Chapter 13 – Would be Nice Again
The common room was bustling the following morning as students got ready to for the first day of class. Hermione was handing out first year schedules with maps and looking like she was herding cats trying to get them out into the hall. Lizzie was pulling her hair back in a braid and packing a messenger bag in the common room when a seventh year boy, Neil Randall, stopped to say hello for the first time in at least two years.
"Hi, Lizzie," he said awkwardly.
"Hi...Neil... what's up?" She asked.
"Just saying hello, you have a decent schedule this term?" He asked making small talk.
"I do, though I don't have any books. Being a little bit of everywhere all summer evaded owl post and I never got a list," she said.
"What class do have now?" He asked.
"McGonagall, why?" She answered.
"Take mine, I don't have her until Wednesday. The NEWT book is the same both years," he offered. "Anything after?" He asked.
"Herbology," Lizzie answered, looking at him skeptically. He pulled out both books and handed them to her.
"I have Sprout tomorrow so..." he said.
"Yeah, I'll come find you. Thanks so much, will try to catch up on reading in the meantime," she said with an appreciative smile. He smiled back at her with a sparkle in his eyes.
"Dueling Club happening this year?" He asked.
"It is... though I get along about as well with Snape as I do a dementor, so we'll see how it goes. I'll keep you posted," she said, and he laughed lightly. She had a hard time reading him but it was obvious he was making an effort to be nice to her for a reason.
Ron caught her eye and nodded toward her. "You announce tryouts?" Ron asked eagerly, breaking up the conversation he was oblivious to.
"No not yet," Lizzie admitted.
Ron clapped loud to get the room's attention. "LISTEN YOU LOT!" He yelled, standing up on the coffee table as Lizzie buried her face in her hands awkwardly.
"YOUR QUIDDITCH CAPTAIN HAS AN ANNOUNCEMENT," He added. Most everyone gaped at him in disbelief that McGonagall would have made him captain.
"NO... not...me..." he said annoyed, and pulled on Lizzie's hand for her to stand on the table as he stepped down. The room broke out in immediate applause when they realized they had their seeker back.
"Yeah, yeah... save your palms and you vocal chords for the games..." she said bemused.
"Listen, I'm holding a fresh round of tryouts. Just because you were on the team last year does not guarantee you a spot. Be on the pitch next Saturday at 8am if you want a shot, got it?" Lizzie announced in a commanding tone that felt good to project. Applause resounded again and someone whistled as she got down. She waved at Neil, who smiled back, and then headed down to the Great Hall.
Lizzie was relieved to have most of her classes with Ron and Hermione as they compared schedules during breakfast. When mail arrived, her heart sank a little knowing there would be nothing from Sirius...or anyone for that matter.
"Nothing from Remus?" Hermione asked. Lizzie shook her head.
"Nobody is supposed to write to me, he's also on some mission for Dumbledore..." she explained. Hermione frowned with a little apprehension.
"Poor Hedwig... boring year," Lizzie mumbled.
"So what happened last night? Your face?" Hermione asked, buttering toast and eyeballing Lizzie fiercely.
"Oh well… I snuck into Malfoy's compartment to eaves drop… he um caught on… ambushed me alone, cracked my cheekbone, and if not for Tonks I would have been on the ride back to London fully petrified under the cloak," she explained nonchalantly. Hermione stopped eating and stared at her in disbelief.
"I know, awful isn't it?" Lizzie asked innocently.
"I think the cruciatus did a number on your brain cells, are you really that stupid?" Hermione asked. Lizzie choked on her toast in response.
"Well…Not as stupid as last term when I was coerced into sleeping with him for weeks," Lizzie whispered, forgetting she never told Hermione that detail and immediately regretted mentioning it now.
"What?!" she whispered harshly.
"He was going to turn me in about Sirius… get him executed and me in prison. Payback for the Quibbler thing and beating his face in on the pitch... Lucius spotted him at Kings Cross as Snuffles… I didn't know what to do. Alright? Worked to my advantage slightly…he did step in to convince Umbridge not to torture me… must have been hoping I'd be around to 'repay' him for that," Lizzie whispered. Hermione stared back like she was going to be sick.
"You should report that, that's rape," Hermione hissed.
"Yeah, right up my fucking alley then. What good does it do now?" Lizzie retorted.
Seamus sat down next to her and casually poured a cup coffee. Lizzie looked up at Hermione gesturing at him with her eyes, but Hermione rolled hers. "Just to make the morning better," he said happily, pushing the cup toward her.
