Patrick is usually very sweet and tries to keep his hands to himself. Freshman in high school and 15 in the beginning.
- Sango: My friend, Miranda. She's really nice and tends to mess up things. Usually phrases that she combines to sound stupid. She's 14 and a freshman in the beginning.

Sorry for not updating, ya'll. I have a few problems. The first was that I had caught up with msyelf. The second was that I am currently grounded from touching the computer for 80 days (I think this is day 6). Even though I'm not s'posed to be on, my awesome daddy let me on. I will try to update more. I AM SO FRIGGIN SORRY!

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Confusion With Love
Chapter Five- Vanishing Act

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So, I'd just learned about the dark side of Kikyou. Sure, she seemed innocent and cute with her style, but she wasn't. She was a sex-driven woman. That's a bit further from the truth, but I couldn't help it. What would you do if you just found out the nasty side of someone who wanted to be your best friend?

Keep you friends close, but pull your enemies closer.

Damn. I didn't want to be pulling Kikyou closer to me. I didn't want her within a mile of me, either. She was just repulsive, and I had no desire to be with her. Back to my previous question; what do you do if you find out the nasty side of someone you don't like?

Well, perhaps it's not a real question. I didn't have anyone to ask. Everyone was in the lunch-time group, and I was no longer able to talk to them. Sango was nice, but she would interrogate me until I told her. Then she'd tell Inuyasha and I'd be the cause of a broken relationship. That was the last thing I wanted.

Sure, I didn't like Kikyou or the things she said. That may have been true, but I wanted Inuyasha's happiness. If he liked her, then I'd come to grips with it. I'd watch them build a relationship, while I sat on the sidelines and watched. I could handle it. If I could handle life without Kouga, my previous boyfriend, then I'd handle this.

So, that left Miroku to talk to and get advice from. As nice as he was, he was named 'pervert' for a reason. If I were to have told him, he'd just root the girl on. Even worse, he'd ask for her name and phone number. I didn't want him knowing that I was talking about Kikyou. He wouldn't believe it, or he'd tell Inuyasha about it and the relationship would be ruined.

As nasty as Kikyou was, I was still aiming for Inuyasha's happiness. If Inuyasha liked women who seemed innocent and were far from it, then I wouldn't try to change his mind. Even though I liked him a lot, I wasn't going to be the one to ruin it so I could protect him or have him for myself. I guess I thought that no matter who the girl is, I shouldn't interfere. Even if I felt like breaking her foundation-smothered nose.

So, I watched. I sat against the wall in gym class, and watched everyone mingle with each other. Kikyou rarely laughed, I noticed that. She would just stare when a joke was made. She never even understood the jokes, even though they were probably funny. She just wasn't smart, or didn't care enough to laugh.

Everytime Miroku would grab Sango's ass, she'd hit him. Then Sango would go on her usual rant over Miroku being a pervert. Kikyou would give her head a tilt, acting innocent, and ask how he was being a pervert. Perhaps she really was stupid. But, honestly, she must've only thought about sex.

I'd watch sadly as Inuyasha would kiss her. Sometimes he'd start kissing her neck and making out with her. Then Sango's fist would cover her mouth and she, probably, cleared her throat. They'd keep talking, just as if it was a normal show of affection for them. I guess it was. No one knew what it did to me.

I spent the first two weeks in attempt to be their friend. Ten lunches, I tried to sit there and act like I was fine. I tried to act like everything was okay. But things were far from okay. Inuyasha being with this girl was eating me alive. I couldn't deal with it. So, slowly, I pulled a vanishing act on all of them.

I backed off. I would talk to them for a while, then make up an excuse on why I had to leave. Inuyasha always looked sad to see me go, but I didn't want to stay.

I had a problem. When life got hard on me, I felt like I couldn't breathe. Like I had walls pushing in at me from every side. So, I had to learn to cope. I would cut myself with a knife. My mom had already caught me a year ago and I told her I would stop. I did. I didn't put a knife to my skin.

