Part 5
His kisses were intoxicating, his touch divine, divine, divine. Desire spiralled up inside her, the tension between them mounted ...
"Nanny? Are you awake?"
"I TOLD you we shouldn't come in without her saying she was awake, Brigitta! You KNOW Charlotte said she was in the kitchen with her and Shades and Joe last night. Maybe she had a bit too much to drink!"
"Don't be silly, Brigitte. Only four beer bottles were on the counter. Even if Nanny drank ALL of them ..."
"Well, Charlotte also said she might have been up late because of excitement or something ..."
"But Brigitte, we have to have her try on this dress! It's for TONIGHT! If much more altering has to be done, Celia needs time, you know," Brigitta argued.
Dress? Nanny dragged her eyes open and found the two B's standing by her bedside. One of them had some blue material draped over her arm. Unable to remember whether the dark-haired girl was Brigitte or Brigitta, Nanny closed her eyes again and moaned. Oh, for Eloise and HER wake up calls! At least then she got some rawther hot coffee immediately! Maybe if she stayed still, the B's would go away and she could get back to her delicious dream ...
"Nanny? Please get up so we can try this dress on you! It's very important!"
"Oh, Brigitte, it's not that late. Even if Queen Clarisse and Sir Wilkes have already finished breakfast."
Nanny groaned and burrowed her head into her pillow. "I'll get up," she said huskily. "In a minute. Could I possibly have some ... rawther hot coffee?"
"Oh! Oh, of course, Nanny. We'll go get you some right away! Why didn't you say something yesterday about wanting it?"
"Yes, we could have had it for you. I'll just put the dress here on the chair, but don't get up and try it on before we get back. I'm dying to see what it looks like on you!"
Nanny waved them out absently with one hand, not moving the rest of her body. Get up? Not very likely. Oh, for just two more minutes of that absolutely wonderful dream ... PLEASE, could she just have two more minutes? After a moment, she sighed. It was no use. She should have known. The dream was gone, as was right. The past should remain in the past.
When the B's returned, Nanny dragged herself out of bed and swallowed some of the coffee, hoping to be able to keep her eyes open against the bright sunshine flooding into the room. Then, after scrambling into her underwear, she submitted to having the dress pulled over her head.
"Oh dear, I don't think we shall be able to zip it closed," one of the B's exclaimed mournfully.
Nanny loved the feel and the colour of the dress. "'ow ... er, How much too small is it?"
"Just a smidgen. Maybe if you suck in?" the other B suggested.
"I could put my corset on," Nanny offered.
"Corset?" the B's questioned together.
"Get the dress off," Nanny said, holding her arms up. They obliged, and she rummaged first in the drawer, then in the suitcase. Charlotte had obviously not known what the corset was, so had left it in the suitcase. Stepping into it, Nanny positioned it, then took hold of one of the posters of the bed and said, "Pull the strings now, girls. Tightly!"
The next time they slipped the dress over her head, the zipper went up with ease. Nanny looked at herself in the mirror, her eyes wide with wonder. "It's a lovely, lovely, lovely dress!" she breathed.
"And it's JUST the colour of your eyes!" one B nodded in satisfaction.
"Isn't that funny? You have the same colour eyes as Queen Clarisse!" the other B commented. "Are you related?"
"Aoww, ME? Related to a Queen? Not hardly!" Nanny chuckled.
"You almost look like her," one B said.
"Except for the hair."
"And the weight."
"And the posture."
Nanny almost rolled her eyes. "The dress is lovely. Am I really going to be allowed to wear it?"
"Oh yes! Charlotte said it's yours if you want it. Take it home with you, if you'll wear it again. Oh, and here are the evening gloves to match."
"My, my, my, won't I be elegant?" Nanny smiled and attempted a curtsey to herself in the mirror. Again she almost fell over.
The B's hurried to steady her.
"Maybe I should wear my old shoes ..." Nanny began.
"No, you mustn't!" one of the B's cried. "We'll just drill you in curtsies. We know how to do lots!"
"Might I take this dress off and have breakfast first?" Nanny asked.
"Oh, just try some now, with the dress on! Here's your shoes. Now, then!"