"Yeah, reckon an eighth cup would make the morning popping, Seamus," Lizzie said back sarcastically.
"Who has eight cups of..." he said indignantly and Lizzie and Hermione laughed.
"People who don't sleep," Lizzie said, taking a sip, looking back at him with raised eyebrows.
"You have Transfigurations?" She asked, he nodded.
Seamus walked with Ron to McGonagall's class and Lizzie and Hermione lingered back walking a couple yards behind them.
"He wants to be more than friends, Lizzie," Hermione said quietly.
"No... who would want...I'm a giant pile of baggage, damaged baggage," she started to say.
"Oh honestly...most everybody... last year you were black listed and two shakes of a lambs tail away from a mental collapse... the years before you were spoken for... now you're gorgeous and famous... the chosen one... I reckon most are too intimidated to say anything... but...apparently not Seamus," Hermione explained. Lizzie didn't know what to say, the thought hadn't dawned on her now that she was both single and no longer regarded as a lunatic, that people would actually be interested in her. It also made her queasy and she felt like she was betraying Cedric even considering it.
Watching them walk ahead she noticed both Ron and Seamus had grown at least half a foot, they had filled out as well and she didn't remember thinking anyone in her year was particularly good looking until now. Her reference point was Cedric who was after all their age now when they dated, it all started to cause waves in her mind. Companionship like that again would be nice, she thought. Unless they're caught in crossfire and I lose another... I can't lose another...arms length is better... she reasoned. Nothing serious then... she bargained, but it all gave her a headache. The stares and interested looking eyes were getting on her nerves though, but she made an effort not read anyone's thoughts to spare herself the recourse.
Transfigurations felt like a new class entirely. The workload was going to be tremendous but it was also a lot more interesting. More theory than practicality the first NEWT term, which meant a lot more reading.
After class, Lizzie paused and let everyone leave the room, considering whether to ask McGonagall about the animagus potion.
"Lizzie, why are you lingering, dear?" McGonagall asked, breaking her train of thought.
"Oh... um... professor. Well since you ask.. and you have got to promise not to get mad..." Lizzie said. McGonagall frowned.
"What did you do already?" She asked reprovingly.
"Nothing... something I'm in the process of doing... something Sirius was helping with... I just wondered if you had a crystal phial? One that erm...refracts moonlight?" She asked hoping she would catch on.
McGonagall's eyes widened and she suddenly noticed the way Lizzie had been talking. "You surely must be kidding. You're not..." she started to say but the look on Lizzie's face was telling.
"Azalea Potter," she snapped. "You went to Sirius about this FIRST? Do you know how dangerous it is?" She asked. "I don't even want to know how your father and those boys did it... Miracle they all even survived school. Why didn't you come straight to me?" She added and Lizzie's lip curled in a slight smile.
"Well... Umbridge was here... so..." she explained, and McGonagall had no retort to that. Snatching her hand she pulled her back into her office and rummaged through her cabinet. Lizzie stared down at a phial, one of the harder to find ingredients she needed that would save her an illicit trip to the store cupboard, she didn't feel right about stealing from Slughorn, and a book with instructions.
"Look at me," she said sharply and stared at Lizzie intently.
"You follow everything in that you hear? You leave nothing out. You start over if you mess it up. Too dangerous to make a mistake... Albus will behead me if the chosen one all of the sudden becomes a permanent Koala with a serpent head," she insisted and Lizzie belly laughed at the image but nodded in understanding with a huge smile plastered across her face.
McGonagall gave her a devilish smile and waved her off. Lizzie had never loved her more than she did in that moment.
"Didn't already land yourself a detention did you?" Lizzie heard someone behind her say as she left down the hall toward Herbology. She startled at the unexpected encounter and saw Seamus.
"My God, get a bell will you? Scared the life out of me," she laughed. He mouthed a 'sorry,' and smiled at her.
Lizzie contemplated something for a moment while they walked awkwardly together.
"Seamus..." she said slowly.
"Hm?" He acknowledged.
"Nothing," she said. He nodded nervously. She could feel his inner battle with making a more forward advance or keeping a distance, it was similar to her conflicted thoughts. Part of her wanted to give it a go and ease his agony, another part didn't feel ready jump into anything. They just walked making small talk instead until they made it to the greenhouse.
Lizzie immediately pointed at Neville smiling wide at him to claim her Herbology partner. Neville laughed and she spent the lesson catching up with him whenever lecture paused. Lizzie had a soft spot for Neville and he only seemed to ever see the lighter side of her.
