Chapter -97: The Seer of Aura
Within the walls of Sancturia, there lies the Royal Hive, the building where the governing Ten Sages do dialogue over their duties and live in their own quarters.
That includes any of their children, though of this current generation, only the Sage of Aura, Borealis Aurora, has ushered in a scion.
Said child, Auris, was a warrior, a prideful and beautiful one at that...At least once upon another time.
But thanks to the actions of one Temporis Aurora, Auris' life and consequently her memories have been tossed into a blender and left in a muddled state.
Now she stands at the border of two separate lives, a stranger in one world but unable to return to the other.
She struggles to find a grounding point, and with all this doubt clouding her mind the best she can do to distract her mind is to absorb herself in what little familiarity she could find.
Beneath the Hive is a large, square arena surrounded by glass walls, allowing one to observe the pulsating core of energy that keeps Sancturia clean and secure. With only the occasional luminescence to provide vision, this was the perfect place for a Sage to hone their aura and other associated senses.
Here, Auris is in the middle of training with Gabriel, a seemingly ageless man who has been a loyal guardian to the Sages for a few generations now.
Though his skin bore an odd shade of green, he was considered a valued member of Sancturia and someone Auris in particular held in high regard.
His blade was swung with precision and tested Auris' reflexes to the fullest. One misswing of her blade and she'd be cut, little though that mattered nowadays...
She was quick on her feet but one shouldn't be fooled by her agility, for behind that binding robe were the arms and legs of an amazon or a gladiator.
In her hands that small sword carried the power of a hundred claymores, and every swing Gabriel guarded buckled against his arms and forced him to either pull away or sacrifice his bones to her might.
But he was her match at every stroke, knowing just where to land his hits in order to keep an advantageous position.
As steel collided upon steel, their auras dazzled through the darkness like the lingering sparks off of fireworks, and their silhouettes painted a picture of the two warriors' deadly dance.
They had been at this for a solid hour, with Auris' heart beating at a fevered pitch throughout. Her robe was drenched in sweat and Gabriel's armor was the same.
Her frenzied, warrior's grin flashed in Gabriel's vision at every parry of her blade.
When it came to defense, there was one better.
When it came to wisdom, there was one better.
Even when it came to raw strength, there was maybe one better.
But Auris had all these traits and then some. Hardly a couple years into adulthood, and Gabriel knew that she would be a warrior whose tales would be passed down in legend...
However, she felt otherwise.
"CLNG!" "CLNG!" "SSSHHHNN!"
After one committed slash on both their ends, the two were pushed back from one another at the center of the room.
When she gave herself even a second to stop, Auris found her heart beat returning to normal, and her breathing was just the same...
She closed her eyes and with a ragged sigh she spoke up in a friendly, at-ease tone, "That's enough for today, Gabriel."
The two put their weapons away and Gabriel approached her with a proud, heartwarming smile, "Your improvements continue to impress me, Lady Auris."
"...You do not need to hold back around me," Auris said, feeling mildly belittled as she looked in the other direction, "You noticed the difference. Or rather, lack thereof."
She could tell his brows were furrowed as the words he wished to say were being dammed off by his lips.
So she spoke for him using a more poignantly quiet and concerned tone, "I've not struck any harder than I had our last few training sessions."
Gabriel then crossed his arms and wondered aloud, "...Do you think this is tied to the Anti-Genesis Theorem?"
"The Anti-Genesis Theorem..." Auris closed her eyes and started to reflect upon some...unsavory memories.
"Father created this...abhorrent power out of the fragments of the Wellspring he and the other Ten Sages stole."
"Justek was the first to receive it, and I was the second."
"In both series of events in my life, I believed that my indomitable power meant I was invincible from harm...I was shown a harsh truth, when that thing burned itself into my skin..."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Echoed a high-pitched wail from her past powerful enough to make her feel ill in the gut.
"Father tried to help me through the pain, crying his eyes out as he assured me that this power would keep me safe from...savages."
"He had yet to fathom what he had done, what...HELL he had awakened."