Until Inuyasha was with Kikyou. I couldn't stand it. I couldn't say anything, because I wouldn't have been able to stand them not being together because of me. I should have said something, but I didn't. I wouldn't let myself tell anyone else my opinion. Not even my mother.

Before, my mother and I had been close. Then I got scared that she'd know what I was doing to myself. I was afraid that being around her too much would make her aware of the eleven cuts on my upper arm. The cuts that my shirts didn't hide. I wore jackets all the time, even at home. If I got hot, I rolled the sleeves up. I didn't take it off.

So, my mother and I had distanced and I was no longer able to talk to her about things. Sure, I told her about how my day at school went, but that wasn't enough. I had to tell someone what I was fighting with. Someone had to know about my internal war. But no one would listen, or was biased too much to listen.

That was the point I started to drown myself. I would do so much poem-writing, I would neglect a shower. I stopped taking care of myself. I would hardly eat. I'd have one meal for two days. My depression was killing my appetite. In turn, that was ruining my immune system. Then I started getting sick a lot.

I stayed home from school the entire week, staring at the computer screen blankly. There was nothing to do. No one I wanted to talk to would be online. They were all healthy, happy, and in school. My mom was there, but she was trying to work. She wasn't happy that I was still awake. She wanted me to sleep to get better.

Sleeping was hard. I could try to sleep as much as I wanted, but I never could. I would stay awake for hours before sleep finally came. I started trying to wear my body out more, just so I could sleep faster. That didn't help either. I had a bad case of insomnia, and there was no possible cure.

I walked downstairs that night, tierd and miserable. It was nearly midnight, and I was going to work the next day. I cleaned a house for someone on Saturday mornings. If I couldn't get to sleep, I wouldn't be able to clean very well.

"Mom... I can't sleep." I complained ot my mother.

"Well... Have you taken NyQuil?" She asked me.

"Yes. I took the rest of it, since there was only enough for a dose. Took that three hours ago." I told my mother. She bit her lip and contimplated my problem.

"Well... Wait here." She told me. I sat down in her computer chair as she left the room. A few moments later, she came back with a Jack Daniels.

"Drink this." She ordered me to do. I got out of her chair then sat in another, looking closely at the alcohol.

"Why? Jack Daniels... This is alcohol, isn't it?" I questioned her. My mom nodded her head then looked at me.

"Yes, it is. When you drink it, it'll calm your body down. Should put you asleep." My mom told me. I opened the cap of the alcohol then sniffed it. Perhaps it was just me, but I couldn't smell anything. I took a large swallow, and instantly regretted it.

I started gagging the second after I swallowed it. My throat burned and the stuff tasted nasty. Sure, they claim that it's a tropical flavor. It's anything but tropical. That stuff made my throat feel like it was being held over a burner. It was burning so badly, and I couldn't do anything to make it stop. Drinking water wouldn't even be able to calm the burning down.

"Mom, this stuff burns and it's nasty!" I complained. My mom didn't even turn away from her computer. She continued to type things to someone in an email that I had no interest in seeing.

"Well, drink it. It'll help you sleep." She told me. I drank the stuff reluctantly and then threw the bottle away. I went back upstairs, got into bed, and passed out.

The following week was just as bad as the first few had been. Monday I didn't watch them. I walked by, and no one even recognized me. I no longer existed in their world. I was just another faceless person to them.

I wanted Kouga back. Kouga was always sweet t o me, and I would be able to hug him right now. He'd listne to me, even if I interrupted a good conversation between him and his friends. He would be readyto listen and he would want to listen. But he started going out with Ayame a week after we broke up.

Perhaps he just felt as though he needed someone to care for after I was gone. I was so afraid of catching someone on the rebound, I didn't even look at boys in a dating way. I didn't even think about getting a boyfriend for several months. Three months, to be exact. During those three months, I moved.

Now the boy I liked was taken by a witch. She was evil, but I was the only one who saw it. I was the only one who was aware of her dark side. My friends thoguht she was so sweet an innocent. They didn't even see the real her. I knew I wasn't crazy. I had heard her say those things.