After ten gruelling minutes, Nanny could make a passable curtsey without unbalancing. Then she was allowed to remove the dress and corset, put on a skirt and blouse and escape her room and the B's. Deciding the coffee had been enough breakfast and hoping to lose an inch or two between now and having to put on the dress again in the evening, she set off through the gardens at a fast pace, just walking and enjoying the fresh air and sunshine. Stopping on a stone arched bridge over a stream, she peered over into the water to see if any fish were visible.
"Nan?"
Whirling around, Nanny saw Joe coming up the path. Without thinking, she ran to him, exuberantly throwing her arms around him. He caught her and laughed as he picked her up and twirled her around. The years fell away, and once again they were teenagers, in love with life and whatever adventures might befall them.
"Oh, my, my, my, Joey! I'm a little too heavy for that now!" Nanny exclaimed, laughing herself as he staggered a bit and let her slip to the ground.
He pretended to be winded when he put her down again, and she shook her head, acting scandalized. For a moment they just stared at each other, searching the other's eyes. Then Joe said slowly, his arms still around her, "It's so good to see you again. I can't believe I didn't recognize you right from the first. You really haven't changed that much."
"It was so, so, so long ago, Joey. Of course I have changed. So have you. In many ways. Why should you even think of me? You're the Head of the Queen's Security team. You have Queen Clarisse to think about now."
"Just as you have Sir Wilkes?" Joe's quick return was worded as a question.
"Well, I can dream, can't I?" Nanny's smile was crooked. "Life experience is supposed to be the best education, but sometimes I wonder if I ever learned from my circumstances! I fell in love with the wrong person back then ... and now it seems that history might be repeating itself!" She shook her head self-deprecatingly, then smiled widely at him. "However, YOU seem to have done well for yourself, Joey. I'm so, so, so happy for you. I'm not wrong, am I? You care for Queen Clarisse? More than just as a Queen, I mean. As a woman? I thought I saw something in your eyes ... something I recognized from a long, long time ago ..."
"You mean I haven't changed much in that respect? But how about your health?" he adroitly changed the subject and she nodded sympathetically. "I understand you've been ill?"
"Pneumonia," she waved her illness away as inconsequential, and explained how Sir Wilkes had practically been forced by Eloise to bring her along to Genovia to recuperate. Then she talked animatedly about Eloise for a while, Joe smiling at the antics the little girl got up to.
"Sounds like she's another Nan!" he commented. "In and out of trouble, but a heart of gold."
"Eloise has a heart of gold, for sure, sure, sure," agreed Nanny. She hesitated, then said slowly, "She saw right away that I was ... well, that I liked Sir Wilkes. She kept urging me to say something to him, asking why I didn't talk to him. Well, you know me, Joey! How could I invite him to tea, or even say anything more than 'good morning'? He's above my station! He's a knight, for Lord's sake! And I'm just me ... just Nanny."
Joe tightened his arms around her, and kissed her cheek. "You are a wonderful person, Nan! Anyone would want to interact with you, no matter WHAT their station in life! You know I always DID chafe against the class system. I thought I had you trained to do the same! You know, Nan, I've often remembered some of your sayings ... remembered your wealth of emotions and how you always said what was on your mind, no matter what others would think! Has that Nan been stamped out by living in New York? I hope not!"
"Oh, not stamped out, I daresay. Just ... hurt by circumstances." Nanny bit her lip, then said brightly, "I DO think we are still much alike. We both are ... connected, I suppose you might say ... with someone above our station. Yes, you rebelled and tried to train me to do the same, but neither of us were ever completely successful, were we? We both want what we probably should never have, or will never have."
"And it appears that neither of us want to talk about it." Joe added.
"Not now, at any rate," she agreed. Then Nanny took his face in her hands. "Joey," she whispered. "I still love you. Oh, don't worry, I'm not IN love you any more ... but I do, do, DO love you. Just for memory's sake ..." and she leaned closer and kissed him lightly on the lips.
O o O o O o
Unbeknownst to them, Joseph and Nanny were being watched from a window on the second floor of the palace. The Queen's office overlooked the gardens, and she had happened to glance out just as Nanny had flown into Joseph's arms. Transfixed, Clarisse had stared, almost disbelieving, as she saw the two talking, laughing and finally ... kissing. Unconsciously, she shook her head, denying what she was seeing just as she had been denying her intense inner feelings for Joseph since Rupert's death.
"No!" she whispered, her eyes stricken but unable to ignore the two in the gardens. "Oh, NO!"
"Clarisse? Am I interrupting? Clarisse?"