"At first I felt the same. My reflexes, strength, my beauty, I had everything I wanted. But pride clung to my perfection, and soon the roots grown from that mark of hell would twist it's way around it."
"I threw caution to the wind in a mere sparring session against Gabriel one day, and that allowed him to cut me across the cheek. But..."
Auris froze in place, as she heard and felt the flesh and sinew seal itself back together. She repeatedly tapped around where the scar was with her fingertips as Gabriel watched on with concern.
"I-It's gone...! My scar, it's gone...! Where...how...what...what's going on?! What's happening to me?!"
"I was trained to be a warrior. But a mere blade, no matter how sharp, cannot cut down the unfathomable unknown..."
"I was dissected and diagnosed by my father's Alchemy Drive. It was determined what happened was more than mere regeneration. My body was in a state of stasis."
"Somehow, the Anti-Genesis Theorem caused my body to remain 'perfect'. Any scar would be healed. Any signs of aging would be reversed. All for the sake of preserving 'perfection'."
"This had other side effects too. I could no longer forget anything I had learned. I could perfectly recount my memories, even from the time I was born."
"But I would slowly come to realize the cruelty of this...'gift'.Muscles only grow stronger when you push them to the limits to make them tear, then allow them to regrow. And if my muscles cannot change, neither can my skin cells. Sensations I have yet to experience I will forever do so like I am for the first time. Even..."
"..."
Auris clung her arms against her body and shivered.
Gabriel put his hand on her shoulder but she jumped like a stranger had gotten hold of her. She turned around with her eyes visibly freaked out, and then eased into herself.
"Forgive my temperament, Gabriel," Auris muttered, "I imagine you find this...unbecoming of me."
"...Your father did what he felt was right for his people," Gabriel said with great reluctance towards speaking spitefully of the man, "But...that he forced that...wretched mark upon his own flesh and blood."
"Enough, Gabriel," Auris uttered with firm intent before continuing to avert her gaze from him, and whispering in a seldom heard tone of discontent, "Do not...speak ill of father's ways."
"..As you wish, Lady Auris." Gabriel said, slowly taking a bow.
Auris tried to shift the topic away as quickly as she could, "My reflexes are still as sharp as ever though."
"Yes, perhaps even a little sharper, thanks to your clairvoyance." Gabriel noted, only for Auris to shake her head.
"I tried to avoid using that power in our fight. Relying on knowing what's coming ahead of time in a battle is an easy way to slip up and take a fatal blow."
Wise words, but ones she only half believed in, "And...I still don't know the full extent of what this power is capable of."
She departed from Gabriel with a respectful gesture and continued this train of thought while making her way to her room.
"I have been able to see further ahead, but my limit seems to be short...for now. At first I could see events coming a month ahead, but lately I've been able to see farther."
"The power of clairvoyance seems to grow with continued use. It makes sense, as it is tied to the growth potential of my sister's Drive."
"I knew how Gabriel would fight in our last few encounters...Save for a couple moments where his movements did not match my visions."
"But time should be linear, no? And my sister's ventures proved it cannot be changed."
Auris entered her room and let out a hum, "I need to find a way to test this discrepancy."
For now though, she changed out into a new robe and then sat at her desk with a feather pen and stacks of paper to work with.
She'd been working on a record of sorts over the last few months to make sense out of both sets of memories she had.
And in doing so, would continue to confirm that the existence of Temporis in this world was real.
It was relaxing and more importantly distracting...to a point. For when she was forced to acknowledge the presence of Sarajin in her logs, her writing hand trembled and the pen slipped out, causing ink to streak along the paper.
She replaced the papers with a quiet hum each time, but every failure made the discomfort in it grow.
Eventually she slammed the pen upon the desk and pulled herself away from the table, her heart racing like it wished to escape her chest.
She paced around the room with her hand atop her chest, waiting for the feeling to subside. But that was reliant on her will, which when in his presence, seemed to be as frail as the paper she wrote upon.
"Stop it!" She bit her teeth down and hissed at herself. Her tone became desperate, as this feeling refused to go away.
"Just...stop it already!" And then, it came off as grieving and pitiful. Truly, truly pitiful...
