23. Flirt
Alicia Blade
226 words
I know I flirt with him. I flirt with him all the time.
I can't help it, please understand. He's so nice. He's so funny and easygoing and… yes, and handsome, too. And yes, I had a crush on him for awhile. When I met him, for a few weeks, or maybe even longer. For a little while I thought maybe he even liked me back. And back then I just got in the habit of flirting with him.
You know, instinctively.
But that was before…
Well, everything. Because it was before you. And there was nothing before you.
And I can't flirt with you, you must know. I wouldn't know where to start. I'd get tongue-tied and awkward and you would laugh. You'd see right through me. You would never understand that I'm not just flirting to flirt. With him, yes, but with you? Never. It isn't like that.
This is…
This is…
It just isn't like that.
I can't go on. I can't explain whatever this is. But can you just, please, ignore the eyelashes fluttering at him? Forget about the giggling? Pretend like it never happens?
It doesn't mean anything. It never meant anything. It's just a farce, a decoy, a game, and I can't treat you the same way. I never could and I never will.
You're the only one I want.