Hearing Wilkes' voice as if from a distance, she turned with great effort, and he was beside her in a moment. "Clarisse! What is it?"
Her gaze drifted back to the garden, and his eyes followed hers. He stared. "That's ... That's NANNY! Who is she with?"
Through dry lips, she forced the name, "Joseph."
O o O o O o
After Wilkes had left in a hurry to fetch a cup of tea for her, Clarisse sat down at her desk and stared unseeingly at her papers. Nanny ... and Joseph! JOSEPH! Why was she feeling so hurt? So ... empty? She had no claim on Joseph! Hadn't she told him she could not talk about or even THINK about a relationship with him or anyone else whilst she was Queen? Yet she had had no idea what she really felt for him, or the strength of her feelings for him. She hadn't, that is, until this moment, when she had seen him with someone else. She could NOT be jealous of Nanny. She did not WANT to be jealous! She had no RIGHT to be jealous. No, it was not jealousy. It was envy. There was nothing to keep Joseph and Nanny apart, no reason for them not to find happiness together. And yet ... how could Joseph be so ... so fickle? It was just the other day he had wanted to talk to HER about their ... friendship ... and now he was cuddling and kissing with someone he had just met? And it was NANNY! Nanny, who was so open and friendly despite obviously feeling a slight unease when out of her element. Had she, Clarisse, rebuffed Joseph often enough that she had thrust him into the arms of another woman? What would she do without him should he decide to leave Genovia? She suddenly was discovering that she could not imagine her life without Joseph. Wasn't it enough that she had lost a husband and son ... now she might lose the only man she could ever envision loving? No! Surely her feelings hadn't gone so deep without her even being aware of them! It could not POSSIBLY be love she felt for Joseph ... could it?
Then Wilkes was back, followed by Charlotte who was carrying a tray with tea pot, cups and some dainties.
"Your Majesty," Charlotte said, concern welling in her soft brown eyes. "Sir Wilkes said you weren't feeling well. Is there anything else I might fetch for you?"
Clarisse tried to smile, but it was a little wavery. "No, thank you, Charlotte. I'll be fine." She HAD to be fine! She was the Queen. She must not give in to her personal weaknesses. She must be strong. Forcing her pain and hurt deep down, she moved to the sofa and deliberately widened her smile, not realizing it never reached her eyes. "Please, Wilkes, sit down and share the tea with me. Then I'm afraid that Charlotte and I have some work we must see to before this evening."
"I'll be back in fifteen minutes, your Majesty, if that is enough time?" Charlotte inquired, pouring tea into two cups.
Nodding, Clarisse thanked her, then Charlotte withdrew. Clarisse sipped her tea, marvelling that her hand wasn't even shaking the way Wilkes' was. Poor Wilkes! He must be feeling this as much or more than SHE was! Putting down her tea, Clarisse reached over and put her hand on Wilkes' arm. "How are YOU?" she asked softly.
"Oh, fine. Yes, fine, fine." His teacup shook a bit, belying his words.
"There is probably a very good explanation for what we saw," Clarisse said, trying to believe it herself.
"I understand Nanny spent time in the kitchen last night with Charlotte and Shades ... and Joseph," Wilkes muttered. "I feel as if I brought her here, then abandoned her. I hope she doesn't feel that I didn't want to spend time with her, that she is only fit to stay with the servants ... She's not very sure of herself, you know, despite her brave words."
Clarisse's eyes widened slightly. She hadn't realized Wilkes could be so observant. Nanny, for all her brash and boisterous ways, WAS lacking a certain self-confidence when it came to Wilkes and herself. And to think that Wilkes had noticed that! In spite of her own inner turmoil, Clarisse was pleased for her friend. That is, she was pleased until she remembered that it now appeared that Nanny had 'taken up' with Joseph.
O o O o O o
When Nanny was released from the clutches of the B's that night, she was looking and feeling quite unlike herself. Sir Wilkes, who had presented himself at her door to escort her to the ballroom, lost his voice and what bit of aplomb he had ever had when he saw her. The B's giggled at his stunned response to Nanny's appearance. Nanny blushed as his wide-eyed gaze roved up and down her figure, from the elaborate curls piled on top of her head, to the elbow-length evening gloves, to the tips of her elegant new shoes peeping out from beneath the dress that brought out the vivid blue of her eyes. Uncertainly, she dipped into a curtsey, and managed to rise again without falling over, evidence of the successful, relentless tutoring by the B's.