She squeezed her fist between her chest to crack her knuckles and then slowly swerved to look at herself in the nearby mirror.
What would once reflect a prideful warrior was now showing her a girl ill with that tender and troublesome disease known as "love".
She approached the mirror and laid her hand against her own. When she blinked, she saw her sister in place of her reflection and recoiled with a frightful jolt in her heart.
The reflection was gone upon another blink, which led to her reaching up and brushing the pink spot in her hair.
Her gaze wavered from her pathetic sight and she pulled herself around, grabbing onto her sleeves 'til her tremors covered her whole.
"Must I keep being plagued by these yearnings? These feelings, were they even my own, will never be satisfied..."
She eyed over her shoulder with a scornful glare and then began to peel her robe off, letting it fall upon the floor at her feet.
What now stood in the mirror was a form self-sculpted to be enviable by gods and goddess alike. Peerless skin, tight curves, and muscles taut from constant use.
But nowadays any gaze blessed by this sight would first have to ignore the blight on her back.
The mark of a serpent coiled around itself to form a vertical infinity symbol, ending with it's head opening it's maw ready to consume an apple. Roots spread out and appeared to be digging into the skin, and covered parts of her frontside too.
It was all dark violet with a lethal, blood-colored glow that pulsed as though it was alive.
Auris crossed her arms under her chest and the scorn continued, peppered with a sour, sorrowful air around her body.
"My very touch is poison to him. How can there be love when we'd be robbed of a shared embrace? When my very lips...could melt him to nothing? And we will never..." Auris glanced down at the space between her legs and then pressed them together, trembling at the knees.
She quickly bent down and covered herself back up, clasping her hands on the chest of the robe. With one last dire shiver, she found herself plagued by Sarajin's best and worst trait...his smile.
Remembering it filled her poisoned body with warmth and forced a smile upon her face. But it was one marred with a tear of pain.
"His smile's as warm as any hug or kiss," Auris gasped in sadness, "But that's NOT love. It's superficial. Pathetic. And unbecoming of an Aurian Sage..."
She wanted to be herself again, free from these agonizing wants and desires.
But then that begged the question...
Who IS Auris Aurora?
She closed her eyes and took a deep, long look inside of herself, "I can no longer be the person I was before. They do not fit the mold left in my sister's absence...And yet I cannot be the person who exists now. The 'bonds' that were forged are not of my doing."
"Yet to all of them...to Sarajin, our experiences were as real as they could get. Am I...am I being selfish by choosing to covet my sense of self over the happiness we could share?"
Force into yet another stressful episode, Auris ripped her arms away from her body and shook her head violently.
"I-I need some fresh air." She thus ran out the door and left the palace in a rush.
She immediately looked up and saw that it was nightfall. Brushing her hair back she made a remark of, "I lost track of time..."
She was struck with wanderlust and went wherever she could throughout Sancturia. The clean air was a relief on her weary mind, yet somewhat felt empty.
She wound up at the edge of the barrier looking out towards the east, where Arc Hurricanos barely could be seen in the distance.
She stared at it for a few minutes and then retreated with a sigh.
She walked with her arms tucked in her sleeves and her people looked up at her with reverence as she passed them by.
There was nothing she could say or do for them beyond offer them pity, a feeling which has grown with age.
For she had seen what lies beyond the walls in one time or the other, and thus has gained a sense of self-awareness over the failings of the treatment of her people.
"This isn't life. This is...cruel." Her thoughts strayed towards.
"Father gives them the bare minimum to do, and they follow orders like a colony of ants. Without question, and without stopping..."
"They work, they eat, they sleep. There's no time for excitement or expression in father's world, lest they come to harm one another."
Auris squeezed her eyes shut and admitted to herself, "On principle I understand the good in such a life. But..."
When all she could see from her people were empty eyes and stilted movements, she may as well have been standing in a puppet theater, "Is peace worth THIS...?"
But as sterile as her people were meant to be, that didn't stop some from trying to bring a little life to their routine days.
Auris perked up at the feeling of aura nearby and made her way towards it.
