Chapter 18

After Spike's phone call, it had fallen to Julie to get the Phoenix staff back on track after Lynda's accidental announcement. People were gathered in small groups around cubicles and in the tea room, all engrossed by the day's hot topic. Julie walked through the office out to reception, overhearing snatches of conversation on the way.

". . . spawn of the devil . . ."

"I've always thought Lynda was a mother – just not that kind."

"I heard Spike has to . . ."

Julie didn't wait to hear what Spike had to do as she stepped out into the lobby and handed Sophie a scrap of paper.

"Sophie, can you make this staff announcement and turn the switchboard to answering machine, please?"

"Can do," replied Sophie, cheerfully. Soon, the receptionist's voice was heard over the PA system.

"Good afternoon staff. There will be a staff meeting in the boardroom in 10 minutes. All staff required to attend. Thank you."

The Phoenix staff gathered noisily in the boardroom and Julie made her way to the front of the room.

"Okay, everyone, quiet please!" she said crisply. The gabble of excited chatting died down immediately. My God, thought Julie. I'm channelling Lynda!

Before this thought could take hold, she continued. "Now, as you know, Lynda's not in right now and will probably be away for a day or two at least." Before the chatter could recommence, she continued briskly. "Look, we all got the email and we all know why she's not here. But in case you're forgetting, we have very little time until the first edition. I don't want anyone to think just because Lynda's not here, it's going to be easy street. In fact, it will be quite the opposite!"

There was a cough that sounded suspiciously like "The Gaz!" from somewhere among the staff members. Julie couldn't tell who, so settled for a non-discriminatory glare all round.

"I mean it, people. I, for one, don't want to face Lynda if this first edition isn't absolutely perfect, and you shouldn't either. Remember that form she made you fill out when you joined, listing the names and addresses of your next of kin?"

Everyone nodded, puzzled.

"Well, let's just say it wasn't so she could contact them in case of emergency!"

Uneasy glances were exchanged.

"That's right. So no more chatting, no more gossiping. If I have to enforce a one-person-in-the-toilets-at-a-time rule, I will. Interoffice email is suspended until further notice." Sophie and Laura looked at each other, dismayed. Julie continued. "From this point on, I am Lynda. Only blonde and better dressed. Any questions?"

The room was silent.

"Good. Let's get to work." She thought about clapping her hands together for emphasis but went against it. Speaking in Lynda's voice was scary enough. Everyone trooped out of the boardroom and returned to their workstations. Julie decided a caffeine hit was in order to get through the afternoon and went to the tea room to make herself a coffee. Taking it back to her office, she locked the door, pulled the blinds, sat at her desk, breathed out heavily and lifted the mug to her lips, inhaling the fragrant steam. Without warning, the intercom blared.

"Julie!"

"Colin!" yelped Julie, splashing coffee all over her desk, keyboard and cream linen shirt.

"Sorry, is this a bad time?" enquired Colin politely.

"What is it, Colin?" asked Julie, frantically wriggling out of her shirt which was burning her skin. There was no response. "Colin?"

Rolling her eyes, Julie inspected the fast-spreading stain on her shirt. Lucky she had a coat hanging on the back of the door. It would be easy to slip that on, pop out to the bathroom, rinse the shirt and dry it under the hand dryer. With any luck, the stain wouldn't have set yet.

Coming out from behind her desk, she was just reaching for the coat when the door clicked and swung in.

"Colin!" Julie screamed, holding her stained shirt in a vain effort to cover up. Colin's remarkably flexible eyebrows shot up into his hairline.

"Err, Julie! I, err, I found the master key you asked for. On your rack. I mean – the rack! I mean - on the key rack."

Julie snatched the key. "Get out, Colin!"

"Okay. I'll just . . ." Colin seemed rooted to the spot.

"Out!" Julie pushed Colin out of the door and slammed the door behind him.

The rest of the office looked back at Colin. This had certainly been the most eventful day of the magazine's short history so far! Colin played it cool with a disarming smile and a shrug.

"Women, eh?"