Still speechless, Sir Wilkes stuck out his arm and Nanny lightly encircled it with her gloved hand, not meeting his eyes. She could not help but feel a certain satisfaction, knowing that he so obviously approved of her appearance. If only she could gauge the REST of his feelings for her so accurately! When they got to the ballroom, the footmen opened the doors, and Nanny gulped at the sight of the swirling couples, the women all glittering with jewels and sequins. It was far, far, far grander than the Debutante Ball at the Plaza, and she had thought that THAT was grand!
As they advanced into the room, Nanny noticed the Queen dancing with a stout man. Joseph was standing by the wall at one door, Shades was at another door, and some other guards Nanny didn't recognize were spaced around the room. Charlotte greeted them at that point, murmuring that Queen Clarisse had already welcomed everyone and had begun the dancing, as was customary, with the Prime Minister. She then usually danced with every Member of Parliament, but would be free to visit with them after that.
"Oh, my," Nanny murmured. "She has quite a few duty dances!"
"Yes, indeed," Charlotte smiled.
"How about you?" Nanny asked, suddenly. Charlotte looked so pretty, she deserved to enjoy herself at this event.
"Me?" Charlotte was startled. "I ... what do you mean?"
"Do YOU have any duty dances?" Sir Wilkes asked Charlotte, his face reddening slightly.
Nanny smiled to herself. He had explained her words to Charlotte much as he had tried explaining what she had said to Mrs. Daniels at that ill-fated tea last fall! It was nice to know he obviously was on the same wavelength!
"Me? No, of course not. I don't usually dance at all." Charlotte blushed herself.
"But you ARE allowed to, aren't you, pet?" Nanny questioned. "Surely you are going to be able to enjoy the ball in this room which you have so beautifully decorated ..."
"With your help!" Charlotte smiled shyly. "Actually, I have only danced at one ball ... I'm usually too busy trying to keep track of Queen Clarisse's dances, to be sure she doesn't miss anyone and cause a state crisis! That's my job. Now, if you'll excuse me a moment, I have to speak with a gentleman over there ..." and she was gone.
Suddenly Sir Wilkes chuckled. Nanny looked at him questioningly. "I was just thinking," he explained, "of you and Charlotte decorating this room ... and remembering you both dancing and singing ..."
Now Nanny was flushing hotly. "Aoww, you WOULD have to mention that, wouldn't you?" but her underlying amusement was obvious. Then, before she lost her nerve, she blurted out, "Sir Wilkes, would you care to dance?"
He looked at Nanny, then at the dance floor, then back to Nanny. Holding out his hand for hers, he said gallantly, "Why, Nanny, I can't think of anything I'd rather do!"
They joined the couples on the floor, and, after the moment of silence stretched longer and longer, they both made the attempt at what turned out to be rather stilted conversation.
"Magnificent spectacle, this ball, don't you think?" Sir Wilkes murmured.
"Oh, yes. Quite. Quite." She took a deep breath. "So ... our holiday is half over. Are you enjoying it thus far?"
"Oh, immensely, thank you. You?"
"Oh yes, me too."
"You are feeling more like yourself?"
"Much, thank you." She cast around in her mind for something else to say, to take the conversation off herself. "There are so many lovely things to do and to see here ... it makes it rawther difficult to choose what to do!"
"Oh, quite, quite." he agreed. "Yes, yes, terribly so."
Silence fell between them again. Noticing Sir Wilkes glancing over at the Queen, Nanny found herself wondering if he was dancing with her simply because he could not dance yet with his friend, or out of a sense of duty because he had been forced to bring her to Genovia as well as to this dance and felt he had to keep her entertained. As they twirled, he pulled her a little closer, and she thrilled to the heat of his body all down hers. Her fingers tightened on his as sudden desire rushed over her and, closing her eyes, she pressed against him longingly for a split second before drawing back modestly. No ... he wasn't dancing with her solely because he was duty-bound to do so. THAT much was obvious! She must appeal to him in some way, on some level. Nanny gradually relaxed and began to enjoy herself immensely.
During a lull in the evening, Charlotte approached Nanny and Sir Wilkes with the information that the Queen was finished with her duty dances, and Sir Wilkes was welcome to ask her to dance whenever he wished. At that moment, the man Nanny recognized as the Prime Minister stepped up and bowed to her.