She found a beautiful, silk-skinned lady with icy blue hair cut short kneeling in front of some children. Her midsection was held snug by an ice blue corset with vertical stripes, while her slender, fairy-tale legs were covered by a long dress skirt with large, snowflake prints.
She wore silky white dance slippers with a blue rose adorned on top of each. Her shoulders were shrouded in a fluffy white shawl, and her delicate hands wrapped by blue bridal gloves, with a bit of cloth stretching out towards the golden ring on her ring fingers.
But the most eye-catching of this beauty was ironically the part that could not be caught, for her eyes were shrouded by a fluffy white cloth.
She reached out to the children with a teensy smile and from her hands created little silken moths of aura and snow to dance around their heads.
The lady then rested her hands on her knees and watched their eyes wander about. For a brief moment, it would seem a smile would be stimulated into being.
But by the time the dance of the moths dissipated into the skies, the children were merely left clapping their hands at a slow, rigid pace.
Their respective parents then bowed their heads as the lady rose and held her hands before her waist.
"You honor us with your presence, Lady Carolina."
The Aurians then parted for their homes, and the lady's smile began to fade ever so slightly. Auris approached her, planting her hand upon her chest as she bowed her head as well.
"Lady Carolina. It's rare to see you out here so late at night." Auris whispered.
Carolina turned to her and nodded with her smile grown back. Auris then looked at her face and crossed her arms under her chest.
"Carolina...The sage of ice, and a lady of no words. Fittingly, her title is 'The Muted Moth'."
"I do not know why she refuses to speak, or what she feels...But her work as a Sage has been commendable in the few years she's been active. If there is any of whom I'd say are more beautiful than me, it is her. She is the perfect lady."
"She's only a few years my senior, a trait she shares with the Sages of Fire, Water and Electricity. Rumor has it that she is responsible for rescuing those who get lost on the peaks of Cryofloe."
This thought led Auris to smile and recall past events, "I wonder how Sarajin would feel if he knew a Sage had rescued him way back when?"
The bitter sting reduced her smile.
Carolina, however, put her cold fingertips at the sides of Auris' mouth and pushed it back up.
Auris kept it there and whispered, "Thank you."
Carolina nodded and then gracefully glided her finger through the air, writing the words "Are you ok?" with her snow-glittering aura.
"...Can't hide anything from you, can I?" Auris said with some reluctance.
Carolina nodded with a childish smile. Auris brushed her hand up beside her face and remarked, "Unfortunately, with all due respect, I'm not ready to have a long-winded dialogue with you about this."
Carolina then pointed at her face, using her aura to craft a fuzzy, bear-like beard.
Auris flinched and shook her head fervently, "N-No, I...do not think this is something father should hear."
The aura left Carolina's face like snowflakes and she planted her hands down before her waist. Auris turned away and tried to maintain a respectful tone, "Forgive me, Lady Carolina. But I'd rather figure this out myself."
As she walked away, the icy Sage fluttered up beside them with moth wings of glittery frost on their back. She had the overall presence of the fairies spoken of in yore.
But this one did not bar the path with their mischief. They waved a fond farewell, and then took off for the palace.
That would not be where Auris would return to. She wanted to keep wandering for a little while longer, until these rampant thoughts had been cast aside.
Her ventures would take her to one of four temples erected for the people to give their blessings to the Ten Sages. It was vacant for the evening, but that did not mean it was absent of life.
"-ok, I'm trying my best. That monkey bastard is-"
"I expected some progress. You've let yourself get distracted."
"Hey, just cause I'm on your side doesn't make you the boss of me!"
"...Say that again. Please."
"T-Tsk..."
Auris felt a slight chill in the air and chose to look around the corner to investigate. There she found two Sages leaning against the wall in mid-conversation.
The woman closest to her was the fair and dainty Lilith, who dressed in a double-layered dress skirt and pearl satin robe with faint black streaks trailing vertically. Her black hair was tied in a bun in the back and a ring adorned each ear, with a larger ring around her waist carrying dangling glass balls filled with light.
The other was Vermilion, the short-tempered and one-eyed warrior.