Gym class came again. I wasn't looking forward to it, since it was block day. That meant two hours in a class with the girl who pushed me away from my friends.

"Hey, Kagome!" Kikyou called to me. Before I could be with Eri, Ami, and Yumi, she had called to me. I guess that meant that I was to hang out with her for the two hours. And I thought two hours of being in P.E was bad. Spending two hours with the whore was even worse.

"Hi, Kikyou." I greeted absently. I was more concerned on things that I could use as an excuse. I could tell her that I had to go, and pretend to throw up. Or I could act like I hurt myself badly. Unfortunately, I knew that none of those options would work.

"Guess what!" Kikyou asked me. I stared at her for a while and zipped my navy blue jacket up.

"What?" I wasn't interested in the information she was going to give me. I was never interested in whatever she wanted to talk about. Why, you ask? I assumed it would be obvious. She only talked about stuff that I hadn't experienced.

"My mom just got me some another hamster." She blurted. What a relief. I was afraid that she'd say something about the new dildo she bought. I don't know if she got one, but I wouldn't be surprised if she did.

"Another hamster? How many pets do you have?" I questioned rudely. There's only one thing that I hate more than a perverted girl...

"I have a cat, two dogs, twelve fish, and three hamsters." She told me. To finish my thought. There's only one thing that I hate more than a sex-crazed girl. It's a girl who is so absorbed in money. I feel very jealous. My family has never had enough money for us to live comfortably. In fact, taking care of my cat can be a stretch on our money sometimes. And this girl has enough money to support all those animals AND get more? Ugh.

"Wow." I managed to mutter. Sure enough, the teacher released us for gym. I was going to retreat to my friends that I hang out with during gym. But, once Kikyou starts talking to you, there is no chance that you have of getting away. So, we sat down under a tree inthe P.E area. I was dreading the words she had to say to me.

"Hey, did you hear that I had oral sex, once?" She asked me. I gagged. I knew what oral sex was, but I wasn't expecting her to talk about that. She looked at me like I had a giant booger hanging from my eyebrow.

"What's wrong? Do you need to go to the nurse? Do you need your inhaler?" She asked.

"I'm fine. Just... choked on my own spit is all." I slowly told her.

"Alright then... Well, you wanna hear about it?" She asked me. I made a point in not answering and started looking at our useless tennis courts.

"I was at a resort with my parents. I met this really hot guy. We started making out and, he gave me oral sex. It feels so wonderful, Kagome." Kikyou said. I groaned inaudibly and tried to act more mature. High school was supposed to be a time of growing up. I was trying to grow up.

"Alright..." I managed to say.

"Hey, did you know that Winter Formal is coming up?" She asked.

"Yeah."

"I was going to get Inuyasha to take me. He'll have to pay for my ticket, though."

"The tickets are fifty dollars, Kikyou. How can he afford them?" I questioned.

"I don't know. He'll probably have to beg his parents for money." She giggled. I couldn't believe that she expected him to pay fifty dollars on her. She wasn't even showing sympathy for his situation! If I were in Inuyasha's place, I would notice that something wasn't right.

"Then, I'm going to break up with him in April." She said.

"Why in April?" I asked. I was surprised on how well I controlled my shock.

"Because that's when my birthday is. I'm going to have him take me to winter formal and have him give me a gift. Then I'm going to dump him." She admitted. I was entirely shocked and my mouth dropped open.

"Don't you think that's a little harsh?" I let myself ask.

"No, not really. I like him and everything, but not as boyfriend material." She said. Suddenly I'm wondering what happened to her joy about him being seven inches long. Guess she didn't want to be with him long enough to know if he was even telling the truth about it.

I stopped paying attention to what came from her mouth at that point.Afterwards I really did throw up. I went home and told my mom how much I hated Kikyou. I couldn't tell her why, but she said that she didn't need to know. That was the time when my mom didn't want every single bit of information in my life.

- Bipolar Tangerine