"May I have this dance, Ma'am?" he asked Nanny, who felt nervousness welling up inside. "If you will excuse me, Sir Wilkes? Charlotte?"
"Of course, Mr. Motaz," murmured Charlotte, just loud enough for Nanny to hear the man's name.
Sending Charlotte a grateful glance, Nanny put her hand in Mr. Motaz', and was led to the floor. For such a large man, he was surprisingly light on his feet. Nanny noticed Sir Wilkes approaching Queen Clarisse, and then those two took to the floor as well. She turned her attention back to Sebastian, trying to force down the tiny jealous streak she so hated to feel.
"I understand you are visiting Genovia with Sir Wilkes," Sebastian said. "I trust you are enjoying your vacation, Ma'am?"
"Very much, thank you, Mr. Motaz," Nanny replied. "Please, call me Nanny."
"Thank you, Nanny. And I am Sebastian." He smiled broadly. "We haven't seen Sir Wilkes here for a number of years, and never before has he had a female companion. And such a charming female companion at that!"
Nanny almost stumbled. What exactly was he implying? Hesitantly, she said, "Sir Wilkes was kind enough to bring me here to recuperate. I'm not exactly his 'female companion'."
"Please forgive me, Nanny, I did not mean that to sound the way it obviously did." Sebastian looked noticeably distressed. "My wife would have my head had she heard me! It's just ... well, I must admit, I and many others in this room are astounded by the resemblance between you and Queen Clarisse. You could almost be sisters! It's quite remarkable, really."
Nanny was taken aback. "Queen Clarisse and I? You must be joking!" The B's had said something similar, but ...
"It doesn't feel as if you are looking in a mirror when you see her?"
"In a mirror DIMLY, perhaps," Nanny said, dazedly. "I never thought ..." It HAD occurred to her that there was a faint similarity between herself and Queen Clarisse, but it ended at the 'faint' as far as she was concerned. Nanny was too accustomed to her awkward movements, rawther large hips, botto and bosom, not to mention the fullness in her face, jaw and throat, to ever see a likeness to someone as slim, graceful and stylish as the Queen, for Lord's sake!
"Are you related? How long have you known the Queen? Oh dear, I'm doing it again. Please, Nanny, do not feel obligated to answer my boorish questions." now the Prime Minister sounded contrite. "Perhaps we should speak of the weather ... or our health! You say you came to Genovia to recuperate. Should you even be dancing?"
"I had pneumonia," Nanny explained. "I get tired easily, but I'm fine, fine, fine. I haven't danced much this evening."
"Such a shame to come to a gala event such as this and remain a wallflower," Sebastian smiled. "And speaking of wallflowers, with your permission, I should return you to Sir Wilkes, who appears to be looking for you even while dancing with Queen Clarisse, and ask Miss Charlotte for a dance. Now THERE is a young lady who tries hard to be a wallflower, but who is deserving of so much more!"
Nanny smiled at him. "You are so, so, so right about THAT, Sebastian! So it IS permissible for her to dance? I had wondered."
"Of COURSE she may dance! Everyone here may dance, as far as I am concerned."
"Even Shades?" Nanny asked, REALLY wanting to ask about Joey, but deciding to pick on Shades as he was the security guard she could see right then.
"Shades?" Sebastian looked blank. Nanny indicated the man by the door, and Sebastian laughed. "Of course even Shades! Joseph has danced with Queen Clarisse on rare occasions, so yes, even Shades is welcome to dance."
Joey had danced at a gala ball with the Queen? Nanny filed that information away for future use as well.
The two made their way to where Charlotte was watching the dancing with Joseph, unaware of their approach.
"Miss Charlotte?" Sebastian stepped up to her and bowed. "May I have this dance?"
Charlotte's eyes grew wide. Joseph, on her the other side, caught Nanny's eye and they both grinned at each other. Shaking her head, almost stuttering with her protests, Charlotte tried to back away. Sebastian looked hurt. "Is there something wrong with me?"
"No, no, of course not, sir!" Charlotte blushed deeply, looking helplessly to Nanny for support.
Leaning forward, Nanny whispered in her ear, "Fake it until you make it." and gave her a little nudge forward.
Accepting Sebastian's hand at last, Charlotte reluctantly allowed herself to be led onto the dance floor.
Nanny looked at Joseph. "Will you dance once with me?"
"Of course," he said, smoothly, and they moved onto the floor.