Vermilion had sprung off the wall on the defensive but quickly tossed her head back and scoffed, "Oh ho, if it ain't the amazon princess."
Lilith's eyes were closed as she let out a titillating hum and faced Auris, "You're out late, Auris. Is something troubling you?"
Auris focused on Lilith in particular. Her voice was smooth like marble tile and as calming as church bells. But just a moment ago, it almost sounded a little...sinister.
"I must have been imagining things." Auris assumed, blaming it on the stress.
She then approached the two shorter ladies and remarked, "What were you talking about?"
"Oh, you overheard us?" Lilith said with her brows raised in surprise.
"That wasn't the first time," Auris kept to herself, "I saw this conversation through my clairvoyance. But the topic was...of something else, I think."
Vermilion slid her deadly hands into her sleeves and grinned, "Peh! We're supposed to be meeting up with that stupid spindly brother of hers."
"That's what it was about," Auris recalled, "So why was it..."
"Hey!" Vermilion shouted, "I'm bored! Whip out that sword of yours and let's go for a bit, Auris!"
Auris gave her a passing glance and then shook her head, "You KNOW we're not allowed to fight one another."
"Pffft, you ain't an official Sage yet and you don't get to tell me who to fight even if ya were one!" Vermilion said, her eye widening into a frenzy, "C'mon, I ain't gettin' satisfied ever since that Knight from Cryofloe went and bailed!"
Lilith turned towards her slowly and her eyes opened like a pair of slits, "I believe, our fair daughter has made herself clear, Vermilion. We obey the rules like good and proper Sages, no?"
Vermilion grit her teeth with a tremble and then growled, lashing her hand out by her face before hunching down and saying with a gritty scoff, "Whatever, spoilsports."
She sprung through the air like a bomb going off, with Lilith remaining completely still against the force of the dust she kicked up in her wake.
"Such a trouble child..." She said with two clicks of the tongue.
Then she faced Auris and put her smile up, "You look horrid, dear. Having a hard time readjusting to things back home?"
"No," Aurs shook her head with an insincere remark of, "I-It honestly feels like I never left at all."
"Mmmm." Lilith said half-heartedly.
Auris crossed her arms under her chest and thought to herself, "Lilith. You've been...you were...a close confidant to me. As father's most trusted aide, your wisdom throughout my childhood was a great inspiration for me to try my best to live up the standards of being a Sage. No wonder they call you the Guiding Firefly."
"Lady Lilith?" Auris said, briefly reverting to a vulnerable, child-like tone, "Can...I have your guidance?"
Lilith's brow furrowed slightly as she responded, "Of course, our proud and prodigious daughter. What ails you on your path currently?"
Though there was an unspoken bond of silence and trust between the two, Auris felt directly stating what ails her would eventually lead to it reaching her father's ears.
"H-Have you ever had someone so ingrained into your mind that no matter how hard you try to distract yourself, you can't get rid of them?"
"Mmm," Lilith hummed as she rubbed her chin, "It is very unbecoming of a Sage to let attachment get in the way."
"It's...it's not like that," Auris stuttered, then clutched her arms and pulled her head back to announce firmly as she could, "This 'someone' is a pain in my side. I WISH I could just forget about them already!"
And that lie stung, harder than it ever has before...
Lilith brushed her hand out and gently grabbed hold of Auris' shoulder, "Hatred is weakness all the same. You are a Sage. You stand without peer as the pinnacle of Aurian blood, a goddess to all those savages outside our walls."
"Embrace your power and become the master of your feelings, and crush any signs of weakness out of your system." Such powerful words, spoken in a delicate, silky tone...
It was enough to make Auris feel a little disturbed, but nevertheless she took those words into careful consideration.
"A-Are you sure, Lady Lilith?" She whispered.
Lilith withdrew her hand to her hip and smiled tenderly, "Never forget what it means to be an Aurian. You are not only Borealis' precious child, you are the key to our future."
She then began to walk past her, with Auris following her for a bit as she asked, "Weren't you going to meet with Lord Atrax?"