"I'm sorry you know...I should have killed her when..." he said unexpectedly, and Lizzie knew he meant Bellatrix.
"No... don't be silly, you would have been blown to bits by those death eaters if you had even tried. I should have... I had a window but my rage got the better of me," she explained.
"I am really sorry about Sirius, Lizzie, if you spent that much time helping him evade arrest, I reckon you were close," he said sympathetically. She shook her head.
"I'm alright. He's with my dad. He really loved my dad... you know? Closer than family. I know he's smiling somewhere. But I do miss him," she said. Neville smiled back weakly. There was some awkward silence after that while she prepared the potting soil for a set they were working on.
"Hey... any idea where can I find dew from somewhere untouched?" She asked him, knowing her last spot would now be contaminated.
"You got me there, why?" he whispered. Lizzie thought hard and knew she'd need to break a rule and head into the forest to finish the potion.
After classes, before heading in for dinner, Lizzie met Ron and Hermione in the courtyard and sat on the ledge overlooking the Black Lake.
"This year is going to be brutal," Ron complained. Hermione rolled her eyes at him.
"Yeah...I wonder how many of them are trying to get in... right now..." Lizzie whispered, her eyes fixed on where the sky touched the lake and the surrounding hills. Her feet dangled over the edge.
"I was talking about classes but yeah, I guess that too..." Ron admitted.
"I feel like I'm in a bubble, when that bubble pops, there's going to be nowhere to run, will there?" She asked. Ron's face went cold and Hermione looked nervously at Lizzie.
"Let's try not to think about it that way," Hermione insisted. "You sleeping?" She asked. Lizzie shrugged.
"I'm just saying, we can't postpone the inevitable," Lizzie added grimly and got down to head into the Great Hall.
"Heya three," they heard Hagrid yell over. Lizzie's face lit up but then fell knowing she had to blow off his course this year.
"Hey Hagrid," she smiled.
"Lizzie, yer need to come say hi to witherwings when you get a moment..." but mouthed 'buckbeak' and she giggled.
"He's glad to be home, I'm sure," she smiled, and Hagrid exhaled a sigh of relief.
"Lots of great lessons this year! Head on into dinner. You'll see tomorrow," he said happily. Before Lizzie could say anything he headed into the Great Hall to take a seat.
Lizzie looked at Ron and Hermione who looked equally ashamed. "Wait... neither of you?" She asked reproachfully.
"Well... we're only allowed a max of seven and I took on Ancient Runes and Alchemy," she explained. Lizzie glared back.
"Ancient Runes? All the creatures we've faced over the years and you thought Runes was more worthwhile?" Lizzie asked incredulously.
"You then? Surely you're not taking seven!" She snapped at Ron.
"Nah, well I got signed up for Potions against my will since Slughorn accepted Exceeds Expectations scores, and the minimum is six and I picked History so there would be one I could blow off," he explained.
"That leaves you one extra!" Lizzie berated.
"No... I just assumed with quidditch and... well I can't keep up with the reading like you two so I kept it lighter... plus prefect stuff..." he explained and Lizzie rolled her eyes.
"For that maybe I won't put you on the team," she sneered. He gaped back at her.
"You're only take six!" He retorted harshly.
"Yeah, because my seventh is with Dumbledore and then the captainship and Dueling Club with the greasy snake. They wouldn't let me add Hagrid when I asked. Oh he's going to be so sad...I'm not even allowed on grounds without and escort," she said sympathetically, looking in his direction.
Lizzie returned the books to Neil that night and noticed a strange look from Seamus in doing so. He seemed to put more urgency in what he wanted to accomplish.
"Just do it, what's the worst she could say?" She heard Dean whisper to him while she hovered in the stairwell on her way down to the common room to read. She was hoping everyone would be asleep.
"I just dunno. I mean... with what happened. Is she even over Diggory? I can't tell. She seems a lot better than last year, but like how could she be? They tortured her, her godfather and her uncle died, you'd think she'd be worse... but there's something different," he explained.
"Yeah, there's no prats like you calling her a bloody liar. She's not getting regularly accosted anymore, or living in detention with the devil in pink. Look, nobody here would pass up an opportunity to be with Lizzie, but at the same time everyone's pretty scared of her... So make a move or don't, but stop walking a tight rope and decide... for your own good, mate...worst she'll say is no," Dean explained. This gave Lizzie pause, and overhearing gave her some time to reflect. If he asks, I'll give it a go, she decided.