"I would have thought you'd rather dance with Sir Wilkes," Joseph said.
Nanny smiled. "I just wanted one more dance with you, for old time's sake, Joey. Then I want to see you dance with the Queen."
He raised his eyebrows. "Me? Dance with Queen Clarisse?"
"Sebastian said you have before, on occasion."
Now Joseph frowned slightly. "Once or twice, but ..."
"Charlotte didn't want to dance either, but I said to her what you once said to me. Remember? Fake it until you make it."
"Clarisse hasn't said a word to me, or even looked at me, all afternoon or evening. Something must have ..." The same thought occurred to them both. "We were seen this morning!"
Both stopped dancing, and another couple bumped into them. Sir Wilkes and Queen Clarisse. Seizing the moment, Joseph took Sir Wilkes' hand from the Queen's and smoothly changed places with him so that Joseph was with the Queen and Sir Wilkes was with Nanny. "With your permission, Sir Wilkes?" Joseph said, then, without waiting for a reply, he danced the Queen away.
Nanny followed Sir Wilkes' lead silently for a moment, then gathered her courage up, telling herself she could fake it as well as anyone else. "Sir Wilkes?"
"Hmm?"
"Could we ... could we sit this one out, please? I find I am rawther tired ..."
"Oh! Oh, by all means, Nanny! I'm terribly sorry! I should have thought ..."
O o O o O o
When Joseph had Clarisse in his arms, he noticed that she had paled considerably, and wouldn't look at him. Nor had she said a word for the first few moments of their dance. She HAD to have seen his meeting with Nanny that morning! "Wonderful party, Clarisse," he ventured to say.
"Charlotte is responsible for everything," was her distant reply.
He felt as though he was dancing with a statue, as she was not giving in to him at all. He wondered desperately how to approach the subject of this morning. For the first time ever, he was not holding Clarisse in his arms, but rather the Queen ... a brittle, distant Queen who very obviously wished to be somewhere else. Somehow he had the feeling that faking it this time would not help him in the slightest.
O o O o O o
The midnight buffet was set out, and after eating, most of the guests began to say their goodbyes. Nanny, tired and limping slightly because of swollen feet, sat for a time with Charlotte and Shades watching the dancers swirl past them. Then she urged them to leave her and dance themselves.
"Dance? Me?" Shades shook his head. "Oh, no! Not me!"
Fixing him with a stern glare, Nanny said firmly, "You expect Charlotte to watch boxing on television with you, even when she doesn't enjoy it, and you won't do something for her and with her that SHE enjoys? Shame on you, Shades!"
Charlotte, looking embarrassed, muttered that she did not need to dance, and Shades grinned triumphantly at Nanny. "See?"
Nanny stared him down, saying nothing.
Finally, grumbling, Shades stood up. "Oh, all right. Charlotte? Will you dance with me?" He bowed correctly and held out his hand to her.
After an agonizing moment, Charlotte put her hand in his and allowed him to draw her to her feet. "But if we dance, you'll be alone, Nanny!" she protested.
"Tosh, tosh, tosh, she's not alone!" Suddenly Sir Wilkes was there, a rather sober Clarisse by his side. "Run along, children."
"Children?" Shades and Charlotte looked at each other, then burst out laughing.
Clarisse smiled faintly. Nanny scrambled to get to her feet, but Clarisse waved her back down and sat beside her.
"Did you have many such dances when your husband King Rupert, may he live forever, was alive?" Nanny asked.
Shades and Charlotte, who had just turned away, both swung back with an incredulous look on their faces. Clarisse sat as if frozen, then a twinkle appeared in her eyes. Sir Wilkes bit off a sharp bark of laughter at the sight of Nanny's face. She was realizing she had said something very wrong, but wasn't exactly sure what it was.
"Come dance with me, Nanny," Sir Wilkes said hurriedly, struggling to contain his laughter.
Forgetful of her sore feet, just wanting to escape her newest embarrassment, Nanny accepted quickly. As they began to dance, Sir Wilkes said in her ear, "The usual saying here is 'May he rest in peace', not 'May he live forever', Nanny. From what I knew of him, King Rupert was a decent enough chap, but I don't know ANYONE who would have wanted him to live forever!"