"Mmm," Lilith snickered with a hint of detachment in her voice, "Oh, right. That pesky brother of mine, always popping out of the shadows when you least expect or want it."
"I suddenly find myself very tired and wish to take a nap. If he crawls out of your shadow, direct him to our room."
Once she was gone Auris made her way to the front of the temple and let out a long sigh, echoing the guidance of her peer, "Never forget what it means to be an Aurian..."
She looked up towards the stars in the clean night sky and tapped her fingers along her elbows, "There was a time when I believed in that way. 'Aurians are superior to the savages, for they are burdened with flaws.'"
"But just one boy, with his mere smile alone, was powerful enough to throw everything I knew into question."
"...! I'm thinking about him again!" Auris was ready to start tearing her hair out in silent frustration.
"Why why WHY?! He's just one person, why does he matter so much to me?! I can't keep living with this torment! I want to be myself again!" Auris gripped her hair until the strands were between her fingers and then slid back against the wall onto her rear, gnashing her teeth as her eyes welled up with tears.
A calm wind passed through the city and as her heart skipped a beat she stood and turned towards where the wind began.
But her anticipation was diminished immensely as it was only Nimus making a sliding landing into the city.
He popped his goggles up and looked at her from the side with a bit of surprise. There was a burlap sack full of ingredients stolen from other Tribes in his left hand.
"Well, if it isn't my favorite cotton candy princess!" Nimus stuffed his wing blades into a second sack on his back and raised the ingredients, "Got some grub, you have dinner yet?"
Auris turned away with her arms laid under her chest and muttered, "I'm not hungry."
"...Ooookay, what's going on?" Nimus said in a playful tone.
Auris sealed her lips and tried to step away.
Nimus matched her pace and dropped the sack at his feet, "C'moooon, I'm still your favorite cool uncle. Tell me what's going on."
Auris gripped her arms with unease and made a subtle look over her shoulder at his smiling face. He nudged his brows up and gestured towards himself.
But the sincerity of his need to help came at the wrong time.
Auris continued to walk away then stopped in place again. She looked towards the stars twinkling over her, and from there the words slipped out on their own.
"...Lord Nimus, you were the closest to Sarajin," She paused and then made a quick addendum to her sister, "A-After me."
She peered over her shoulder and asked with pained curiosity, "What...what made you want to spend time with him?"
"Callin' me the 'L' word, eh? This really is serious..." Nimus tucked his hands deep in his pockets and put on his equivalent of a serious face.
"He was just a regular kid wanting to go on adventures and I fed him the courage to act on his impulses," Nimus leaned his head in and smiled a little more, "He's nothing special when you get down to it."
Auris felt incensed by that remark and Nimus kept his cool against it.
"It's the world we live in that makes him extraordinary," Nimus quick remark put out Auris' rage and she stood there with her mouth partially agape, "Think. He's waded through so much of the world's crap but still keeps on smiling. He'll stomach your worst qualities to try and bring out the best he sees in you, and wants to make everyone's dreams come true."
"Ha! It's a wild and crazy dream to be sure, but his persistence makes it feel possible," Nimus then leaned back, pinched his goggles, and closed his eyes, "Him and I may be on opposing sides when it comes to world peace but if he wins, you know what? I ain't gonna complain. He'll have earned it."
He then raised his head with a smirk and chuckle before looking directly at Auris' face to say, "Well? Did I do a good job voicing your thoughts?"
Auris flinched hard in recoil and Nimus slid into a grin as he tucked his hands back into his pockets, "I threw in some of my opinion for a little spice. Hope you don't mind."
"I-I see." Auris put her fist against her chest.
"You're at that age where you've got to start considering your own happiness, princess."
"...But Lady Lilith told me-"
"Never forget what it means to be an Aurian?" Nimus said before turning aside and clicking his tongue a few times, saying under his breath, "Sometimes that woman commits too much to the bit..."
"Huh?" Auris uttered in a puzzled tone.
Nimus shifted right back and perked up, "Look. Lilith? Your dad? They're full of it. Aurians have probably gone through many changes over generations! It's not in our nature to be static creatures of habit."
"If you want to be with Sarajin then shit, go for it! You've got my support all the way!"
Auris closed her eyes and mumbled firmly, "It's not as simple as you make it sound."
"Obviously you've got a lot of personal hurdles to overcome," Nimus shrugged, then flashed a smile with his head lowered, "But hey, you've still got a few months before cotton puff comes back so like...take it easy."
"Me?" He pointed his thumb at his chest, "I should proooobably meet up with Lilith before she blows a gasket."
He picked up the sack of ingredients and started to turn tail when Auris shouted, "Wait!"
He stopped for a little longer to hear her out, "Do you...think he will come back?"
Nimus scoff and brushed his hand up in a matter-of-fact way, "Duh!"
He then turned and walked away, leaving Auris to fend for herself once more.
But now her thoughts felt a little more...sorted, thanks to Nimus' session putting them into perspective for her.
As she began to slow walk back to the palace she kept going from the point he helped her reach, "...He is kind. He is determined...Is that really enough for him to have left such an undying impression on my heart?"
"Father is...kind. Father is...determined. And yet I..." She had taken a moment to think it over more, "I...have I ever actually felt it from him the way I have Sarajin?"
"I had trained myself to be strong, for him. I absorbed everything that was taught to me, for him. My father's will and determination is indomitable and yet...that never left room in his heart for me beyond what was necessary."
"He congratulated me. Pampered me with tools and books and praise...But he never hugged me, or kissed me, never made me receptive to his warmth."
"Is...is that what I chase after? That missing feeling of being held? A-Am I so weak and broken that I can only find solace in being someone's...muse?!"
"I am NOT going to lower myself to that level for anyone!" She told herself in a rage, bringing out a little of her old self, "I...am an Aurian Sage, and a warrior that stands head and shoulders over the rest!"
Her mood shifted spontaneously into tearful melancholy, "But...I am also grief-stricken with love."
Who is Auris Aurora? The question had to be asked again.
She was not one person, but two.
Everyone saw and expected her to be a warrior goddess, wise and strong and never surrendering to any meaningless emotions.
But deep down, she was an empty girl who yearned for the love she never had, and sought to fill that hole with any form of sincerity.
And that is why Sarajin resonated so much with her from the very start.
Because nothing about him was fake. He presented his best self at every juncture and the praise he heaped upon her was genuine.
His admiration for her strength in this time was one of the catalysts that motivated him to get stronger. And if he could, he would have reciprocated his thanks by confessing his love for her.
SHE erected the wall that was holding him back.
...But why should she tear it down now?
"I-I want to be me. No more doubts, no more fears, no more asinine expectations!" Auris squeezed her fists and put her chin against her chest, "Ghhh...!"
"But. I. CAN'T," It made her want to break through the nearest wall. Instead she finally broke down and cried, "There is...no place for that Auris Aurora."
"Love, or duty. I can't pick one without failing the other." Her expression was that of a person on the verge of insanity, and she stuck her hand out to summon her sword directly in front of her neck.
Then the floodgates opened, and the stress she'd been holding back came crashing down upon her all at once. Her identity crisis. Her lack of resolve. Her uncertainty towards the future. What she wants. Who she wants to be. Everyone giving her answers but none of them getting down to the true root of her suffering...
She should die to end the misery. And she should do it. NOW.
Her anxious expression shambled with unease and the purity her body was cursed to have held back an insane degree of mental exhaustion.
She struggled and stared at her sword until the only sound she heard was her fatal heart beat, and then...
"SHIRRRPP!"
She sliced through the front of her neck without hesitation, immediately dropping upon her hands and knees with immeasurable pain burning through her body.
"Ah...ah...!"
Only a little blood splashed upon the ground, as the wound was quick to heal.
Her tears dripped upon the stain and she slowly cracked down, her pained gasps turning to vicious laughter, "Ha ha ha...HA HA HA!"
"It wasn't the first night my insanity filled the night skies. And it would not be the last. With time, digging it's nails sharp and crooked into my skin..."
"My body was poison, and eternity was my cage."
Next Time: A Dance Under the Sapphire Moon