Nanny closed her eyes and wished desperately she could turn back the clock ... right back to when Eloise suggested she come to Genovia! Had she known then how she would embarrass herself from the moment she asked Charlotte what Clarisse did until now, she would have remained safely at home! Of course, she never would have met up with Joey again, and that DID make up for a lot of mortification! Well, she would fake enjoyment in this evening until she actually DID enjoy it! After all, what more could she ask, besides total anonymity, than to dance with Sir Wilkes? He was an absolutely divine, divine, divine dancer!
Then Sir Wilkes broke her bubble of happiness by timidly asked if she had known Joseph before coming to Genovia.
Nanny almost missed a step in her dancing. Surely Sir Wilkes had not seen herself and Joey that morning, too! How many MORE people would have seen them? Now THIS was humiliating! "Actually, yes, I knew him a long time ago. We lost touch. I only recognized him yesterday."
"Remarkable!"
"Yes, quite so."
Sir Wilkes hesitantly commented, "He must have been a very ... close ... friend. Oh dear, I had quite forgotten your poor feet, Nanny! Perhaps we should retire ... er, perhaps YOU should retire to your room, and I to mine ... Oh dear, perhaps we should speak with Clarisse ..." Now he was blushing vividly as he steered her back to the Queen.
Nanny was left feeling rawther frustrated, still uncertain of his feelings. Had Sir Wilkes seen her with Joey this morning, and did he really care? Wasn't he more interested in his 'friend', Clarisse? Oh, Nanny was ready to retire all right: ready to 'retire' all the way back to New York!
O o O o O o
Her room was dimly lit by the moonlight streaming in the window when Nanny awoke in the middle of the night. She stumbled to the bathroom, pushing back the hair that had escaped from her night braid, then back to sit on the side of the bed. Her feet were still a little swollen, so she vowed to wear her old shoes the next day, and not worry about being elegant! Feeling dry after the wine she had consumed at the ball, she picked up the water glass that had been left on her bedside table, and gulped. She must have been half asleep, she realized later, because the water went down the wrong way and suddenly she was coughing and choking and unable to stop or to catch her breath. Panic gripped her, and she had visions of dying alone in Genovia without ever talking with Joey again and no one in New York ever hearing anything about her again, because Sir Wilkes would marry Queen Clarisse and live happily ever after here ...
In the midst of her struggles to stop coughing and draw a normal breath, Nanny suddenly realized that the connecting door had crashed open and Sir Wilkes was in her room ... his arms around her as he sat beside her, supporting her, patting her back awkwardly as if she was a child in need of comfort. "I just ... just swallowed the wrong way ..." she managed to croak hoarsely.
"It's all right, Nanny," his voice was low and soothing, his lips at her temple. "You'll be all right. You must have been doing too much today. Remember you're still recuperating ..."
"Coughing hurts ..." she murmured when at last the coughing stopped. "I was scared, Willy ... but you're here," She gripped his pyjama top and rubbed her face on his shoulder, not really aware of what she was doing. "S'all right now, but so, so, so tired ..." and she promptly fell asleep again.
Shocked, Sir Wilkes sat on the edge of the bed, a sleeping Nanny in his arms. "Good heavens," he muttered, using the light of the moon to look down at her peaceful face framed by wisps of hair, and the thick braid over her shoulder. He tried moving to lie her down properly, but she mumbled something and clenched both fists more tightly on his pyjamas. Sighing, he resigned himself to sitting up just a little longer, idly wondering why he wasn't more concerned about propriety than about how wonderful it felt to be holding her so close in his protective embrace.
He found himself echoing Eloise's phraseology as he thought, 'I absolutely LOVE being the strong one in a relationship!' No other woman had ever looked up to him in awe, had been so obviously bowled over by his mere presence. Only Nanny. She made him feel like a giant ... she made him feel like a man. Only Nanny. Yes, he knew Clarisse liked him, but he knew she was often impatient with his shyness and frustrated by his inability to be forceful. Women like Mrs. Daniels occasionally fawned over him because of his title. But only Nanny adored him for who HE was, for HIMSELF, or so Eloise had told him.
A smile spread over his face, and he carefully leaned back against her pillows, still cradling Nanny in his arms. She was certainly very, very special. His smile widened as he thought of her performance that afternoon with Charlotte. He adored that wild side of her, probably because it prompted him to force aside his own inhibitions and be the person he would like to be. Yes, indeed, Nanny was VERY special. Maybe some day he'd gather enough courage to actually TELL her!
O o O o O o
To Be Continued